Chapter Ten

 

 

BRIAN HURRIED toward Chris’s room, eager to get back.

Once Chris had fallen asleep, Rob had convinced him to go home and get a shower, a change of clothes, a couple of hours of real sleep. He’d gone on the understanding that Rob would let Chris know where he was if Chris woke up again before he got back.

He was glad he’d done it—he felt a hundred times better, though a good portion of that was knowing Chris was going to be okay.

Now he was eager to be back with his lover, to see if Chris was awake again. God, the last few days had been the longest of his life, and nothing had made him happier than having those mismatched eyes open up and see him, know him.

He rounded the corner as Chris’s folks came out of the room, and he stopped to give them a smile. “Hey, there. Is he awake again?”

“He is. He’s in there being completely unreasonable.” Mary stared at him, eyes red rimmed. “He keeps insisting he’s going to go back to gymnastics.”

He nodded and looked up at Bill’s face, seeing the same worries and fears there, though Chris’s dad held his cards a bit closer to the vest than his wife. “Let’s go sit and talk. There’s a little sitting area down the hall here.”

He led the way, trying to figure out what to say to them, how to explain.

They sat facing him, and he bit his lower lip and then took a deep breath, letting it out in a rush.

“I know it’s scary, but Chris is driven. You know better than I do that he’s spent his whole life chasing this dream.”

“Yes, but it’s time for him to listen to his body instead of his heart.” Bill sighed, hand rubbing his nape. “He isn’t in good enough shape to compete.”

“With all due respect, sir, that isn’t your decision.”

It wasn’t easy to meet the man’s eyes, especially given he had many of the same reservations, but he did it, knowing Chris needed him on this.

“No, but it is partially yours, Brian.” Mary reached out, took his hand. “We aren’t trying to make him unhappy. We aren’t. We don’t want to lose him.”

He squeezed her hand back. “I know. I’m scared too. But you know what? That fall—that happened while we were out having a little fun. We were on our way home. We weren’t drunk. We weren’t overtired. We were headed down the stairs, and someone bumped him, sent him flying.”

Brian swallowed. “He could have died. Hell, he could get hit by a car when we walk out of here tomorrow. He told the doctor that life is a risk, and he’s right. And I know that he increases his chances by training, by competing. But right now, that’s where he is, that’s what he needs to do. And I’m not going to tell him he can’t or that I won’t stand with him.”

“And if he doesn’t die, Brian?” Bill’s eyes were so serious, so still. “Are you willing to be his partner if he’s in a wheelchair? If he needs constant care?”

“You think I haven’t thought of that? That I didn’t worry the last few days that it had already happened?” He straightened up, nodded. “I’m not leaving him. No matter what. I promised him that, and I’m a man of my word.”

“But, honey….” Mary shook her head. “He loves you. He trusts you. You and Rob. You two could convince him.” She gestured at Rob, who was walking toward them.

“No, Mom. Chrissy’d rather die than quit. He needs to try. You have to let him.” Rob looked exhausted. Completely and utterly worn out.

Brian nodded. “Rob’s right. If I don’t coach him, he’ll find someone else who will. And I don’t trust anyone else to take care of him.”

“Boys, this isn’t a game.”

“Mom, we aren’t kids anymore.” Rob sighed, shook his head. “You think this is a game for him? Do you know how badly he hurts sometimes? How many fears he’s had to overcome?”

Brian nodded in agreement. “He knows how serious this is. I know how serious this is. If it was just a game to him, he wouldn’t risk his life, his mobility for it.”

Brian searched for some way to reassure them, but he couldn’t think of a thing. “I can’t tell you he’s going to be all right, but I can promise you that I will be at his side through every moment and that I will do everything in my power to make sure he takes care of himself and is careful. That he goes into every day as prepared as he can be.”

Mary started to cry and Bill to growl, and Rob shook his head. “You two are going to your hotel room. You both need some sleep and some food. Chrissy will be released tomorrow night, and then, after you spend the weekend pampering him, we’re all going home.”

“I’m sorry, Mary,” Brian said, “I truly am. Bill… I… I’m not doing this for me.”

Bill looked at him. “Of course you are. You want him to succeed as much as he does. If you don’t, you would be a shitty coach.”

Rob chuckled. “So they both want to be at the top of their game. Sue them.”

