Seven
Erin felt strangely numb. She hadn't realized that she could feel this way, but it was how she felt and it wasn't going to go away no matter what she did. So she might as well get used to the idea that she was going to be numb for a while. Shock might have been the right word.
It wasn't her first time seeing a body. She saw them all the time, and most of the time they looked much worse than this. With her eyes taped shut, Becca looked as if she was sleeping lying there on that slab.
Erin turned to ask the Captain what had happened, what the scene looked like, but he had left. A minute to grieve by herself. She leaned on her arms, her hands bearing the weight of a body that didn't know exactly how to hold itself up any more.
"What were you doing in California?" Erin could feel the anger building inside her, the anger that would prop her up. It would be the thing that kept her moving in the days to come. Anger at herself. At her sister. But most of all, anger at the son of a bitch who had done this.
Rebecca wasn't going to answer her, but Erin gave her time regardless. She had always been the good sister. The good daughter. It was no trouble for her to drop everything for Dad. If it would help, of course she would go. It was no trouble, after all.
It didn't matter that she would have to give up her silicon valley internship, the one that she had been working for since practically the day they had come out to California.
More upsetting, though, was seeing herself lying there on the slab. Identical twins. Which also, Erin thought with a sour sarcasm, meant that now her boss knew what her tits looked like. The thought hit a darkly humorous funny bone, but her frustration and anger deadened it. She took comfort in the fact that at least he was old enough to be her grandfather, so hopefully he hadn't thought too much about it.
Erin wanted to kiss her sister goodnight, one last time. Press her lips against the forehead that so perfectly matched her own, and send her sister off with good wishes.
But there was nowhere to send her sister off to. She was dead, she hadn't just gone to sleep for a while. Erin grit her teeth and walked out.
"Erin, if you need more time—"
"I was tearing my hair out, Captain. If you take me off the active roster, I don't know what I'd do."
"Watch some daytime television, maybe," he suggested, but there was no heart in the joke.
"Something like that, yeah."
"I don't know that we exactly needed you to identify the body—she had her I.D. and, I mean…"
"I know exactly what you mean. But legalities are legalities."
"Do you have a way to contact your father? He'll want to know."
She tried to keep herself from blurting out that there was no reason to assume that. He hadn't cared when Mom died, why would Becca be any different? That wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with her boss, though.
"Who's on the case?"
"Assanti's lead, but—"
"Assanti? You've got to be kidding me. Vic, please, just—"
The Captain's thick eyebrows tightened. "Russo, you know I cannot. I know how you're feeling, alright?"
"He has a, what, seven in ten record?"
"He's the next best behind yours, and you know that."
"Compared to five in six. And the other one, he always comes in on something else sooner or later."
"I know, Erin, but I just can't give you the case. I know you want it, and I know you'll show it every bit of your considerable talent. But I can't, not even if I wanted to. It's a conflict of interests, and everyone knows it. I'd be in the shit before you could say 'you're fired.' "
Erin let out a breath. "Then I'll just look into it on my own."
"Russo, you know I can't let you do that. I don't want to, but I will suspend you if I have to."
"Then at least let me consult. Keep me in the loop."
"You shouldn't even be in the office again until Monday morning."
"Well, I've got nothing else to do. Get Assanti to print me off the files he's got now, I'll look over them, and on Monday I'll have something for him. You know I'm good for it, and you know the first week is the most important time to get leads going. Two heads are better than one, right? And Assanti can take lead. Just let me on the case."
"Erin, are you sure that you're going to be able to work under him?" The Captain put extra emphasis on sure.
"I'll do what I have to do to see my sister's killer put away, sir."
He looked at her a long moment. "Do not make me regret this, Russo. I'll put in a call, we'll have files ready for you by noon. But you take your box, you go home, and if you want my advice, I suggest you get good and comfortable with daytime talk shows until Sunday night, and then bring your box of files back unopened on Monday."
"Thank you, sir. You won't regret it."
She practically skipped out of the room. She might be furious over Becca's death, and she knew some of that anger was pointed right back at her.
But at least now she had someplace to spend it. She had something that she could do to keep herself sane, at least. That much was enough, for now.
She slipped into the Jeep and pulled her phone out of her pocket. This was the part she wasn't looking forward to. She opened up her contacts list. It was down to just one, now, after she deleted Becca's number, but she couldn't make herself do it. Not right now.
She pressed on 'Dad' and then clicked 'call.' The phone rang until she went to voicemail. She hung up without leaving a message and called again. He never answered the first time, because if it was important, he figured, they'd call back. Well, it was important.
He picked up on the last ring, and from his voice he might not have realized that Becca was gone yet. After all, he still must have had Bud Lights in the fridge.
"Who's this?"
Erin forced herself to sound as pleasant as she could, which was only a simmering rage.
"Dad? It's Erin."
"Oh."
Oh? Was that it? After seven years, all he had to say was 'oh.' Oh.
"It's about Rebecca."
"One second," he said into the phone. He sounded like he could almost stand up if he had to, from his voice over the phone. Some things never changed. She heard him shout into the phone. "REBECCA!"
A moment later he put the phone back to his ear. "She's not here, Erin. I'll have her call you when she gets back. Thanks for calling. Now, if you don't mind, I was watching—"
"Dad, you need to listen to me. Rebecca came to Los Angeles."
"What? Why would she go to Los Angeles?"
Maybe to see her sister, who was off getting fucked like some floozy, Erin thought to herself. She didn't say that.
"Dad, stop it. Stop talking and listen."
"Okay, gosh."
"Dad, Becca is dead. She was stabbed—"
"Well—what the hell? How am I supposed to—"
Erin clicked the phone off before he had a chance to finish the thought. Classic Dad.
How fucking typical. She took a deep breath and tried to keep herself calm. It wasn't that he didn't care. It was that he couldn't care. She reminded herself of that.
Maybe there was a time that he was capable of it. However Mom had managed to get along with him all that time, there must have been something to him before he became… what he was. But now, he was like a child. Incapable of thinking of others.
It didn't help her feel better as much as she had hoped.