Chapter Five

 

“I think I accidentally activated my second phone tree in your honor, Green.” Wyatt glances up from his plate, barbecue sauce coating a bashful smile. “Though if anyone asks, I’m blaming Seamus for both of them.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” And what was his first phone tree about?

“I told my cousin what happened to you. He told his husband, who called Ken. Of course he and Brady had already heard about it from Carter, so as we speak they’re installing security cameras and getting Trick—that’s one of my cousin Jen’s guys—to recommend someone who can keep an eye out as well.”

“That’s…” Confusing, probably expensive and fills me with guilt. “Wow, okay, I’m not going to ask about your cousin having multiple guys because that would be inappropriate, but the other thing? That’s a bit of an over the top response for one freak occurrence. Did you explain the fact that it happened because of me? If I’d changed my plans and not gone to the pub for my da—”

“I hope you’re not trying to say any of this was your fault,” Fiona interrupts severely. “And you can’t count him as a date anymore, either.”

“No, but maybe it’s—”

“Maybe it’s my fault.” Wyatt is no longer smiling. “I knew there was something off about him. He was too jumpy. I should have knocked that punk on his ass instead of asking him to leave.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Wyatt. There was no way you could have known what he was planning. I didn’t see it either, and I’m usually good at sizing people up.”

I keep remembering the nerves Brent exhibited, the way he held his phone so tightly I was surprised it didn’t crack. But that’s normal for a blind date. None of it screamed, “I’m holding you here for a friend so we can use you as a punching bag.”

“Extra measures are good idea.” Carter isn’t looking at me when he responds. “That’s what I told them when Brady called to let me know why they couldn’t make it tonight.”

So that’s why the couple hadn’t shown up. I’m not upset about it. I feel comfortable with these three, and it’s been a long time since I socialized on a regular basis. A regular not for an article basis.

But I’m wishing the topic of conversation wasn’t so depressing.

“I love that bar,” I sigh. “I’d hate it if what happened ended up changing the atmosphere.” No matter what they say, that would be my fault. My bad judgment. My mistake.

“It won’t change anything at all, JD. Okay, maybe the cameras will put a stop to the unmonitored sex in the alley,” Fiona adds with a grin. “But Finn’s isn’t a quiet little pub anymore. Not after all the renovations Seamus has made. With the label taking off and the place being packed more often than not… More people should mean more security. I hear that’s good business.”

Wyatt used his napkin to wipe his lips with a bit too much care before turning his attention on Fiona. “Had a lot of sex in the alley, Fi?”

She chuckles and pats him on the arm. “Not me, firecracker, but if you haven’t then you might be the only Finn who missed the boat.” She catches me smiling and arches her slender brows. “Here’s a scoop for you, Green. Wyatt’s family is predisposed to a certain behavior we professional headshrinkers like to call exhibitionism.”

“Who can blame them?”

“Exactly. They’re all so naturally gifted, of course they’d want to show it off.” Her smile is wider now. “You would be shocked if you knew how much time I spend warning people not to take their breaks out back when a Finn is in the house. But I have to admit, I enjoy it so much more when they don’t listen.”

“I’m shocked.” I’m not. Not at all. I’ve heard the kinky whispers. Even Senator Finn’s wife was rumored to be a real wild thing before the wedding. I doubt being married with kids has changed her that much.

I feel Carter’s knee accidentally brush against mine and imagine him cornering me against a wall somewhere public where the two of us might be discovered. The idea of him being so impatient to claim me that he can’t wait until we’re alone, that he’d want everyone to know exactly who I belong to…

I adjust myself under the table.

I can see the appeal.

“Let’s not write about that scoop, okay, man?” Wyatt includes me in the glare he’s directing at Fiona. “My family doesn’t need any more notoriety. Not about our…not about that.”

I mime locking my mouth with a key and throw it over my shoulder. “This dinner is off the record.”

He nods and swiftly changes the subject. “Carter, you should come to the next Finn Again. I bet Brady would like it. He already thinks of you as family.”

“He— Yeah? Maybe I will.” No one else notices, but I can see that telling twitch near his eye that says he’s flustered. Surprised. Why would he be surprised? He has to know how much Brady admires him.

“If you made this you’d have a standing invite, and I’d have someone to talk to who isn’t otherwise occupied.” Wyatt pauses and shakes his head. “That was rude, wasn’t it? I didn’t mean to assume you weren’t… If you’re seeing someone, you could absolutely bring her to dinner, man.”

