Kelly lay in bed, staring sightlessly through the dark. He was restless but also bone-tired, so he couldn’t even get up the energy to fidget. His heart ached, and Nick’s warmth next to him seemed to be making it worse instead of better.
Nick was just as restless, but he’d fallen victim to his pain pills and drifted off into what seemed like a torturous sleep. He was tossing and turning, murmuring in languages Kelly recognized but didn’t know how to translate. Every now and then, Nick would gasp and his entire body would tense, leaving Kelly bracing for impact. It hadn’t come yet, though, so Kelly was left to ponder the day.
And it had been a hellish day.
After reading Eli’s instructions, Nick had quietly gotten up and excused himself. He’d taken a few minutes for himself, then come back to tell Kelly he wanted to do this. He needed to do this. Kelly had said he wasn’t strong enough yet, and Nick had merely nodded and disappeared down the stairs without another peep.
The fact that he hadn’t argued, hadn’t fought for it, worried Kelly more than the fact that he wanted to do it in the first place.
He tossed his head, huffing loudly and squeezing his eyes closed. If he could just get his mind to stop whirring for a few minutes, he’d be able to find sleep. He rolled the other way, reaching carefully across the crumpled sheets to press the tips of his fingers to Nick’s back. Nick tensed with the touch, and Kelly withdrew his hand. What the hell was he doing? Just because he couldn’t sleep didn’t mean he had the right to wake Nick as well. It was rare enough for Nick to be able to sleep at all lately; he deserved it, even if it was laced with bad dreams.
Kelly was haunted by the look he’d seen in Nick’s eyes when they’d read Eli’s letter that afternoon, surrounded by all of Eli’s favorite things. It almost overrode the heartache from watching that video of Nick and a stranger, together in this bed . . . in these sheets.
Kelly rolled to his back again, giving his head a violent shake as if he could actually rid himself of the images. He’d rather think about Eli’s letters than that.
Kelly had expected Nick to drop everything right then and get on the phone to the other guys to tell them about Eli’s letters. But Nick had asked Kelly first. Asked him for his opinion. Hell, asked him for permission. But Nick had been through enough in the last year, and Eli was dead. He could wait until Nick was stronger.
And judging by the occasional whimper coming from Nick as he slept, he wasn’t strong enough now. He just wasn’t fucking strong enough for this.
Kelly peered at Nick through the darkness. He’d gone still and quiet since Kelly had touched him, curled on his side with his back to Kelly. No more murmurs, no more soft breaths or gasps. He was so still . . .
He wasn’t even breathing.
Kelly jerked, heart pounding as he frantically flashed back through the previous times in their lives he’d found Nick not breathing. He grasped for Nick’s shoulder, tugging him flat. “Irish?”
Nick rolled and pounced so fast that Kelly had no time to switch gears from panicking to defending himself. By the time he realized what had happened—that Nick had been playing possum—Nick had him pinned to the mattress with a knife at his throat.
“Nick,” Kelly gasped.
Nick hissed at him, shushing him. Then he said something that might have been Dari, which told Kelly where Nick thought he was, if not when. He wasn’t sure, though, and all he could really hear was his blood rushing through his ears anyway.
“O’Flaherty,” Kelly tried. When he spoke, the movement of his jaw pressed his skin against the blade, drawing blood. He raised his chin, but Nick pressed harder into him. “Nick. It’s Doc.”
The faint smell of blood reached Kelly’s nose, and his body went cold. He knew what Nick could and would do to him, what they could do to each other, if this went wrong. He went still, praying that Nick would snap out of it in time, that the scent of blood wouldn’t trigger whatever Nick had been trying to bury since he’d returned from his last deployment.
Nick’s breaths were harsh against his face, his body coiled and hard and ready for battle. The blade wasn’t cool, meaning that wherever Nick had been hiding it, he’d been holding on to it long enough to warm the steel.
Slowly he began to relax against Kelly. The knife let up, leaving a burning line behind that began to trickle down the side of Kelly’s neck. Kelly didn’t dare move, though, not yet.
“Doc,” Nick gasped.
Kelly puffed a breath. It was the only sound he dared to make. He felt Nick shifting over him. A moment later, he heard the knife thump to the ground beside the bed.
“Oh God,” Nick grunted.
Kelly breathed out slowly, almost light-headed from the rush of relief.
