Anna
I hadn’t planned how I was going to tell him. But just as we were arriving for dinner at Andrew and Mandy’s definitely wasn’t the ideal situation to drop this particular bomb. Or was it a bomb? Even though I wasn’t sure I would take Daniel’s job offer, I decided to resign. I wanted to be with Ethan and it wasn’t realistic to expect him to move. I liked New York and Daniel’s offer at least proved that I had options around my career.
Ethan grabbed my hand from the knocker, but it was too late, I’d already thumped out our arrival.
“What did you say?” His eyes were boring into me, but I didn’t turn to meet his glare.
“You heard what I said. Let’s talk about it later.” I could already hear rustling behind the door.
“No, I want to talk about it now. You handed your notice in and didn’t think I might want to know?” I couldn’t tell if he was mad or just shocked. But he wasn’t happy, and I suppose I’d expected him to be. Frankly, I’d expected him to be bloody ecstatic.
“Of course I thought you would want to know, which is why I said I had things to tell you.”
“So do you have a new job? Are you going to India to be a yoga instructor? Or joining a cult? What the—” Mandy’s wide smile and bouncy hair greeted us as she flung open the door.
“I’m so pleased you’re here.” She pulled me into a hug. “Get in before you let all the heat out. Andrew’s in the basement trying to find some wine that Ethan won’t spit out in disgust.”
I avoided Ethan’s glare as we stripped off our coats, boots and scarves and headed into the kitchen.
“Mandy, I just need a quick word with Anna in private—”
“No you don’t.” It wasn’t the time to talk about this.
“Okay, fine. We’ll do it in front of Mandy,” Ethan said.
“No we won’t.”
“Are you fighting?” Mandy looked worried.
“Not fighting. I just found out about thirty seconds ago that Anna quit her job.”
“Ethan!” I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. This was between us, it should be private.
“You quit your job?” Mandy asked.
“Who quit their job?” Andrew emerged from the basement carrying numerous bottles of wine.
“Anna,” Mandy said. Oh my god, this was ridiculous.
“Great. Are you moving to New York?” Andrew asked the sixty four thousand dollar question.
I didn’t respond. My mouth opened and closed like a guppy. I was still in shock that the information I’d kept to myself so I could reveal it when the time was right was now being handed around like candy at a children’s birthday party.
“You said you’d lost your mojo, but I thought that was temporary. I thought you liked your job,” Ethan said, trying to catch my eye.
He didn’t sound excited. He didn’t sound happy. He sounded concerned, scared even.
“I do, I did.”
Andrew started handing out very full glasses of wine, thank goodness. “It’s just, well I have lost my mojo, and I thought about it and it’s never going to work out there. If we stay together there’s the anti-fraternization policy and if we were to split, I couldn’t be at that firm, there’s no way I’d handle it, so, I just . . .” Had I done the wrong thing? I’d been excited to tell Ethan. I thought he’d be pleased by the news, but maybe I’d been wrong.
“If we stay together?” Ethan asked. “When did we become an ‘if’?”
“Don’t get lost in the semantics, Ethan,” Mandy said. “Let’s sit down. Do you want us to leave you for a few minutes?”
I really could have done without the audience. This was proper personal stuff and I was British. I wasn’t used to sharing this shit. But Ethan shook his head and I didn’t want to be any ruder than we were being already.
“I didn’t mean anything by saying ‘if’, Ethan. I thought this could be a good thing for us. But I understand that it might be too soon and that’s fine, it doesn’t have to be a big deal,” I said. “I’m sorry about all this,” I said turning to Mandy. Tears started to form in the back of my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was start crying.
Ethan reached for me and pulled me toward him. His arms around me felt like the best thing in the world. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his chest.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry. I just want to know these things,” Ethan whispered into my ear.
“I didn’t want to put pressure on us. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything,” I replied.
“What do you mean pressure?” Ethan asked.
“You’re being such a guy, Ethan,” Mandy said. “She doesn’t want you to feel like she’s pressuring you into inviting her to New York. And you need to stop being such a girl, Anna,” she continued. “Ethan wants you in New York. He’s desperate for you to move here, but he’s been running around trying to work out how he can move to London, so you don’t have to give it all up for him.”
The tears started to fall. I couldn’t stop them and Ethan pulled me closer. “You don’t think that do you? That I’d feel pressure if you quit your job?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Fuck that. If you want to come to New York, you’ve made me the happiest man in Manhattan. But if you want something else—”
“I don’t, I want to be here with you.”
“Do we have champagne in that cellar?” I heard Mandy ask as Ethan pulled my chin up. When I was finally looking at him he pressed his lips against mine.
“I can’t believe it,” Ethan said as he pushed his hands through his hair. “I thought, I don’t know, I thought we’d have this long discussion about everything, and that I’d end up moving to London. I’d have to rebuild my practice and get new clients and it would be a complete ball-ache. You’ve just waved a magic wand and made everything so much easier. I mean, are you sure? You’re okay with this? You’re not going to change your mind?”
I couldn’t stop myself from grinning at him as he scanned my face, waiting for me to tell him it was a big joke. I was so happy that he wanted me in New York, that he wasn’t angry, that he didn’t feel backed into a corner.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m really, really sure.”
“Where’s that fucking champagne, Andrew?” Ethan bellowed.
“So, when are you moving?” Mandy asked.
“Well, I’ve only just been invited, so you know as much as I do,” I replied, still beaming at Ethan. “I have to work my notice though. Three months.”
“Three months my ass. There’s no way you’ll have to work that if you don’t want to.”
“Well, I’ll need to plan and do things in London before I leave, so I can’t just stay here.”
“Please, beautiful, I can’t wait three months. Say you’ll be here quicker than that.”
I reached up and stroked his handsome face. “I’ll speak to the partners when I get back and see what I can do. Maybe they’ll let me go earlier.”
“This is so exciting,” Mandy said. “I can show you round Manhattan properly. It’s such a shame you don’t live up town, there’s the most fabulous nail bar three blocks from here.”
“We could move if you wanted?” Ethan looked at me expectantly.
“Wow, this is all a lot to take in,” I said.
“You’re not smothering her are you, Mandy?” Andrew asked, emerging from the basement. “She probably wants to concentrate on getting a job rather than getting her nails done.”
“You know, you don’t have to worry about that,” Ethan said. “But of course, if you want to work, I can speak to my contacts. I’m sure I can find something for you.”
“Maybe I have my own contacts . . . and of course I want to work.” I play slapped him on his arm. “Actually, Daniel might have something for me. He’s hiring a lawyer based here in New York.”
“Jesus, what other secrets have you been keeping from me?”