Carter quirks his lips. “Don’t worry, Wyatt. You’re right. I’m not in a relationship at the moment.”

He’s looking at me when he says it, and I’m doing my best not to read into every move he makes. “It must be hard to be one of the few remaining single guys in the family. Too much PDA with your pasta, buddy?”

Wyatt nods but Fiona makes a scoffing sound. “Don’t let him fool you. I’ve been to one or two of those dinners myself. He loves teasing his family about their public displays. It’s the babies that bug him more than anything.”

“Fiona.”

“He doesn’t know how to act around toddlers he isn’t rescuing from burning buildings, and he still isn’t used to his brother being a single dad.”

There’s a tightening around Wyatt’s mouth and tension in his shoulders as soon as she mentions his brother. Why? I don’t know enough about them to guess and it makes me wildly curious.

Why can’t life be like a television show? Watchers usually get to know what’s going on well in advance, even if the characters haven’t found out yet. I hate not knowing things.

“Zachary’s a cute little guy.” Carter throws in, unaware of the undercurrents he’s paddling into. “I’ve seen the pictures Brady has on his phone. And Noah’s a good man to take that on by himself. Not many men would do that.”

Wyatt leans back in his chair, glowering. “He’s always been a good guy, but he had no idea what he was getting into. Seamus makes it look easy, but it’s not. One reckless fling at a wedding and he’s changed everything about his life basically overnight. Up to and including his shifts at the firehouse, because juggling his schedule with a baby was too much for him to handle alone.”

“I hear that’s what babies do,” Carter says in a quiet, non-confrontational voice I can’t help but admire. “Change everything overnight.”

“But he’s not alone. In a family like yours, you’re never really alone,” Fiona assures him, her forehead creasing at his tone. “And now he’s got someone with experience there to watch Zach and get things organized, so it should get easier.”

But it wasn’t the same. Wyatt doesn’t say anything but his face is easy for me to read. “Big families aren’t always a cure-all, and having one doesn’t mean you never have to work through certain things on your own,” I say absently, staring at Wyatt when he looks up as if surprised I’m taking his side. “Sometimes they cause more problems than they solve.”

“Damn straight.”

“And the larger the family, the harder it can be, if you don’t agree with the majority. But just because something’s right for them doesn’t mean it’s automatically right for you. At least, not on their timetable.”

“Right?” Wyatt puts his hands up and looks at me as if I’m a genius. “See, he gets it. If you don’t stand up and cheer every time someone upends their life without warning, even if it’s a decision you don’t understand, you’re the bad guy.”

“I do get it.” I offer him a supportive smile. “And you’re not the bad guy, Wyatt. Personally, I think Zach is lucky to have an uncle like you. An uncle who can teach him how to make his own decisions. How to handle himself when the unexpected throws him for a loop. Someone needs to, don’t you think?”

Wyatt’s expression goes from startled to considering. “Yeah, I guess you could be right. Sneaky, what you did there, but I see your point. I’d do a better job than the rest of my brothers, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sure you would, and I’m always right. It says so in my bio.”

I feel Carter studying me again, but I manage to resist meeting his gaze.

“JD knows a lot about big families.” Fiona says suddenly, turning the spotlight in my direction. “What did you tell me again? Ten foster brothers?”

“Nine.” I wish she hadn’t brought it up. Talking about my family gets…complicated. “But only one of them is married with kids so far.”

And since Craig’s high school sweetheart-turned wife thinks we’re a family of misfit toys and I live on the other side of the country, all “Uncle JD” knows about them is that they take adorable Christmas photos.

“Nine brothers?” Carter asks in disbelief. “Is that what you meant by that breakfast comment earlier? I had no idea.”

All eyes are on me now, and my face heats from the attention. “We haven’t had a lot of time to swap family tree info. It’s not exactly something you bring up in casual conversation.”

“Unless you’re Fiona,” Wyatt mutters.

“Unless you’re Fiona,” I agree with a sigh. Apparently I’m not the only one that wasn’t born with a filter.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “Blame me for wanting to have stimulating dinner conversation about what it was like for the two of you growing up with so many brothers in the same house. Wyatt has five of his own, you know. You could have compared notes. Never mind. Let’s all stare vacantly at our empty plates instead.” She instantly looks contrite at her outburst and offers a tentative smile to Carter. “The plates are empty because the food was delicious. JD was right about your special sauce.”

