Chapter Five

Despite his friendly smile, the tense set to Jonah’s shoulders and the watchful wariness in his eyes told Abby he’d suspected this reunion wouldn’t go well.

At least the man was smart enough not to expect her to fling her arms around him in welcome.

Abby tightened her jaw. Jonah still hadn’t answered her question. What was he doing in Hazel Green parading around as the new chief of police?

Abby’s eyes met his unwaveringly. Though she desperately wanted to put some distance between them, she wasn’t going anywhere without answers.

A muscle in Jonah’s jaw jumped. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Dressed in a dark suit and standard blue-striped tie, he obviously hadn’t gotten the memo about vintage fashion.

He didn’t fit in.

He shouldn’t be here.

Abby pressed her lips together. If she started talking, she might not stop.

“I, ah”—Jonah paused to clear his throat—“in my letters, I told you I applied for the position as chief of police. I told you I’d gotten the job. You never replied.”

“Is the position temporary?” She pushed out the question, prayed for the right answer.

Puzzlement filled his blue eyes. “It’s permanent. I explained that in my letters.”

She shrugged. Abby had tossed them in a bag and never read them. Now she wished she had, especially the last one. Then again, the job and the move had likely been a done deal by that time. How was she going to bear having Jonah and Veronica in the same town?

Done deal, Abby reminded herself. With a population of twenty thousand, Hazel Green was big enough that their paths should rarely cross.

Abby glanced around. “Where’s your wife? I can’t believe you left her at home.”

“Veronica is back in Springfield.” He frowned. “Our divorce was final three months ago.”

Abby opened her mouth to say she was sorry his marriage failed, but she stopped herself in time. She didn’t care enough to be sorry and wasn’t going to be a hypocrite.

“You didn’t read my letters.”

The incredulous look in his eyes surprised her. Surely, he didn’t think she’d spent the past five years hanging on his every word.

“Not a one.” She lifted her lips in a tight smile.

“It seems we have a lot to talk about.”

The last thing Abby expected was for Jonah to reach out and place his hand on her arm. In her haste to put distance between them, she jerked back so violently she stumbled. She might have fallen except for steadying hands on her arms.

“I was hoping to bump into you this evening.” The voice was smooth as cream. Matilda reached around Abby and extended her hand to Jonah. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Matilda Lovejoy.”

He gave the offered hand a shake. “Jonah Rollins.”

“Oh.” Matilda’s gaze shifted from him to Abby, then back again. “Abby’s friend from Springfield.”

Something sparked in Jonah’s blue eyes, and his shoulders relaxed. “We grew up down the block from each other.”

Abby wanted to punch Matilda through the silky gold jacket covering her arms. This man hadn’t been her friend for years, and Matilda knew it. She was the only one of Abby’s friends who knew Jonah’s name, knew what he’d done—or rather hadn’t done—five years ago. So why was she greeting him like an old friend?

“Sorry that took so long.” Leo strode up, gazing with interest at Abby before shifting his gaze to Matilda. “Everyone is raving about your parmesan-stuffed mushrooms.”

“They are delicious.” Matilda winked at Abby. “I’ve already had three. Just to check on the quality, you understand.”

She’d forgotten Matilda and her staff had done the catering tonight. No doubt the buffet table was filled with enough food to feed a small army. “I haven’t had a chance to check out any of your wonderful appetizers. I’m going to remedy that situation right now.”

She hadn’t taken a step when she heard Jonah say, “I’ll go with you. I’m a little hungry myself.”

Abby’s eyes met Matilda’s. Something in the woman’s direct gaze had her straightening her shoulders. Matilda was right. She had to speak with Jonah sometime. It’d be best to lay out the ground rules now.

“Suit yourself.” Abby spoke without glancing in Jonah’s direction. They were nearly to the tables when she veered off course.

“Have you seen the terraces?” She continued toward two french doors embellished with geometric patterns without waiting for his agreement. Abby let out the breath she was holding when she stepped onto the brick terrace and noticed the area was deserted.

Despite the slight chill in the air, Abby had no doubt that in an hour or so, the crowd would grow so large that revelers would spill outside. For now, she and Jonah had the area to themselves.

Once the doors closed behind them, Abby walked until she stood at the edge of the terrace. A mermaid statue with a bright-blue tail stretched out beside a backyard pond. Abby took a second to gather her composure, then slowly turned, confident that if he looked at her face, he’d see nothing she didn’t want him to see.

Abby studied him for a moment, conscious he was doing the same.

The years had been good to him, she noted dispassionately. His hair, the color of winter wheat, held no trace of gray. His six-foot frame, what she could see beneath the dark suit, was as fit as ever. Only his eyes were different.

While still the color of the sky on a clear summer day, the eyes she remembered always had a spark. Sometimes of mischief, often of good humor. Tonight, those eyes that had once sparkled with life were watchful.

