I feel it the moment I’m released. I’m lying in Mariska’s bed, not sleeping as always, watching the dark sky grow darker as I do every night until it reaches the darkest point and the light begins creeping up the horizon—at which point, I fall asleep.

Demeter’s house isn’t designed for company, so I’m in this bed while Elaine is on the pull-out couch. Mariska sleeps with her grandmother.

Ever since Patrick left us, we’ve been on edge. Patchouli candles are lit in every window filling the house with their heavy, spicy perfume. Demeter ordered her granddaughter out into the garden to snip several stalks off her rosemary and yarrow plants, and then she ground them into a powder she sprinkled around the front and back doors. After that, she went to her attic and proceeded to chant for a good hour.

I don’t think she’s afraid. Fear isn’t part of the equation. It’s more of a ritual, something she does whenever she’s under spiritual attack. What surprised me most of all were her prayers. She’s said traditional Catholic prayers all evening in addition to the protection and hiding spells. I suppose we need all the help we can get.

Elaine had shut the light off early, but she’s lying on the pull-out listening, watching, when I creep into the dim living room. I don’t want to disturb her. I have no right to ask her to do this. Derek is nothing to me. We’ve slept together a few times… I drank his blood… he drank mine… Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I’m going insane with worrying about him.

My friend’s eyes are closed and her brow is lined as I crawl into the bed beside her. The only light shines from the patchouli candles in the windows. Still, I can see her eyes moving rapidly behind her lids as if she’s watching an action film.

I’ve only seen her this way a handful of times. Usually, it’s when her family members are in trouble and she’s trying to figure out a way to help them. She’s hearing from Patrick, I’m sure of it. I snuggle into her side.

“What’s happening?” I whisper.

She hesitates. Her slim body stiffens. “Stuart is going to be okay,” she says softly.

At first, I’m startled. I didn’t know Stuart was in danger. “I’m glad,” I say truthfully. However, I’m far less worried about their alpha shifter than I am my beautiful hunter. “What else?”

A few moments pass. The clock on Demeter’s mantle ticks so loudly, I wonder how I never noticed it before.

“Sloan is dead. They burned his body and scattered the ashes.”

Nodding against her shoulder, I can’t hide the relief in my voice. “I felt it as soon as it happened. It was like a heavy chain had been taken off my neck.”

“Yes,” she says softly. “You were his slave. We came here to set you free.”

I think about her words a moment. She’s absolutely right. Our entire reason for this trip—just between the two of us—was to find a cure for my hybrid state. Now it’s been accomplished, it seems, by my strong, beautiful, amazing man. He promised to save me, and he did.

Heat moves through my pelvis, and I close my eyes imagining what it will be like to sleep with him as a mere mortal. He was overwhelming when I was a hybrid. I can only imagine how my human body will respond. It takes so much to affect a vampire.

“When will they be here?” I hope my voice isn’t breathless. I imagine Elaine can read my thoughts again now that the vampire curse is off me. She must know how enormous my feelings are for him.

Her arms tighten around my shoulder, and she only holds me. She doesn’t answer my question. A flash of fear moves through my chest. For the first time all night, I consider she’s hiding something from me.

“Lainey?” I whisper. “What’s wrong?”

Exhaling a little laugh, she squeezes my shoulders again. “Nothing! Nothing.”

The hasty way she says it twice gives her away. Whatever she’s hiding is far from nothing.

As much as I don’t want to say the words, as much as I tremble at the thought, I must ask. “Is Derek… dead?”

“Oh, god no,” she tries to laugh more, but it’s unconvincing.

“Then tell me why you’re afraid. I can feel the fear rolling off you.”

Moving onto her side, she slides a cool palm against my cheek, moving my hair over my shoulder and back. “Melissa…”

It’s like a lament. I can’t take it anymore.

“Tell me what happened!” I almost screaming in a whisper, and it seems to do the trick.

Her chin drops and her voice thickens. “Derek was… changed.”

I pull back. “What? I don’t understand. Changed how?”

“Sloan overpowered him. He used some kind of mind control.” She’s speaking so fast, my brain and my emotions struggle to catch up. “Sloan knew he had vampire blood in his veins. Patrick said when he saw Derek had beaten him, he used his last moment to glamour Derek into biting his neck and drinking his blood.”

I’m off the couch and on my feet so fast, it’s as if I’m still a hybrid. A typhoon sweeps my insides. “What are you saying?” My head shakes, and now I’m speaking fast. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. Repeat what you just said.”

She waits as I pace. I’m breathing so fast, I’m afraid I’ll hyperventilate.

