She’d never been so exhausted in her life, as she was at this moment. Myla laid in her bed at Ziva’s house and wasn’t sure she could move. When she’d offered to babysit, it sounded so much easier than it turned out to be. But it was a nonstop feeding and chasing frenzy. The parents had said it was because they were all wound up with the holiday. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she wished she could have a fourth of the energy they had.
When their parents returned from shopping, they hadn’t looked much different than how she felt. She couldn’t understand why everyone was making such a fuss. They didn’t do things like this back home. There wasn’t pressure on exchanging gifts like here. Myla had to admit, Boston was beautiful to look at with all the different colored lights and the snow on the ground, but none of it felt like home.
There was a knock on her door, and she called for them to come in. Ziva peeked her head inside. “I’m checking on you. Is everything okay?”
Myla didn’t even lift her head from the pillow. “Fine. Did you need me to help with something?”
Ziva came over to the bed and sat down. “Is it home or Leon?”
She didn’t want to talk about either right now. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and dream happy thoughts, but she knew Ziva wasn’t going to leave until she had some answers.
“How do you do it?”
“It’s different for me, Myla. There isn’t anyone in Tabiq waiting for me.”
It’d been insensitive for her to say such a thing. Myla knew Ziva had no family left. Alex was all she had. “I’m sorry, Ziva, I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t be. I’m so lucky, Myla. I love my life. I’m happy, and because of Alex, I’m able to actually do what I’ve wanted to do. Make a difference in Tabiq.”
She could tell by the look in Ziva’s eyes that she meant it. “I guess that’s what I’m missing.” Purpose. Ziva and Alex were working to correct so many of the corrupt and brutal ways that had plagued her country for the last forty-five years. Thanks to Alex’s father.
“Myla, you’re working to be a teacher. I commend you for doing so. I wish I had the patience to do that. I mean all the children. I just couldn’t.”
Myla laughed. “Do you see me lying here in bed?” Ziva nodded. “I’m worn out. Actually, I’m not sure I can get up even if I wanted to.”
“Oh, thank God. I thought I was the only one.” She gave Myla a nudge to move over. She pushed to one side, and Ziva collapsed on the bed. “If Leon wasn’t coming over today, I don’t think I’d have gotten up either.”
Myla looked at the clock and stiffened with panic. She threw the covers off and dashed toward the bathroom. “I’ve got to get ready. I told him to come at eleven.”
Ziva called out from inside the room. “Do you want the bad news now or later?”
Myla peeked her head out and said, “Now.”
“He’s downstairs having coffee with Alex.”
“Shoot. I have to—”
“Take your time. It’s odd, but those two seem to have so much to talk about. I think we can show up in an hour, and they’ll still be engrossed in whatever it is they find so interesting to discuss.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”
“Me either. If you ask me, I think they’re accusing us of cheating in the mystery room.”
She started the shower and jumped in. It’s better than what I thought. Alex for some reason wasn’t nagging her about Leon. Was it because he liked him and thought they were good together or was it because Alex knew he was leaving and this wasn’t going to be an issue for much longer?
When she got out of the shower, she found a dress she’d never seen before on the bed with a pair of high heels to match. Is this a hint? She was grateful for everything Ziva was doing for her. She quickly dressed and headed downstairs.
As Ziva had predicted, she found Leon sitting in the living room with Alex. She could hear their laughter before she entered. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“Not one bit. Merry Christmas, Myla. Now if you two will excuse me, I’m going to see where Ziva disappeared to.”
Once alone, Leon walked over and kissed her cheek. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you.”
“It looks even nicer than I thought it would.”
She didn’t understand that comment. “What do you mean?”
“I wanted to get you something for Christmas. When I saw this dress, I knew it was meant for you.”
She looked down at her dress again and then back to him. “You got me this dress? Really?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Yesterday while you were babysitting, I went shopping.”
“For me?”
Leon laughed. “I sure didn’t get the dress for Alex.”
Myla smiled. “I don’t know what to say.” She’d thought it was from Ziva when she found it laid out for her. Had he been in her bedroom while she showered? “How did it get upstairs?”
“Ziva was kind enough to deliver it for me.”
Thank God. She’d remembered singing in the shower. She did it out of enjoyment, not from talent. She felt funny at what she’d gotten him. It seemed so small and trite, but what else did she have to give him? Myla walked over to the mantel and picked up the package she’d wrapped for him. “It’s not much, but I thought you could use it in Africa.”
