I tell no one that I’m meeting with Ethan because it doesn’t need to be said. Mom would freak out and Brenna would barricade herself in my house and forbid me to leave. I made the mistake of telling them immediately after I found out the truth, and their shock and horror over who he really is reaffirmed my decision to run from him.

I needed that affirmation. The doubt that plagued me after everything happened left me so confused. I barely functioned, in a fog for days afterward. It took my overwhelming, nearly suffocating anger to put everything into crystal-clear focus.

There’s some regret in telling my family what happened between Ethan—Will—and me. They’ll hold this against him forever, not that I can blame them. But there’s telling your family things that are happening in your life in order to gain their comfort and sympathy, and then there’s telling your family too much.

I went the too much route and it was a mistake. But what’s done is done. There’s no turning back now.

Nerves eat at me as I make the drive and my mind races. Am I wearing the right thing? Do I look pretty? Do I want to look pretty?

Yes. I want him aware of me. I want him to feel that same dull ache in the pit of his stomach that I feel. I want him to hurt, knowing that I’m so close but he can’t have me.

But am I trying too hard? What do I say to him? What will I do when I first see him? Will I be able to face him, look into his eyes, find my voice and actually speak to him? Or will I want to run away? Worse, will I want to lash out and hurt him? Never physically—he could overpower me in an instant.

With words, though, I could hurt him. Say all those horrible things I know would tear him up inside. Do I want that? Is that what I truly seek in meeting with him right now?

The realization scares me.

It can never be the same between us. I know this. Yet despite my anger, I’m still sad that what happened is too large of an obstacle for us to overcome.

For me to overcome.

Somehow, I end up at the coffee shop. I hardly remember parking the car, walking along the street, and entering the warm, fragrant building, so many people inside buzzing with energy, chatting excitedly as they sip their coffee. I look around, my entire body quaking as my gaze searches for him, but he’s not there.

Disappointment makes my heart drop and I tell myself to shake it off. I’m early. Glancing at my phone, I see I’m here a whopping fifteen minutes before our planned meeting time, so I go back outside, the cool, salty air like a balm to my overheated, overstimulated body.

A park bench sits out in front of the building and I settle on it, my shoulders hunched against the cold, my head bowed so my chin dips into the soft infinity scarf around my neck. I wore black leggings and an oversized charcoal-gray sweater, my hair up in a bun, my scarf a bright red color that probably draws too much attention. Pearl earrings that my grandma gave me for my twelfth birthday, minimal makeup, black flats.

I didn’t want to stand out, so maybe the red scarf was a mistake? I look up and glance around, hoping to spot Ethan making his approach, but so far he’s nowhere in sight.

What if he doesn’t show?

Get a grip. You’re worrying over nothing.

Pulling my phone out of my tiny cross-body purse, I open it up. Check my email. Boring. Just endless sale messages. I’m not on Facebook, not on Instagram, not on anything. I check my text messages, though I don’t have any unread ones. I reread the chain of messages between Ethan and me, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. I’m tempted to say something, but what?

I’m here!

Too eager.

Are you coming?

Way too anxious.

Where are you?

Too demanding.

Sighing, I shove my phone back into my purse and zip it closed. I’m being ridiculous. The more I wait, the more I want him to appear, whereas on the drive over, I had contemplated that his not showing would be a good thing.

Clearly I make no sense.

“Katherine?”

The familiar female voice causes me to jerk my head up, my eyes widening when I see who’s standing before me.

Lisa freaking Swanson.

“What are you doing here?” I breathe, glancing around, hoping like crazy Ethan doesn’t choose this particular moment to appear. If he does, we’re done for. Lisa will jump on this like a shark smelling blood in the water. She’ll grab hold and never let go until we’re both dead.

She sends me a look, one I can’t decipher. “I could ask you the same question.”

I gape at her. Is it really any of her business? “Having coffee.”

Lisa’s head dips, her gaze locked on my empty hands. “Hanging out first before you go get a cup?”

I say nothing. There’s no point in defending my actions. I’ll just scramble and trip over my words and look like a liar—exactly what I am.