“Are you okay?” Nick asked shakily.
“Yeah.” Kelly managed a nervous laugh. “Yeah, sure. Terrified and a little turned on. You know . . . typical Friday night.”
“I’m sorry. I thought . . . I . . .”
Nick placed a hand on Kelly’s chest, patting him like he meant to soothe him, or perhaps to assure himself that Kelly was okay. Kelly reached for him, trying to make contact in order to ground Nick until he could reach the lamp switch. His fingers grazed against Nick’s bearded cheek, and he touched him carefully.
Nick grabbed his wrist, squeezing it hard enough to make Kelly wince, and slammed it against the mattress, then straddled Kelly’s thighs.
Kelly couldn’t see him, but he could sure as hell feel him. He tensed again, preparing to defend himself, violently if he needed to. He’d never seen Nick snap out of it and then fall back in like this. His free hand fumbled for the bedside table, for the light switch or something—anything—heavy enough to do damage. He didn’t want to hurt Nick, but he didn’t want to fucking die, either.
Then Nick pressed him into the mattress and kissed him, forcing his knee between Kelly’s splayed legs, rolling his hips to rub his hardening cock against Kelly’s as he bit and sucked at Kelly’s lip. It only took Kelly a few seconds to catch up, and when he did, he wrapped his arms around Nick, returning the fervent kisses with just as much hunger.
“Kisses are so much better than knives,” he murmured into Nick’s mouth. “Just . . . so you know.”
Nick hummed against his lips, hooked a hand under Kelly’s knee, and lifted it so he could rut against his ass. “Did I hurt you?”
Kelly shook his head. “Not hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Nick whispered, then kissed him again, tongue and teeth turning it into anything but apologetic.
The angle of Kelly’s leg was almost at critical mass, and he began struggling to try to get it free. He was still returning the kisses enthusiastically, moaning with every nip of Nick’s teeth, with every demanding push of his hips.
He bucked his hips when Nick pulled him too far and pain shot down his cold hamstring. Kelly brought his free hand up and twisted it into Nick’s hair, yanking hard enough to hurt him. Nick winced, jerking his head up with a gasp. They remained that way for long, tense seconds, staring into the darkness, trying to see each other, unable to do anything but feel and hear. Kelly’s breaths were ragged, and his body raged like a wildfire everywhere Nick had touched him. A trickle of blood made its way down his throat toward his hairline.
Nick’s breathing was as loud as the waves against the hull, his body taut as a bowstring waiting to be plucked.
“What?” Kelly finally snapped.
Nick answered with a wordless grunt as he pressed their bodies flush again, bearing down on Kelly’s arm with one hand and letting go of Kelly’s leg with the other. He dragged his teeth over Kelly’s collarbone and neck instead, his hand roaming up Kelly’s rib cage at an alarmingly leisurely pace. Kelly groaned and writhed beneath him, his eyes rolling up before they closed completely. A moan slipped unbidden from between his lips.
Nick kissed him again, obviously spurred on by the sound. Before the kiss had ended, Nick had his fingers at Kelly’s throat, the pads resting under Kelly’s jawbone, just where he liked them. Kelly could feel the blood smearing against the paper-thin cut under his jaw.
“Oh God, babe.” Kelly’s voice was harsh and needy, and Nick’s cock twitched against his ass when he spoke. Nick loved it when he begged. And Kelly loved it when Nick made him want to beg.
“God’s not here,” Nick snarled into his ear.
Nick let go of Kelly’s neck and bunched his fingers in Kelly’s hair, yanking his head back. His lips moved over Kelly’s face, finally resting against his temple. “Roll the fuck over, babe.”
Kelly was trying to do it before he even had a chance to think it through. He twisted his hips, pushing off with one foot even as he was still submitting to Nick’s lips on his. Nick’s tongue was in his mouth, sucking, licking, forcing Kelly to kiss him back or be lost to it.
Kelly’s shoulders were still flat on the bed, but he’d managed to turn his hips as far as they could possibly go with Nick holding him down like he was. He gave his arm a tug, trying to loosen Nick’s hold so he could turn over like he’d been instructed. Nick’s fingers tightened over his wrist. He let go of Kelly’s hair, though, and reached under the pillow above Kelly’s head, his entire body sliding up Kelly’s, his abs pushing into Kelly’s, his hard cock dragging against Kelly’s ass cheek.
