Holy shit, he is stripping,” Cat exclaims suddenly, pulling my attention from the lobster roll I’m devouring. I look up and follow the tilt of her head. “Check out at that body. He’s a work of art. Oh and speaking of art, tattoos! I love tattoos. Oh God, I hope he thinks this is a nude beach.”

Cat has no idea who he is, but I do. I recognized him instantly, even from this distance. And I find myself wishing he thought it was a nude beach too, which is why I’m blushing. Cat gets to her knees on our blanket, but I grab her arm. “What? I think I should introduce myself. I can offer him my lobster roll…or anything else he wants.”

“You know him,” I tell her. “That’s Holden Hendricks.”

Cat’s mouth drops open and her head spins around to look again, squinting as she examines him. He’s running directly at the ocean and he doesn’t slow down, even though I know the water must be frigid. It’s always cold. His muscular arms extend above his head and he dives into an oncoming wave.

“What the fuck.” Cat gasps. “Why does he get to be the hottest thing in this town? He’s a dick! Why can’t it be a nice, sweet boy who gets nearly naked on the beach and makes me want to give him my virtue and my lobster roll.”

Internally I ask the universe the same question, but out loud I say, “Never give up your lobster roll, Cat. To anyone.”

I take another bite of my own, but my eyes won’t leave the surf and as Holden emerges, dripping wet and gleaming in the late afternoon sun, I have to admit, he’s more decadent and satisfying than my meal. “I know my eyes are bad without my glasses, but how did you recognize him so quickly?”

I reach for my cream soda and take a sip. Holden dives into another wave. “He’s renovating my cottage.”

I can feel Cat’s disbelieving stare even though I’m not looking at her. “Right now? While you live in it?”

“Yep,” I say with a nod. “Jude hired him and I didn’t know.”

“Oh God, no wonder you’ve been coming by every day,” Cat says and pauses to take another bite of her own lobster roll. “I’d be avoiding my house too if he was in it. But then again, I’d probably stick around to make sure he doesn’t steal anything.”

“I trust him,” I reply without even thinking about it. I do. I know his reputation. I saw firsthand what Cat went through, but something in me wants to believe I can trust him.

“You think he’s changed?” Cat sounds absolutely astonished at the thought.

Holden body surfs a wave almost to the shore, then pops up, shakes the water from his hair and runs his hands through it. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him again, his body slick with water. He’d be slippery and his mouth would taste like salt.

“Winnie!” Cat’s sharp tone snaps my head toward her. She’s got an incredulous look all over her face. “You’re attracted to him.”

“I…I mean…” Why am I going to lie about this? “How could I not be? Look at him.”

Cat laughs at that but grows serious a second later. “So you think he’s changed? He’s not a thieving, borderline psychopath like he used to be?”

“Definitely not,” I reply. “He’s been kind of sweet to me. He helped me when I wiped out on my bike. And we had a really good…talk.”

Cat’s eyebrows jump at that. “Talk? You said that weird. Why?”

Because the talk was interrupted by our make-out session.

“Because it felt like I was really getting to know him and he wasn’t who I thought he was, but then Kidd showed up,” I explain as my eyes drift over to the ocean again. Holden is just standing there, his back to the shore, letting the waves crash around him. “Holden had been out drinking with him and swindling people at pool and so I wonder if I was wrong.”

“If he’s still buddies with Kidd then yeah, you’re wrong,” Cat says decisively as she crumples up the wrapper from her now demolished lobster roll. “That guy was, is and always will be trash. You know Kidd knocked up a girl I went to high school with but doesn’t do shit for her or the kid. He’s like an absentee dad but he lives with them. She can’t get him to change a diaper let alone pay some rent.”

Holden is walking out of the water now. I can’t stop my gaze from drifting straight down to his soaking wet underwear. It’s clinging tightly to his thighs and ass and the impressive bulge in the front. Desire ripples through me. I don’t know if he can feel my eyes on him, but he turns his head and looks right at us. His step falters for a moment and then his whole, wet, chiseled body shifts and he starts walking toward us instead of to his discarded belongings.

Cat grabs her bottle of root beer in one hand and her flip-flops in the other. “I don’t think he’s changed,” she announces. “And since he’s not renovating my house, I don’t have to talk to him. See you later. Remember, you promised to go out with me tonight.”

