They walked up to Eleventh Avenue through the increasingly cold wind until Six silently led him to a place between Forty-fourth and Forty-third streets. There was an empty lot on the spot with a gate around it and the beginning signs of construction.
“I mean, I guess it’s possible that the construction workers would have been here on Christmas to share their sandwiches . . .”
Six gave him a cold look. “There used to be a diner here. It was my favorite place to eat.”
“Welp, now it’s being turned into . . .” Holden squinted at the sign on the gate. “A high-rise apartment building.”
In an uncharacteristic show of absolute sullen irritation, Six kicked the gate. “Fucking New York. This shit always happens.”
“What always happens?”
“They tear everything down to make way for chain stores or condos. This place had real character,” Six said, pointing at the empty lot. “It was here for decades. Rat Pack era. The Westies used to go there.”
“The who?”
Six glared. “Where is your family from, man?”
“The Paynes have been in Manhattan since the turn of the century.”
“What part of Manhattan?”
“Upper East Side.”
“Then you do not count.”
“How nice of you.” This was sort of amusing, and a nice distraction from the emo mess Holden had been not even ten minutes ago. Who knew real estate in NYC was what really got Sixtus going? “Now tell me what a Westie is.”
“It’s an Irish American gang that ran Hell’s Kitchen until the nineties. But it doesn’t matter. Clearly everything from that era will be bulldozed to make way for twenty-year-olds from out of town.” Six kicked the gate again. “This used to be my favorite spot.”
“When?”
“Before I went to the Farm, I’d scrap for money and get dinner here. Over a decade ago.”
“A decade ago?” Holden demanded. “They had you upstate for that long?”
“Yes. I was upstate for most of the past fifteen years and worked there for about ten.”
“Christ. No wonder you’re a virgin with no social skills.”
Six’s eyes narrowed. “What happened to your hypothesis about me just being a cyborg with no empathy?”
“Do you really have no empathy? I can’t tell if it’s really blocked because of your mental shield or if you’re just . . . an asshole.”
Six kept giving him the same irritated look. “My shield is so strong that I can’t remove it, and it blocks out everything. Most people can tell when someone is tense or annoyed even without psychic powers. But I can’t. At all. It’s the same reason why I have difficulties with sarcasm. And jokes. And why my social life is lacking.”
“I’d say being forced to work at an isolated farm as a goddamn security guard for ten years would have more of an impact on your social life.”
“Heh. You just might be right.”
They went back to staring at the lot, and Holden’s mind returned to his father. He’d taken Six off a ten-year stint on the Farm to babysit Holden. Regardless of whether Six was really invested in the assignment or if he knew anything more than what he’d been told, he was still there to keep an eye on Holden.
The relief to be doing and thinking about something other than Elijah and Chase crashed into fiery bits at Holden’s feet. There was no way to escape the questions surrounding the Comm and the situation with Beck, because he was constantly reminded that his own father was part of the reason there was so much uncertainty in the first place.
“I don’t feel like eating anymore.”
“Fine.” Six shoved his hands into his pockets, looked Holden up and down, and then started to turn away.
Holden grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place. “Wait.”
“What?”
“I wasn’t trying to dismiss you from my presence, Sixtus. I just have no appetite.” He sensed Six about to yank away and held on tighter. “We could do something else.”
“Like what?”
“Go back to my place,” Holden said. “Talk. Drink.” He licked his chapped lips, wishing he could read Six. With anyone else, he’d be able to dive into that mental space and figure out exactly what they wanted from him. Then he could give it to them, or figure out how to make them want something else. The absence of that ability, that privilege, was putting him on edge. Making him feel more out of control than he’d ever felt before. “Fuck.”
Six turned to him again, regarding Holden closely. It was that moment, that hesitation, that let Holden know he had a real shot at Six. Not just fucking him, but getting close to him. Maybe even close enough to earn his trust.
“Fucking you seems to come at a price, and I’m not really in the mood to debate with you about how to pay.”