“Let me turn,” Kelly grunted, giving his arm another pointed tug. “On my knees.”
He felt Nick shake his head. The bottle of lube that they kept under their pillows had enough left in it for tonight. Kelly heard the top pop open.
“Yeah, babe,” he gasped, his heart speeding at the mere thought of Nick fucking him in this mood. “Please, Nicko. Please.”
Nick didn’t let Kelly’s wrist go, and Kelly didn’t blame him. If he got free, he would probably ruin whatever plan Nick had by jacking himself off to the thought of how fucking green Nick’s eyes must be. He started fumbling around for the lamp instead, knocking over things on the table, whimpering in desperation because the sudden desire to see Nick’s eyes was almost a physical need.
Two of Nick’s slick fingers slid into Kelly, then twisted, spreading him apart. Kelly cried out and tried to move his hips for better access, but Nick had one of Kelly’s legs trapped between his knees. Kelly raised his free leg, pulling his knee up toward his chin. He wrapped his free hand around it, but almost immediately lay out again on his back, reaching for the table.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick breathed, and he delved into another kiss as he grabbed Kelly’s calf and shoved it up and over his shoulder.
Kelly knocked over his glass of water, and it shattered when it hit the floor. Nick grunted and trapped Kelly’s other hand, yanking it behind his back, almost like he would when arresting a suspect who’d been fighting. Kelly had no limbs under his own control right now—he was all twisted around on his side with his ass in the air, his leg over Nick’s shoulder, and both hands held down. It was a beautiful restraining job. Kelly had seen Nick do it several times while sparring, using his broad shoulders and dense muscles, his deceptive flexibility that came with them, to his advantage.
Kelly closed his eyes, breathing out shakily. Nick’s cock pushed at his ass, and Kelly tilted his hips upward to help the entry. Nick didn’t need help, though. He shoved into Kelly, grunting and gasping as he worked in deeper with every roll of his hips.
“Oh,” Kelly managed, and the word was so quiet and so pitiful, he wasn’t even sure what he’d been going for there, but all he knew now was the shaft of Nick’s cock spreading him wide, the head of Nick’s cock boring into him.
Nick didn’t let up once he’d sunk himself deep inside him. He released Kelly’s other hand, though, using his body weight to keep Kelly down as he thrust into him. “Roll over,” he ordered again, a little more breathless this time.
Kelly pushed his heel against the mattress and reached for the headboard, trying to move, to break Nick’s hold so he could roll to his belly. Nick picked up his pace, ripping a cry from Kelly as he writhed and pleaded for more.
He kept trying to turn, but Nick’s hold was unbreakable. “Babe,” he pleaded. “Nick. I can’t roll if you don’t let me go.”
“Then fucking get creative,” Nick snarled before he bit down on Kelly’s collarbone and pulled down on Kelly’s shoulder. He was moving his knees, bringing them in closer to Kelly’s ass. He was either going for better leverage or a new angle, and Kelly redoubled his efforts at rolling over. Whatever Nick had in mind next, he wanted to be a part of it. He needed to be on his knees. Needed it.
He struggled to get there, and with every movement of his body, Nick was making the most obscene noises. Groaning and huffing, grunts that trailed off into the tiniest of whimpers that swept over Kelly’s body and raised goose bumps all over his skin. He bit Kelly’s lip, keeping it between his teeth as he shoved his cock all the way in. He rolled his hips, spreading Kelly wide, laying him bare as they kissed.
Cries and pleas for mercy followed, but each one fell on deaf ears as Nick maintained his punishing rhythm. Kelly grabbed at Nick with his one free hand, twisting in his hair, scratching down his arm, groping for Nick’s hip so he could feel the sinuous movements.
He was still trying to turn one way or the other, but Nick had him in what amounted to a wrestler’s hold. Kelly didn’t remember this move from his high school wrestling team, though.
Nick pulled Kelly’s captive arm down toward their bodies. His other hand found a handful of Kelly’s hair, and Kelly cried out when he gripped it too hard and yanked Kelly’s head back. He almost immediately let go, though, and when he trailed his fingers down Kelly’s face and across his lips, his touches were gentle, reverent. He slipped his thumb across Kelly’s lower lip, cradling Kelly’s head in one large palm.
“Nick,” Kelly gasped.
