Chapter 16

His gift, and so many other things about how he treated her, said their relationship had evolved into more than sex for him too. His gift was a clear indication he cared. But the idea that she was alone in her love for him was frightening.

She looked up at him and found him watching her, his expression so tender and beautiful, she could barely contain all the emotions pressing out against her chest. Trying to escape.

“What are we?”

The words flew out of her mouth before she knew she was going to speak. Instant regret surged through her. They’d already established what they were: two adults having casual sex because of mutual attraction. She was the idiot who’d gone and broken the rules by falling in love.

At least she hadn’t blurted that out.

Seth blinked a few times, like he was processing the question. Or stalling for time, wondering how to get out of the conversation she’d sprung on him.

Except maybe it was good to get it out there. He obviously hadn’t fallen in love with her. But the lengths he’d gone to for her present, the way he watched comic book movies and rom-coms with her, how he listened to her talk about wanting to work comics and graphic novels into the curriculum, they all indicated he cared. She was more than a hookup.

“Are you asking about our relationship? Is that what you mean?”

They had a relationship. That was something. “I guess. Um, yes.” She shook her head. “Never mind. I don’t even know where that came from. It just flew out of my mouth before I knew I was going to say anything. Let’s forget I did.” She started to stand. “Let’s—”

“Carrie.” Seth wrapped his hand around her wrist and gently tugged, asking her to sit back down.

She did, and met his serious gaze. Her heart pounded so hard she thought it might burst through and tear a hole in her brand-new corset.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend? Is that what you’re asking?”

Yes! “No.” She shook her head for emphasis. She wouldn’t be clingy and push him into more than he wanted. “I mean, we agreed this was casual. We don’t need to…”

Something in his expression dropped, causing her words to trail off.

Looking at his hand on her wrist, he said, “Yeah, OK. I mean, you’re right. That’s what we said.”

Thick, uncomfortable silence settled over them and Carrie struggled to fix what she’d done. She wanted sexy, playful Seth back. Not confused, disappointed-looking, silent Seth.

“Wait, do you—”

“It’s just that—”

He chuckled, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her wrist.

The small touch warmed her, bringing back a little of the lighter mood.

“You go,” she said quickly. Because she wasn’t entirely sure what she’d been about to say. And blurting things out had worked so swell last time.

He kept watching his hand on her wrist, his thumb soothing her wild pulse. “I guess I kinda already think of you as my girlfriend.”

“Oh.” She sat up straighter. “Um, OK. I didn’t realize that.”

She was his girlfriend! The most amazing man she’d ever met, the man she’d fallen in love with, thought of her as his girlfriend. Hallelujah, praise the angels, her heart squeezed happily.

Slowly he lifted his head and met her gaze. His expression shifted from sad to puzzled. “Do you…is that OK?”

She nodded rapidly. “Yes. Yes, that’s more than OK.” Oh my God, he was nervous. Seth Chamberlain—her big, brave gladiator, the Iron Man of the Gridiron—was nervous that she might not want to be his girlfriend.

His beard tickled her palm as she laid it against his cheek. “It’s still gotta be secret, I understand that. But having a secret boyfriend sounds all kinds of naughty fun.” Messed up, but naughty fun.

He covered her hand with his, pulled it to his mouth and pressed his lips to her palm. One side of his mouth curled up in a roguish smile. “It does.”

He kissed her palm again, this time scraping his teeth along the skin. Then he dragged his tongue up her arm until he reached her collarbone, where he settled in to feast on her skin.

She shuddered, sliding her fingers into his hair to hold him close. “Cheesecake, carrot cake, a beautiful new corset, and a boyfriend.” Her words came in breathy gasps.

How was he so good at sucking her just the right way? If she tried to stand, she wouldn’t be able to. She had no skeleton.

He lifted his head, his expression playful. “So I win?”

“Win what?”

“My presents are better than an e-reader? Keep in mind, there are several orgasms yet to come.”

A shiver ran down her spine. “Still a tough call, but yeah, I think you edge out the tablet.”

He searched her face for a long moment, stretching it out until it was almost uncomfortable.

Just before she wanted to avert her gaze and squirm away, Seth stood, then scooped her up.