“Did I ask you for anything? The only negotiating I’m interested in right now is trying to convince you that coming home with me would lead to activities a lot more . . . enjoyable than freezing our asses off by the river. Unless . . .” Holden’s brows hiked up. “Unless you think my father wouldn’t approve of you screwing the person you’ve been hired to spy on.”
Six’s mouth twitched.
“And unless you’re more worried about his approval than getting laid for the first time since your extended . . . assignment upstate. I guess I could see why the opinion of some dull old rich guy is more important than getting your dick suc—”
“Shut up, Holden.”
Holden was almost positive that was the first time Six had said his first name. His stomach went hollow, his heart pounding a little faster. It was a reaction he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Not since his childhood crush had first kissed him, nailed him, and then turned out to be interested in nothing more than Holden’s psychic abilities and last name. Psy chasers were the worst of the worst, and the mostly void psychics in the Community were ruthless if they thought they could social climb. The hierarchy of the Community had a way of bringing out the worst side of people. Beck was an extreme example in that regard.
“So are we going or what?”
Six turned his dark eyes to the empty lot again. He regarded it, the space where his favorite restaurant used to be before the city had moved ahead and left him behind, and then slowly nodded.
“We’re going. And my place is closer.”
Six’s apartment had absolutely no character. It was the biggest waste of a large loft-style space that Holden had ever seen.
There were gorgeous hardwood floors, exposed bricks, a freight elevator, and high vaulted ceilings. The windows were incredible—floor to ceiling, which allowed for amazing lighting, but little to no furniture for it to shine on. With the exception of a small television with rabbit ear antennas, a rickety-looking futon sitting against the wall, and a mattress on the floor in the farthest corner from the windows, there was nothing in the apartment besides a standing wardrobe. Holden was tempted to look inside of it and see if it contained half skintight T-shirts and half skintight polos bought from Conways—if that place even existed anymore.
Holden stood in the middle of the empty space, looking around in disbelief. “How long have you been here?”
“A couple of weeks,” Six said, unzipping his coat.
“I thought you grew up here.”
The comment earned him another of those unimpressed stares. “I grew up in the area back before it was overcome with rich yuppies, but not in this particular apartment. Your father gave me the keys to this place when he put me on the assignment at Evolution.”
Holden froze for a single moment before scanning every surface of the place. “How do you know there aren’t cameras in here?”
“Ha.” Six kicked off his sneakers. “You trust your father that little?”
“It never would have occurred to me before, but things are different now.” Holden slowly unzipped his own jacket. “And I don’t think you’d want him knowing what’s about to happen.”
“I don’t know what’s about to happen.”
Either this guy had negative one million game or he was playing coy. Something about Six’s blank expression and loose body language told Holden he wasn’t fooling around. He appeared to have no idea what to expect from Holden now that they were in the apartment together.
“How is it possible that no one has tried to get in your pants?”
“I’m not the most personable human.”
“That’s for certain,” Holden said with a snort. “But you’re gorgeous. The combination of your skin color and black hair is gorgeous. If you weren’t such an asshole, I could probably get lost in your eyes. They’re beautiful.”
“A woman at the Farm told me I had devil eyes, and the description got around. For ten years, that was my nickname. Devil Eyes.”
“I’m sure it didn’t help that you’re not . . . personable.” Holden crossed the large room to drape his wool coat over the side of the futon. Once there, he also kicked off his shoes. “But I have a hard time believing nobody at the Farm tried to seduce the hot security guard. I’d think you being silent and mysterious would add to the intrigue.”
“That’s because you’ve never experienced the real Farm,” Six said. “Most people who are there for an extended period of time know better than to try for any fraternizing. They’re there for realignment, not to get their rocks off. And trying to fuck around with anyone was a guaranteed way to extend your realignment. It shows lack of investment in the Community and focus.”
“Wanting to fuck shows a lack of investment in the Community? That is absolutely absurd.”
“I don’t disagree, but that is the general belief of the type of people who work at the Farm.” Six lifted his sweatshirt over his head and tossed it onto the futon with Holden’s jacket. Beneath it, he wore a gray T-shirt that clearly illustrated every line of his torso. “Anyone who volunteers to live there, isolated from the rest of the fucking world, and signs all the confidentiality agreements, is basically a fanatic.”