Nick kissed him, slowing his rhythm until his thrusts were so slow that Kelly could feel every inch of his cock slipping into him. Kelly writhed, not even sure what he was seeking. Nick pressed their lips together so gently they were barely even real kisses.
“More,” Kelly blurted. He reached for Nick, gouging his fingernails down Nick’s back to spur him on, bucking his hips. He almost succeeded in turning, using the leverage from his leg over Nick’s shoulder, but then Nick pushed up onto his knees, lifting Kelly’s lower half completely off the bed, leaving Kelly to scramble for something to grasp onto.
Nick sank deeper into him as he repositioned him, though Kelly hadn’t thought that was possible. He let out an outraged howl, his body bowing, every piece of him trembling and burning and screaming for release. Nick leaned over him, still holding his ass off the bed, still entangled with his legs so he couldn’t get away. Kelly begged for mercy in whispered words that he wasn’t sure were coming out.
“Say it again,” Nick ordered in a threadbare voice.
“Please,” Kelly whispered.
Nick leaned back and handily dismantled all that hard work Kelly had done to roll over. He wrapped Kelly’s legs around his waist, his hands gentle and then rough, caressing and then gripping hard. He laid Kelly out in front of him, then slipped his hands under Kelly’s shoulders to hold him close.
He turned his face against Kelly’s, their cheeks brushing, his lips grazing Kelly’s ear. “Say it again.”
Kelly whimpered as he tried to get away, tried to get closer, tried to make Nick fuck him harder, tried to make it end. His hands were splayed against Nick’s back, the raised ridges of scars under his palms, the irregular pattern of a tattoo inked a little too deep disrupting the smooth skin under Kelly’s palms. He trembled under Kelly’s touch.
“Please,” Kelly shouted. Nick rolled his hips pointedly, the swollen head of his cock massaging Kelly’s prostate.
He pressed his lips to Kelly’s, the tips of their noses resting together. “I love you,” he gasped, never letting up on the rhythm of his thrusts, refusing to grant Kelly a moment of respite as his words and caresses turned tender.
“Nick.” The name might as well have been a prayer on Kelly’s lips. “Oh God, please. I love you. I love you. Please!”
Nick kissed him to silence him, and moments later Kelly was coming, struggling to move as Nick clamped down on him, grasping at Nick and pleading for mercy, crying out his name over and over until his voice was even more abused than his body.
It seemed to go on forever, until Kelly was seeing stars, until he couldn’t breathe anything but the scent of Nick’s body, until Nick’s moans of his name filled his ears, until Nick was all he knew.
Kelly’s body was still aflame, the ache settling bone deep by the time Nick carefully pulled out. They both moaned, breaths coming at a premium, each other’s names mingling between them as Nick rolled off Kelly and took Kelly with him.
They faced each other in the darkness, Kelly’s leg resting on Nick’s hip, neither of them capable of speaking yet. After a few torturous seconds of silence, Nick rolled away from him, his body straining under Kelly’s leg. Then the light on Nick’s side of the bed flipped on, searing right through Kelly’s retinas.
“Oh, you dickbag,” Kelly muttered, trying to shield his eyes and turning his head away from the measly light of the forty-watt bulb in that stupid fucking lamp.
“Sorry,” Nick murmured as he rolled back to face Kelly. He was reaching for Kelly’s face, and he pushed at Kelly’s jaw, making him tilt his head up.
His fingers were gentle on Kelly’s neck and chin, but Kelly was frowning as he stared into Nick’s eyes. They weren’t bright, shining green like he’d imagined.
“What are you doing?” Kelly asked, keeping his voice to a whisper because speaking any louder felt wrong.
“You’ve got blood all over you,” Nick told him, tearing his eyes away from Kelly’s neck to meet his eyes. “I cut you.”
Kelly nodded and reached to press three fingers to the throbbing area he thought was the source of the blood.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
Kelly pursed his lips and shook his head, looking down at the blood on his fingers and then back to Nick. “It’s nothing. I’ve bled more than this shaving when the water’s choppy.”
Nick didn’t look convinced. His eyes strayed back to the cut.
“Nick. You just smeared it everywhere with your hand, it’s really not bad.” Kelly took Nick’s hand and turned it over to show him.
He realized his mistake too late as he watched the color drain from Nick’s already ashen countenance.
“Babe,” Kelly whispered carefully.