“Interesting choice of location, too,” Lisa continues, looking left, then right. As if she’s trying to find someone. My throat goes tight and I press my lips together. “So close to the—scene of the crime. Are you trying to confront all of those inner demons, Katherine? This would make great TV, by the way.”

Irritation fills me. Fuels me. I rise to my feet, causing her to back up a step. I realize in that instant I’m taller than her—and I’m of average height, so this isn’t saying much. I look down at her, dredging up any scrap of strength I can find within me. “Do you consider every life moment TV-worthy?”

She tilts her head back, smiling up at me. “Yes. It’s what makes me so good at my job.”

Realization dawns and I step away from her, thrusting myself onto the sidewalk. A couple headed straight for me has to dodge around me and I mumble an apology to their quickly retreating backs before I return my focus on Lisa. “Are you following me?”

Lisa blinks, the personification of innocence. “Why would you think that?”

She is. Oh God, she is. How dare she? “You are, aren’t you.” My voice is flat. I don’t bother waiting for a response. She could defend herself till the cows come home and I won’t believe a word she says. “You have no right to follow me.”

“I have every right to follow you,” she says crisply, her eyebrows rising. I bet she figured I’d be my usual meek self. Well, forget that. “Agree to the interview and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Do you really think you’ll gain my cooperation with bully tactics? I don’t think so.” I’m about to leave, turn on my heel and get the hell out of there, when I spot him. Him.

Ethan.

He’s to my left, walking along the sidewalk, somehow a head taller than everyone else in the crowd. Our gazes meet. Lock. His mouth curves upward at the same time mine curves down. His brows furrow in that way he gets when he’s concerned or agitated and I quickly shake my head, sending him a look that says stay away. My heart races as if it’s desperate to leap out of my chest and chase after Ethan.

As if it knows that’s where it belongs.

Enough.

I swallow hard, my gaze meeting Lisa’s once more. Thank God she didn’t notice Ethan making his way toward us. She’s too busy talking to pay attention.

“You’re being extremely difficult, Katherine, and I don’t understand why. My boss says he’s desperate for you to be included in this interview.” Please. Her boss isn’t desperate; she is. “Even if it’s for ten minutes.” At my eye roll she amends herself. “Five minutes. Two minutes, whatever it takes to get your opinion on Aaron Monroe and what he has to say.”

I shake my head, trying my best to remain composed. “I refuse to allow you to manipulate me any further. You had your chance. Now please, leave me alone.”

Without a backward glance I walk away. I can almost feel Lisa’s angry gaze on me, her frustration following after me in palpable waves. But I also feel something else, something full of . . . longing and confusion. Every hair on my body seems to stand on end and I rub my hands over my forearms to wipe away the chill bumps that suddenly formed.

As subtly as I can, I glance over my shoulder to catch Ethan watching me in the near distance. Unnoticed by Lisa, by everyone but me. He’s just another man in the growing crowd, his mouth tight, his eyes full of . . . so much pain.

I meet his gaze for the briefest moment and I can feel him. Feel his presence, his strengths, his weaknesses, but most of all I feel his unequivocal yearning reaching toward me. The yearning he feels for me. For this.

For us.

My traitorous body answers, everything within me growing warm and loose. I quickly turn away, my breath short, my heart thumping like a wild thing, the blood roaring in my ears. One look at him, one single moment of our gazes meeting, and I’m lost. His hold on me is so incredibly baffling, so unbelievably dangerous, I’m not sure what to do.

I don’t know how to resist, even though I know I should.

Instead of going to my car, I dart into the narrow alleyway between the coffee shop and the building next to it. I lean against the brick wall to catch my breath, close my eyes for the briefest moment as I try to compose my chaotic thoughts.

Did I really think I’d be able to withstand Ethan by meeting him in public? Like that would make a difference? We just saw each other with plenty of distance between us and I feel like I’ve been electrified by a live wire. What might have happened if he’d actually touched me?

I don’t know if I would have survived it.

“Katie.”

That deep, masculine voice slides down my spine, settling low. I open my eyes, my lips parting when I see him standing directly in front of me. Panic, fear, and longing mix together and leave me breathless.

It’s Ethan.