(The Past)

Nowheresville, Ohio

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I STARED AT MY SCHOLARSHIP letter from Notre Dame University, running my fingers across the words in the final paragraphs:

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WE’RE ULTIMATELY IMPRESSED with your abilities and advanced understanding of engineering concepts, and to ensure that we’re first on your list of college choices, we’re offering you a full academic scholarship that will cover your participation in our summer tech program.

We are also offering you a financial stipend ($15,000.00 USD) to cover your first year’s room and board. (We will happily assign you to the work-study program if you should need further financial assistance.)

Hope to see you on our campus,

The Admissions Office, Notre Dame University

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SIGHING, I PUT IT AWAY and checked my email, noticing a new message from a counselor I’d spoken to on the phone, weeks prior.

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SUBJECT: TRAVEL STATUS

Hey Corey,

I hope all is well. I heard that you'd be joining us at the university this fall as our youngest student. (I still can’t believe you just turned sixteen. Wow!)

Anyway, I thought you were arriving at the campus this afternoon, but the welcoming team said you haven’t picked up your registration packet yet.

Let me know when we can expect you.

Ronald Jenkins

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BEFORE I COULD EMAIL him back with a lie I’d concocted, the familiar Tap! Tap! Tap! sounded against my window.

I rushed over to the window and opened it, grabbing Hayley’s hands and helping her come through.

“So, I’m not too late!” She hugged me. “I would’ve cried if I missed seeing you off on your big day.”

“You cry about everything these days, Hales.”

“I do not!” She laughed and playfully hit my shoulder. “Wait. Why haven’t you packed anything? Isn’t Notre Dame expecting you today?”

“I decided to turn down their offer at the last minute.”

“What?” Her eyes looked as if they were bulging out of her head.

“Yeah, I um.” I sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready for college anyway. I’ll just stay here and work for a year or two, and then I’ll go to a different college. Maybe Ohio State. They let people defer acceptance for up to eighteen months.”

“That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard, Corey.” She crossed her arms. “That’s not what you were saying last week, and you’ve been talking about getting out of Ohio all summer. I mean, if I were you—”

“You’re not me.” I snapped “So just fucking drop it, okay?”

She looked away from me and sighed. Then, because she hated confrontation, she pulled a small gift box from her pocket and placed it on my bed before climbing out of the window to leave.

“Wait,” I said. “Don’t go. Please.” I waited until she swung her legs back over the frame. “I don’t really want you to leave. I’m just pissed off and hurt right now.”

“Oh...” She took a seat at my desk. “What happened?”

“My parents spent my scholarship money.”

“What?” She gasped. “All of it?”

“All of it.” I sat on my bed. “They took it to the casino because they were convinced they could flip it and give the original amount back to me. On the bright side, they made five hundred dollars off of fifteen grand that didn’t belong to them, so maybe they’re getting better at gambling after all.”

She gave me a look of sympathy.

“Anyway, even if I were to leave, I wouldn’t have any extra money for books, food, or anything. I was planning to buy a new computer, too, so there’s no way I’ll be able to compete with people with the piece of shit I have now.” I’d considered telling the school what happened, but I doubted they would believe me or give me a new check unless I was willing to press charges against my parents.

I was still trying to process how they were able to live with themselves after breaking the news to me last week. How the hell they could go about their lives as if they hadn’t just obliterated mine. 

“Did they at least tell you that they were sorry?” Hayley asked.

“Saying sorry doesn’t fix things, Hales,” I said. “But no. They didn’t say that at all. They said that now I’ll have plenty of time to get more scholarships and that the university was dumb for giving a kid a check like that anyway.”

“Well, I’m sorry.” She sat next to me. “I was looking forward to seeing someone else get out of this hell-hole of a town.”

“You’re not secretly happy that I’m stuck here for another two years now?”

“No.” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe if you were Old Corey, I would be, but New Corey is a bit of an asshole.”

“New Corey?”

“Yeah, the one who snaps on me a lot more, makes me sleep with the paper-thin blankets while he gets the warm and fluffy ones, and promises hot chocolate like old times but never delivers. Oh, and the one who made me wait outside for a whole hour while he talked to some girl on the phone. That Corey. i.e., you.”

I tried to hold back, but I couldn’t help but laugh. It was honestly the first time I’d laughed all week.

“Stay right here.” I stood up and left the room, heading straight for the kitchen. I made her a tall cup of hot chocolate, complete with all the extra caramel and chocolate flakes she liked on top of the whipped cream, and slowly carried it back to my room.

“Here’s some hot chocolate for you, Hales.” I handed her the cup. “And I apologize about the blankets thing. We’ll take turns sharing the bigger blankets. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Can you also promise that you won’t make me wait outside anymore, just because you’re talking to girls on the phone?” she asked. “I can put on your headphones and listen to music until you’re finished. I promise I won’t interrupt or make fun of you when you try to make your voice sound deeper.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “I can promise you that. Can you promise me something?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Can we keep this thing between us?” I said. “I mean, can you not tell Jonathan that I won’t be going to Notre Dame? I don’t want him to know.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want him to think that everything for people like us is ultimately hopeless,” I said. “I want him to keep thinking he can do anything, and to keep those promises he made to you.”

“Okay, promise.” She extended her pinky to me, and I twisted mine over it. Then she handed me the blue gift box she’d brought over.  “It was supposed to be your going-away present, but I think you should open it anyway.”

I pulled the ribbon off the box and took off the top. Inside, was a short letter and something that was wrapped in newspaper.

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DEAR COREY,

Even though you’re Jonathan’s friend/foster brother, I really enjoyed hanging out with you this summer, and even though I’m super jealous that you’re leaving me alone in Ohio, I’m happy that you’re getting out and going to college.

While you’re gone, I’ll be sure to keep your room clean (You better keep the window unlocked from the inside for me.), and I promise to write you a new letter every week!

Your favorite “Chum” (“Chum” is officially my favorite word since I’ve beat you in Scrabble with it twice in a row now.)

Hayley

PS—Please promise you’ll write me back when I send you letters. My mom never responds to the ones I send to her prison, so it would be nice to receive mail in return for a change.

PS—Also promise that you’ll place this gift on your desk so you won’t ever forget to write me back!

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SMILING, I SET HER letter to the side and unwrapped the gift. It was a picture frame, and inside she’d placed a black and white picture we’d taken weeks ago. We were both throwing up our middle fingers and tossing our heads back mid-laugh, right in front of a road sign that read, “Welcome to the Best City in the World!”

“Thank you so much, Hayley.” I walked over and placed the frame on my current desk. “I would’ve definitely written you back every week.”

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LATER THAT NIGHT, WE lay in silence on separate beds, and I made sure to keep my face buried in my pillow.

“Corey?” Hayley tapped my shoulder, making me roll over. “Corey, are you crying?”

“No.” I wiped my eyes. “I’m not crying at all.”

“Okay.” She sniffled, then she lay right next to me. “I’m not crying either.”