Karmen
“I swear to God, if you don’t sit still, I am going to rip all your eyelashes out with the curler. Calm your tits, woman,” Nikki scolded as she put the finishing touches on my makeup.
We arrived at my house forty-five minutes ago, and we had been going non-stop. I had jumped in the shower as Nikki ransacked my closet looking for something to wear tonight. I had no idea what she was going to find. I knew I had to dress differently this evening, but I also knew my closet was lacking. If I wasn’t at work in my scrubs, I was curled up on my couch wearing yoga pants and reading.
“Sorry, it’s just that he’s going to be here any minute, and I’m going crazy.”
“Just stop freaking out about it, and just go with whatever he wants to do. Did he say what you guys were going to do tonight?” Nikki gave me one last look, scanning the miracle job she had just done on my face.
“Um, we’re just going to the fireworks. He didn’t mention anything else.” I glanced in the mirror as Nikki walked over to my closet, and I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. “Holy shit, that can’t be me.”
“Ha! Better believe that chick is you, babe. I’ve known all along what a babe you are under those scrubs every day.”
“Please, I am anything but a babe.”
“That’s why I’m down with you going out with Nickel. I believe that man is just what you need to make you see just what you are. Your witch of a grandma needs to be shot for making you doubt yourself so much.” Nikki pulled out my favorite pair of jeans, tossing them over her shoulder at me and continued looking for a shirt.
“You gonna bring my grandma back from the dead to shoot?”
“Phft, in a heartbeat. That woman was stone cold.” Nikki threw her hands up in the air and turned around. “How the hell do you not have anything sexy to wear?”
“Because I have nowhere to go that requires sexy. I work. That’s it.”
“Well, thank God you at least have a pair of jeans that give you a shape that isn’t baggy. Put those on, and I’ll see what I can find that doesn’t look like it’s been washed fifty times.”
I walked into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked so I could listen to Nikki’s rambling. “I just bought a couple of new t-shirts the other day. They are in the top drawer of my dresser.” I shimmied out of my scrub bottoms and worked the jeans up my legs. They were boot cut and fit me like a dream.
“Hmm, this will have to do. Thank God, you, at least, bought woman’s cut t-shirts and not baggy men's.” Nikki reached into the bathroom, the t-shirt hanging from her fingertips. I grabbed it and tossed it on the counter.
“Am I just leaving my hair down?” I glanced in the mirror, taking in my dark, chocolate brown hair.
“Hell yeah. I don’t know how you have such soft, full, bouncy hair. If I didn’t like you so much, I’d hate you for it.”
“My hair is all I have going for me. Now out.” I pushed the door shut and pulled off my top.
“I’m gonna look for shoes. You better have some good ones, or I’m calling it a wash and you a lost cause!” Nikki yelled.
I shook my head, laughing, and pulled the black V-neck t-shirt over my head. Nikki was going to be pleasantly surprised when she saw my unhealthy obsession with shoes. It was my guilty pleasure that I kept to myself. I smoothed my shirt down, thankful I had at least invested in some sexy bras and panties. Not that Nickel was going to see them. I think.
“Sweet mother of God, where have you been hiding all of these shoes?” Nikki exclaimed from my bedroom. I slipped out of the bathroom and saw Nikki in the middle of the floor with all my shoe boxes strewn around her.
“In my closet.” I stood over her with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Oh, my God, none of these have ever been worn! What is wrong with you? This is a crime against the shoe gods!” Nikki cried, outraged.
“I like cute shoes, I just never have anywhere to wear them.”
“Girl, these shoes are not cute. They. Are. Gorgeous.” Nikki held up my favorite pair of purple sling backs and beamed up at me. “Can I please try these on? I will love you forever.”
“Have at it. Just be careful on the rug in the living room, I always trip over it whenever I have them on.” I reached to the left of her and picked up a pair of black flats.
