Chapter Twenty-Seven
When angry, count four.
When very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
Even though I feel bad about Niccolaio sleeping on the couch, I don’t do anything about it. I hate to highlight any of his good attributes, but I have to admit that he’s gentlemanly enough to insist that I sleep anywhere other than the bed.
And I’m not about to invite him to join me.
But it’s only been seven days of hiding out, and my resolve is already wavering. I’m not sure how I feel about this. After all, Jax sleeps slouched against the wall, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about that.
At the same time, Jax shot a bullet at me. Well, it was at Niccolaio, but with his terrible aim, I ended up in its projectile. So, I have a good reason not to feel guilty about Jax’s treatment. On the other hand, if Niccolaio hadn’t followed me out of John’s brownstone, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
But… I also wouldn’t have a place to stay while I study for my LSATs.
My brain continues to go back and forth between the reasons to and not to allow Niccolaio on the bed when the man in question enters the warehouse, casually whistling an unfamiliar tune. My giant LSAT practice book is on the bed in front of me, and I quickly flip to the next page to hide the list I’ve drawn in the margins:
To (Literally) Sleep with Niccolaio or Not To?
Pros |
Cons |
1. I’ll stop feeling guilty about him sleeping on the bed. 2. He saved me from bullets (twice), is giving me a place to live, and has been a complete gentleman. 3. I’d end up jumping his bones. |
1. He’s the reason I can’t visit Mina. 2. He was the reason I needed saving from bullets (twice), is the reason I’m living in a safe house and blackmailed me into revealing my past. 3. I’d end up jumping his bones. |
I stare purposefully at the new LSAT practice page in front of me, but the words end up blurring together. I closed the book with a resigned sigh, since I haven’t glanced at it once in the past three hours anyway.
Instead, I’ve been stuck in my head, juggling my confusion about whether I like or dislike Niccolaio and my anger and frustration at not being able to see Mina. My worry for Mina has been lodged in the back of my mind for the past week, but today it’s at the forefront of my concern.
I was supposed to visit Mina today, but for the second week in a row, I couldn’t. The worst part is I haven’t been able to tell her why I can’t visit her. I just left, like a ghost. Like her mother, her father, and now me. She’s either out of her mind in worry, feeling abandoned, or both.
And that’s killing me.
It’s that thought that reinforces my resolve to stay angry at Niccolaio. Plus, it’s better for everyone if I keep my distance emotionally.
So, when Niccolaio approaches me and opens his mouth to speak, I cut him off with an appropriate amount of attitude, “What do you want? I’m studying.”
“I ha—”
I lift up my book, shake it and interrupt, “Studying.”
“Minka,” he says, firmly this time.
The demanding way he says my name sends shivers down my spine.
I make a production of sighing, pushing away my book, and crossing my arms. I arch a perfectly shaped brow. “Yes?”
“I have something for you.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” he mocks, a smirk on his face.
I roll my eyes and accept the small box he hands me. Inside of it is a tablet from Black Enterprises.
“What’s this for?” I ask, my eyes widening as I open the box.
“Turn it on.”
I narrow my eyes at him in suspicion before cautiously pressing the “on” button. Niccolaio takes a seat next to me on the bed. I let him grab the tablet from me as soon as it powers on. He presses something on the screen, and a few moments later, Mina’s beautiful face appears on the screen.
My jaw drops. “Mina?!” I turn to Niccolaio. “How?!”
Mina answers for him, her voice an excited screech, “I got a tablet, Minka! A tablet! Can you believe it?”
“No,” I answer honestly, because I can’t believe it.
Tablets are a luxurious expense Mina’s group home can’t afford. I’ve thought of saving up to buy her one before, so we could video chat, but that idea was vetoed immediately by Erica. Apparently, it would be cruel for only one child to have one and not the rest.
While I agreed with Erica that it would be cruel, I hated that it meant I couldn’t talk to Mina on a daily basis. Yet, Mina has a tablet right now, and I know the group home wouldn’t approve of it, which brings me to my earlier question.
“How?” I ask Niccolaio again.
Mina happily interjects, “He got us all tablets! Everyone!”
“All of them?!” My eyes widen, and the stare I give Niccolaio is equal parts disbelief and confusion.
I should be grateful.
Actually, I am grateful.
But I’m also confused.
Why would he do this for me and Mina?
He shrugs casually, as if he’s playing it off. “It’s not a big deal. Asher’s company donated them.”