I cough into my hand.

“It’s not really mine, but I appreciate it.” Carter hesitates, glancing at me from beneath his lashes before looking back at her. “I was an only child, so I can see the fascination. I used to wish I had a houseful of brothers and sisters.”

“Thank you.” She gives us a speaking look. “I’m glad someone at this table understands me.”

“We understand you.” Wyatt snickers and reaches for his drink. “And if you’re both that fascinated with big families, we can give you a couple of brothers, right, Green? Hell, I have a trio of cousins fresh off the boat that are turning into real troublemakers. They’d probably take one look at Carter and be willing to call him daddy if the price was right.”

“Ice cream.” I push back my chair with more force than I intended. “I think it’s time for ice cream. Fiona, come help me.”

Carter starts to stand. “I can get the dessert.”

“You made dinner.”

“You bought it.”

“You saved my life.”

“Hardly,” he huffed. “But if we’re going in that direction, you should be taking it easy.”

He’s killing me and I either need to run away or jump him. “I’ll survive the trip, Carter. Keep Wyatt company. We’ve got this covered.”

When I finally get to the kitchen and open the freezer, Fiona is already leaning in close to whisper, “What is going on with you two?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m serious, tell me.”

“I’m serious. I’ve got nothing.” I pause, tilting my head as if considering. “I don’t think he needs Wyatt’s cousins. I’ve already been adopted.”

The sound she makes says she’s not buying what I’m selling. “He’s not looking at you like a father would, JD.”

More like a daddy.

Stop thinking like that, freakazoid. “Have you heard anything about his personal issues or preferences?”

“Not really. He’s only been coming around the bar for a couple of weeks, and I’ve never seen him with anyone but Brady and Ken. I do know his parents are gone and he didn’t leave any kids behind. I remember Brady mentioning that as a selling point for getting him to move here. Instant extended family.”

Just Lonely gets another point in its favor. “There you go. That’s what I thought. He’s being a nice guy and getting company in the bargain.”

“That is not the vibe I’m getting.”

Me neither. I think about today at my apartment, and ask before I can stop myself. “What’s the vibe?”

“Sex, genius. The vibe is all about delicious, dirty sex.”

“And here I thought it was all about dinner.”

She shakes her head. “Not unless you’re the one on the menu. He’s barely noticed we were here all night. He’s been too busy defiling you with his eyeballs.”

I wrinkle my nose. “He’s an eyeball defiler? Way to suck the sexy right out of that sentence, Fiona.”

“Speaking of sucking, you stink at reading people when it’s about you and your neglected dingdong.”

“Classy, but point taken.” I take out the ice cream while she finds us bowls. “It’s a good thing I’m brilliant at it when other people are involved.” I lean closer. “So why are you being such a dingdong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re acting like you don’t want to light up that sizzling firecracker currently attached to your hip when we both know that’s not true. So what’s with the friend zone bullshit?”

Fiona stares at the pistachio. “It’s complicated.”

“Your Facebook status is complicated. But what’s the reason? Is it because you work for his family and things could get awkward? Is it because you don’t like men in uniform? That can’t be it. Who doesn’t like a fireman’s uniform? There’s an entire calendar industry devoted to them.”

“Of course I like his uniform,” she hissed. “Why the hell are you talking about his uniform? What does that have to do with anything?”

I shrug, fighting my grin. “Just trying to dig out the truth. You like him, you love his uniform, and he’s got a great family. Oh and he’s pretty too. You’ll have to help me out, Fiona. I’m not seeing a downside.”

“What if the downside is that I’m kinky, free-spirited and slightly poly by nature and he’s…pistachio? This is pistachio, right?”

“Yes, but Wyatt isn’t.” I knock my hip with hers. “What he is, my fellow philomath, is eager, trainable and smitten.”

She tries to hide her smile by playing with her lip ring. “Did you say smitten? Out loud?”

“It’s a valid word.”

“For a historical romance. Or Scrabble.”

“Don’t try to change the subject by mocking my vocabulary skills.”

Her smile disappears and her shoulders slump with a sigh. “I don’t know, JD. He doesn’t adapt well to change. I thought he did at first. The rest of his family is great at going with the flow. But then Noah showed up with the baby and… If you knew more details you’d understand.”

“I think I’ve gotten the gist. All the men he’s grown up with are starting new lives with their significant others. Half the guys he used to cruise for ladies with are now more interested in men. Babies are popping up all over the place. And didn’t you tell me about a recent death in the family?”

