The phone rings once before the oak door flies open again and Winnie reappears on the porch. Her cheeks are flushed, with what I can only assume is anger, but the look in her eyes is something else. Panic?

“Hang up,” she demands as it rings a second time in my ear. She steps up to the screen. “Please hang up.”

I hang up. She sighs so loudly in relief I can hear her down where I am. What the hell is up with this girl? I’m confused, even kind of annoyed, but also concerned. I take a step closer, toward the porch as she buries her face in her hands to muffle some sort of strangle cry sound she’s making.

“Winnie?” I say tentatively. “You want to stop being a hot mess and tell me what’s going on? Then you can just be hot, without the mess part.”

She looks startled by my remark, but it manages to wipe the scowl off her face.

“My brother is saving the family once again,” she announces, dropping her hands from her face. “Dixie wants to get married here next summer so he’s fixing the place up. They’re my dad’s plans and Jude is taking it upon himself to see that they get done, finally. Of course he is, because Jude thinks it’ll help. Jude is a fucking fixer.”

“Okay…” I assess her words. It sounds like she might be mad at Jude. Or her dad? Or life in general. Definitely that last one. For the first time since I moved back, I kind of wish I was a little bit more in the loop of this little town so I would know for sure. This town may be small but it’s big on gossip. “But you don’t want me here?”

“Of course I don’t!” she declares like I’m crazy to even ask. She runs her hands through her hair, but it does nothing to tame the mess it’s in. “You were a complete bag of ass toward me my entire life.”

“That’s true,” I agree, and she freezes and blinks. “I didn’t know you’d be here. If Jude had told me that, I wouldn’t have asked to set my trailer here. I might not have even taken the job.”

“Because why would you want to hang around Larry from the Three Stooges, right?” she snaps.

“No. Because I know I was an ass to you and I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own home,” I reply and once again she looks shocked. “I’m an adult now, Winnie. I’m not that much of an asshole anymore. I just want to do this job, and living on site makes it much easier.”

I can tell she doesn’t believe me, not fully. Probably because she doesn’t trust me and that’s fair. I’ve been back in her world for about fifteen minutes and her memories—wounds, really—have been reopened. But my memories of her are coming back full force too, and I didn’t tease her because I hated her. I liked pushing her buttons. Teenage Winnie was beautiful but timid, and annoying her or insulting her brought out a fire in her…I liked it. Until she broke my nose. But something has to give here. Either she lets me stay and do this job, or I call Jude and tell him what’s going on and why I can’t. I am not just going to bail on him. And my only hope is he talks her into leaving or letting me stay, because I need this job.

“Look, I don’t want to upset you, but if you keep insisting I leave, I have to call your brother because he’s the one that hired me and quite frankly,” I pause, “he’s the only one who can fire me. I don’t have anywhere else to go. I made plans based on this job.”

Her expression softens. When she sighs this time it’s definitely more resignation than anger. “Fine. You can stay and do whatever it is you’re going to do as long as you can work around me. Because I’m staying here. I have to because…this is where I want to be.”

Okay, that makes very little sense but whatever. “I can try to work around you, but it’s going to be loud and dusty.”

“Great.” She replies with nothing but sarcasm. She turns to head back into the house but pauses and glances at me over her shoulder. “If you tell Jude I’m here, I will make your life a living hell. And I’ll enjoy it. Like I said, he’s a fixer and I don’t want him rushing over here and trying to fix me.”

She heads back inside and slams the oak door again.

What the hell have I accidentally walked into? Jesus, this is not the Winnie Braddock I knew as a kid. This woman…well she’s beautiful but she’s clearly broken. Like in a million pieces and I have no idea why.

My phone rings. I look at it in my hand and see Jude’s name on the screen. I hold my breath and hit accept. “Hey, buddy! I just got to your place.”

“Is everything all right?”

Umm…not really. Your sister is here and she’s kind of spinning out of control.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because you called me,” he replies, his voice confused and sleepy. “Like a couple minutes ago.”