Slowly, she reiterates the horrible words. “Derek is a vampire.”

My shoulders hunch as pain hits my stomach with the force of a cannon. No! Not my Derek! I drop to my knees and press my forehead against the thin mattress. Tears burn my eyes, and my fists are over my ears, and I scrub them, wishing there was some way to erase these horrible words.

Derek is a vampire. It’s all my fault. He wouldn’t have done any of this if it weren’t for me. I changed his plans. I took his life.

“Oh, god!” I cry into the mattress as my body trembles.

My friend puts both hands on my shoulders. She’s rubbing my arms, trying to comfort me—as if that’s even possible.

I sit back on my feet, tears blurring my vision. “Where is he? I have to go to him. I have to tell him how sorry I am.”

“I don’t know.” Elaine reaches for both my hands and holds them tightly in hers. “Patrick said when he realized what he’d done, he took off running into the night. Patrick tried to follow him, but Derek is too fast now. They can’t find him. They don’t know where he went.”

“No!” My voice breaks as panic sweeps through me. I’ll never find him. I’ll never see him again. Only I have to find him! He has to let me see him. He has to talk to me.

As fast as the panic comes, I feel the calm, problem-solver side of me kick in. When I was locked in the hybrid-vampire state, my emotions were so volatile. I would be lost on a train of thought with no way back on a moment’s notice. Now I can think again. I can strategize. It’s such a relief.

Clearing my throat, I wipe the tears from my eyes. This is no time for falling apart. I will find Derek. I will see him again.

When I speak, my voice is calm, professional. “I’m sorry. Please tell me exactly what happened.”

My friend shudders and looks down, clasping her slim arms over her torso. “Oh, Melissa,” she whispers, and her eyes clench shut. A lone tear drops onto her cheek.

“Elaine, please.”

“When Patrick looked up from helping Stuart, he saw Derek had ripped out Sloan’s throat with his teeth.” She pauses for a shudder, and I feel like someone is pressing a palm against the front of my neck.

“Did he…?” I can’t say it.

“He drank Sloan’s blood. Derek drank the blood, and he made his first kill.”

My initial feeling is pride. My strong hunter ripped that monster apart with his bare hands. Instantly my pride is replaced with grief at what has happened to my love, how he must be feeling, the shock and horror.

“I have to find him,” I say. “He did all this to save me. I have to go to him.”

“I don’t think that will be possible—”

“And why not?” I don’t mean to be indignant with her, but I need to see Derek now.

“Patrick says it’s too dangerous. Their ties were severed when the change happened to Derek. They have ways of checking up on him, but Patrick says we have to be cautious. He’s tracking him now.”

“I need them to find him, Elaine. If anyone knows what he’s going through, it’s me.”

She nods, holding my hands, her green eyes wide. “I know. I can feel the power of your love for him.”

I try to pull away, to hide my face. It’s too soon for love. How can we even know our feelings with all these terrors swirling around us?

“Yet you do,” she says softly, answering my question. She’s back inside my head. “You love him, and that’s why I’m going to help you.”

* * *

Derek

Realization burns through me like a brand. I’ve crossed the line. There’s no going back for me now. As Sloan’s control dies with him, the start of my new life races through my veins. The change is happening fast. The vampire blood overpowers my simple human flesh, and before the end of the night my humanity will be gone. I’ll be immortal.

I stand over the empty husk of Sloan’s body, and I know there’s no salvation for me now. I’ve lost everything. He won.

Star is sitting with her back against the wall. Her eyes are large, watching me. She saw everything, and either she’s too stunned to speak or she doesn’t know what to say.

Patrick has resumed human form, but he’s staying in a squat to hide his nakedness. He’ll shift again before they leave.

“I’ve stopped Stuart’s bleeding,” he says. “The healing process has begun, and he’ll be fine in a few hours.”

He looks up at me cautiously. I can tell by his tone he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know where to begin or what to think.

I by contrast, don’t care to think. I don’t care to speak. I take a few staggering steps backwards, away from the grisly scene then I turn and start to run. The change has progressed to the point that I move too fast for human eyes.

I run up the levee until I cross over to the road, and I keep going. The vampire blood circulates in my muscles, pushing me so fast, the scenery dissolves into a swirl of muddy colors around me. Vaguely in the background I sense the puma tracking me. Patrick’s keeping up, but I’ll lose him.

My vision is also changing. Instead of blinding darkness, I see clearly in this foggy night. By morning, my vision will be so heightened the sun will hurt my eyes. I’ll have to use sunglasses or stay indoors during midday to avoid blindness. As I run, my old nature dies rapidly, passing out of my system on my sweat. I’m turning into something powerful, something supernatural.

