“You look like shit,” my roommate, Ian, said as I staggered out of my bedroom.

His voice bounced around my skull, and I groaned. I needed an aspirin. Or some hair of the dog. Something to stop the splitting sensation rupturing my head.

Last night was a big blur. At some point, I’d taken an Uber home, which meant I had to go get my car at the Alehouse today. My grand plan to drown my ails in Captain and Coke hadn’t worked. No matter how much I drank, I couldn’t get the image of Mia out of my head. The hurt flooding her luminous brown eyes floated across my vision; an afterimage burnt onto my retina and coring into my brain in a quest for intelligence. Despite my IQ, I felt like a fucking moron.

Hooking up with anyone at the Alehouse had been stupid. Maybe I’d wanted Mia to catch me, just to provoke a reaction out of her. But not this. There were lines even I didn’t cross.

I collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table and cradled my head. The legs screeched over the linoleum and I cringed as the sound sent knives into my ears. “I feel like it.”

The soft glug of liquid sloshing into a mug stirred me before Ian shoved a steaming cup of java in front of me. “Do I want to ask? You don’t normally get hammered.”

My only vice was adrenaline. I might have a beer, but I didn’t usually get shit-faced. I took my coffee black as sin, and just inhaling the astringent-smelling steam perked me up. “Mia.”

Ian snorted a half laugh/half sympathy noise. “Ah. You two are still dancing around each other?”

Ian was only the second person that knew about Mia and me. His timing last year had been unfortunate. He’d come back to the apartment just as Mia and I’d finished. There had been no hiding her sex-hair. Or the anger in her voice as she railed at me about using a certain four-letter word on her. She’d been pissed, still was pissed, that someone else knew about us. That I’d broken the “casual” rule she’d slammed down. She hadn’t come back or talked to me since. Things had been going good, and I thought she would have been able to handle the depth of my emotions. Apparently not.

During that low time when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to even finish college, let alone stay in the same state as Mia, I’d told Ian everything. He’d helped me through the worst of it. Now, a year later, I was almost right back to where I started.

“She hates me.” The words burned more than the deep swallow of piping-hot coffee I’d just swallowed.

Ian sighed a deep bellow that was drawn out into a long-suffering note. He was readying the lecture he always gave me when it came to my girl. “No, she doesn’t. I don’t know what her problem is, but hate isn’t it.”

I looked up at him. He didn’t have classes on Friday. Though that wouldn’t have mattered much to him. He was dressed casually; a ginger-bearded behemoth in sweatpants and a holey T-shirt. He was the most casual MBA candidate I’d ever met. “If that’s not hate, I don’t want to see it.”

Ian narrowed his eyes at me. “So, what happened last night that has you looking like death warmed over. It’s been a few months since you’d had some Mia drama. I suppose the two of you were due.”

I didn’t want to think about it. But I couldn’t escape the slide show of images that whirled through my head at Ian’s question; Licia and her wet mouth; Jo’s relieved face; Mia’s furious glare. Swirling my mug, I watched the liquid form a whirlpool at the bottom.

Ian cringed. “That bad, huh? I guess the two of you saved up and made a fucking shit show out of it. Do you need some Irish libation in that coffee?”

The idea of more booze turned my stomach. “No. No more alcohol.” I muttered.

The worst had happened. Worse than Ian could imagine. I couldn’t even force myself to say it. That whatever Mia and I could have been was over. There was no way to come back from this. I had to man up and deal with it.

Doubt poured in through the tears in my soul. If I’d known the path my life would take me on when I first met Mia all those years ago, would I still have chased her?

I honestly didn’t know.

Regi

I hadn’t expected to fall in love. Especially not as a teenager. Love was for when I was older. I had a great family life. I was one of the only few in my social circle, before and after the move to Shullsburg, whose parents were still together, and very much in love. I’d lucked out in that department. I knew from an early age that I wanted what my parents had, and I wouldn’t accept anything less. If I had to wait forever, so be it. I would only get married once, and love only one woman.

And then Mia came and upended my whole belief system.

Maybe she was fate’s way of balancing the scales. I’d had an easy life, and now that I wanted something, I would need to work my ass off to woo her. It wouldn’t just be handed to me like it seemed everything else had; good looks, intelligence, charm and athletic ability. The only thing I’d really had to work towards, until her, was getting the scholarship that would pave the rest of my future.