“I did?” I lie like I’ve always lied, perfectly. “Shit. I must have pocket dialed you or something. Sorry about that! I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“I have a toddler. I haven’t slept since he was born. No worries,” Jude jokes easily. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You have a kid, huh?” I say. Jude didn’t mention personal stuff when he called me yesterday. He just said he saw my flyer by the grocery store and recognized my name. He said he wanted a guy he could trust working on the place. That made me feel great. But then again Jude always trusted me, even when I was untrustworthy.

“Yeah, he’s the best,” Jude replies. “And I married the most incredible woman. Zoey Quinlin. You remember her?”

Zoey Quinlin? The hot redheaded pastor’s daughter Jude and just about every other guy had a crush on. “Seriously? Yeah, I remember her. She was a great girl.”

“So are you starting work today or tomorrow?” Jude asks again.

“Probably tomorrow,” I explain. “I just set the trailer up and I’m going to do a walk through later today. Will likely start in the kitchen.”

“Cool.” Jude sounds nervous. “Keep me posted, okay? The place is ancient and you’re bound to run into unexpected problems.”

“I’ve been working on renovations for years now. I’ve seen it all,” I tell him as I walk around to the door of my trailer and unlock it. “Besides, your family takes really good care of this place. I’m sure it’ll go smoothly. Does the rest of the family know about this or are you surprising them?”

“It’s not exactly a surprise, but I haven’t really mentioned the details of what I’m doing to my family,” Jude explains, which is why Winnie was thrown for a loop. “And I haven’t mentioned that I’ve hired someone to start on it.”

So that’s why Winnie doesn’t know. But why doesn’t she want him to know she’s here? “So what are your sisters up to these days anyway?”

“Dixie and Sadie both live here in San Fran. Dixie is dating our goalie and works for the ALS Foundation. They just got engaged, God help him.” He chuckles. “Sadie is a nurse. She’s dating one of our coaches.”

“Is Winnie dating one of your trainers or something?” I say jokingly.

“Thank the hockey gods, no,” Jude replies and lets out a heavy breath on the other end of the phone. “She’s had the same boyfriend for like a decade. A Toronto guy. She lived here for a while, but just moved back there.”

Huh. I feel a little let down that she has a boyfriend, which is weird.

“So how is your family? Bradie? Your dad?” Jude says bringing my attention back to the conversation.

“My dad is remarried and lives in Florida,” I explain. “We haven’t really been in touch since I got out of juvie. Bradie is here in Maine and has a kid. I’m trying to get back into her life. Honestly, we were never really close, but I want to change that. I’ve been trying to fix all the stuff I fucked up when I was a kid. People hold grudges. I’m actually surprised you would offer me this job. Grateful, but surprised.”

“Dude, I’m not judging you for acting like a punk when we were kids,” he says easily and it makes me feel a wave of relief. Someone gets it. “Losing a parent destroys you no matter what age. And you were ten when your mom died and had zero support. I’m not holding that against you.”

I appreciate him saying that. It really is a devastating thing to lose your mom at ten like I did. The whole world ends before it even began.

“If people didn’t give me second chances I wouldn’t be married to Zoey, and I wouldn’t have my incredible son.”

“Thanks, man. I won’t let you down,” I promise.

“I’m counting on it. Okay, well I’m going to go back to sleep while Zoey makes Declan breakfast,” Jude explains and he lets out a sheepish chuckle. “Don’t forget to keep me posted. I’m fucking nervous as hell about this.”

“I promise it’ll be fine,” I assure him. “I’ll treat it like it’s my own place.”

“I know you will. That’s why I picked you for the job,” Jude replies. “Later, Holden.”

He ends the call and I stick my phone in my back pocket and head into my trailer to make sure everything survived the trip. Nothing is out of place. I dig my Ray-Bans out of the junk drawer in my kitchen and shove them on and decide to head out for a walk, maybe grab some coffee. Then in a few hours, instead of using the key Jude gave me, I’ll knock politely on the door and tell Winnie I need to do a walk-through. Hopefully she’s in a better mood…or better yet, not even home.