The weightless sensation of falling had her clutching Seth’s shoulders. “What are you doing?”

“I think I’m gonna have sex with my girlfriend now.” His long strides ate up the space as he headed for his bedroom.

“Oh. OK.” She was in favor of that. She was always in favor of him having sex with his girlfriend.

The spark in his eyes was positively wicked. “And I think I’m going to see how many times I can make her come before she passes out.”

---

Carrie’s breath came in pants, her chest heaving, aftershocks from her third orgasm still ripping through her. They’d started with a sixty-nine, then before she’d had a chance to recover, Seth had flipped her onto her back and continued using his mouth to shoot her up and over a second time.

Then, tasting sharply of her, he’d kissed her. And continued to kiss her, taking a few detours down to suck her nipples and drive her wild, while he fucked her with two thick fingers.

Now she felt thoroughly satisfied and unable to move. But as she sprawled on his bed, trying to find her breath, she could feel Seth watching her. As spent as she was, she still wanted to take him inside her.

She loved the way he felt, pressed against her from chest to knee, using his whole body to give hers pleasure. She loved the tight clench of his ass cheeks as he moved in and out of her. She loved the way he gasped her name when something felt good.

She loved him.

Drawing from strength reserves she didn’t know she had, probably because they were reserved for sex and no one else had every worked her this hard, she opened her eyes and rolled her head in his direction.

Seth lay on his side, his body only inches from hers, head propped on his hand. She’d yanked out his ponytail sometime while he had his hand buried between her legs, so his hair hung loose around him.

His smile was tender, the glint in his eyes a little bit cocky. “You’re not done yet, are you? I still have more birthday presents to give out.”

She smiled as broadly as her energy level allowed. “Give me a couple minutes. The last one was…intense.” She’d felt pleasure in her teeth and the roots of her hair.

He scooted closer, pressing himself along her side. His arm came over her waist and he stroked up and down her side. He’d requested she keep her new corset on, and because it made her feel sexy, and because the way he looked at her when she wore it took her breath away, she agreed. Also because the design allowed him to free her breasts, unlike her old corset.

The slide of his hand over the heavy fabric was pleasant, but she wanted his touch on her skin. All of her skin.

Movements languid and lazy, eyes shut, she unclasped the bottom buttonhook. Seth’s hand paused over her ribs, then slid to the center of her chest, flipping open the top hook. Together, they opened the corset until it fell away.

“Lift up,” he murmured. She complied, and he slid it out from under her. A moment later she heard the metal buttons clink against the wood floor.

His lips grazed her where her ribs met her sternum. His large hand splayed across her waist and belly. “That corset is damn sexy,” he said into her neck. His breath made her shiver. “But I really love your skin.”

He trailed his tongue along the underside of her right breast, the side closer to him, then raised his head. Carrie felt and heard him shifting, his long body rubbing along hers.

A shadow passed over her closed eyelids, and she felt his breath on her face.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” His voice was soft and reverent, almost pained.

Carrie opened her eyes to find his burning into her. His hair fell around them like a curtain as he propped himself on his elbow to look down at her.

He smiled, as soft and reverent as his words. Carrie’s chest swelled until she thought she might burst from the overabundance of emotion inside her. Or worse, she might destroy this beautiful, special moment they were having by blurting out that she loved him.

Instead, she smiled back and stroked her hand over his cheek, memorizing the feel of his whiskers on her palm. The shape of his mouth as he smiled at her. The look in his eyes when he looked at her with something beyond lust. Something so far beyond, she wanted to crawl inside him and let him make her safe and warm forever.

Maybe he did love her. Maybe he, like she until a few hours ago, didn’t realize it. Even if he didn’t yet love her, he cared deeply. If they continued on their path, he would. He wasn’t one of those closed-off men incapable of letting go and loving.

The idea that he could love her back, that they could build something together, a future out of what started in the tampon aisle, thrilled her so much, she had to slide her hand into his hair and pull him down for a kiss.

They sank into each other, the touch rapidly growing heated and hungry. She rolled to her side, pressing against him, and his arms came around her to hold her tight.

Their hands roamed and caressed, but their mouths stayed fused. They’d done plenty of oral exploration leading up to this moment.

