They abandoned the car and didn’t speak during the jog through the wooded area surrounding the farm. With each step and each twig breaking beneath his shoes, Holden cringed. The sounds were magnified by the quiet of the woods, and his failed sense of direction did nothing to tell him whether they’d gotten a good distance away from the road.
He shifted closer to Six, so close he bumped into him several times, but his presence was comforting. The wall of his mental shield felt like protection against the outside world, and Holden craved even an illusion of safety. It slowed his heart rate and allowed him to catch his breath. Once they reached a small cabin tucked into a cluster of trees, he was composed enough to not appear completely hysterical.
“What is this place?”
Six started for the stairs, paused, and then glanced at Holden. “Do you feel anyone?”
Holden blankly stared for a second before comprehension triggered. He reached out with his gift, widening it as far as it could go, and cursed himself for not having done this during their trek through the mix of forests and marshland interweaving throughout the area. His first reaction had been to cling to Six, not find a way to protect himself. That was a problem.
“I don’t feel anyone at all,” he said. “But it only extends so far.”
Nodding, Six climbed up onto the porch and unlocked the door. “Just keep your third eye wide open. There’s always a chance someone can shield themself, but if you could feel the guards, there’s a good chance you’re more powerful than they are.”
“How did you know I could feel them?”
“Because you ran.” Six stood in the middle of the small cabin. “Which was smart.”
Holden turned the lock on the door handle and looked around. The cabin was cozy in a rustic and outdated way, with cedar wood panels lining the walls and floor, and furniture so faded he could barely see the floral design. There was a tidy little kitchen in the corner of the room and a short hallway leading to another room, but the entire place couldn’t have been more than seven hundred square feet.
“What is this place?” he asked again.
“It’s where I stayed while working on the Farm.” Six turned on a small lamp next to the couch and flooded the room with golden light. “I was one of the few guards who was able to live elsewhere.”
“What made you special? The length of time you were there?”
“Yeah. Most guards put in their time before requesting to be transferred to the CW or some other assignment in a city.” Six sat on the hideous couch and hunched forward, his elbows on his knees. “Your father let me have this because I never asked to go anywhere else. He wanted me . . . relatively happy, and I appeared brainwashed enough to be happy with this place.”
There was enough room on the couch for Holden, but he didn’t move. He wrapped his arms around himself and focused on the endless darkness of Six’s eyes, wondering how they’d become a source of comfort after weeks of distrust. “Why do the guards have guns, Six?”
“Same reason they do at a prison.”
“But this isn’t a prison.” At Six’s sideways look, Holden took a step forward. “It’s not.”
“On the surface it’s not, but I already told you what this place has turned into. You just don’t want to believe it.”
“Because—” Breaking off, Holden began to pace the room with his hands buried in his hair. “Because this is out of control. I was raised in this Community, Six. These people were my family. Growing up, people talked about the Farm and the people who worked there like they were clergy. They were what other members aspired to be, or at least respected even if that wasn’t what we wanted. And now you’re telling me it’s this fucking—” He yanked one hand free. “It’s a fucking prison where problematic members are reprogrammed, where talents are leeched, and troublesome psys are tortured. And they, what? They shoot anyone who tries to come in or out?”
“Yes. Allowing a trespasser to see what happens here, or a Community member to escape and expose the truth, is too risky.”
Dread swamped Holden. His pulse raced once again. “Have you ever shot anyone?”
Six’s dark gaze slid to the window. His fingers tightened into fists. “Yes.”
“Oh my God. I’m going to be sick.”
Holden turned away to press himself against the window, needing the cold smooth glass to wake him from this nightmare. It couldn’t be real. This mounting horror had to be happening in the most twisted depths of his mind. There was no way this was life. No way this was the Community that had uplifted so many. That had raised him.
Without warning, Six’s hands slid up over his back to curve around his shoulders.
Holden shouldn’t have wanted those hands on him—hands that had hurt and maybe even killed. But he couldn’t push Six away. He was drawn in by the strength of him, and when that bubble wrapped around him again, he felt almost safe enough to break. As his chest constricted, he allowed Six to turn him so they were chest to chest.
“I’m not a murderer.”
Holden leaned heavily against the window instead of pressing against Six the way his body wanted to. He refused to look up. “You shot someone for trying to leave the Farm. You killed someone.”