“It is a big deal. This wouldn’t have happened without you,” I insist. Remembering our situation, I put the video chat on mute and say, “What about the hit on you? Don’t the people after you know that you’re connected to Asher Black? Isn’t it risky for Asher to suddenly donate a bunch of tablets to a random group home?”
“It would be,” Niccolaio agrees, and I tense. “That’s why he donated tablets to every group home in the city.”
My jaw drops. “What?! Every single one?! That must have cost him a fortune! Why would he do that?”
Niccolaio shrugs and doesn’t answer me. And even though I want to know, I don’t press him. I’m too happy to care. So, when the urge to hug Niccolaio grips me by the throat, I don’t fight it. I lean forward and wrap my arms tightly around his broad torso, soaking myself in the seductive scent of sandalwood, musk and Niccolaio.
“I don’t know how you got Asher to do this, but thank you,” I whisper into his ear.
Even though I should let go, I keep myself pressed against Niccolaio. After a few awkward seconds, he wraps his arms around my body, returning the hug. It occurs to me that this is the first hug I’ve ever received from anyone other than Mina and Mrs. Rosario.
I don’t care that it’s in front of Jax, who is staring at us from the other side of the room with a brand new nectarine lodge into his mouth.
I don’t care that it’s in front of Mina, who is surprisingly quiet on the other end of the video chat.
I don’t care that it’s with someone I keep telling myself I’m supposed to hate.
All I care about right now is how ecstatic I am, the fact that someone would do something for me without expecting anything in return and the incredible way his arms feel wrapped around my body.
Like bliss.
“Pssttt!” Mina’s youthful voice comes from the tablet in a loud whisper. Her voice is clear when she whisper shouts, “Is he your boyfriend?”
I jump back from Niccolaio’s body, untangling myself from him when I realize the tablet is facing us and Mina can see everything. I unmute the video chat, trying to will away the redness on my cheeks.
Niccolaio sends me a knowing look and gets up, stretching his body even though he was only sitting for a few minutes. I appreciate it when he gives me and Mina privacy, entering the bathroom and turning on the shower.
When he shuts the door behind him, I finally answer Mina’s question, “No, he’s not my boyfriend. And he heard that, Mina!”
Mina shrugs innocently. “I whispered,” she says, as if it excuses mortifying me. She gives me a no nonsense look. “He’s sooo cute. You should date him.”
I groan. “I don’t choose to date guys just because they look nice, Mina.”
“Then, how else do you choose guys to date?”
I choose them based on how big their bank account is and how easy of a mark I think they’ll be.
Of course, I don’t say that.
I’m silent for a moment, contemplating my words before I finally reply, “When you’re old enough to date, choose a guy that makes you feel amazing. Someone who does things for you when you ask and even when you don’t. Someone who makes you feel safe. Someone who gives you butterflies but also makes you feel calm.”
“What you’re describing doesn’t sound human,” she says, no doubt thinking about the pre-teen boys in her class, boys that she’s frequently compared to ogres during some of my visits to her.
I laugh and agree. “Nope. Not in the slightest.” My face turns serious. “But you’re an amazing person, Mina, and if it’s up to me, you’ll never settle for less than you deserve, which is absolutely everything.”
She’s silent for a moment before she says, “You’re an amazing person, too, Minka.”
And darn it, my heart swells ten times its size, and I wish I could agree.
Instead, I paste a smile on my face and nod my head. “Thanks, Mina.”
“Are you going to tell my why you haven’t come to visit me?”
I hesitate, pondering what I should and shouldn’t tell her. “I can’t come visit you for a while, but I’ll try to as soon as I can. I promise. Just… there are people after Niccolaio and maybe me right now.”
She takes in my words, her eyes widening in concern, but she doesn’t voice it. That’s the somber reality of our lives. I can’t remember a time when one of us hasn’t been at risk in one way or another, whether it be from one of our parents, eviction, starvation, Social Services, and so on.
“Minka, do you feel safe right now?”
I nod my head emphatically. “Yes.”
That’s not a lie, either. Even though some ridiculous things have happened to me lately, I do feel safe. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and free time to study for my LSATs. And as reluctant as I am to admit it, I trust Niccolaio to keep us both safe.
“Do you feel calm right now?”
I give her a weird look. “Yes…”
“Did you ask Niccolaio to get us tablets?”
“No, he did that on his own.”
“And when you hugged him, did you feel butterflies?”
Yes. “Mina, what are you going on about? You’re being weird.”
“How are my questions weird? It’s your checklist.”
My jaw drops, because she’s right.
Holy cow. Niccolaio checks off every box on my list.
And I don’t know how I feel about that.