Cat turns away and starts up the beach toward the boardwalk. I watch her go and fight the urge to change my mind on the whole going out thing. She really wants a girls’ night and I really should try to do something other than drink and cry.

“Hey,” he says and I turn back to find him about a foot from me. Just standing there in his wet underwear like some kind of Baywatch extra. “Was that Cat Cannon with you?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

His eyes drop from mine and land on the small scrap of lobster roll still in my left hand. “Is that a lobster roll from her store?”

I nod again. He groans. It’s wanton and the sound creates a warm sensation between my legs. “God, those things are the best in the state. I fucking love the way they butter then grill the bun and don’t drown the lobster in mayo.”

Without even thinking about it, I hold out the remaining chunk. Those silver-blue eyes widen. “It’s all yours.”

He steps closer, now his perfect body is so close that when he leans forward to take the roll, I’m lightly sprinkled with ocean water from his hair and shoulders. He plucks it from my hand and pops it in his mouth and I’m greeted with another one of those shameless groans. So. Hot.

“You know you can buy your own. You don’t have to eat my scraps,” I tell him as I start to get up. Sitting here on the blanket with him right in front of me means my eyes are in line with his package. And that view combined with that groan is too much for my girl bits to take.

He reaches out to help me to my feet, but I ignore his outstretched hand and manage on my own. A disappointed expression drifts across his face but it’s gone in seconds and he shrugs. “Cat made it clear I’m not welcome at Cannon’s Corner Grocery.”

I’m torn between feeling sorry for him and completely understanding Cat’s point of view. I reach down and grab the blanket Cat and I were sitting on. “I should get going.”

“You headed back to the house?” he asks and runs a hand through his hair sending any remaining water droplets flying. My eyes follow one as it lands on his shoulder and starts a leisurely decent down his chest. “Water is back on in your place. Still have to use the trailer for showers for now, though, until the new one is installed.”

My mouth starts to water and all I can do is nod. He smiles and I’m worried he’s getting off on my getting off on his nearly nakedness. It makes me blush. “You know they make these things called swimsuits.”

“I’ve heard that rumor,” he replies with a smirk. “But the boxer briefs work in a pinch. You look a little warm yourself so you should try it.”

“You want me to swim in my underwear?” I raise a brow.

“I wouldn’t complain if you did,” he says. His voice is heavy and low like it was the other night in his trailer when we drunkenly kissed. However neither one of us is drunk…I don’t think.

“I like my underwear dry,” I declare and instantly regret it.

If this were a baseball game, I would have just served him the perfect pitch and of course he knocks it out of the park when he replies. “It’s more fun when it’s wet.”

The smile on his face is pure mischief and damn…my underwear is definitely not dry. “You’re a child,” I tell him, but I’m biting back a smile and he can see it so I turn and start toward the boardwalk.

I can feel his eyes on me as I go and it’s doing nothing to quell my overwhelming attraction to him. I know what I heard and saw the other night, after the make-out session when Kidd showed up. It should make me wary—and it does—when I think about it. But when I’m near him…when we’re just hanging out like we were just now—all of that concern disappears. I want to be close to him, not keep my distance.

As I reach the end of the boardwalk and start to slip my feet back into my flip-flops, I glance over my shoulder and find him walking toward me. His jeans are back on but the button is undone and he’s shirtless, carrying his shoes.

“You need to live a little,” he says as I start walking and he falls in step beside me.

“I’m living.”

“I’ll rephrase. You need to start having fun,” he says.

“You think swimming in the freezing cold ocean in my underwear would be fun?” I ask as we pass Cat’s store and I stop to grab my bike and put the blanket in the basket.

“I enjoyed it,” he says and glances at the door to the grocery store. I can’t tell if he’s nervous Cat will come out or he’s trying to decide whether to risk his life for his own lobster roll and go inside.

“I’m going out tonight,” I announce and that turns his attention, and his gaze, from the grocery store door. “Cat asked me to go out with her.”

I can’t tell if he looks impressed or concerned. He rubs his beard. “Where you guys heading?”

“No idea,” I reply because I don’t know. I didn’t ask.

He nods and we walk the rest of the way back to the cottage in silence. When we hit the driveway, he pauses near his trailer as I keep walking to tuck the bike in against the side of the house. “So are we ever going to talk about that kiss?” he asks.