“His father.” She nods thoughtfully.

“His father died,” I emphasize. “It doesn’t matter whether their relationship was good or bad, that’s not an easy thing to deal with. Believe me, I know.”

“And right after that, his oldest brother resigned from the force and came out to everyone.” Her whisper is so soft I have to strain to hear her.

The old chief of police came out? O-kay. That family is fascinating, but whatever, it helps with my narrative. “So in that big family where everything is changing but Wyatt, would it be safe to say he might feel like he’s getting left behind? I mean, I don’t have a master’s degree in psychology or anything but—”

“Shut up.” She nudges me with her elbow. “You helped him in there, by the way. He wasn’t thinking about the fact that he was an uncle. Now he is.”

“Of course he wasn’t. It sounds to me like change has given him all stick and no carrot.” I lean my head on her shoulder playfully to lighten the mood. “He needs you to be his carrot, Fiona.”

She pushes me away with a soft laugh. “I’ll give you a stick right in the eye if you don’t stop.”

“It’s too soon for eye poking jokes.” She looks up at my black eye, so distressed that I wrap an arm around her. “I’m kidding. I’m sure I’ll be able to see out of it again eventually. As long as you take my advice.” She stares at me blankly until I shrug. “What? You know I’m right about the carrot.”

“How about this? You deal with the May/December thing you’ve got going on with your Marine, and I’ll find a way to deal with Wyatt’s carrot in my own time.” She steps back, gathers up two bowls and walks back to the table before I can respond.

Please. May/December thing? Carter isn’t eighty for God’s sake. And there isn’t a thing to deal with yet. It’s just dinner and a sleepover. For the second night in a row. With a guy I had a sex dream about last night. A guy who keeps touching me and feeding me and apparently defiles me with his eyeballs when I’m not looking.

Oh hell, there is a thing. There’s a big, giant thing and I have no idea how to deal with it.

“It looks like you lost your helper. Mind if I step in?”

The spoons in my hand clatter to the counter. Carter is too damn stealthy for my peace of mind. “I’m good.”

“Are you sure?”

I glance at him over my shoulder and hum thoughtfully. “I think so. Unless you want to take a bite of my ice cream and admit it’s better than yours and I’m always right about everything.”

“Everything? You sound pretty confident I’ll like it.” He chuckles and moves closer until he’s standing right beside me. “I guess you better let me have a taste so I can judge for myself.”

I guess you better let me have some privacy so I can rub one out and be near you without limping.

His eyes stare pointedly at the spoon that’s back in my hand. He wants me to feed it to him? Is he trying to torture me?

Maybe I’m into that, because instead of handing it over or teasing him about being too old to feed himself, I wordlessly dip it into the container and then up to his lips.

What the hell are you doing, Green?

I’m blaming his mouth for my bad judgment. His salt and pepper beard usually distracts me from it, but this close I can see how generous his lower lip is. For all his sharp, masculine features, the man has ridiculously feminine eyelashes and a mouth that begs to be kissed.

The smile he makes before the spoon disappears in his mouth is genuine and irresistible. And when he swallows and groans out loud? If he does it again I might come in my pants.

“Damn, you might be right, JD. That’s delicious.”

“Yeah?” I murmur, unable to look away as he licks a trace of it off his now shimmering lips.

“Oh yeah.”

I’m gripping the spoon so tightly I’m losing feeling in my fingers. Don’t touch him. Do. Not. Touch. Him. “Good enough to share your grandmother’s secrets with me?”

“I thought I had to admit you were right about everything.” I can feel his breath on my temple. My cheek. “Are we changing the rules now? And if we are, is that really what you want instead?”

“What else?”

He’s so close now his lips are almost brushing mine. “Maybe if we put our heads together we could think of something we’d both enjoy.”

This is what Fiona was talking about. The sex vibe. As in my body is vibrating with the need to have raunchy, gritty sex with Carter Willis.

“I’m not sure we’d, uh, enjoy the same things.”

“You might be surprised.”

I bite back a gasp when the front of his jeans brush against mine, telling me what I most wanted to know. He’s hard. Huge and hard and close enough for me to grab hold of.

He’s as turned on as I am. And he’s definitely interested.

“You’re really going the extra mile to keep that recipe to yourself,” I joke weakly, not sure what to do with this erection information.

“And you’re tempting me to give it to you. But I want something in return.”