Nick tore his attention away from his bloody hand and met Kelly’s eyes. He licked his lips and nodded jerkily. “I’ll get a cloth to clean it up,” he croaked, and began to roll away.
Kelly grabbed for him, digging his fingers into Nick’s hard triceps to stop him. “I’ll get it. Baby. Nick. It’s okay. It happened, you fought it off, and I’m okay. Please stay with me. Don’t run.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Yes,” Kelly hissed. He closed his eyes in a bid for calm. “You were.”
His stomach tumbled as they both remained where they were, wrapped together, still breathless and sweaty, cum still slick between them. He scooted a little closer, placing his palm on Nick’s cheek. He kissed him on the very tip of his nose, earning a little snort of amusement from his stoic boyfriend.
“What was that all about?” Kelly finally whispered, moving his lips against Nick’s.
Nick’s eyes fluttered closed, and a flush began to spread high on his cheeks. His fingers dug into Kelly’s rib cage. “I was . . . lost.”
Kelly nodded. “I understand.”
“But then it was you under me,” Nick continued in a rush. “And I had to hurry in case that was really the dream, and I’d wake up in the sand before I could have you.”
Kelly realized he was holding his breath, his mouth ajar and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. When Nick shifted in his arms and pressed their lips together, Kelly slid his arm under Nick’s head so he could hold him better. He wrapped him up in a hug, kissing him gently over and over as Nick gripped his thigh and wrapped Kelly’s leg over his hip. He held on to Kelly like he might still be dreaming, afraid to let him go.
“Nicko,” Kelly finally whispered. Nick squeezed him tighter, shoving his face against Kelly’s chest. Kelly spoke against his unruly auburn hair. “You were right, babe. Eli’s talking to us. To you.”
Nick’s breath was hot against Kelly’s skin.
“I think . . . I think you need to listen to him.”
Nick pulled back to meet his eyes, his breath stuttering.
“You were right,” Kelly whispered, running his hand through Nick’s hair. “You need to do it.”
“This is Grady,” Ty Grady answered on the third ring. Even though he was supposed to be retired from the FBI and doing cupcake jobs for the CIA, Ty still hadn’t shaken the habit of answering the phone as if someone was calling to tell him about a murder.
“Hey, Tyler,” Nick said with a smile, trying to cover his nerves by closing his eyes as he spoke. “How’s it going?”
“Irish? You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Don’t panic.”
“Don’t panic is what people say when they’re panicking!”
“I’m not panicking!” Nick insisted. “No one’s panicking.”
“Well I am now!”
Nick had to laugh, and Ty huffed. Nick was silent for a few seconds, just listening to the soft breaths of his best friend on the phone. It spoke to the last couple years of their lives that a phone call from a friend immediately caused concern. That was something they’d both agreed to work on when Ty had been visiting Boston last month.
“I need to call more often, huh?” Nick asked, still smiling.
“Or how about getting your ass on a plane and coming to see me again, huh? I have a surprise.”
“Yeah, Zane sent me a text message about your kittens, dude.”
“That asshole! I told him not to tell you until you came back here!”
“He asked me to come steal them and make it look like a ransom job.”
“Wow. Dude. Wow.” Ty muttered and thumped around for a few seconds as Nick listened with a gentle smile.
“Send me pictures, then,” Nick finally groaned.
“I’ll have to find them first; I’m teaching them evasion techniques and . . . they’re really good at it.”
“You’re putting your kittens through SERE training?” Nick asked flatly.
“Yeah, want to help me?”
“Kind of,” Nick admitted with a laugh.
“Irish. Come on, man, you’re killing me here. Please tell me you’re calling to invite me to come back to Boston.”
Nick closed his eyes again, smiling despite the overwhelming feeling that he was still a pretty shitty friend. Ty’s trip to Boston in April had been the first time in years that it had felt like old times together. He was happy to learn he wasn’t the only one pining for a second round. “Yeah,” he finally said. “Yeah, I am. But I need you and maybe Garrett to do me a favor before you come.”
“A favor,” Ty repeated. His voice had gone flat, and without the benefit of his facial expressions, it was impossible to gauge Ty’s mood. “You even have to ask, man? Anything.”
Nick licked his lips, trying again to press down the bubbling of nerves making their way toward his chest.