“Are you kidding me?” Nikki said, kicking the boxes out of her way and then slipping on the purple shoes. “All of these shoes you have and you are going with the most grandma-looking ones.” She curled her lip up in disgust as I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder.
“We’re going to the fireworks. I can’t wear four-inch heels in the grass. I’d fall on my face, and then he would have to carry me everywhere.”
“And that would be a problem because?” Nikki waved her hands in front of her and laughed.
“Because I don’t need anyone to take care of me, that’s why.”
Nikki stood up, wobbling a bit and walked over to the full-size mirror I had rested against the wall. “One day, Karmen, you are going to need someone. I know you had a shitty childhood, and it taught you not to rely on anyone, but there are good people in this world who will help you and not ask for anything in return.”
Nikki told me this all the time, but I didn’t believe it. No matter the person, they are always looking to get something. “I think you are the only person I can say that is true about.”
“That’s because I’m awesome.” Nikki winked at me and moved down the hall to the living room.
My one-bedroom apartment was small, but it was home. With a small kitchen, somewhat large living room, and one bathroom, it was perfect for me.
I adjusted my purse and looked in the mirror.
I was plain and ordinary and would more than likely fade into the background with Nickel. What he saw in me, I was blind to.
“Karmen! He’s here!”
I gave myself one last glance in the mirror and slipped down the hall to Nikki. “Would you stop peering out the window like some psycho? I thought you said you were going to hide when he got here?”
I tried nudging Nikki out of the window, but she refused to move. “Shh, can we please just take a moment to recognize the smoking hotness that is Nickel Cunningham and thank his momma for bringing him into this world?”
I caught a glimpse of Nickel as he walked to the front door of my building and had to agree with Nikki. He was one fine specimen of a man. His jeans fit immaculately, tight in the thighs and widened out at the leg encasing his perfectness. He was wearing a light blue t-shirt with the Fallen Lords logo stretched across his back. His dark brown hair was windblown, and it begged for me to run my fingers through it.
“Sweet mercy, can that man be any sexier? I think I just came.”
“Nikki!” I screeched, pushing her out of the window. “You’re freaking crazy! Hide in the bathroom. I’m afraid to have you in the same room as him when he comes in. You might jump him.”
Nikki moved down the hallway, turning halfway. “If anyone is going to jump that man, Karmen, it’s going to be you.” She sprinted the rest of the way back to the window and peeked out at Nickel again. “Oh, man. I need to check my panties.”
I grabbed a throw pillow off the couch and tossed it at Nikki as she raced down the hall. “God dammit, Nikki. Your ass better stay in that bathroom until I leave.”
“You won’t hear a peep out of me,” she promised, shutting the door.
I looked around my apartment, trying to find a place to hide when there was a knock on the door. Crap! I froze, staring at the door. He knocked again, but my feet felt like they were glued to the floor.
“Psst!” I turned my head to the hallway and saw Nikki sticking her head out. “Answer the door,” she hissed at me.
“I can’t!” I whispered back.
“Oh, my God, I’ll—” Nikki started but stopped when another knock sounded.
“I know you’re in there, Karmen. I can hear you talking to your girl,” Nickel called through the door. Nikki waved her hands at me and ducked back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
“Baby girl, open the door,” he called again, his voice soothing and hypnotic.
My feet came unstuck from the floor, and I slowly walked to the door. My hand grabbed the knob, but I didn’t twist it. I needed to get a grip. Nickel was just a man I was going on a date with. Something I had done tons of times before.
Okay, well, maybe not tons of times, more like five times. Or was it only four? Ugh, thinking about my almost non-existent dating life was not helping. I twisted the handle and stepped back, pulling the door open.
Holy shit. Nickel looked even better up close. “Hey,” he said, winking at me. Oh my, I think I needed to check my panties like Nikki.
“Hi,” I wheezed out.
“Good, you didn’t wear heels,” Nickel said, his gaze traveling up my body. I glanced down at my feet. I couldn’t even remember putting my shoes on.