Yes, give it to me. Take whatever you want. I breathe out on a soft moan, my hips tilting forward without my permission until I feel it again. There. Jesus, it’s a beast. There’s a fucking steel Leviathan in his pants and I need to see it. Try to wrap my fingers around it. My mouth.

Carter grips my wrist and lowers it to my side, the spoon dropping unnoticed to the floor. “Are you going to give me what I want, JD?”

He’s still close enough to kiss, but he’s restraining himself, as if waiting for me to make that final move.

I want to. Jesus, how I want to. But for some reason, like an idiot, I lean back instead. Away from his lush, sensual mouth. Away from temptation. “Shouldn’t we get back to your company?”

Coward.

His expression is tight and his fingers flex around my wrist. “If that’s what you want.”

I want him. What the hell is wrong with me? “Carter, I—”

“Again, Fi?”

Wyatt’s angry words shatter like breaking glass around us, ruining the moment.

“You’re ditching me for Thor again?”

“Who’s Thor? Any relation to Zeus?” I sound a little manic as I slip away from Carter and move unsteadily toward the couple heading to the door. “And where’s the fire? Shit, wait, is there an actual fire?”

I just realized there are some expressions you shouldn’t use around firemen.

Fiona’s smile is brittle and polite. “A text from a friend. He needs some help studying for a final exam.”

“Bullshit.” Wyatt’s expression is the definition of frustration. I can relate. “He’s always studying for a final. Or he needs you at the bar. No one works as hard as Thoreau Wayne at finding excuses to see you.”

“Except for you?” She challenges him before hugging me gently, almost apologetically. “Sorry, hon. I’m glad you’re in good hands. And how about the next time something happens to you, you feel free to give me a call, okay?”

That’s not the first time she’s mentioned that tonight. “I will. Drive safe.”

“I’m driving her,” Wyatt says, his frown grim. “I’m free tonight, and I’ve got nothing better to do now. I might as well help my cousin’s business partner pass his damn final.”

“That’s probably not a good idea.” My radar goes off at her tone. Why is she telling him not to when she knows how he’ll react to…?

Oh.

“Two heads are better than one,” I offer, trying to help without being obvious.

Two heads. That’s what you’re after with that reverse psychology isn’t it, you kinky poly girl?

“See? Green agrees with me.” Wyatt sends me a grateful wink. “It’s settled. I’m coming.”

Fiona glares in my direction but all I see is, “Thank you.”

And you’re welcome. One of us needs to get lucky tonight.

Wyatt might get that carrot sooner than I thought.

By the time they thank Carter for dinner and say goodnight, I have enough self-preservation to have moved out of his reach. I’m at the stairs before he turns around to face me. “Dinner was great, but I think it wore me out. I’ll make up for the dishes at breakfast, okay?”

I don’t wait for him to respond before I disappear.

Don’t you mean run away like a headless chicken?

I’m not afraid. I just need a minute because Carter blew my mind. I hadn’t seen it coming. Not like that. Not during dinner.

One minute I’m doling out ice cream and unsolicited advice, the next I’m a heartbeat away from humping Carter’s leg like a sex-crazed, six-foot Chihuahua. And if I’m not mistaken, and I know I’m not, he was fully on board with that plan.

Are you going to give me what I want, JD?

If he’d taken without asking, I wouldn’t have stopped him. It never would have crossed my mind. But he did ask. And something made me hesitate. Something I’m already regretting, since none of my doubts matter when they come up against this need he makes me feel. A need he might already be on his way to taking care of if my fears hadn’t gotten in the way.

I close the door to the upstairs bedroom and lean heavily against it, unbuttoning my pants with quick, clumsy fingers.

“Carter,” I groan and jerk my dick out in rough desperation. Fuck, I can’t remember the last time I was this hard. So hard it hurts. I close my eyes and in my mind I’m back in the kitchen. Only this time Carter is kissing me and it’s his strong fist I’m fucking my cock into. “Yes.”

Fiona and Wyatt laugh softly in the dining room, adding to the thrill I get when he turns me and bends me over the kitchen counter.

“This is what I want.” Without warning he drags my pants down to my thighs and spreads the cheeks of my ass with his strong hands. One thick finger traces the crevice between my cheeks and makes me gasp. “There it is. This ass. I’ve been thinking about doing this all night.”

“You have?” I groan into the countertop as that now magically lubed finger pushes against the tight ring of muscles until I can feel it inside me. Opening me. Filling me. “Oh God.”