He’d fucked up royally with Ty. Ty had forgiven him for everything he’d done, able to see past the actions and into Nick’s soul just like always. Nick had nearly given his life for Ty’s, but he still felt the weight of penance on his shoulders. Now, these letters from Eli might give him a chance to lift the rest of that weight, and he’d do anything for that chance. Literally anything.
“Nick?”
“I need you to meet me in DC in a week.”
“What? Why?”
Nick closed his eyes again and sighed shakily. “I can’t tell you.”
Ty was silent, and for a moment Nick thought he’d lost him. “Promise me you’re not in trouble,” Ty finally demanded.
Nick snorted and shook his head. “I promise.”
“Okay. Where do I go, we meet at the airport?”
“No. I need you to meet me at Eli’s grave.”
Ty was silent again, and Nick’s entire body tumbled with nerves as he waited for Ty to speak again.
“I’ll be there,” Ty finally said. “I don’t know if Zane can come, but I’ll be there.”
“Thank you,” Nick said in relief. “I’ll see you then, brother.”
“Yeah.” Ty sounded just as nervous as Nick felt. “Hey,” he added before Nick could say good-bye. “You still mean that, right? Brother?”
Nick swallowed hard, realizing he was nodding vigorously as he clutched at his phone. “With everything I am.”
“Good,” Ty whispered. “I’ll see you in a week.”
Ty ended the call without further chat, and Nick’s heart was racing when he set the phone down. He sat on the flybridge, staring at the phone.
“You okay?” Kelly asked him when he thumped up the steps.
Nick turned to meet his eyes, wincing. “Yeah. Ty’s on board.”
“Seriously? That was fast.”
“You could at least fake having a little faith in my abilities,” Nick said, flopping back onto the bench seat and throwing his arm over his eyes a little too dramatically.
It made Kelly snort, though, and he came over and sat, sliding himself under Nick so Nick’s head was in his lap, patting Nick’s belly when he settled in. “Don’t rest yet, babe. One down. Two to go.”
Nick groaned and lifted his phone again, hitting the next number in his speed dial. He looked up at Kelly, studying him from below as the phone rang. “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Kelly winked at him, smirking.
“Owen Johns,” Owen answered. He sounded like he was holding his phone between his cheek and his shoulder. If Nick knew Owen, and he did, he was probably fixing his silk tie in front of a mirror.
Nick sat up so Kelly couldn’t distract him. “It’s O’Flaherty, bud, you busy?”
“Irish?” Owen asked with a frown in his voice. “No, I’m getting ready for a meeting, what’s wrong?”
Nick gave that a small smile. Owen was always ready to come to the rescue. Hell, that’s what Sidewinder did. “I need you to do something for me. No questions asked.”
“You know I’ll do it if it’s possible,” Owen promised. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. No one’s in danger, it’s not life or death, I promise. Promise. But I’ll be in DC in a week and I want you there.”
“DC. We’re talking about Washington?”
“That’s the one.”
“How long will you need me there?”
“A week. More if you want to sightsee after.”
Owen inhaled noisily. “After what?”
“Can’t tell you, bud.”
Owen laughed bitterly. Yeah, he probably knew that story. Second verse, same as the first. “Do I need a weapon?”
“Nope,” Nick said, trying to interject a little more cheer into his tone. “Just bring yourself. Hell, bring your girl if you want to, let us all meet her. I have no doubt Ty will show up with his kittens. If you can’t make it, we’ll wait until you can.”
“Who’s we? Besides Six and his kittens?”
“Me and Kelly. Ty and maybe Zane. I’m about to call D and ask him too.”
Owen was quiet long enough that Nick had to check that the call was still connected. Owen worked for Caliburn Technologies, a powerful security company based in San Diego; he traveled all over the world, and if his suits weren’t tailored to the tune of a thousand dollars or more, he was slumming it for the day. He had access to all kinds of resources, but the only thing Nick was asking for was him. It was probably throwing Owen off as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
“This isn’t another surprise wedding, is it?” Owen finally asked.
The words hit Nick unexpectedly and he flinched, tossing a surreptitious glance across the flybridge, where Kelly was opening a beer bottle on the edge of a table. They weren’t exactly at the marrying stage right now, despite how desperately Nick wanted to spend the rest of his life with Kelly. He’d kept too many secrets, hurt too many people. Hurt Kelly. He had a lot of making up to do before he could ask Kelly to marry him again. He shook his head. “No.”