Oh God. I stop at the foot of the stairs to the porch, and shield my eyes against the sun so I can look at him. He is so damn handsome and the look on his face is pure vulnerability again. He is just as uncomfortable about this as I am. So why is he bringing it up? I decide to let us both off the hook. “You’re acting like you’ve never made a drunken mistake before,” I say and give him a small shrug before climbing the stairs. “If you’re worried about what I’m thinking, don’t be. I’m not blaming you for it. Have a good night.”

I don’t give him a chance to respond because honestly, anything he could say will only make it more awkward. As I walk into the house, I look around and try to absorb all the changes. The whole ground floor looks bigger now with the wall down. I wonder if my dad would be excited to see it this way. He always planned on doing these renovations. My heart starts to ache again. God, I wish he were here. I take a shuddering breath and wipe the tears from my eyes and head upstairs to get ready to go out with Cat.

Four hours later, I’m sitting at a table by the plate-glass window at Riptide’s, a bar at the end of the pier in the next town over. Cat has just told me a story about her last Tinder date. “How many ex-girlfriends’ names were tattooed on him?’ I ask, trying not to laugh as I sip my piña colada.

“Fourteen!” Cat squeals, still clearly horrified by the experience. “But he told me not to worry, he had room for my name if I played my cards right.”

I almost choke on my drink. “Oh dear God.”

“I know, right?” Cat shakes her head. “So if a cute guy named Tony swipes right on you while you’re here, you’ve been warned.”

“I’m not on any dating apps and I don’t intend to be any time soon,” I say. “But thanks for the tip!”

“How long are you staying? Have you decided?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’m thinking about staying until spring. I have enough savings to get by.”

“Wow, really?” Cat looks stunned. “I’m telling you, it’s very boring and very lonely in the winter.”

“I know.” I take a sip of my drink and push my hair back over my shoulder. “I’m actually looking forward to that. I spent the last couple of years living with my sister and my parents again, with the rest of my family within walking distance. I need the alone time.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think you grasp how incredibly boring it will get,” she replies and sighs. “It really is a summer town and that’s the income that floats us through the winter. I can go two or three days and not have one person come into the shop.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t ban people then,” I say half jokingly. “I bet Holden would be in there every day for lobster rolls if you let him.”

“I’m not that desperate for cash,” Cat says tersely and finishes her drink in one big gulp. “Where’s Ginny?”

Just like with everyone in this town, Cat is on a first-name basis with the staff here. She waves at Ginny who comes right over with a big smile on her face. “Another?” Ginny asks. After Cat nods, she looks over to me. “How about you, sugar?”

I look at my almost empty glass. “What the hell.”

“Gin, before you go, explain to Winnie here why we hate Holden Hendricks,” Cat says.

Ginny, who was about to walk back to the bar to get our order, pauses and puts a hand on her hip. “I don’t hate him,” she announces and for a brief, fleeting moment I relax. I really just don’t want to hear bad things about him, which is crazy because I shouldn’t care, but that kiss made me care. “I just don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, and there’s no way I can throw him. That boy is the size of a small pickup truck.”

“See?” Cat says with a triumph smile on her cherry red lips. “It’s not just me.”

“Oh, he’s banned from here,” Ginny explains. “Been that way since he was sixteen and came in here with fake ID and started a brawl that brought the cops and got the owner fined because he didn’t catch the fake ID. Plus his sister, Bradie, used to work here and we’re all still good friends with her including the owner. I saw her just last week and she says he hasn’t changed. He pretends he’s different, but in the end he pulls the same old garbage, like offering to help her out and bailing on her.”

I have no reason not to take Ginny’s words as the truth but…for some reason I don’t. I feel like there’s more to the story than she knows. Why would the guy who went out of his way to help me when I was hurt blow off his own sister when she needed him? He wouldn’t. Would he? Unless…were those the plans that got messed up because he helped me when I wiped out on my bike?

Ginny looks at me. “Didn’t you punch him in the face when you were younger? Or was that one of your sisters?”

I give her a sheepish smile. “Yeah that was me.”

Cat giggles. “Oh my God, I had forgotten about that! Why did you do that again?”