“Oh yeah. Look at that. So tight and hungry, the way it’s already sucking me in. You’re going to give it to me, aren’t you, JD?”

“Please, yes. Take it. Do it.”

“Do what?” But I can hear the smile in his voice. He knows exactly what I want because now there are two fingers filling me. He’s getting me ready to take his big cock. Ready to be filled and fucked. God, I’m so ready.

“Tell me what you want me to do, JD. I need to hear you say it.”

“Fuck me. I need you inside me.”

“Not yet.”

My frustrated moan has him laughing. “You’ll get my cock when I’m ready to give it to you. You can wait. You’ll enjoy it more if you wait.”

“No I won’t.” I don’t want to wait. I can’t. Not when there are people in the other room that could walk in any second. Not when he’s fingering me deep enough to lift my feet halfway off the floor. “I’m too close, Carter. You have to…you have to…”

“Have to what? Do whatever I want to your body? I agree. I saved this ass. It’s mine.”

He removes his fingers and I feel a new kind of sting as he spanks me once. Twice. “Say it, JD.”

“Yours,” I gasp, half-crazed now. “It’s yours.”

The head of his erection gliding against my ass is my reward, sending rippling shudders through my body. “Please.”

“What can I do to you?”

“Anything you want.”

We both let out a deep, needy groan when he pushes inside me, reaching around to stroke me again. His hips set a hard, unforgiving rhythm that sends me closer. Closer. “Carter.”

“Anything I want.” His voice is deep and commanding in my ear. “I could keep you tied to my bed, ass in the air, prepped and ready to take my cock whenever I get the urge. And this feels so good I’d want it all the time. I’d fuck you so deep and so often you wouldn’t be able to get away, even if you wanted to.”

“Oh God.”

“You don’t want to like that idea, but you do. I can feel it. You need to be claimed. You want Big Daddy Zeus to fuck you hard all day, and then tuck you in and keep you safe at night. Is that it, Green? Am I right, baby?”

“Yes!”

“That’s good,” he groans, his thrusts more erratic. “So good, taking every inch for me.”

I can be good. I can take all of it. More.

His fingers are so tight they’re bruising my cock now, his hips jarring me with each powerful stroke. “Give it to me, JD. Come for me now. Only me.”

I bite back my cries of release and come hard all over my hand. Wave after wave of white hot, piercing pleasure leaves me strung out and clinging to the door, reeling from my climax.

Holy shit, that was intense.

My head tips back while I catch my breath. Fantasy Carter was a little darker and a lot more possessive than I’m used to. He wanted to own me. Keep me. Tie me to his bed.

Tuck you in. Keep you safe.

I’m not ready to delve into my subconscious about it, and in real life, I might take issue with that kind of manhandling, but I can’t deny it made me come like a fucking geyser.

I go to the bathroom, strip and clean up the mess I made of myself before slipping into bed to stare at the ceiling.

There are no roadmaps for this. Or if there are, I don’t have them. I’m thoroughly lost when it comes to dealing with what Carter brings out in me. The lust that makes me forget my name. The connection, despite our differences, that I can’t remember having with anyone else.

And I can admit now, alone in the darkness, that I’m scared of it. Terrified of seeing where it goes and of never knowing. Of things happening too fast or not happening at all. 

What’s really messing with my head is how right and normal it feels to be here with him. Having dinner. Letting him take care of me.

It shouldn’t be normal. It should be alien and strange and uncomfortable. I’m not a spoiled, helpless child. No one needs to take care of me. I should be dying to get out of his hair and away from his perfectly cut sandwiches and his constant attention. To get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

But I’m not. I like his hair. I like everything about him. I enjoy being with him nearly as much as I want him.

I feel safe with him. I like that too.

That’s too much “like” for only a day and a half—but then again, in that same time I’ve been ditched, punched and burgled. Maybe that’s all this is. Emotions run high in situations like this. It makes sense that I wouldn’t be acting like myself. This is all textbook, I’m sure. It will pass.

Even as I’m reasoning my way through the crazy, I know that if he puts the choice in my hands again, I won’t be able to walk away.

Are you going to give me what I want, JD?

My dick stirs to life again and I groan, slipping my hand beneath the sheets as Fantasy Carter makes another appearance.

I’m getting the feeling this is going to be a long night. And that The Dry Spell Diaries might be over soon.

My editor will kill me, but at least there’s a chance I’ll die happy.