The first day at Shullsburg High I hadn’t been thinking of love or the future. I’d been just a new kid trying to muscle my way through. I’d been pissed that I had to leave my old high school halfway through senior year. I wore the new-kid chip on my shoulder for all to see. I’d signed my letters of intent to Penn State on a football scholarship, but I’d still wanted to finish out my school career surrounded by people who knew me best.

I first saw Mia while I’d been waiting in the driveway. Mom had been loading my little brother Josh into the car. I would be walking the short distance to the high school, but she’d wanted to talk to me. Maybe make sure I was okay. The move was drastic, but with the recession and layoffs and the economy tanking, dad had been lucky to land a new position paying him more than his old one had. The downside was it required us to move to Shullsburg, Wisconsin, a tiny blip on the map with a whole lot of cornfields and mine recession.

The door across the street opened, and Rascal let out a happy woof, greeting the new neighbors.

I turned, and my whole life changed in an instant. Destiny threw a motherfucking wrench at me, and there’d been no dodging it. I’d been knocked sideways.

The early morning sun basked Mia in an ethereal glow. I wasn’t very religious, despite being raised to respect faith. But I was almost a believer, converted by divine providence when I caught sight of the black-haired angel ushering her sister towards the bus stop.

Worn jeans clung to a figure that made my mouth water. She was bundled into a long cardigan sweater, and only later would I learn that she was stacked from tits-to-toes. Her bronzed skin was a delicious contrast to all the pasty-ass Wisconsinites I grew up around.

I was a goner. Instalove a first sight. And for the rest of the year, I pursued her.

Eventually, she gave in. Had this been a normal puppy love situation I might have gotten over her.

I realized around May that our “casual” fling wasn’t all I wanted. I’d had her in my bed countless times, been her first and proud of it, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing less than forever would satisfy me.

“Mia, don’t go.” My fingers tangled in her hair, coiling the sooty, filament-fine locks around my knuckles. I tugged, reeling her against me. She’d just discovered she loved having her hair pulled during sex, and I was abusing the privilege every time I could.

Her warmth branded me as she wiggled against me. She was imprinted not just on my body, but in my heart too. The scent of us lingered on her skin, marking her as mine even if she denied it. She quivered as she leaned close, her clothing askew and jeans unbuttoned in the rush to pull them on. No matter how many times she tumbled into my bed, she always bolted afterward. I didn’t think it was the shame that sent her running away because she always came back for more; hot and wanton and very much in control of her sexual awakening.

“Your parents are going to be home soon,” she said, though she evaded my eyes. It was the same excuse she gave. Most of the time it was bullshit.

“You know they won’t. They’re both working nights at the factory, and Josh is at the sitter.” I wrapped my arms around her; steel bands binding her to me. If I could hold onto her forever, it would still be too little.

She squirmed in my grip. “Regi, don’t.”

“Go to prom with me,” I murmured against her hair. Our senior prom was a few months away. She hadn’t mentioned anything about it. We were both going, and I wanted the memories of attending with her. The whole shebang: corsage, limo, rented tux, and cheesy photos. “It’s the last chance we have to show off together, and be a real couple.”

She froze, growing stiff in my arms, and I closed my eyes realizing the mistake I’d made. Every time I tried for more with her, she backtracked. I let my arms loose, and she pulled away. “No.”

I sighed and sagged against my rumpled bed. “Why not?”

Mia growled. “Because this isn’t us being together, Regi. This is just sex. Why do you want more? You’re going to Penn State and I’m going to Madison. Whatever is even between us.” She flicked her fingers into the space separating us. “Won’t last.”

“You won’t even give it a chance.” God, I hated the plaintive whine in my voice. What had happened to my balls? Mia apparently had them held hostage in her damn purse.

For the past three and a half months since my parents moved us to Shullsburg and Mia blew into my life, I’d been trying to get her to agree to a relationship. The football season had ended before we’d moved, and I’d already pledged myself to Penn State on a full ride. But a part of me would have cast it all aside for a chance to be with Mia and attend college with her at the same university. If she’d let me.

It had been easy enough to seduce her into hooking up. Even though she’d been a virgin, she’d wanted the experience before leaving Shullsburg. I’d been way too fucking happy to do the job. But every time I approached the idea of more than sex, she turned ice cold. When I pushed too hard, I’d be lucky to see her for a week. “I fucking care about you, Mia.”