“Because he tried to fight my brother,” I reply. “It was dumb. Jude didn’t need me to defend him. Holden was drunk and really angry and just picking on Jude for no reason and honestly, he used to pick on me all the time when we were teenagers so I think I just needed an excuse.”

“You’re my hero,” Ginny says and winks. “I’ll be back with the drinks in a jiffy and consider them on the house.”

I watch her head back to the bar and turn back to Cat. She gives me a sympathetic smile. “Look, I know that you’re going through a lot right now. Of course you’re feeling raw and kind of alone, but please think twice before you lean on that boy for anything—emotional or physical. I mean, I get it. He is pretty, but that’s the outside. On the inside he ain’t pretty.”

I avert my eyes, staring out at the churning water beyond the windows and I nod. Not because I agree with her but because I just don’t want to talk about it—him—anymore. My stomach churns, and I feel so conflicted. I can see Cat and Ginny’s points. However, I also feel like I know him in a way they don’t. I’m also worried I’m letting that kiss color my opinion.

Cat and I stay at Riptide’s for another couple of hours and then she tells me she has to get home or she won’t be able to get up and make the cinnamon buns tomorrow. Not wanting to deprive the locals of the delicacy, I don’t argue, even though I’m not at all tired and not looking forward to going home and being alone. Being out and doing something has been good for me.

The walk home isn’t long, but the temperature has plunged in the last few hours and fall weather is definitely here. It’s downright chilly and I didn’t bring a sweater. Cat notices me shiver and gives me a sympathetic smile. “If you think this is bad, wait until November.”

“It’s just that it was so warm this afternoon,” I complain and she nods.

“Yep, you know what they say, if you don’t like the weather in Maine, wait a minute.” She grins at her own joke. “Your place is heated, right? I know not all cottages are.”

“Yeah, my dad had it winterized when I was a kid because he had always planned on retiring here,” I say and that all too familiar wave of grief crests inside me.

“I can’t believe you don’t want to go back to San Francisco,” Cat says and looks at me like I’m a puzzle she can’t solve. “You’d have better weather and more nightlife and your family. Hell, just talking about it makes me want to move there.”

I laugh but it’s hollow, just like I feel. “San Francisco is nice—don’t get me wrong—but it never felt like home,” I say, which is something I haven’t told anyone. “And Toronto isn’t home anymore because there’s nothing left there for me. This place was always the one constant in my life and I love it here.”

“I do too,” Cat replies and gives me a quick side hug. “I’d never leave the business or the state, but…California just seems like such a dream.”

“It’s not a dream when you’re there to watch your dad die,” I blurt out.

She gives me another side hug and I look away, willing the sadness to stay at bay. I had been doing so well tonight. As I blink back tears, I notice two men standing on the edge of the sidewalk, near a hedge just up ahead. They’re huddled together, heads down, as if having some kind of secret conversation. My step falters. “Is that Holden?”

Cat’s head snaps forward and her eyes narrow at the very same time the two men step apart and look at us. She doesn’t need to answer because it’s clear as day—that is Holden Hendricks. I’m startled because I didn’t expect to see him out at almost midnight but Cat’s expression is more than startled, it’s disturbed. “Yeah and that guy he’s with is the town drug dealer.”

“What?” I gasp, like an idiot.

“Hey!” Holden says and starts toward us. He glances back at the guy he was talking to. “Take care, Kevin.”

Kevin nods and walks away without looking back. Holden stops on the sidewalk directly in front of us. “You guys have a good night?”

“Until now, yes,” Cat snaps at him and it makes him frown. She doesn’t seem to care as she looks over at me. “Come on, let’s go.”

I try not to look him in the eyes as she tugs me down the sidewalk. I shouldn’t feel bad, but for some reason I do. We walk another two blocks and Cat looks over her shoulder and frowns as she stops and turns around. “Why are you following us?”

“I’m not. I’m heading home,” Holden replies, frustration tainting his voice.

“Can you walk some other way?” Cat asks.

“No,” he says flatly and his shoulders visibly tense. “Look, I get it. I fucked up with you—with everyone—when I was a kid and you’re never forgiving me. Fine. But let me fucking live my life.”

He brushes by us on the sidewalk and storms ahead. His aggressive reaction startles me, but I get it. He’s frustrated. I find myself feeling bad for him. I want Cat to give him a chance…I want to give him one too…I just don’t know if I can. We walk about a half a block behind him until we reach Cat’s street and she stops and gives me a hug. “You going to be all right?”