“And we’re both grown-ups. This is Chris’s decision, and I’m going to back him. If you could… you don’t have to support him, but please don’t tear down his confidence.”

“What he means is, he doesn’t need to doubt himself.”

Mary’s eyes flashed. “I’m fully aware of what Brian means, Robin Gregory Allen. I’m upset, not stupid.”

Brian bit his lip before the surprised laughter could escape him.

Giving in to a sudden urge, he gave Chris’s mom a quick hug. “I’m going to take care of him, I promise,” he whispered.

Mary went still. Then she wrapped her arms around him, squeezed tight. “You’d better. He loves you very much.”

“I know. Feeling’s mutual.”

He wished he could be more reassuring, but it was the best he had to offer.

“Mom. Come on. You need some rest.” Rob took her arm, handed her a handkerchief. Bill, on the other hand, didn’t look ready to give this up.

“He’s old enough to make his own decisions, Bill. All we can do is either stand behind him or not.”

Brian really didn’t want to keep going in circles with this. He’d only been with Chris a few months, and if he knew how stubborn and determined Chris was, surely his parents were aware of it. After all, they’d known Chris all his life.

“Pop. Come on. Really. You and Chris can fight tomorrow.”

Rob looked like he was at the end of his rope.

Honestly.

“Look, you all look like I felt before Rob insisted I go home and get a shower and some sleep. You should do the same. I’m sure he’ll sleep most of the evening anyway, so why don’t you come back tomorrow morning when he’s awake again and feeling up to seeing everyone? I’ll stay with him tonight and make sure he’s got everything he needs.”

He all but gave them a little shove, using his best “coach” voice that always seemed to work on the girls.

Rob helped, and they got both parents moving and out the door, the nurse at the station giving Brian sympathetic looks. “You actually going to get to see him now?”

“Yeah, I hope he’s still awake. Did anyone get him his juice?” He should have remembered to pick some up on his way over, but he’d been rather focused on getting back.

“Yeah. He tried to eat some gelatin, but it wouldn’t settle. He’ll need to eat a meal before he leaves, hon.”

“Hospital Jell-O? No wonder it wouldn’t settle. And he’ll eat.” If Chris knew keeping food down was the only way he’d get out of the hospital, he’d do it, even if it meant taping his mouth closed with duct tape. Of course, Brian didn’t share that with the nurse.

“Thanks.” He gave her a smile and headed on into Chris’s room, wondering what would tempt Chris’s tummy and stay down. He knew pizza or chocolate would be tempting, as would steak and that really nice stir-fry they made together, but he doubted any of that was hospital approved….

Chris was stretching, one leg up near his ear, face red and flushed.

“Jesus!”

Brian went over to Chris, shaking his head. “Don’t let your parents catch you doing that before you get out of here.”

He slid his hands over the stretched-out leg, nodding at the lack of hard spots. “It’s only been three days—you shouldn’t have lost any of your flexibility. How’s it feel?”

Chris didn’t need a lecture from him, just support.

“Good. Stretchy. I want out of here.” Chris grinned up at him, winked.

Oh wow. That smile and wink did wonders for Brian. Made him believe that Chris really was going to come through this, was okay.

“Yeah, you out of here sounds pretty damned fantastic. The nurse gave me the secret too. Apparently you have to eat a meal. I hear you rejected the Jell-O—we’ll have to find something that’ll stay down.”

“Jell-O is nasty.” One leg went down, the other up. Chris’s catheter had been removed at some point during the night, and Chris was looking much less grumpy.

Brian watched carefully, looking for any signs of stiffness or soreness. “How’s your head?”

“It itches where that thing is. I want it out.” There were random bruises sprinkled over the long body, but nothing earth-shattering.

“They said tomorrow morning. And if you can keep something down, the doc’ll let you out by tomorrow evening.” Brian looked at his watch. “It’s nearly suppertime. If you could have anything at all, what would it be?”

“Hmm….” Chris closed his eyes, chewed on his bottom lip. “Homemade brownies.”

Brian leaned in and licked at Chris’s lip until he stopped biting it. “I could make you some, but then I’d have to leave again.”

He licked again, managing to find a bit of Chris’s flavor beneath the hospital taste.

“I don’t want you to go.” Chris hummed a little, eyes closing.