Run! Shock pushes me on. I haven’t allowed myself to reflect on what happened and how it changes my entire life. Running is all I want to do, so I do it. I run hard. I feel like I could run all the way to Princeton, but instead I run along the Interstate until I’m at Lake Pontchartrain. Turning, I keep going down the long, lakefront road. It’s quiet and deserted.

A neighborhood is up ahead, but I don’t want to be around people. Turning back south, I keep going until at last I’m on a wide, deserted highway. Slowing to a walk, I look around as I follow the concrete way. It’s vaguely familiar and completely abandoned.

Trees and scrub bushes grow thick along the roadside. It takes me a little while to figure out where I am. The faded red and blue sign is my only clue. It’s not even a sign anymore. The words are gone, and only a bare white background remains.

Lettering underneath says “Closed for storm.” I’m in Jazzland, the notorious Six-Flags theme park wiped out by seven feet of water after Hurricane Katrina. It was never rebuilt.

For more than a decade it has stood here slowly moldering away. Tall, black-iron gates stand open, and I walk through them in the eerie silence. Vaguely, I recall stories about how this place is haunted. Will I meet another monster here? The thought disturbs me, and as I get closer, my muscles tense.

Ridiculous. I’m a vampire now. I’m one of the strongest monsters in the lineup. The thought makes me cringe. Passing a hand over my face, my mind jumps to what Sloan said. All of our study and knowledge made him as strong as the most powerful old one. I know things about vampires it takes them years to discover about themselves.

Forcing my brain to calm, to focus, to return from the shock, I sift through my knowledge bank. Vampires don’t care for decaying, ruined places. They don’t hang around corpses. The ones in Lafayette cemetery are exceptions rather than the rule. Vampires prefer luxury and decadence.

Walking through the abandoned park, I survey the eerie landscape. A steel roller coaster rises above it all like a monument to destruction. Its network of wood and metal girders and beams is a rusted-out crosshatch on the verge of collapse.

Rippling ribbons of blue streak down the center of the wide path I’m following. It would be festive, but instead it’s covered in a thin layer of black muck left behind by the floodwaters. I keep going.

My boots make a muffled scuff on the dirty concrete. The air smells of mildew. Several tall, colonial-style buildings stand empty. A concrete clown’s head as large as my body lies on its side smiling grotesquely at the ground.

Graffiti covers everything. Messages from “Fuck off” to “Where do theme parks go to die?” prove kids frequently visit this place. An abandoned Ferris wheel is across the way from a lifeless swing ride. It’s all been left to fall to dust.

A large theater draws my attention. The rain has started, so I push inside to take shelter. It’s an enormous, empty metal building. Trash is all over the floor and canned light fixtures hang from ceiling far overhead. The sound of rain echoes in the space.

Onstage, I run my fingers along the limp edges of a ripped movie screen. Behind it, a circular-metal vortex forms a black hole as big as me.

Every bit of this decaying, dilapidated park mirrors my emotions. I lean against the wing and slide down to sitting. My knees bend, and I rest my arms on the tops, putting my face in my hands.

It’s all over. My identity has been stolen from me. My life has been taken and changed. What comes next? Will I grow cruel like the ones I’ve killed? Will I savagely kill and feed on other humans? My fingers tighten over my face, and I don’t know the answer.

My growl, ricochets through the emptiness. I don’t want to be alone with these thoughts. The second I ease the vice-grip on my mind, the one thing I’ve been holding at bay races to the forefront. It’s the one thing that pushed me harder and harder as I ran. Only, I’ll never run fast enough to escape her.

“Melissa…” My breath catches.

Leaning my head back, I lift my chin to the black metal ceiling and close my eyes. The pain of everything I’ve lost is brutal, but the knowledge I can never see her again crushes me. I’m not sure I can survive this.

“Melissa,” I whisper her name again like a prayer. “My lady, my love…”

Metal scraping across concrete snaps me to attention. “Who’s there?” I shout.

My defense mechanism is instinctive. I prepare to fight, when an oversized black Rottweiler trots through the door. Instantly I relax, although I don’t know where this leaves us. Still, after all our years together in the service, if anyone would find me, it would be Stuart.

He hops onto the stage and walks to where I’m sitting. For a moment he waits, until I slip my arms out of my thin jacket and pass it over. I only vaguely recall I have a gun loaded with silver bullets in my boot. He shifts into human form, wrapping my jacket around his waist.

“God, you stink!” Going to the opposite wall, he covers his nose with his hand in an almost canine fashion. “Fucking vampire scent.”