“I had no choice,” Six said fiercely. He gripped Holden’s chin and forced him to look up and witness the terrible grief that had shown in Six’s eyes. The vacant facade had shattered to expose a sadness so sharp it briefly, just briefly, pinged Holden’s talent. “I was a teenager when they put me here and put me through their fucking reprogramming. They put me in a room with no windows, and every day they’d come in and talk about my life. My past. My parents. Where I’d be without the Community. They hurt me.” He searched Holden’s face as the pinprick of his pain emanated from behind his shield. “And they didn’t feed me or let me out until I nodded and smiled and agreed. It took them over a year to get me to that point.”
Holden slumped against the window, but the powerful grip on his body didn’t allow him much space. He could still feel the erratic beating of Six’s heart, the pain that grew larger with each word until it throbbed like an open wound.
“Then they started working on my talent. Testing it.”
“Testing it how?” Holden asked hoarsely.
“Think of it as a psychic version of probing. I was strapped down and toyed with for months until they were certain I was impenetrable.” Six’s mouth curled down. “They brought in their most powerful psychics to experiment on me. Including your brother. He refused, and Jasper beat him so badly I thought he would die. I don’t know if your father knew about that. Sometimes he wasn’t here for months at a time.”
Holden’s hands shook. He clamped them on Six’s upper arms to keep them steady, but there was no stopping it. His entire world was crumbling around him, and the only person with the ability to ground him was the man in front of him.
“So I started to lie.” Six shook his head, and the muscles in his shoulders flexed with the movement. “No one knew I fucking hated them all. I let them turn me into their special tool, let them give me a job and a gun, and I did what I had to do while waiting for a way out.”
There was a ferocity in him that Holden had never seen before. It pinged more than his gift—it had his desire swarming and his hands tightening. The way his body responded to this man was completely unfair.
“Who did you kill?”
“A nobody like me. A kid they found with no parents and no family. The easiest victim in their eyes. Brought him to the CW, found his telepathy interesting, and dragged him here to poke and prod.” Six shook his head, lashes lowering until the shadows of his eyes were obscured. “He couldn’t handle it. He wasn’t like me. I tried to tell him to hold on, or to fake it, but he couldn’t because he could hear every thought they had. He knew what their plans for him were, and he wouldn’t let them bend him without a fight.”
“So he tried to escape.”
“No. He knew he wouldn’t escape, but he ran while knowing what would happen to me if I let him go.”
The weight of truth had already been resting on Holden’s shoulders, but that burden intensified. “He wanted to die.”
“Yes,” Six rasped. “I was only nineteen. And I hated myself. But I did what I had to do in order to survive. To make it. And to one day get out and destroy them all.”
The wound of his sadness grew more raw, and Holden felt it like the slide of a dagger penetrating skin and muscle to sink into his chest. Somehow, despite the shield, Six’s pain was becoming his own. Holden took it and kept taking as he pulled Six in and wrapped him in his arms. It was an awkward hug. Six stood ramrod straight, his arms dangling and hands limp, until Holden reached for Six’s grief with a more powerful grip and opened the channel between their minds. If he was going to take on the burden of Six’s sorrow, he would exchange it for his own compassion.
“Can you feel me?”
Six nodded jerkily, eyes opening wider and gleaming with wonder. “How are you doing this?”
“It just happens when I’m close to you. I don’t even try.”
“That’s impossible.”
“No.” Holden ignored the internal warnings that were screaming that his next words would be the final steps taken before he fell down the hole he’d been trying to avoid. “It’s not. There’s a connection between us that I don’t understand, but it’s there.”
He didn’t know what he’d expected after that declaration, but Six exuded sadness, self-loathing, and a brightening sense of relief. Relief. And it was directed at Holden.
“There’s something between us,” Six said. “I always knew there was. You were different.”
“Than who?”
“Than everyone.”
Holden looped his arms behind Six’s neck and pulled him in for another embrace. He wasn’t used to this need for closeness and affection, but he craved Six’s warmth. Now, he also craved their connection and tried his best to ease away Six’s hurt with the widening strands of his fondness.
“Kiss me,” Six rasped.
Shuddering, Holden said, “This is a really bad time for this.”
“I don’t care. I need you.” Six cupped the sides of Holden’s face and stared down at his mouth like a man starved. “Please let me feel something besides the anarchy in my fucked-up head.”