“But not you?”
“I didn’t volunteer to be there.”
The statement was so loaded that Holden didn’t feel he could respond. They weren’t nearly close enough to be going down this road. All the questions that sprang to mind made it very clear how little faith he was beginning to have in the Community, and he could not show that much of his doubt to one of his father’s employees. Even if he didn’t want to believe it was all as terrible as Lia claimed, it was clear there was a growing element within the organization that would do anything possible to protect the integrity of the place. Even if that integrity was a lie.
Holden flashed a smile, hoping it wasn’t strained, and stepped closer to Six. With his hands sliding up that hard chest and over those big shoulders, he sort of felt like he was starring in a porn video. It was over-the-top seduction, more effort than he usually put forth when the cards were on the table about where this was going, but he felt the need to ease Six into it. It wasn’t like with Stefen—his bouncer—who’d been inexperienced but an open book for Holden to read. Every attempt to get an impression from Six, which Holden found himself doing automatically every now and then, resulted in a faint static shock.
Holden had been with a lot of men who claimed to be straight, but he’d never actually been with a virgin. Not since high school, anyway. If there was a middle ground between wanting to be considerate of someone’s first time while also planning to fuck Six into trusting him enough to spill information, Holden hadn’t found it.
“Just so we’re clear, you do want to lose your V card, yes? I’m not nudging an ace guy into something he doesn’t really have interest in? Because that’s not my style.”
Six reacted to the question as much as he was reacting to Holden’s hands on him—not at all. Just even breathing and intense staring.
“I’m not asexual.”
“So virgin by lack of opportunity.”
“Correct.”
Holden pulled off his own sweater. He suppressed a shudder once his bare skin was exposed to the cold air in the apartment. There didn’t appear to be any heat on, which further fed his theory that Six was at least part cyborg. The man wasn’t even shivering.
“Are you gay? Bi? Pan?”
“I’m attracted to both men and women.” He had no intonation as he spoke, but in that moment something in Six’s demeanor changed. A slight tensing of his body, like he was bracing for a blow, before his gaze flicked to the window and back to Holden’s face. “But I haven’t felt anything for anyone in a long time.”
“No hot psychics at the Farm?”
“No.”
“Not once in all those years?”
Six’s mouth tightened at the sides before he said, “Not once. Like I said, there was no fraternizing. It wasn’t the type of place that allowed you to get close to people. Or notice people in a sexual way.”
There was no way Holden believed people at the Farm were so focused on their realignment to the Comm that they didn’t notice the people around them. Regardless of someone’s dedication or faith, people were people. And people craved human interaction, whether it was sexual or simple friendship. Holden could not imagine how living in a place so isolated for an extended time would not lead to close connections.
“Are you saying you notice me in a sexual way, Sixtus Rossi? I assumed you were just taking the first proposition to come your way.”
“Both.” Six paused for half a breath before taking a step closer. Those dark eyes ran over Holden slowly, analyzing every inch of his body, before returning to rest on his face. Cyborg or not, Six couldn’t have hidden the heat in his gaze even if he’d tried. Whether he liked Holden as a person or not was up in the air, but there was absolutely no denying that he wanted him. “I noticed your eyes first. You have psy-kid eyes.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning they glow when you try to do your thing. And since your eyes are hazel, they look golden when you extend your gift. Like a hawk.”
“That’s . . . No one has ever mentioned that before.”
“Most people don’t notice. They’re too busy doing other things to pay attention to a half-second flash of light they’d likely write off as a figment of their imagination.”
“But you always pay attention,” Holden said. “Or else you can’t read people.”
“Correct.”
Holden slowly nodded. He’d have to take a video of himself reaching out with his gift some time. “What else did you notice?”
Six’s lips tilted up. “You fishing for compliments?”
“Absolutely. I love hearing how attractive I am.”
“I’m sure you hear it a lot.”
“Yes. But not from someone like you.”
“Heh.” Six took another step closer. “I also noticed that mouth of yours. Never shuts up, but it’s fun to look at. Especially when you’re nervous and you start licking your lips. That’s what really got my attention. That damp sheen on your mouth. I couldn’t stop staring even when you were pissing me off.”