“Thanks.” I give him a bitter glance, but the truth is, I’m glad he’s here. “It’s just one of my new qualities.”

“Ah, Fuck.” Dropping his hand, he leans his head against the wall behind him. “What the fuck are we going to do with this shit?”

Lowering my knees, I look down at my hands. “You know what we have to do.”

“What?” I lift my gaze to him, and I don’t have to clarify before he blasts me with a, “No fucking way! I’m not killing you. God… No. We’re not fucking going there.”

“It’s the only solution.” My chest is heavy as I look down. “You know I’m right, and if you don’t know it now, you will.”

“Time out. You’re the one always saying how we don’t kill for sport. If we only kill for justice, what have you done to deserve death?”

He’s got me there. I don’t have an answer, and for a moment the only sound is the roar of rain on metal roof.

“Nothing yet, but I will. This nature is too powerful for me. I’ll fight it as long as I can, but ultimately, it will destroy me.”

He nods. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“You and I both know what’s coming.”

Shifting on the stage floor, he sits forward. “I’m not ready to give up on you. Let’s go through that knowledge base of yours and see what we can find.”

“It’s no use. I’ve never found a vampire that doesn’t kill.” Resting my head against the wall again, I see the path before me. “I will never be like him.”

Stuart doesn’t answer right away. He looks at his fist a moment before cutting his eyes to mine. “You’re right. You will never be like him. You’re not like him. He wanted power. He craved the forbidden fruit. You were forced.” Anger simmers in his tone. “You’re going to stay close to Patrick and me.”

“And when it’s time for me to feed?”

We’re both stumped by that reality. I can’t control the blood lust, and when it takes over, I won’t be myself, no matter what my motivations are.

“I only act on instinct around your kind.” He turns up his forearm. “Still, I won’t let my brother go down alone. We took an oath.”

“I release you from the oath.”

“You don’t have the authority to do that.” He’s quiet again. “Patrick and I will protect you—from yourself and others. You study your records. Find another way.”

“It’s impossible. The blood lust is too powerful.”

Pushing off the floor, he stands. “Then you’ll be the dark knight, preying on the worst criminals. The child molesters.”

Right. Shaking my head, I exhale a defeated laugh. “Now I’m the scales of justice? I get to decide which criminals can’t be saved?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. We’ve both done this long enough to know who can’t be saved. Your buddy Sloan, for starters.”

He’s right. Even if Sloan weren’t a vampire, chances are good I’d have killed him for what he did to Alison, what he did to Melissa. Although, if he weren’t a vamp, would he have done those things?

It’s too many questions. I’m overwhelmed by all of it. Squinting my eyes, I press my fingers against my lids. “I need time to think about all of this.”

He looks down, and for several moments we don’t say anything. It’s like the days when we were in the desert together, overnight watch, and after several moments our breathing is in time. The rain has slacked off. It’s now a peaceful hiss that will soon be gone.

Stuart shatters that peace. “She wants to see you.”

My brow lowers. “No.”

“Patrick’s already told her he’ll bring her here.”

“What the fuck?” Anger clenches my chest. “He had no right—”

“Look, she went to him in tears.” He pauses to clear his throat. “You know Patrick can’t handle that. She knows what happened. She blames herself.”

Those words have me on my feet. The image of Melissa crying rips me in two. I want to hold her, comfort her. I want to make love to her so badly my insides ache.

“As if she forced my mouth to his neck.” I pace the large stage. “As if she told me I had to go after him. She’s only ever said the opposite. I vowed to save her.” Pausing in my walk, I look at my hands. “It’s the only thing in this whole fucking mess I’m proud of. She’s free.”

“You’re a fool if you think that.” My eyes snap to his, and he continues. “She’s as tied to you as you are to her. We have to find another way if only for that. You’ll never be free of her.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I exhale a bitter laugh. “I never took you for a romantic.”

“I’m not blind.”

He waits while I process this new information. Melissa. Every fiber of my being longs for her. My need to hold her is stronger than the blood lust—at least for now. I can’t be sure of anything at this point.

“I need to control it,” I say. “He can’t bring her here. I need to be able to get away if anything goes wrong.”

“Say the word.”

“I’ll go to her.” The more I think about it, it’s the only way that makes sense. “Is she still in Algiers?”

“As far as I know.”

Nodding, I look down. “I’ll spend the night here. Tomorrow night, I’ll meet her. But not in the house.”

“I’ll go ahead of you and prepare them. From what Patrick says, Demeter has a pretty extensive backyard garden, trees and woods.”

“I’ll be there at dusk.”

“I’ll let them know.”