I didn’t dare say the L word. If she knew how I really felt about her she’d do a legit Houdini act on me. I’d never met a girl more against relationships. Most girls were trying to tie me down, thinking I’d play professional football in the NFL or somewhere. That wasn’t what I wanted. Playing football and earning the scholarship was a way for me to do what I really wanted. Becoming a doctor. Helping people. If I needed to toss a pigskin around to get there, so be it.

Mia sighed. She’d walked far enough away that she stood silhouetted in front of my bedroom window. The soft light diffused through the curtains turned her into a thick-bodied angel haloed by the late afternoon sun. “How long do we even have, Regi. You’re leaving in August, so am I. A few months at most? Do you really want to do that to yourself? Be with me for three months and then we leave?”

“We can have a long-distance relationship. You’re the only one saying no.” I raked a hand through my hair. The familiar prickles of frustration needled me. She didn’t get it. How come she couldn’t see how much I loved her? Why didn’t she realize that this was so fucking rare? We’d found each other while young. We would have our whole lives ahead of us to be together. She refused to open up, and during times like this, it was like talking to a fucking brick wall.

“I don’t want a long-distance relationship. It’s college. I want to experiment and explore.” Her blunt assessment gutted me.

I closed my eyes. The thought of Mia with another man made me violent. She was fucking mine. I balled my fists and stuffed them beneath my thighs. If I didn’t I’d be grabbing her, holding her down, demanding things that she didn’t want to give. “I don’t want to hear that.”

She approached me. Stepping between my thighs, her fingers cradled my cheeks. “It’s the truth and something you need to hear. We’re young, I want to live. I don’t want to look back on my youth and realize I’d wasted it.”

“How is this a waste?” I gripped her tiny waist. Spreading my thighs wider, I pulled her against me, grinding my half-hard cock against her thigh. “Do you really think another man will make you feel like I do?” The urge to soak her in my scent, so that any man who got close to her would smell me on her, roared through me. It was a Neanderthal need that she brought out in me.

Mia sighed and scratched my smooth cheek with her nails. “I don’t know. That’s the whole point in experimenting.”

Fuck no. Anger blazed through me. Picking her up, I spun her around and pinned her to the bed with my body. She bucked beneath me, realizing my intent. I caught her dainty wrists between my fingers and forced them above her head, trapping her. Her lush breasts rose, forced flat by the weight of my chest on hers. Her nipples were already hardening; tiny little spikes that stabbed through her shirt. “No one will ever make you feel like I do, Mia. No. Fucking. One.”

Her thighs spread. I ground against her, and she moaned as the iron-hard bar of my cock settled against her soft slit. I’d just fucked her, but the need to be inside her was constant. I caught her lips, biting the bottom curve with a sharp, bruising nip, and swallowed her protests.

“Regi,” she whimpered. She arched against, and I hissed at the feel of her buxom curves rubbing against me. Even through her jeans, her pussy smoldered; a slick, tight furnace threatening to bathe me in flames.

“If you won’t go to prom with me spend one day with me. A real date.” I nipped her lips again, denying her my kisses until she agreed.

She growled at me, her arms straining as she struggled against my hold. I loved when she fought, and my dick bulged against my boxers. She might have gotten dressed, but I was still mostly naked. At this rate, if I let her go she’d slap me, or claw me, or both.

Keeping her wrist pinned in one hand, I yanked her shirt up, revealing her fat breasts housed in a white bra. “If you want me to suck on these big titties, you’ll answer me.”

Her eyes narrowed; anger and lust warring on a velvety brown battleground. Dipping my head, I licked one of her hard nipples through the fabric.

“I hate you,” she hissed, but her moan made a liar of her.

“You fucking love what I do to you.” I raked my teeth over her breast, plucking on the tip with restrained lust. “Answer me.”

She shuddered. Then she melted. Her eyes closed in sweet surrender. “Yes, fucking hell, yes I’ll go out with you.”

Peeling the cups of her bra down with my teeth, I sucked as much of her breast into my mouth as I could. “Such a good girl.”

I grinned against her dusky skin. I wasn’t playing fair. I used her desire against her. But so fucking what. This was war. I could be patient while her heart caught up with what it wanted. But I wasn’t going to make kicking me out of her life an easy choice.

I rocked against her as my term of endearment turned her molten.

Even as I seduced her, my mind turned to the future. No matter what she thought, I was never letting her go.

Five years later, I still hadn’t given up on “us”.