I walk slowly down the side streets of this little Podunk town and let the sun warm my arms and the ocean air clear my lungs. I used to fucking hate this place after my mom died. It felt like a prison, which is why when I got out of actual jail—well, juvenile detention—I moved away. I didn’t even care where I went; I just didn’t want to be here. But now there is nowhere I’d rather be, even though moving back here means having to prove myself and earn back people’s trust.

I open the door to Cannon’s Corner Grocery and the little bell jingles happily. Unfortunately, the happy smile on Cat Cannon’s face dissolves when she sees me. She gave me the same reaction the last two times I’ve come in. “What do you want?”

“World peace. A cure for cancer and a way to make you forgive me,” I reply bluntly as I take off my shades. “But I’ll probably have to settle for a coffee and a cinnamon bun.”

“I should ban you,” Cat says, her bright red lips set in a tight line as she crosses her arms. “But it’s the off-season and I can’t afford to turn away people. Even thieving assholes.”

“Thank God for that,” I mutter and head to the coffee station. I pour some hazelnut roast and add hazelnut creamer. Enough to cause a cavity but fuck it, it’s been a rough morning. I grab a strawberry milk out of the cooler and head to the counter where she’s already got my cinnamon bun waiting in a small bag. “You didn’t spit on it, did you?”

“I didn’t think of it,” she replies honestly and then gives me a humorless smirk. “But I will next time. Four bucks even. Hurry up and pay so I can kick you out.”

I pull a five from my wallet and hand it to her. She shoves it in the register and practically throws the dollar at me as I pick up my cinnamon bun. She watches me with angry blue eyes. “Why did you come back?”

“Because I realized people can’t know how sorry I am if I’m not here to tell them,” I explain. “And they won’t know I’ve changed if I don’t show them.”

“Wow. How selfish,” Cat barks back and I really wasn’t expecting that answer. “Maybe we don’t care if you’ve changed. Ever think of that? Maybe we just want to forget you ever existed.”

“Fuck, that’s harsh.” Her expression wavers, for just the slightest second, but then it goes back to angry.

“You convinced me to throw a party when my parents were out of town and then you stole from my house. I was grounded for half my junior year,” she says, still as angry as if it were yesterday. “You took my grandmother’s pearls, the only thing she left me, and pawned them.”

“I know,” I tell her. And sigh. “I also hurt your feelings. On purpose. I was a jerk.”

“And I don’t care if you’re a fucking angel now. I don’t like you,” Cat counters. “I’ll never like you. So I suggest you make the trek down to Hogan’s Market next time you need coffee or sustenance or anything. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.”

“Fair enough,” I say even though it doesn’t feel fair. I know I earned her anger. I am a little disheartened by how much damage I did at such a young age and how no one is letting it go. Literally no one. I knew coming home wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t think it would be this hard. I head to the door but pause before leaving. “For the record, I would put you out if you were on fire.”

“You’d piss on me?” She cocks a blond eyebrow.

Oh fuck, that’s not… “No I’d use water or a fire extinguisher. I just…forget it. Take care, Cat. I’ll try to stay out of your way this winter.”

I leave before I can make it worse or she can come up with another way to express her fury. I head up to the beach, sit on a bench and devour the bun and strawberry milk as my coffee cools. This was a treat my mom used to get me. I still love it. The tide is high and the waves are few and far between. There are very few people around. It’s such a dynamic shift from last week when the tourists were still here and the beach was packed. The first week of September and the second are like pre- and post-apocalypse when it comes to the amount of people in this town.

I knew it was going to be a lonely winter, but I’m beginning to realize it’s going to be a hostile one. I wasn’t banking on that. I toss the bag from my bun and the bottle from my milk in the trash can and pick up my coffee as I take off my shoes and make my way back to the Braddock house along the sand. I guess if it gets really lonely I could call Kidd. Maybe I can hang out with those guys again without being brought into whatever bullshit they’re involved in…Maybe they’ve changed? Even a little…Or I can just force Winnie Braddock to see me in a new light.

I laugh to myself at the improbability of that.