Six reached up to rub his thumb over Holden’s lower lip, and this time there was no hesitation. For all that he claimed to have no experience, his hands were steady. Holden found himself yet again trying to reach out with his gift, to see if Six was nervous, but felt nothing except the physical touch sending heat soaring through his body.
“I kept thinking about it when I got home,” Six said, voice getting huskier. “Was the first time I’d gotten hard thinking about a real person in a long-ass time.”
Holden’s heart skipped a beat. “What do you usually think about?”
“No one in particular. I usually just jerk off if I’m too tense to sleep.”
God, but Holden would pay to watch his cyborg jerk off. Slumped in a chair or spread open on a bed, meat in his hand as he slowly lost control.
“Are you trying to turn me on, Six?”
“Yeah. It working?”
Holden nodded. “Yes, I would say so. Like I said, I was half-convinced you weren’t really into this.”
“Considerate, but you couldn’t convince me to do something unless I wanted to do it.” Six’s brow lifted. “I know you’re used to influencing people with your empath shit.”
“Wrong.” Holden’s smile grew wider and sharper. “I don’t influence people into fucking me. If I project, I tell them I’m doing it. Most people get off on it. Especially another empath. They’re fun to take to bed. I get the sensations of fucking while being fucked, and it’s glorious. It’s led to many a hands-free orgasm.”
Six visibly swallowed. His hands curled into loose fists. “So sleeping with an impenetrable will be boring for you?”
“Don’t be silly. Sex is never boring.” Holden reached out to slide Six’s sweatpants down and took the underwear with them. He expected resistance, but got none. Before his body was ready, he was staring at flawless skin, a six-pack he’d like to eat off of, thick thighs, and the thick length of Six’s cock. “You’re extremely hard.”
“I’m extremely horny.”
Holden’s breath caught right before he released a slow exhale. He gripped Six’s shoulders and guided him backward, totally getting off on the arousal flushing Six’s skin and causing pre-come to pearl at the tip of his dick. Holden gently pushed him down onto the futon and knelt between those powerful thighs. He could smell musk, and that made him ache.
Six tensed, every muscle flexing. “I’m nervous.”
Holden looked up from the thick column in front of him. That dick should have been halfway down his throat by now, but he kept hesitating. And Six’s admission, so calmly stated, held him back even more. He hadn’t wanted to bottom for someone this much in a long time, but maybe they’d work their way up to that.
“Are you certain you want to do this with me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Six tilted his head back against the wall and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “Because I haven’t been around someone like you in a long time.”
“Someone like what?”
“Someone who speaks their mind, no matter how fucking stupid or annoying what they’re saying is, and who isn’t afraid . . . to want things besides what the Community wants.” Six’s fingers dug into the cushion. He was so clearly nervous, but he spoke evenly, and with an intensity that heated Holden to the core. “It turns me on. You turn me on. Even though I think you’re a spoiled brat half the time, I still want to fuck you until you come harder than you have with any empath.”
“Then let’s make it happen, Sixtus.”
Holden grinned right before he leaned forward and flicked his tongue at the tip of Six’s dick. Six tasted good. Strong. Heady enough for Holden to wrap his fingers around the base of that dick. He wanted to take his time and enjoy the pre-come trickling onto his tongue. He lapped at it, savoring each drop no matter how small, and promised to pace himself. Right now his own erection was throbbing and his gut was coiling even while fluttering with excitement, but he needed to make this last.
With one more lick from base to tip, Holden glanced up at Six. He’d closed his eyes, but his brows were pushed together and his lips were parted. It was a pretty enough picture that Holden caught himself gazing up at this work of art in awe instead of worshiping the dick bobbing wetly in front of his mouth.
“Please don’t stop,” Six whispered. “Feels so good.”
“What does it feel like?” Holden asked, dropping wet kisses on each of Six’s muscular thighs. “Describe it.”
“It feels like you crawled into my skin and turned me inside out.”
“Mmm.” Holden nuzzled Six’s balls before kissing up the side of his dick again. “If you think that now, I can’t wait until you fuck me.”