Finally, unable to stand being without him for another second, Carrie slung one leg over his and tilted her hips so she could stroke her throbbing clit against the root of Seth’s cock.

He moaned long and deep into her mouth.

“I need you,” she whispered against his lips as she wrapped her hand around him, guiding her toward her entrance. She circled his head around her clit a few times before advancing. She was so wet, it took no effort to slip him inside her throbbing pussy.

She used her leg on his ass to try to pull him farther inside.

“Fuck, Carrie. That feels amazing.” Nevertheless, he pulled back, slipping out of her when she wanted him to shove in.

“What’s wrong?” She needed him to fuck her now. This was her birthday celebration, dammit.

Seth started to push himself up. “I need to get a condom.”

She stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Wait.”

He looked down at her, lips deep red from kissing, hair untamed and tangled around his head, eyes heavy-lidded and questioning.

“I haven’t been with anyone else since my physical this summer, and I got a clean bill of health.” Would he get what she was trying to ask? She’d thought a lot about this in the past few weeks, and scripted in her head what she would say. But when it came to the moment, she was more nervous than she’d expected.

“My last test was all good, and no one but you since.” His brows eased back into their usual neutral positions. “But I’m not ready for another kid, I—”

“I’m on the pill. Have been for years.” Did she sound as desperate to him as she did in her head? It wasn’t that she wanted to feel sex without a condom. She hadn’t noticed much difference with the one other boyfriend she’d done it with. But she wanted the trust involved in taking the step. She wanted the intimacy.

Seth’s arm relaxed until he again lay face-to-face with Carrie. He stroked her hair back from her forehead. “You’re sure?”

She held his gaze as she nodded. “Positive.” Then, because the emotional tension around them was starting to overwhelm her, she chuckled. “Seems like a decent way to officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.”

He breathed out a half-laugh, then leaned in for a kiss. It immediately turned hot and desperate and his dick pressed hard against her belly, the root once again tormenting her clit.

“Yes,” she moaned. “Please. Now.”

Seth moaned into her mouth as he lifted her leg over his again. Then he guided himself to her entrance and slipped inside.

OK, maybe there were subtle differences. She felt the slick of his pre-come as his tip grazed her clit before he entered her. And he did seem to slide more smoothly as he pressed forward.

“Jesus fuck, darlin’, you feel fucking incredible.” With a snarl, he shoved the rest of the way in one firm thrust; at the same time, he closed his mouth over hers for a frantic kiss.

He spread his hand over her ass and began to move, long, slow glides out, with firm thrusts back until he was as deep as he could go. It was a perfect rhythm to catch all Carrie’s most sensitive spots on the way out and again on the way back in.

Needing air, Carrie pulled her mouth from his, panting, but kept her forehead pressed to him. She watched the tense expression on his face, knowing it was how he looked when the pleasure was intense.

He dragged open his lids, his eyes wild and desperate, but somehow still soft. Tender.

“This is…” He slammed into her hard, then rolled his hips in a circle that had her gasping. “This is really fucking good. You’re so beautiful and you feel amazing.”

With every thrust, his chest grazed her nipples just enough to keep her on edge. She wanted to play with them, wanted to pinch her nipples until they reached—maybe even crossed a little—that precarious line between pleasure and pain.

But she couldn’t stop touching his face. His hair and his beard and the smooth skin below his eye, where his whiskers stopped, and the fleshy pad of his earlobe, and the crease between his eyebrows that he always got when he was deep in focus on bringing her pleasure.

“Haven’t you—” Her words broke off on a moan when he pinched her nipple, distracting her from her question. She had to fight the urge to arch into the touch. His gaze locked on hers was too much to look away from. Like everything else that night, there was a deeper connection building between them. An understanding of the other, an intimacy that was impossible to break.

“Haven’t I what?” he panted, followed by a long, guttural moan.

He shifted his hips, hitching her closer as he rolled in a circle. Pleasure detonated throughout Carrie’s body, so intense she almost wanted to pull away. It was too much. Yet it wasn’t enough.

“Haven’t you…done…this…” She could barely find air to push the words out. “Before?”