“No, I don’t want to go either. You’ll have to pick something else to eat. I’m sure the hospital could round you up some more Jell-O.” He grinned and added, “Or maybe some tapioca….”

“Ew!” Chris pinched him, eyes rolling.

Brian laughed. God, he’d missed this the last few days. Missed the teasing and the laughter, missed that incredible drive and focus that Chris brought to more than the gymnastics. “How about some soup from Lo Chin’s? Maybe one of their amazing magical egg rolls?”

“Yeah? You unhook me from this machine”—Chris tugged the IV line—“and I’m there.”

Brian chuckled. “I’m pretty sure they’ll deliver to the nurses’ station, and I’ll tell them it’s for me. Which won’t be a total lie.”

God, Chris wanted out of this place bad. Not that Brian blamed him.

“No fair….” Oh man. The Pout.

Brian leaned back in, slid his lips across Chris’s, then grabbed Chris’s lower lip and tugged on it. “Hey, I can’t spring you, but I can get you spring rolls.”

“That’s not nearly as good, coach. I’ve missed six practices.”

“Tomorrow, Chris. We get this food into you and you be sweet as pie to the nurses and you’ll get out tomorrow. Then you’ve got to let your folks pamper you for the weekend. We’ll sneak a mat into our room, though, and you can do some exercises in there when you’re ‘napping.’”

Chris’s smile dimmed some. “They want me to move back home. Pop’s really pissed.”

Brian sighed and nodded. “They’re scared, Chris. They love you, and they want you to be safe. All they can see is that you’ve been hurt again, that a bad fall isn’t just dangerous for your back now, but for your head as well.”

God knew he was scared himself. But if Chris was going to do this, Brian was going to be there, doing everything he could to make sure that didn’t happen.

“You can’t live scared.” There was something in Chris’s voice that made Brian stop, look. Maybe his gymnast was a little bit scared himself.

He took Chris’s hands and held on tight, looked right into one blue and one green eye. “Chris. I love you. Okay? No matter what. And I’m so proud of you. No matter what. Now I want you to remember that, and I want you to think about this before answering. Tell me why you want to go on.”

“What? Because it’s what I’m made for.”

“And you can’t imagine doing anything else.”

He understood that. He’d felt it. He’d lived it.

“Why would I?”

He could see the heat rising in Chris’s cheeks, the worry in those beautiful eyes.

“Because someone who didn’t really want it, who wasn’t meant for it, would let this stop them.” Brian held Chris’s eyes. “I needed to know you were doing it for the right reasons. That you were doing it because you had to, because there was nothing else you could do. And you are. And I believe in you.”

“This won’t stop me. It can’t.” Chris reached out to him, squeezed his hand.

“Then it won’t.” Brian pressed their lips together, kissing Chris hard, putting his passion and belief into it. “You go out there and do what you do, and you let me worry about everything and everyone else.”

“You’re going to take Pop on, then?” Chris held on, squeezed his hand.

“Your pop, your mom. Anyone else who has two cents they want to put in. I don’t want you worrying about any of it, okay? Your job is doing what you’re made for.”

“Okay. Thank you. I just want to get back to it.” Chris’s stomach growled, loud enough for him to hear. “That and some hot and sour soup.”

“The first you’ll have to wait till tomorrow on. The second I can do.”

He gave Chris another quick kiss, reached for the phone, and dialed the number for Lo Chin’s he knew by heart.

Chris rolled out of his bed and headed carefully for the bathroom, IV stand in hand.

Brian watched the movement, assessing Chris even as he ordered their supper.

Chris looked a little uneven, the slightest bit unsteady. They’d have to be careful on the dismounts, on the vault, at first.

They’d start back on the rings again. Let Chris live in his comfort zone for a while; let him get his confidence back.

Brian pushed his own fears for Chris away. There was no place for them here. He’d committed to helping Chris reach his goals, and that’s what he’d do—110 percent.

 

 

CHRIS’S HEAD itched where they’d pulled the drain out.

A lot.

A whole lot.

More than he could explain.

Still, he was here. In the gym. On the rings.

Go him.

“That’s it, Chris. Watch that right arm—you’re favoring it a touch.” Brian was there, watching him, helping him.

“My head itches.” He straightened his arm, beginning his swings.

“Hurts—stop and come see me. Itches—ignore it and keep going. Don’t let it break your focus.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not itching.” He rolled up into a handstand and held it.