“Why are you here, Jonah?” His name rolled too easily off her tongue. Abby didn’t like it that even after all this time it felt familiar.

When he opened his mouth to answer, she held up a hand. “Please don’t insult us both by saying you applying for a job in the same town where I live was a coincidence.”

Her voice trembled just a little. Abby cursed the fact. It had to be the citrusy scent of his cologne, a fragrance he’d worn since high school. One, she recalled, Veronica had never cared for.

“Moving here was deliberate.”

She clasped her hands together, waiting for his explanation.

“Four years ago, I was elected sheriff of Lincoln County. It’s not as big as Sangamon, but it was a good opportunity.”

Springfield, where they’d both grown up was in Sangamon, one of the largest counties in Illinois. Lincoln County was one of the smallest.

“I’m familiar with the size of the county.” Her tone remained flat and well controlled. “I’m from the area, remember?”

When she saw something flash in his eyes, Abby cursed herself for adding that last word. She didn’t want any trips down memory lane.

“Of course.” Jonah paced to the edge of the flagstone terrace, then back again. He didn’t look at her again, which was for the best. “After that day in the doctor’s office, I put all my efforts into my career. It was easier that way, less painful that way.”

He raked a hand through his hair, the look of misery on his face at odds with his matter-of-fact tone.

There wasn’t one ounce of sympathy for him in Abby’s entire body. Not even a drop.

Jonah lifted his hands, let them fall. “I don’t know what else to say.”

He didn’t know what else to say? Abby’s blood went from a simmer to a full out boil. This was the extent of his explanation for his behavior?

“What happened with you and Veronica?” Abby didn’t know why she was asking since she didn’t much care what had sent their marriage into a tailspin.

She told herself it was simple curiosity. Jonah and Veronica had appeared to have a solid relationship. If they hadn’t, she’d never have agreed to carry a baby for them. But apparently that had been just one more thing she’d been wrong about.

Incredibly weary, Abby dropped down on a metal settee with a fan back. Folding her hands in her lap, she waited.

Jonah hadn’t stopped pacing since he’d stepped onto the terrace, Abby’s heart picked up speed when he unexpectedly commandeered the chair beside the settee. The faint scent of citrus wafted on the evening breeze.

Dispassionately, she took note of the lines around his eyes that hadn’t been there five years ago.

“Veronica still wanted a baby.”

The comment punched like a fist straight to the heart. She inhaled sharply, then covered it with a cough.

“We’d barely left the doctor’s office that day when Veronica started pressing for us to find another surrogate. It was as if she blamed your womb for the baby’s anomalies.” Jonah’s gaze remained focused straight ahead, into the darkness just beyond the soft glow of the terrace lights.

She expected him to continue, but he only continued to stare into nothingness. “What did you say to her?”

The edge to her tone, as tough as high-tensile steel, had him facing her.

“I said no.” His gaze turned pleading, as if expecting her to . . . what? Understand? Forgive? Pat him on the back?

“I couldn’t think of another baby, not when—”

“When you already had one on the way? A baby you’d walked away from after I refused to end her life?” Saying the words brought a profound ache to Abby’s heart. But her eyes remained dry, and her voice gave no indication of her inner pain.

“It wasn’t that way. I never stopped thinking of her. Or of—”

“Stop.” She spat the word. “I don’t want more lies.”

Jonah expelled a harsh breath. “I told Veronica we should wait. But time passed, and I couldn’t bring myself to—I finally told her I didn’t want another surrogate. Not then. Not ever. She was crushed. For her, that was the last straw. Having a child was so important to her.”

“Having a perfect child was important to her.”

He said nothing.

So they’d split over Veronica’s obsession with motherhood. How ironic that the one thing they’d stood together on had been the thing to tear them apart.

“I understand why Veronica isn’t with you.” Abby inclined her head. “Now tell me why you’re here.”

+

Jonah had wondered what seeing Abby again would be like. He recalled vividly that day in the office when the doctor had given her the news. Her face had been ghostly white, her dark eyes too large in her worried face.

When Veronica had suggested they move ahead with scheduling an abortion, Abby had looked at him. It had been the same way she’d looked at him when Jared Shuster had knocked her down in fourth grade. That time, he’d been there for her.

But in the office, he hadn’t come to her rescue. He’d wanted to, but all the years of infertility treatments followed by a failed adoption had taken their toll on Veronica’s emotional health.

Then she’d been in the room when her cousin’s baby—born with anencephaly—had passed away. Veronica had been still reeling from that experience when they’d gotten the news about the baby Abby had been carrying for them. The news had turned her relentless, fiendish about having a “perfect” baby.

“Tell me why you’re here.”

The demand, spoken in that cold tone, had Jonah jerking his thoughts back to the present. Back to Abby, who had once been his closest friend.