“Of course,” I say with a chuckle that I almost choke on. “Holden is harmless.”

She looks like I just told her Hannibal Lecter likes to snuggle. I ignore it and wave good-bye as I continue walking. “Save me a cinnamon roll in the morning.”

I can hear her sigh as she turns down her street. Holden is just a shadow up ahead—shoulders hunched, head down. I find myself picking up my pace until I’m almost stepping on the back of his heels. He knows I’m there but he doesn’t acknowledge me and it makes me feel worse. “I’m sorry about Cat.”

“Don’t be,” he growls back. “It’s fine.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I mutter. “I mean she is still bitter about her grandmother’s pearls and I would be too if you took something sentimental from me.”

“Like whatever the hell is on that paper you had with you the other day?”

I wasn’t expecting the conversation to move to that, so it’s like a bit of a gut punch. But when he finally glances over at me, as I step up beside him, I nod. “Yeah. Like that.”

“Are you going to tell me what that was?” Holden asks.

“A letter from my dad,” I say but my voice is scratchy and dry so I force myself to swallow. “He left each of us a letter to read after he died.”

He doesn’t say anything for a second as we walk and then he nods slowly. “That’s gotta be nice and yet painful at the same time.”

“Exactly.”

We turn onto our street. The air is getting cooler and cooler because we’re getting closer to the ocean and I shiver. He notices and starts to pull off the jacket he’s wearing. I shake my head, but he ignores me and drops it over my shoulders.

“God, you’re confusing,” I sigh.

“Excuse me?” I can tell by his tone that he’s annoyed.

“It’s just the way you are with me is the opposite of the way you are,” I say in the worst attempt at an explanation ever. The confused and annoyed look on his face reflects that. So I try again. “I mean, you’re nice to me and funny and even borderline charming.”

“Borderline charming,” he repeats and smirks. “I should put that on a T-shirt.”

“But then you’re still friends with assholes like Kidd and I find you on a dark street corner talking to a guy Cat claims is the local drug dealer,” I say and lift my hair out from under the jacket he draped around me. “And I hope I don’t have to say that I don’t want any drugs anywhere near my property.”

He stops dead in his tracks a few feet from my driveway. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are rigid, but he has a wounded look on his face so I’m not surprised he turns and starts storming toward his trailer without another word. I find myself chasing after him. “Holden, look, I’m just saying you confuse me!”

He turns so quickly it shocks me and I step back. “No. You’re saying you think I’m still a fucked-up kid. Or worse, that I wasn’t just a fucked-up kid, I’m an inherently bad human being. And that’s not at all the case.”

“I don’t…I’m sorry,” I stumble over my words like a guilty-as-sin, completely inept criminal because that’s what I feel like.

“You should be,” he snaps and steps closer so we’re toe-to-toe and then he reaches out. I assume he’s reaching for his jacket but his arm circles my waist instead. He yanks me until our torsos bump. I shiver again, but I’m anything but cold. “The truth is, whether you know it or not, you’re searching for excuses. Reasons why you can’t like me. Because you do. You like me and you loved that kiss.”

His arm around my waist tightens and my heart takes off in a gallop. I open my mouth to speak—but what am I going to say? You’re right. Because he is, but I’m not willing to admit it, at least not in words. I’m pretty certain that, as I rock up on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck as I lay one on him that he’s getting the message.

He takes over the kiss, parting my lips and claiming my mouth with his tongue and my body collapses against him in relief. I realize in this moment, that no matter who he is or isn’t, he is exactly what I need. And that revelation is chilling because I’m still so lost. He might be my light at the end of the tunnel, but I don’t know if he’s as dangerous as an oncoming train. So when he pulls away abruptly, that too feels like a relief.

“What are we doing?” I ask desperately.

“I know what I’m doing, Winnie,” Holden says firmly as he slowly takes a few steps backward, away from me. “I’m building a new, better my life with my business and falling for an amazing girl…but I don’t know what you’re doing and I’m pretty sure you don’t know either and that’s why I’m walking away right now. Good night.”

He walks into his trailer and shuts the door, leaving me alone and flustered in his jacket with the taste of his kiss still on my lips.