So that was what this was about. It made sense. And now that Holden could define what was happening and give it a name beyond an unwieldy and quickly spiraling attraction, he stopped resisting the demands of his own body. Crushed their lips together and slid his tongue into Six’s mouth with swipes that drew deep moans from the man he was ravishing.
The muscles beneath Holden’s hands were like rocks, the scruff against his face prickly—everything about Six was rough and hard. Yet instead of dominating Holden, Six worshiped his mouth. Explored every centimeter of the wet heat, moaning louder when Holden ripped his hair out of the loose knot it’d been tied in, and pressed their lower bodies together after several minutes of tonguing each other into an alternate universe. One where he could teach this impenetrable cipher how to open himself up and feel how much Holden wanted him.
“Can I fuck you?”
Holden’s dick went from hard to harder. He yanked Six tighter against him, and felt the wickedly stiff length of an erection against his own. “We’re about to be hunted down and dragged off for reprogramming,” he uttered. “Do you think it’s a good time?”
“I think it’s the best time. I could be inside you one more time before we die.”
“That’s really the last thing you want to do?”
“Yes,” Six said in a guttural growl. “And it’s not just the sex. When we fuck, I’m sucked into this light. This place made of goodness and happiness. It’s the best feeling in the world, and it’s because I’m with you.”
Holden sucked in a breath. “Maybe it’s just an orgasm you’re feeling.”
“No.” Six’s voice was a thunderclap, his fierce scowl a storm. “It’s you, Holden. You make me feel like someone else. Like someone new.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes. I always knew you were different. Special. I just didn’t know . . .” Six faltered, his confusion looking severe despite the softness emanating from his eyes. “I didn’t know I’d feel this way about you. The idea of you being hurt made me insane. I got here as fast as I could and the whole time it felt like someone was ripping my heart in shreds because I thought I’d be too late.”
No amount of even breathing could calm Holden’s stuttering pulse. Six was unlocking a part of him that had long been dormant. The part that craved intimacy beyond sex. That had once, long ago, wanted love. The most dangerous emotion he’d ever encountered and the one that had always scared him the most.
And he wasn’t scared now. The vulnerability of this moment, of Six’s burning eyes, sent adrenaline buzzing through his veins.
Could this be real?
“For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say I can have you one more time before we go back,” Six said urgently.
“After that speech, you don’t have to ask.”
Six’s face lit up, as though he’d really doubted Holden’s desire. He grabbed the back of Holden’s neck, drawing him into a kiss so hard he was left panting and gripping the front of Six’s shirt. Together they moved away from the window and down the short hallway. The bedroom they entered was nothing special—a single window covered by long, dusty drapes, a full-sized bed that should not have been able to contain Six’s large body, and a battered chest of drawers. It was lonely and a little sad, and Holden had just enough brain power left to realize how much he hated the idea of Six having lived here alone.
“Will we both fit on the bed?” he asked hoarsely.
“We’ll make it work.”
A small voice in the back of Holden’s mind reminded him that this was the worst possible time for a quick and tawdry tryst, but nothing about it felt tawdry or unnecessary. It felt like one last piece of humanity before it all went to hell.
They kissed harder, lips moving more hungrily the more anticipation built. Holden made short work of Six’s belt and pants, rucking them down to expose tight briefs straining over his dick. They’d been together twice, but Holden would never get over the size of Six. His mouth went dry at the thought that they’d be doing this with no lube, but the sharp ache of want inside of him overpowered everything else.
He lay on his back and impatiently kicked his pants off. When Six knelt between his thighs with his powerful body on full display, Holden nearly lost it. A sharp coil of pleasure burned through him, ending in a grunt and a trickle of pre-come sliding from his slit.
“Make it as wet as you can get it,” he said hoarsely. “And hold me open so I can watch.”
Six nodded wordlessly, the dark coals of his eyes zeroed in on Holden’s waiting hole. He swallowed visibly, throat working, before putting his fingers in his mouth to gather saliva. He trickled it over Holden’s ass twice, rubbing his fingers in the tight pucker and massaging the surrounding nerve endings until Holden was vibrating. It was all so real and raw, so careful and deliberate, and nothing like he’d felt with anyone but the man hovering over him. A man who’d never been with anyone else, but who managed to make this goddamn mind-blowing for Holden. He was quivering like he’d never been fingered before.