Six’s eyes slit open, endless night in a face currently creased with restrained pleasure. “Me either.”
Holden rewarded that answer by taking Six so deep in his mouth that his lips stretched wide and pubic hair brushed the tip of his nose.
“Christ, Holden,” Six said in a low guttural voice. “Oh my God.”
There was nothing to do in response but look up and flash a mischievous smile. Then he started to suck in earnest. He loved it. Loved the strain of his mouth, the ache of his neck, and the feel of those powerful hands bracing the back of his head in an effort to get deeper. Even while almost choking before finding a rhythm to accommodate Six’s size, Holden immersed himself in the feeling of his mouth being used and the image of Six’s large masculine body hunching over him. And without the ability to dive into Six’s head and experience his side of things, the way Holden had with so many other lovers, all he could do was focus on the taste and smell.
The strength in Six’s hands was enough of a turn-on by itself. Pairing it with Six’s decadent moans was almost too much for Holden to take. He reached down with one hand to stroke his own erection, needing some relief as his mouth was invaded.
What had started as tentative thrusts elevated into fingers twining tightly in his hair as Six slid in and out of his mouth. He’d widened his thighs and was humping Holden’s face with such force that his balls slapped Holden’s chin. Six seemed determined to get in as deep as possible, and Holden was happy to open wide and make that happen. Happy to be nothing more than a vessel of pleasure for this poor beautiful man who’d gone untouched for so long.
“I’m gonna come.”
It was said like a warning, or a signal for Holden to stop. That wasn’t his style. He grabbed the base again and pumped the saliva-covered shaft until hot spurts of semen hit the back of his throat. Six’s shocked moans nearly sounded like sobs. Holden relished in the noises as well as the erotic taste bursting over his tongue. Only when he’d swallowed every drop, did he back off.
Six’s breath was ripping out of him in loud gasps as he slowly unwound his fingers from Holden’s hair. He was locked up and tense, chest heaving. With his brows pushed together and arched, eyelashes damp, and lips parted, he looked like he’d just lost his mind.
Sitting back on his haunches, Holden ignored his own erection and simply feasted on Six’s body. On his blown-away expression, curled toes, and gripping fingers. The beauty of his hard tattooed biceps, cut abs, and thick thighs made him exactly the kind of man Holden would have normally taken great pride in undoing. It would have felt like a conquest, and the gloating would have been on another level of obnoxious. But this was different. There was no smugness turning up Holden’s mouth or dragging sassy comments out. He just stared at the stoic man whose voice had gone so high and vulnerable as he came, and wanted more. Wanted to get inside his head and figure out what Six was feeling besides the sated ecstasy of just having had an orgasm.
Holden put his hands on Six’s knees and slid them up his thighs. Six’s eyes slit open so he could gaze at Holden beneath his lashes.
“Do you want to stop?”
Six opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. He cleared his throat. “No, but you need to give me a few minutes to get hard again.”
Holden didn’t try to hide his big smile.
“We can do other things in the meantime.”
Six’s gaze skimmed him again. “Like what?”
“Are you opposed—”
His phone interrupted, ringing loudly in his pocket. Irritation warmed Holden, but he jerked it out. Ignoring the call was a necessity if he was going to keep this sex train running before Six got skittish and changed his mind, but it was Lia’s name flashing on the screen.
“I need to take this,” he reluctantly said.
“Do what you need to do.”
Holden needed to climb on that dick and ride it like a cowboy once Six was hard again, but that wasn’t in the cards right now. He stood up and paced away from the futon, facing the large windows that looked out on the Hudson. The late-evening sun was a beautiful deep gold reflecting off the water, which should have been an enchanting view, but his gut was clenching in anticipation for whatever Lia would say to him now.
“Holden,” she said, breathless. “Elijah’s gone.”
“What—” Holden glanced at Six, who was keenly watching him. “What do you mean—gone?”
“We got in an argument about you, so I walked out, but I felt bad about the way I’d left things, so I returned. I found his door cracked, that apartment ransacked, and no Elijah. He’s fucking gone.”