Chapter Forty-One
Forgiveness is giving up
the hope that the past could
have been any different.
Oprah Winfrey
When I’m dressed, I find Niccolaio in the office of his brownstone, staring up at a stray fleck of paint on the ceiling.
“What are you looking at?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he says, a cute and carefree grin on his face. “I just… I used to be so angry.”
I know what that feels like. Sometimes, I wonder—how had I been so angry? And how did that anger leave me? But standing next to Niccolaio, I realize that it was the calm that managed to extinguish the fury in me, and that calm I found in Niccolaio’s arms, by intertwining my soul with his.
He turns to look at me, his gaze darkening as his takes in my curves under the tight Emerald green cocktail dress I’m wearing. “Ready to go?”
I nod, and together, we go to pick Mina up. When we enter the group home, I feel the stares of everyone around us. Parents, siblings, children, and staff all stop to stare at Niccolaio, some in interest but most in fear.
“Stop,” I whisper out of the side of my mouth.
“Stop what?”
“That look. You’re scaring people.”
“What look?”
“The one that says you’ll kill anyone who touches me.”
If anything, his eyes darken further. “But I will kill anyone who touches you.”
“They’re children,” I say, exasperated.
“Not all of them.” At my look, he sighs and pastes an alarmingly handsome smile on his face. “Fine.”
His smile is beautiful and attracting way too much female attention, so groan and say, “That’s even worse.”
“Jealous?” His eyes glint in amusement and satisfaction.
I sigh. “There’s no winning with you.”
He leans into my ear. “I beg to differ. You sounded quite victorious last night when you were coming around my cock and calling me your god.”
I playfully shove him away from me with a laugh, opening the door to Mina’s hall after we sign in.
When she sees us, Mina screams, “Niccolaio!”, basically ignoring me completely.
I roll my eyes, a small smile on my face as Niccolaio goes to hug her. Mina is obsessed with him, and I think he’s taken my place as her favorite person in the world, but I don’t mind. As Mina talks animatedly with Niccolaio, Erica finds me and walks beside me, watching the scene with a smile on her face.
“She’s been happy lately. Have you noticed?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, watching Mina’s bright smile.
It reaches her eyes, causing them to shine.
“You don’t like me much, do you?” Erica asks, confronting me about this for the first time in our four years of knowing each other.
“I used to not like you.”
“And now?”
“I’m learning to forgive.”
There seems to be a lot of that going around lately.
“I’m not a bad person, you know.”
I nod, because I do know that. Maybe not back then, but I see things more clearly now. I’m not as angry as I used to be. I’ve quit gold digging for good, and I’ve put a hiatus on law school until I’m sure that I know that becoming a lawyer is what I want to do with my life. Asher offered me an internship in any division of his company as a way to figure out what I like and dislike, and I think I’m going to take him up on that offer.
Beside me, Erica says, “I used to be in foster care.”
My eyes widen at that tidbit of information, because I always assumed she came from money. As a social worker, she probably gets paid poorly, but she’s always dressed well—with Hermés Birkin bags, Louboutin heels, designer clothing and diamond-embedded jewelry.
She continues, “But when I was your sister’s age, a family took me in. They had money but no amount of money in the world could get my adoptive mother pregnant, so they adopted me. And I was this girl who didn’t care for it. Who was jaded from the world and hell bent on pushing everyone away, even if they were trying to help me. It took a while for me to grow up, and I needed a lot of help from my parents and friends to do so, but I finally did. And now, I’m happy. Every day, I’m happier than the last.” She turns to face me. “When I met you, Minka, you were just like the younger me. Jaded. Pissed off at the world. But now, you’re different. You’re happy. Good for you.”
And with that, she walks off.
The problem with raising yourself? You grow up fast, but you don’t grow up completely. And as I stood there and listened to Erica talk, I confirmed what I already suspected—that maybe I’ve finally grown up. That maybe I’m finally evolving.
“What she say?” Niccolaio asks, cautiously approaching me.
I smile at him. “Nothing I didn’t already know.”
With Niccolaio pushing Mina’s wheelchair into the handicap accessible van Niccolaio bought for when we take Mina out, which is every weekend, the three of head towards Mina’s school. Mina leaves us to head back stage, and Niccolaio and I find a seat in the front row beside Bastian; Asher; Lucy; and hell, even Aimee.
I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to make the transition from mother slash sister duo to only being Mina’s sister, but I have. And as the curtains pull back and Mina nails her first lines a few minutes later, I realize that I may not know what I’m going to do with my life, but I know that, whatever I do, I’ll have my family—Niccolaio, Asher, Lucy, Aimee, Bastian, and Mina—by my side.
I lean into Niccolaio’s ear and whisper, “I was right when I said we were going to be happy.”