“No, I’m watching. You look amazing. Damn, Chris, you make it look so fucking easy.”

Chris’s cheeks heated, Brian’s praise pleasing him all through. “You want me to try the dismount?”

He was still a little off, balance-wise. The doctors said it would take a day or two.

“No, I want you to focus on the routine itself, on how good it feels to be back on the apparatus.”

“Okay.” He rolled down, arms stretching, toes pointing.

“That’s it. Let’s see you do the first half of the routine, get the flow back. And whatever’s still niggling at you, forget about it. Let’s see some of that famous Chris Allen focus.”

He nodded and worked it, let himself relax and stop worrying and concentrate on doing his thing.

He went through the routine a couple of times and heard Brian’s happy laugh. “That’s it. Yes! That’s what I wanted to see. Okay, full sequence this time, no dismount. Do it like that last time.”

“Okay. No dismount.” He was breathing hard, muscles starting to wake up and pay attention.

Brian started commenting on each move, voice low and reassuring, praising him, offering tips and little corrections as he moved.

It felt good to move, to work, to feel his muscles doing what they should.

Brian had him run through the whole thing again and again, until he was sweating heavily, muscles working harder and harder to keep up with what was demanded of them.

Finally he slipped, dangling one-armed for a minute before dropping unsteadily to the ground.

“Okay, good. Good.”

Brian was right there behind him, hands sliding over his shoulders, warm and solid against his back. “That was great. You haven’t lost very much ground at all.”

“Yeah? Not bad?” He leaned forward a little, swaying.

Brian’s arm came around his waist, tugging him back against his solid body. “It was good, Chris. Real good. Some stretches now, yeah? Cool down a little and let your muscles ease up. Is anything hurting?”

“My head itches, and I’m tired, but that’s all.” That wasn’t too bad, really. Not at all.

“So aside from the itching, business as usual.” Brian’s fingers wandered over his scalp, not scratching, but rubbing softly around the area where the shunt had been. “Feel good to be out here doing it again?”

“Yeah. Yeah, a little unnerving, but good.”

Chris stretched, reaching high, back popping and cracking.

Brian stroked down along Chris’s spine and then up, going right to where the aches bothered him the most. It was familiar and good, warm, easing his muscles.

“Okay, keep going. Nice and easy.”

“Um-hum.” He twisted, eased down, sliding along Brian’s body in a casual tease as he did so.

Brian groaned, hands landing on his hips. “Chris….”

They hadn’t made love since he’d been hurt. Not with his folks hovering as much as they had been.

He did another extension, muscles rippling. “Yeah?”

“Tease,” Brian whispered, hands moving around to his belly.

“I’m only stretching.” Up and down again, making sure they kept in the closest contact. God, Brian smelled good.

“Uh-huh.” Brian sounded a little breathless, cock becoming noticeable and hard against his ass.

“Stretching is important.”

“It is.” Yeah, definitely breathless now. Brian’s hand began to move along Chris’s spine, rubbing, stroking.

Chris bent at the waist, thighs spread wide, ass rocking in a slow, deliberate tease.

A low moan came from Brian, his hard cock rubbing against Chris, sliding along his crack, hot even through their clothes.

“Mmm.” He walked his hands out, hips tilted up. “More.”

Brian rubbed harder, then grabbed Chris’s waist and tugged his ass back. “God, Chris. We can’t…. Not here.”

“Okay.” He didn’t stop stretching, though. No. He needed to cool down.

And Brian didn’t step away, kept them close so each movement rubbed them together. Chris could hear Brian panting, getting hotter as the moments passed.

He lowered himself onto the mat completely, arms stretching along the floor, entire body rippling.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

Brian’s warmth came down on him, his hands landing on either side of Chris’s head. Brian did a couple of push-ups, grinding against him every time he came down.

“Don’t stop, Bri. It’s good.” It was. It was all good.

Brian groaned. “We shouldn’t out here.” But Brian didn’t stop, kept pushing up and down, cock rubbing along his ass again and again.

“Okay. We don’t have to.” Chris spread, stretching his hamstrings to the point of ache.

“Turn over,” Brian whispered against his nape, his cock traveling up along Chris’s crack, their clothing sliding easily.