“You okay, brother?” Owen asked softly.
“I promise,” Nick told him again, sadness and a smile warring in his voice. “Can you make it?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there. Where do I meet you?”
Nick inhaled noisily. “Here’s the thing.”
“Yo!” Digger shouted when he finally got his phone to his ear.
“Yo, yourself,” Nick said, grinning despite how he was still reeling from the first two calls. “Turn your motor off, bud, I need to talk to you.”
“Rico!” Digger cried. “Long time, bubba. What’s down?”
Nick snorted. Digger and Nick kept pace, talking at least once a week. And while Digger seemed content down in his bayou, there was a hint of something missing from his voice since Miami that Nick had all but given up on. It was good to detect that tiny bit of sadistic glee in his laugh again.
“What are you doing?” Nick asked suspiciously.
“Not a damn thing.”
“Never mind. I didn’t ask,” Nick insisted as he put his hand over his eyes.
“Why, who you been talking to?”
“Don’t incriminate me with details.”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to then!”
“You’re right, I’m sorry!”
Nick could hear Digger laughing.
“Are you still confined to the States?” Nick asked.
“No, I’m clear to roam. Why?”
“Want to go on an adventure?”
“Oh yeah, baby, where we going?” Digger cried. Nick could tell that he’d hopped to his feet.
“Washington, DC. Go buy your tickets for next week. One way.”
“I’ll be there with motherfucking bells on, baby. What’s our target?”
Nick laughed again, harder this time. “No target. Just a little favor we’re doing for a friend.”
“No target?” Digger asked, and Nick imagined his shoulders slumping.
“No target,” Nick insisted. “No guns. No tactical gear. No nothing but your fine ass in a plane.”
“What friend is this?” Digger asked warily. “You boys the only friends I got I’ll still do favors for.”
“You know him. Haven’t seen him in a while,” Nick answered, his voice taking on a more solemn note. “Trust me, you won’t regret the trip.”
“I trust you,” Digger assured him. “That’s where the bullet hole in my ass cheek came from.”
“Yeah, but you still get people to kiss it, so you’re welcome.”
“True that!”
Nick grinned. “See you in a week. We’ll pick you up at the airport.”
“See you, brother!”
Kelly sat down beside Nick as he ended the call, and handed him a beer. Nick gave him a grateful smile and rested his arm on the back of the couch for Kelly to lean against.
“You did that easier than I thought you would,” Kelly told him.
Nick nodded. “I figured Johns would be the harder sell, but he barely questioned it.”
Owen had been the hardest to convince when Nick and Kelly had started a relationship. And when Ty had come out to the group years before, Owen had stormed off in a fit of rage. It had taken him months to forgive Ty for lying to them. Nick suspected there was also a little homophobia going on there, or at least some confusion over it. So when Nick and Kelly had started up, they’d kept it from the others until they were sure there was something permanent between them. When Owen had found out, he’d tried his best to be accepting and supportive, but Owen didn’t do accepting and supportive very well on a good day.
He was doing the best he could, though, Nick had to give him that. It was more than a lot of people tried. Still, it was hard for anyone to keep in constant touch with Owen. It wasn’t a malicious or angry absence. It was just a man who was busy and forgot to keep up.
Digger was a little different. All you had to do was promise him the chance to maim something or set it on fire, and he was yours for the weekend.
“We all thought we lost you, Nick,” Kelly said quietly, drawing Nick out of his reverie. “I think they’d do anything you asked them right now.”
Nick swallowed hard, torn over whether to answer or just . . . carry on and ignore the pain in his chest. “I couldn’t tell D what we were doing,” he said, deciding to ignore Kelly’s words. “I’ll tell him at the airport.”
“I figured Ty would give you more trouble,” Kelly told him as he got comfortable against Nick. “Secrets and lies and all that shit.”
Nick swallowed hard, flushing. Secrets and lies. He gave Kelly a quick glance, trying to gauge whether it was a pointed comment or just Kelly being straightforward like usual. His fingers strayed to the ragged scar in his side as he took a sip from his beer.
When he looked up again, Kelly was watching him, sitting sideways on the seat next to him. “No one blames you, you know?”
“I do,” Nick whispered.
“We almost lost you. But hell, I’m starting to feel like we did anyway.”
Nick flinched, closing his eyes.