She looked like a woman who didn’t have a care in the world. Though her dark hair was longer than it had been the last time he’d seen her, it was still a glossy mahogany with hints of red. He’d thought her eyes, big and brown and full of life, were her best feature. When she’d seen him, they’d gone from warm to cold in a heartbeat.

Jonah had watched her for several minutes from across the room before Leo insisted he meet Abby Fine. Only then did he learn he would be serving on a committee she chaired.

When he’d crossed the room with Leo, Jonah hadn’t known what to expect. Abby hadn’t responded to any of his letters. He’d let her know he was considering moving to Hazel Green, mentioned when he’d gotten an interview, and asked what she thought when he’d been offered the position.

Radio silence.

He hadn’t been dissuaded. Not a day had gone by since Eva Grace’s birth that he hadn’t thought of her and Abby. He yearned to be a part of his daughter’s life. But he’d reconciled himself to the fact that as long as he was married to Veronica, that was an impossible dream. After his marriage ended, he started making plans.

His parents had been startled when he’d told them of his plan to move to Hazel Green. Harold’s retirement had come at the perfect time.

Although he’d told Abby when he’d be arriving, she’d been shocked to see him. Though she had a stellar poker face, he’d always been able to tell what she was thinking.

“I’m here because I’d like to get to know Eva Grace.” After a moment, his lips tipped in a slight smile. “You named her after my mother.”

It had been several months after Eva Grace’s birth when he’d run into a woman who once worked with Abby. For Jonah, hearing what she’d named the baby had been bittersweet.

Veronica had resisted the idea of naming their child after a family member. Then again, his ex-wife and his mother had never been particularly close.

“I like the name Grace.”

So she wasn’t going to admit that his mother, Nancy Grace Rollins, whom Abby had once adored, played any part in her decision. He remembered the day his mother had stopped over and mentioned that she planned to go to Abby, to see how she could help.

Veronica had gone ballistic. She’d told his mother and him that if they had anything to do with their former surrogate, she would take Abby to court for breach of contract. She didn’t care if she didn’t have a legal leg to stand on. She didn’t even care if the case was thrown out. She only cared that Abby would know the full fury of her displeasure.

His mom had kept her distance. As had he.

Family loyalty had cost all of them.

“I’d like to get to know Eva Grace. I’d like it if you and I could be friends again.” Jonah coupled the pronouncement with a slight smile. “I could help you out—”

That was as far as he got before she slapped a hand down on the table. Hard.

“Let me make one thing clear.” Her eyes were as dark as obsidian, her jaw set in a hard line. Waves of icy air rolled off her to slap him in the face. “You will stay away from my daughter.”

The finality in her words had his own temper rising. “I’m her father—”

“You’re a sperm donor.” Her eyes narrowed to slits. “A father is there for his child. When she cried because the braces hurt, a father would have been there to comfort her. When she had bad dreams, a father would have been there to soothe her fears. You’ve never been there for her.”

He couldn’t argue the point. He hadn’t been there for Eva Grace or for Abby. But he was here now. And he would not let them down. Not again. Never again.

“I’ve made mistakes.” Jonah struggled to find the words. Talking about feelings and emotions never came easy. His mother teased that he was like his dad, who showed his love through acts, not through flowery words.

If Abby would give him a chance, he’d show what a good dad he could be to Eva Grace . . . and what a good friend he could be to her. First, he had to convince her to give him that chance.

“I want to make up for the past.” Jonah swallowed hard. “Please give me that chance.”

“You want to drop into our lives now that it’s convenient for you. Now that the not-so-perfect child has survived all the trauma and pain, you’re ready to accept her.”

“I was ready to accept her back then.” He clenched his hands into fists at his sides as emotions roiled and raged inside him.

“You had a funny way of showing it, Rollins.” Abby’s laugh held no humor. “You didn’t even show up for the custody hearing.”

He could have told her he’d known that if he didn’t show up, she’d be awarded joint custody. That if he’d been there, she might have ended up with no custody. But before he could say anything, she sliced the air with her hand.

“Let me tell you how it’s going to be.” Abby clipped the words, her expression stony. “You’re going to stay away from Eva Grace. You come around, I’m calling the police. I don’t care if you are the chief.”

“I’m her father.” Keeping a tight rein on his emotions, Jonah reminded her of that one indisputable fact. “She’s five years old. You can’t tell me she doesn’t ask about me.”

Something flashed in her eyes that gave him the answer.

“She wants to know me.”

“She’s a child. My child.” Abby met his gaze. “I will do what’s best for her.”

Incredulous, he could only stare. “How can you say that not knowing me is what’s best for her?”

“You’ll hurt her.”

“I won’t.”

“You chose your wife over your child’s life.” Abby’s voice shook with emotion. “When her very existence was on the line, she couldn’t count on you to have her back. Why would I ever let you get close to her now?”