Chris rolled, the mat cool against his back. “Hey. Stretch me out, Bri.”

It was cheesy as fuck, but heartfelt.

Brian came down, bringing their cocks and their lips together before going back up again.

Chris arched up, following, needing to feel more, feel Brian.

The push-ups continued, though Brian wasn’t rising very far anymore. Up a little, then down and grind, and grind some more.

Yes. Fuck yes. Please, Bri. Right there. Chris was hard and aching, needing something to prove he was going to be fine; he was still what Brian wanted.

Brian’s eyes held his, lips coming back to his again and again. “Chris. God. Need skin.”

“Uh-huh. Want you to fuck me. You want to wait till we get home?” He’d wait… for Brian.

Brian nodded. “Just take the edge off now, yeah? Then home, bed, fucking.”

“’Kay. I need, yeah?” Chris pushed up, rocking faster, trying to keep the sore spot on his head from pushing into the mat.

“I know. Me too.”

Brian ground down against him, all pretense of doing push-ups gone as their bodies came together and they searched for their pleasure.

It worked for Chris, the ball of heat in his belly growing, spreading through him as his cock jerked.

Brian’s tongue pushed between his lips, fucking his mouth as their hips danced together.

“Love,” Brian breathed into his mouth, moving faster and faster.

“Uh-huh. Hurry.” Fuck. Hurry, love. I need.

Brian nodded and moaned, hips grinding against Chris’s, their cocks meeting against his belly.

“Chris!” Crying out, Brian came, heat bathing his skin.

With a grunt, cock jerking, Chris shot, balls tight as stones.

Brian lay against him, panting in his ear. “So good, Chris. Just… love you.”

“Uh-huh.” He reached up, scratched the side of his head. “I know.”

Brian took his hand and kissed it and then stood, holding a hand out to him. “Come on. Home.”

“Yeah. Home.” He reached up, grabbed Brian. “Home. Fucking. More stretching.”

Chris landed against Brian’s chest. “Mmm. I like the stretching. I might, in fact, be developing a bit of a thing for it.” For the first time since his accident, he felt like maybe he could relax, could play.

“Yeah?” Brian slid his hands over Chris’s hips and up along his sides. “Uh-huh. Quite the thing in fact.” Rubbing their middles together, Brian laughed softly as their cocks bumped. “This thing.”

Chris chuckled, lips on Brian’s cheek. “I like our… things.”

“What do you say we take our things and get out of here before someone finds us with them hanging out?” The laughter in Brian’s voice felt good, felt special.

“Yeah. School isn’t the appropriate hanging-out place.” The words tickled Chris, making way more sense in his head than they did coming from his mouth.

Brian laughed out loud for him, though, eyes dancing and happy as he helped Chris back into his clothes with warm hands.

“You looked good out there tonight,” Brian told him as they walked toward the locker room. “You felt even better.”

“I was unsteady, and I didn’t hit a landing.” He wasn’t going to let Brian sugarcoat things.

Brian nodded. “But you were out there. Everything else will fall into place.”

“You think so? In time for the competition?”

Brian stopped moving and turned Chris toward him. “With your dedication and focus? You’d better believe it. Sure, you were a little shaky today, but by the end of the week you’ll be feeling strong and sure again, and the end of the week after, I bet you’ll have totally caught back up on the ground you’ve lost this last week. You can do this, Chris. You can go out there and show everyone exactly who Christopher Allen is.”

He nodded. He knew this.

He did.

Really.

Honestly.

Brian’s hands cupped his cheeks, brought Chris’s gaze to his and held it there.

“Chris. I love you very much. Given the risks, do you think I’d let you do this for one more second if I didn’t think you had it in you to compete and win? If I thought you were just going to show, I’d be the first one in line to talk you out of it.” Brian’s eyes were intense, each word carrying weight. “But I believe in you, in what you can do. I know you can do it. And so do you.”

“Yeah. I can. I want on that podium, Bri. I need that.”

“It’s yours, Chris. We’ll be back here tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, and every day you’ll believe it a little more. Now come on. You’ve done enough for one day, and I want you. I’ve been wanting you since we walked off that dance floor.”

“I’m all yours, man. All yours.”

“Mmm, I do like the sound of that.” Brian’s arm went back around Chris’s waist, and they headed for the changerooms again. “I like the sound of it a lot.”