Kelly’s hand settled on his knee, squeezing gently. “We love you. All of us. Maybe Eli’s giving you a chance to fucking remember that, huh?”
Nick pulled Kelly closer, sighing as he stared at the pile of letters on the table in front of them.
They had read the rest of Eli’s first letter. All the envelopes were numbered, and they were not to be opened until the appropriate moment. At the end of the letter, Eli informed Nick that when he had everyone standing in the graveyard, he was to open the letter numbered 1. Each subsequent letter would tell them what to do or where to go.
“You don’t even want to peek at them?” Kelly wheedled.
“I really do,” Nick said with a smirk. “But I also don’t want Eli haunting my Irish ass, so I’m following the rules and so are you.”
Kelly laughed. “Fair enough.”
Nick pulled him closer, kissing him on the cheek. Kelly was still smiling when he turned his head and met Nick’s lips with his own. Nick wasn’t sure why or how he had managed to procure this type of love and loyalty, but he was going to make sure he did everything in his power to return it.
He slid his hand against Kelly’s cheek, gliding down to grip the side of his neck and hold him there as they kissed. Kelly shifted so he could stretch and put his beer bottle on the table, then grabbed Nick’s shoulder and pulled himself to straddle Nick’s lap.
Nick moaned when Kelly leaned against his shoulders and kissed him again.
“Not even a day into your mission and you got snagged by a honeypot,” Kelly teased between kisses.
“If you’re a honeypot, then this was one hell of a long con,” Nick said, then reached around and slid his hands into Kelly’s back pockets. “Bravo.”
“So . . . I guess we need to pack,” Kelly finally said. He was still trailing kisses along Nick’s neck, and his words tickled the tender skin there.
“Don’t be hasty, now,” Nick murmured, holding Kelly tighter and tilting his head to the side to give Kelly more room.
Kelly just laughed at him, kissing him one last time before sitting up. “Don’t get distracted. We have work to do.”
Nick nodded and took in a deep breath. His eyes strayed to the thin line just under the curve of Kelly’s jaw. It was healing already because the knife Nick had used had been so sharp. It was more of a paper cut than anything, but looking at it made Nick’s stomach tumble, made his throat constrict. He took in a shaky breath, eyes riveted as he slid his thumb under the cut.
“Babe,” Kelly said quietly. The amusement was gone from his voice, the laughter fading along with the light in his eyes. He took Nick’s hand in his and pushed it down. “Hey. Stop it.”
“I’m sorry,” Nick murmured as he forced himself to meet Kelly’s eyes. “I don’t even know where I got the knife.”
“Nick,” Kelly grunted, his shoulders slumping. He leaned his head back, staring over Nick at the bay. Nick had to look away from him. He hated the look in Kelly’s eyes, the one that betrayed his frustration and impatience.
Nick knew his mind was fucked up. He was trying, desperately trying, to get it back on track. His biggest fear right now, aside from worrying that he was going to slit Kelly’s throat in the middle of a dream, was that Kelly would get fed up with him again and not stick around long enough for Nick to be able to get it together.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that. Stop being sorry. Jesus, be a cocky asshole for a day.”
“Okay,” Nick whispered.
Kelly patted his cheek, still looking annoyed.
Nick fumbled around on the seat beside him, picking up the last page of Eli’s letter. He cleared his throat, glancing up at Kelly again carefully.
Kelly rested his weight on Nick’s thighs and raised one eyebrow at the page. “What?”
“He gave us a packing list,” Nick told him.
“Seriously?” His smile returned, and Nick was stunned by the way that simple gesture could light Kelly’s eyes, make the gray and blue swirl together as the sun caught them. “What’s on it?”
Nick handed him the page. “I’m going to email it to each of the guys with the other info. Let them panic a little over why we need climbing gear, a tiny leprechaun hat, and a video camera all on the same trip.”
“Tiny leprechaun hat,” Kelly repeated. He took the list and looked it over, his eyes growing wider. “Where the hell are we supposed to get one of those?”
Nick bit his lip, trying not to smile. “I’ve got a bunch in a box downstairs.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I collected them every year after the St. Paddy’s parade.”
Kelly barked a laugh, setting the letter aside to put both hands on Nick’s shoulders again. “What for?”
“For . . . reasons.”
Kelly was still laughing when he kissed Nick again.