Leon opened the box and took out the leather-bound journal that had Dr. Leon Oliveira engraved in gold lettering. He ran his fingers over it and smiled. “Thank you, Myla. It’s perfect.”
“I know you said this was your last course before its official, but I wanted you to have it when you . . . go.”
“You have no idea what this means to me, Myla.”
He held the journal and went to sit on the couch. She joined him and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I have so many people in my life, and no one has ever seen what truly is important to me, except for you. My family would rather buy me a car or hell, an island, before acknowledging what I’ve been working on my entire life.”
“I’m sorry.” She knew what it was like for people to not see someone for who they really were and try to make them something they weren’t meant to be.
“I’ve given up expecting anything different.” Turning to face her, Leon added, “You’re an amazing young woman, Myla. For someone your age to be able to see and understand is shocking. When I was eighteen, I don’t think I was half as wise and mature as you.”
Eighteen. That’s right. He doesn’t know. It was all making sense now why he’d pushing her away all week. He still thought she was fourteen years younger than he was. It was painful not to be able to tell him the truth. If he were staying, if they had a future together, she would. Since their time was short, it made no sense to risk throwing away everything she and Alex had done to keep her here and in college. No matter how much I want him, the risk is too great. I could lose so much more than just my heart.
“Are you two ready to head over to Lena and Brice’s?” Ziva asked with Alex by her side.
“We are,” Leon replied.
They spent the next few hours mingling with all the other Hendersons. There was no talk of work. It was filled with love and laughter as she’d always dreamed it would be. She excused herself from the crowd and made her way to the French doors that overlooked a large stone patio. A few snowflakes were coming down. She watched a large one slowly floating like a feather to the ground only to blend in with the others.
She felt as though that described her perfectly. No longer alone. She was now permanently part of this family. She wasn’t missing her home like she thought she should. Was that wrong? Shouldn’t she be sad or depressed to be so far away? Why was her heart filled with a joy she’d never known before? Myla knew it wasn’t only where she was; it was who she was with. She’d changed in a short time, and she knew she’d never be the same again. What does that mean for me? What does that mean for Tabiq?
Leon hated leaving her at Alex and Ziva’s, but it was where she was spending the night again. He wanted to be alone with her. Although he knew it was the worst thing he could do, he didn’t want to take her to her dorm either. He wanted to take her to his apartment and strip that beautiful dress off her. It looks great on her, but it’ll look even better on my bedroom floor.
His body was aching for her. The need was becoming unbearable. Yet, he knew this was more than a physical attraction to her. He’d told her they couldn’t make love because it’d be harder on her when he left. Today confirmed what he’d been avoiding. The truth: leaving her was going to be equally painful for him.
He walked out on his balcony and let the cold air slap him in the face. He needed a reality check. When he’d opened his gift, it was like she’d opened his heart. How was he going to get through the next week and a half without her knowing he was falling in love with her?
Damn it. Why her? Why now? It wasn’t logical, but everything in him told him it was right. He’d promised not to hurt her. That was one promise he couldn’t keep. It was inevitable, and he hated himself for it.
When he saw her standing and staring out the glass doors, he could see the pain in her eyes. No matter what joy he brought her, it also came with equal sadness. Instead of doing what was right and telling her goodbye, he said he’d pick her up tomorrow, and they’d go to a museum. Is adding more memories the wise thing to do? No. Am I going to stop? No.
He needed time with her more than she did with him. She was young, and when he was gone, she’d find someone else. Deep inside Leon knew there wasn’t anyone else for him other than Myla. If only she were older I could talk to her, make her understand.
The wind was so cold his face began to burn. He didn’t want to go inside. The burn of the cold didn’t match the pain in his heart. Leaving the one person who seemed to care what mattered to him wasn’t easy. But I can’t ask her to come with me; that’s no life for someone like her. He knew she had her own set of dreams, and he’d never ask her to give them up. That’s not what love is about.
When he’d walked into that anatomy seminar, he never thought it would change his life. But it had. Was it for the best? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was he was never going to be the same. And he didn’t want to be.
Leon was going to make sure he saw Myla every single day until he boarded the jet to West Africa. He wanted to permanently etch everything about her in his memory. Her laugh, smile, voice. What she liked and didn’t like. If it meant asking her questions day and night, he would, because he needed to cram a lifetime into ten days. He walked into his apartment, grabbed a glass, and poured himself a large bourbon. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but tonight he needed his brain to be numb, or he’d never sleep. Just because I’m going to have to let her go, doesn’t mean it’s what I want to do.