“Ugh, I didn’t think heels would be good on grass.”
“Right on, baby. You ready to go? I got Maniac holding a spot for us right now. The park filled up a lot faster than I thought it would.”
“Um, yeah. I think I’m ready.” I glanced around my living room, hoping a big hole would open and swallow me up. The bathroom door was cracked, and I knew it was taking all of Nikki’s will power not to open the door and walk out here.
Nickel grabbed my hand, turning my body back toward him. “Come on, baby, if you don’t have it right now, you don’t need it.” He pulled me out the door and slammed it shut behind us. “Keys?” he asked, holding his hand out.
I numbly dug through my purse and gave him the keys. He grabbed them and made quick work of locking the door and then dropping them into my bag I was still holding open. “I know your girl is in there, but you can never be too safe.” He was still holding onto my hand, and he tugged me behind him down the stairs and out the door, never letting go.
“I’ve never been on a motorcycle,” I said dumbly, watching Nickel grab a helmet and hold it out to me.
“First time for everything, baby. Stick with me, and I won’t let anything happen to you. Just strap this on and climb on behind me.”
I grabbed the helmet out of his hand and quickly put it on, buckling the chin strap. Nickel swung his leg over the seat gracefully, obviously have ridden thousands of times before. I scrambled on behind him, surprised I didn’t kick him in the back or catapult myself off the other side.
“Just hold on tight,” Nickel reached behind him and grabbed my arms, wrapping them around his waist, “and lean with me in the turns.”
I clutched to him, confident I could hold on but doubtful about the leaning with him. I hoped I didn’t make him crash. He started the engine, the bike coming to life underneath us, rumbling and vibrating me to my core.
He kicked up the kickstand, and I realized I was about to go for my first motorcycle ride. I was putting my life into the hands of this man who I barely knew anything about, and I was surprisingly calm about it. Don’t get me wrong, I was terrified, but I figured the best person to go with the first time was probably someone who had ridden a motorcycle more than they have walked.
I squealed as he took off and buried my head in his back, not wanting to see. His body shook, and I knew he was laughing at me. We drove for five minutes before I finally opened my eyes and peeked over his shoulder. The familiar streets that I had turned down numerous times before were speeding by in a blur, and the wind was blowing my hair out behind me.
Nickel maneuvered turns and corners with ease, and by the time we made it to the park, I almost wished that we didn’t have to stop. Almost.
“You get off first, baby,” Nickel ordered. I awkwardly slid off, my legs feeling like Jell-O underneath me. Nickel reached out for me right before my legs gave out. “Easy,” he chuckled, pulling my body close to him.
“I’m fine,” I whispered, trying to push away from him.
“I know you are, baby. That’s why I’ve been chasing you for a year.” He winked at me and slid one arm around my waist. We started walking toward the huge crowd of people who were all over the park.
I was speechless and had no idea what to say. Had Nickel been chasing me for a year? I thought he was just kind to me because he was a nice guy. I mean, I knew he had a bad boy side to him, but I figured he was friendly because I was taking care of his grandma. “Um, is your friend going to watch the fireworks with us?”
“Nah, Maniac is gonna be lighting them off and blowing shit up. He lives for this shit.” We snaked our way through the crowd, dodging large groups of people who were camped out on big blankets. “When did you say was the last time you came to the fireworks?”
“Um, I was seventeen. I think it was only the second year they organized Shake the Lake. There was maybe a quarter of the people there that are here now. This is insane,” I mumbled. Nickel went left to go around a group of people, but one guy backed up into me, knocking my hand out of Nickel’s, and I stumbled backward.
“Hey! Watch it!” a girl screeched at me as I stepped on their blanket.
I started to mumble an apology when I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind. “She got pushed. It wasn’t her fault,” Nickel thundered at the girl.