“I don’t have a condom,” Holden said.
“Do I need one?”
“You’ve never been with anyone, and I’m anal about getting checked.”
Six positioned the fat crown of his dick at Holden’s entrance. “Was that a joke?”
Holden released a half-hysterical laugh. “No. Please just fuck me.”
Six pushed inside of him, and Holden tensed. He’d never been with someone so large and strong and gentle at the same time. And never when danger was pressing in all around them.
“Shit.” Holden’s eyes rolled back, and he gripped handfuls of the tacky duvet. “Oh fuck, that hurts.”
“Too much?” Six asked roughly.
“No. Don’t pull out.”
Six gripped the undersides of Holden’s knees and held them up and open. The view was perfect. If this was the last thing Holden saw before brainwashed psychics came charging through the door, he wouldn’t complain. The only thing that made him happier than watching his ass stretch around a girthy dick was seeing the shudders going through a grown man’s body because of the pleasure that tightness was causing him. Right now, he had both. And once again, empathic dual fucking wasn’t needed. This was all Six.
Six pulled out an inch, pushed back in, and then repeated this process until he sank the remaining way. Holden’s body screamed in protest, his ass throbbing, but it mingled with electric currents of pleasure so shocking his eyes watered.
Six moved with deep, sure strokes and shattered the remaining resistance of Holden’s body. It gave way to the intrusion and then welcomed it with mind-numbing bursts of pleasure every time Six slammed into him again. The pain didn’t vanish, but it was just an edge on the very perimeter of the stunning reality of being fucked open wider than he’d ever been before.
Holden tossed his head back and didn’t attempt to swallow the animal-like grunts falling from his mouth. He held his thighs open wider and watched Six power in and out of his body. Cock aching, he was tempted to reach down and stroke it, but didn’t. He would do nothing to ruin this view. Not even when Six slowed and nearly pulled out entirely before pushing into him with another clean, sharp thrust.
“Yes,” Holden whispered. “Don’t stop until you come.”
Six hunched forward, hair sweaty and flying everywhere. “I’m close. Jerk yourself off.”
“Soon.”
Six sank deep again, and his eyes rolled back. “I want to feel this forever,” he uttered. “Feel you forever.”
Holden’s gut twisted. There was no time to process those words. Almost as soon as Six said them, he was steadily pumping into Holden again. His balls swinging, his fingers gripping, he slid into Holden so precisely that Holden was starting to fall to pieces. His toes curled and he began to shudder uncontrollably. He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as waves of pleasure spread from his sac and radiated through his body, but he couldn’t get back the control from even a minute ago.
He couldn’t get over how full he felt. How vulnerable it was to be this stretched open, and how unrelenting Six’s thrusts were. And then he realized, very abruptly, that he could feel Six in other ways as well. His pleasure, his dick being milked, and the absolute bliss of being inside Holden.
All of that welled up into a column and shot straight through the connection that had abruptly opened between them. Holden lost his damn mind.
“Oh fuck,” he cried out. He moved restlessly, arching up to meet the dick driving into him. He impaled himself faster, wanting more even though he was filled to the core. “Oh fuck, Sixtus.”
Six pulled out and jerked once before shooting hot jets of semen all over Holden’s still gaping hole. The feel of it pushed Holden over the edge. He grabbed his own erection and pumped frantically until his release tore through him before he was ready for it.
Holden went slack on the bed. He panted wildly without speaking. Six lay next to him and did the same.
The air crackled with tension. Desperate fucking and heat-of-the-moment declarations had a way of making things awkward after the fact. Or that’s what people had always told Holden about their trysts and hookups that took a quick turn toward complicated. He’d never experienced it himself. No one had ever confessed deep feelings for him, and he’d always written that off as it being a side effect of him being a pain.
Maybe that had been wrong.
Six had every reason to hate anyone with his last name, and he didn’t.
“I want to feel this forever. Feel you forever.”
Holden went to the tiny bathroom to wash up and tried not to wrestle with the pendulum of his mind. One side thought this was a prime example of Holden Payne being unable to keep his dick in his pants even during serious situations, but the other side just kept wondering if Six had meant what he’d said. But it wasn’t the time for those wonderings. That became even more apparent when Holden’s wavering mental shield pinged three distinct sets of impressions in their vicinity.
“Six,” he said sharply, rushing out of the bathroom. “Someone’s coming.”