For several moments, he didn’t answer. The only sounds were their labored breaths and the slap of his groin against hers. Occasionally one of them moaned or cried out.

She used her legs to pull him tighter, flexing her thighs for leverage as he slid back and shoved home.

His hand left her ass, trailing up her back and over her shoulder until he cupped her cheek. His thumb caressed her cheek as he said, “Never. Even with Maddie’s mom, we used one.” His words were tense, huffed from his mouth into hers.

With as much of a smile as she could dredge up, she squeezed him with her inner muscles.

“Fuck!” he barked out. His eyes rolled back in his head and it was a good thirty seconds before he looked back at her. “Don’t do that again unless you want me to come.”

She was so close. She did want him to come. She wanted him to shove inside as deep as he could go, and find ultimate pleasure in her arms, while giving her the same. She wanted him to look in her eyes as he did, so she could tell him without words exactly how she felt.

And maybe she would see the same in his eyes.

She tilted her face so her lips brushed his as she said, “I want you to come.”

Groaning, he claimed her mouth. His tongue mirrored his cock, thrusting strong and sure. As he pulled back, Carrie clenched hard.

Seth groaned her name. So she did it again. Now with each thrust, she squeezed as hard as she could as he tried to pull back. And with each thrust back inside, she yelped, the pleasure immense as he teased all her best spots.

Forehead to forehead, nose to nose, sharing the same breath, they raced to completion. As tense as Seth’s face was, there was a softness in his eyes, in the slight upturn of his lips that was tender. It made her own lips curl even as she was drowning in pleasure. This was not merely fucking.

This was making love.

The realization was the final push she needed. Her orgasm crested, her whole body trembling from sensations so amazing, so intense, a sob broke from her throat.

“That’s it, baby. Come on.”

She started to arch her head back, but Seth’s hand in her hair was an anchor. Keeping her grounded, keeping her with him for this moment.

He continued thrusting as Carrie’s orgasm tossed her high and wild. She was weightless.

With a final thrust so hard it made her teeth rattle, Seth slammed into her as his body began to shake. His groan filled the room, followed by him panting her name as he pulsed and shook in her arms. “Motherfucker, that’s good, Carrie. Oh shit, that’s so good.”

The pleasure seemed to go on endlessly, one crest rolling into the next. Finally she dragged her lids up to find Seth watching her. She smiled shyly, embarrassed to be caught in such an intimate moment, even if he’d been the one to cause her orgasms.

Four times.

“I love your face when you come.” He said it so quietly, she at first wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. His thumb stroked her cheek and she leaned into the touch. After the intensity of their sex, the gesture was dichotomous, but sweet.

She’d managed to keep her eyes open for part of the explosions. “I like yours too. I like knowing I did that to you.”

They spent long, lazy minutes caressing each other. A perfect ending to their first time making love. Thinking the word made her chest swell and ache, in the best way.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, soft and wet and undemanding. She felt his smile as he returned the kiss.

“You know what’s the best part of not wearing a condom?” Each word formed against her mouth.

“One less thing going in the landfill, so we’re saving the planet by having sex?”

He leaned back to look at her for a moment. She gave him a playful smile. Face opening up in laughter, he wrapped his arms around her and rolled to his back. He’d gone soft, but he was still somewhat inside her. Another new intimacy that thrilled her deep inside.

“I never considered the conservation angle, but I’m willing to do my part to save the Earth. If we must, I’ll make that sacrifice.”

Carrie rested her chin on her fist, her other hand sliding lazily up and down his arm. “Tell me the best part.”

The humor slipped from his face, his expression turning tender but intense. “I don’t have to get up right away. I get to stay here with you. I can hold you until we fall asleep.”

He had to say the exact right thing to make her fall a little farther, didn’t he? Did he even realize what he did to her?

They shifted around on the bed until they were snuggled together under her blankets. The December wind rattled the gutters outside, but inside she was cozy and warm.

Before they drifted off to sleep, Seth tilted her face to his and gave her a soft, lingering kiss. “Happy birthday.”

Something about the way he touched her cheek, the way he said the words, like they meant so much more, had her wondering what else he might be thinking but not saying.

But there was time another day to figure out if Seth had fallen as deeply in love as she had.