The girl who was ready to scratch my eyes out for stepping on her blanket seconds ago now looked up at Nickel with lust in her eyes, and I could tell I didn’t even register with her anymore.
“It’s okay. She can’t help it she’s clumsy,” the girl said, brushing off the blanket I had stepped on. “There’s plenty of room on my blanket if you want to sit with me. There're no other places to sit.” She batted her eyes at him, and I swear to God, pouted her lips. This was almost comical.
“I think your boyfriend sitting next to you might have something to say about that.” Nickel nodded his head at the guy who was sitting next to the girl. She didn’t even look ashamed at the fact that she had just hit on another guy when her boyfriend was with her.
“He’s just my date for the night,” she stuttered, her eyes not leaving Nickel.
“Either way, I’m not interested.” He pulled away from me, his hand trailing around my waist, and grabbed my hand, tugging me behind him once again. I glanced back at the girl who was pouting her lips and giving me the evil eye. I shrugged at her and continued following Nickel.
“We’re just on the other side of the lake.” I stuck close behind Nickel, careful not to get knocked into anyone, and we finally made it to the spot he had saved for us. There was a tall guy standing guard at the edge of the blanket; his arms were crossed over his chest as he talked to a short blonde who had tight shorts and a crop top on. Her breasts overflowed out of her top, and she was leaning on his arm, rubbing against him.
“This is us.” Nickel pulled me close again, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Yo, Maniac,” he called, getting his attention. Maniac and the girl turned to us, each of them looking me over. I got the sense of approval from Maniac, but the woman looked puzzled as her gaze bounced between Nickel and me.
“I gotta head back. You good, Nick?” Maniac asked, picking up a bag next to his feet.
“All right, brother.” Nickel kneeled on the blanket and held his hand out for me to follow. I glanced at Maniac’s retreating back with the blonde following him close behind.
I kneeled down next to Nickel. “Um, I’ll sit over here.” I crawled over to the other side of the large blanket, trying to put as much distance between us as possible.
“Did you eat dinner?” Nickel grabbed a small cooler from the corner of the blanket and flipped it. He pulled out two sandwiches, a container of something, and two beers. My stomach growled as he unwrapped a sandwich and ripped off a bite. “I’ll take that as a no,” he chuckled, handing me a sandwich.
I sat down and opened the package, inhaling half of it without actually tasting it. I hadn’t eaten since eleven o’clock that morning, and it was going on seven-thirty. Hungry was an understatement at this point.
“So, how long have you worked at the nursing home?” Nickel popped open the top of one of the beers and handed it to me.
“Um, a little over four years. Thank you,” I mumbled, grabbing the bottle from him.
“You like working there?”
Hmm, did I like working there? It was a job, but I could honestly say that I did enjoy being there every day. It felt like I was making a difference, no matter how small it was. “I do. I love getting to know all the patients and spending time with them. Some of them feel like grandparents to me.”
“Do you have any? Grandparents, I mean.”
“Um, no. I don’t have any family. My father is in prison, and my grandma died over a year ago.”
“What about your mom?”
“She left when I was barely one. She decided being single and childless was a better suit for her.”
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay. It’s hard to miss something you never really had.”
We sat in silence as we both ate. I could tell Nickel’s eyes were trained on me, but I kept my eyes everywhere else but on him.
Nickel stretched out on the blanket, his elbows propping him up, and crossed his legs at the ankles. “How come you always avoid me whenever I visit my grandma?”
I folded my hands in my lap and stared down at them. “I don’t avoid you. I know you are there to visit with your grandma, and I don’t want to interrupt.” That was the partial truth. The other half of the truth was I never knew what to say when he talked to me. I was a bubbling mess around him.
“I can tell you right now, Nan is only half of the reason I come once a week.”
“Do I want to know what the other reason is?”
“It’s you, Karmen. There’s something about you that won’t let me stay away.”
“Were you drinking before you came to pick me up, Nickel? You’re talking crazy right now. There is nothing about me that would make you want to stay.”
“I think that’s the ultimate turn on for me, baby. The fact that you have no idea how sexy you are and how much I want to take off all your clothes right now and have my way with you. The only way you could call me crazy is because you drive me crazy with your sweet, sexy innocence.”
I ducked my head down, embarrassed by what he was saying. None of this made sense right now. “You’re crazy,” I mumbled.
“Just for you. Now scoot on over here and watch these fireworks with me.” He patted the spot next to him, beckoning me to lay down there.
“I can see them just fine from here,” I insisted. I looked up at the darkening sky. It would only be a matter of minutes before they started the fireworks. I squealed when Nickel grabbed both of my legs and yanked me over to him.
“I don’t like to say things twice, baby. I want you in my arms while we watch the fireworks,” he growled low before grabbing another blanket he had rolled up and laid down, shoving it under his head. “Lay your sweet ass down, before I make you.”
His aggressiveness should have scared me, but I hesitantly laid down next to him and rested my head on his outstretched arm. “I’m gonna have to show you what you are, baby. You are so much more than what you think.”
I glanced up at him; his head turned down to look at me. “I’ve seen the same thing my whole life, Nickel.”
“And what’s that you see?”
“Nobody. There’s nothing to see.”
He reached over, tilting my chin up. “You are the furthest thing from nothing, baby. Whoever told you that growing up was dead wrong.”
“You don’t even know me,” I whispered.
“I’ve watched you for a year. I know more about you than most. I see the gentle way you talk to all the patients. How you always check on my grandma when I’m there. Even if you don’t come in the room, I see you walk by, making sure everything is okay. I know when you’re upset, you run your fingers through your hair and twist the ends. When you’re happy, you have a smile that lights up the room, making everyone else happy. I see you, Karmen. Everything you think is missing, is shining through. Bright like the sun.” He leaned down, his lips a breath away. “You’ve become my sun this past year, and you didn’t even know it.”
“I…I…”
“Shh, baby. You don’t need to say anything. Just let that sink in. Everything I said, you are going to start believing.” He closed the gap between us, his lips brushing against mine.
I moaned under the light pressure of his touch. His lips were warm and soft while his body pressed against my side was hard and unyielding. His mouth claimed mine, taking what I wasn’t even sure I was ready to give.
I reached up, threading my fingers through his hair and held on, not wanting to let go. He coaxed my lips open, sliding his tongue in.
“Whoa, sorry dude,” I heard mumbled from above right before someone came crashing down on us.
“What the fuck?!” Nickel pushed the guy off us and pulled away from me. I sat up, patting down my hair, and tried to figure out what the hell I had been thinking ten seconds ago. What the hell made me make out like a teenager in the middle of a crowded field surrounded by people. Nickel was pissed off we had been interrupted, but it was exactly what I needed to bring me back to reality.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nickel thundered, standing up.
The guy who had fallen on us scrambled backward like a crab trying to get away from Nickel. I glanced around and found everyone watching. Nickel grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet. “I’m sorry, man! I didn’t see y’all there, I swear!” He held his hands up in surrender, his eyes filled with fear.
“Next time, open your eyes when you’re walking, asshole. You could have hurt someone.” Nickel tightened his grip on the guy’s shirt and shook him.
“I will…I will totally…I totally will,” the man stuttered.
Nickel shook his head and pushed him away. He stumbled backward, almost falling onto someone else’s blanket but righted himself before he fell. He scurried away, looking over his shoulder at Nickel the whole time, making sure he wasn’t being chased.
“What the hell was that?” I whirled around, trying to see who was talking. A tall guy with a leather cut like the one I had seen Nickel wear before walked up to us with two guys following close behind. I tried to see their patches with their names on them, but I couldn’t make any of them out.
“Some drunk ass fell on Karmen and me. I don’t think he meant to do it, but maybe Clash could follow him for a bit.”
“Clash, see what that hippie is up to.” The guy turned towards me, and I saw his name was Wrecker. The man who I assumed was Clash sauntered off in the direction of the drunk guy, and I turned my attention back to Nickel.
“You sure it wasn’t anything?” Wrecker asked.
Nickel ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head. “I’m sure. I could smell the booze on the guy’s breath.”
“All right,” Wrecker inclined his head and stuck his hands in his pockets. “This place is fucking packed. You think we could sit with you?”
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Nickel cursed.
Wrecker held his hands up and chuckled. “Not trying to cock block, brother, just ain’t got anywhere else to go.”
“You mind, baby girl?” Nickel asked. All eyes turned to me, and I nervously patted down my hair, fidgeting.
“I don’t mind.”
“At least, your date has more manners than you.” Wrecker slapped him on the head and sat on the other end of the blanket. Thankfully, Nickel had put down a big blanket because with three big guys and me, it was full.
Nickel wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. “I’m sorry, baby. This isn’t how I imagined this night to go,” he whispered into my ear.
“It’s okay,” I quietly replied. I turned my head, looking up at him and smiled.
His lips descended on mine, and he stole a quick kiss. “I knew you were special.” He kissed me one last time, his lips lingering. I could tell he wanted more and so did I. “You live with your girl?”
“Um, what?” I asked, dazed from his kiss.
“Your friend from work…you live with her? I heard her in your apartment before I knocked.”
“Oh, Nikki, you mean. No, she just came over after work for a second,” I lied.
“Good.”
“Yo, you got any beer left?” the guy who Nickel hadn’t introduced yet asked.
Nickel pulled away, his eyes not leaving mine. “Check the bottom of the cooler.”
“Nice,” he mumbled. I heard him dig through the cooler. “So, you gonna introduce us to your girl, or you just gonna be an ass?”
Nickel shook his head and laughed. He tore his eyes off me and looked at his friends. “I’m pretty sure Karmen doesn’t need to know you two assholes.”
“Hey, Slayer here resembles that remark,” Wrecker laughed.
“Ha ha, yuk it up, dipshits.” Slayer grabbed three beers out of the cooler and handed them out.
“That asshole with his hand in the cooler is Slayer.” Slayer smirked at me and took a long pull off his beer. “And that guy sitting next to you is Wrecker. He’s the president of the Fallen Lords.”
Oh, crap. I was sitting next to the president of the club. I had no idea what to say or do. “Hey,” I croaked out, lamely waving at them.
Wrecker threw his head back and laughed while Slayer smirked at me. “How the hell did you manage to get this sweet girl to agree to go out with you?”
“Wasn’t fucking easy. It took me a year and about one hundred dollars in donuts,” Nickel laughed, smiling down at me.
“You made him wait a year, darlin’?”
My face heated, and I buried my face into Nickel’s chest. “She totally made him wait. Son of a bitch, I think I like this one,” Wrecker laughed.
“Shut the fuck up and watch the fireworks,” Nickel said, annoyed. “You okay, baby? I can tell these guys to leave, if you want.”
I shook my head no, not wanting Nickel to have to choose between his friends and me. “I’m okay. I just didn’t expect them to ask that.”
“Yeah, these assholes don’t have any manners. You’ll get used to it.” He brushed a quick kiss on my lips and laid back down on the edge of the blanket. He stretched his arm out again, and I put my head on it, curling into his body.
Wrecker and Slayer leaned back, drinking beer and talking.
A loud boom sounded, making me jump. “What the hell was that?”
“That would be Maniac. He always does a countdown. I bet he’ll do one each minute until the fireworks start.”
“He scared the crap out of me,” I laughed, realizing I had thrown my leg over Nickel and was holding on tightly to him.
“I’ll keep you safe, baby,” Nickel promised.
I rested my head back on his arm and prayed to god I was ready for whatever came my way.
**********