Who do you think you are? You must be one crazy bitch if you think I wouldn’t find you. How dare you take MY daughter from me! Now you’re making me do this. You’re going to regret every day of the rest of your life from here on out, Bailey. I’m getting Lily first, and then I’m coming for you.
—Joe
***
At first, there was a tiny coo—followed quickly by a large, lung-filling scream. Bailey watched as a miniature red fist shot up in the arm followed by the sight of an equally tiny and red foot. Bailey’s grandmother squeezed her shoulder as the doctor announced jubilantly, “It’s a girl, Bailey! A beautiful, healthy baby girl!”
Bailey watched a nurse as she covered Lily in a white towel and then place her on her chest. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do, but as Lily’s eyes fluttered open under the harsh bright lights of the room, Bailey instantly encircled her arms around her and inhaled her scent. She laughed as she said, “My Lily. My darling. Your mommy loves you.”
“Honey? Do you want me to go get him?” Grandmother leaned down and whispered in her ear just out of range of the rest of the hospital staff.
“No. Let him wait.” Bailey had not wanted to give an answer. This was her time with her daughter. Everything else in the world, no matter what it may be, could wait.
“Are you sure?” Grandmother’s soft forehead wrinkled and creased inwards. She did not know what happened. She did not know why Bailey insisted that the only person in the delivery room be her grandmother and no one else. She did not know why her husband, the father of her child, was forced to miss the birth of his own daughter.
But Bailey had no time or even want to explain. This moment was supposed to last her entire life. She did not want to look back on it thinking of only him or the circumstances of why she was delivering four weeks early. Today was about her and Lily, not about the man who had pushed Bailey down the stairs in a drunken rage, sending her into a sudden and painful preterm labor.
The two snuggled together as the doctor and nurses performed the rest of their duty. It all happened in a cloud of love and uncertainty, but Baily just kept on holding tighter until she was told it was time for Lily to be taken to a nursery. She kissed her goodbye and promised to see her shortly.
As the nurse opened the door to her room to wheel out Lily’s crib, she caught a glimpse of the man in cut up jeans and a ripped t-shirt. A hat was over his eyes as he slept off the alcohol. The cart with her daughter swiftly passed him without disturbing his sleep. Bailey breathed in a sigh of relief. Even he couldn’t bring himself to be present when he had the chance.
But once she was settled in her bedroom with Lily sleeping calmly by her side in her clear plastic bassinet, it was a completely different story. As her nurse carefully removed her wires, Bailey could hear the faint sound of an angry man storming the hallways opening doors to patient rooms and calling out her name. The young nurse turned to her. “Is that your husband?” she asked in a stern but kind manner.
Bailey swallowed hard as she nodded her head. A lump in her throat started to move its way to the top as she realized he was only getting closer. And the nurse was of no help, “He should know better than to make a racket in the Mother and Baby wing!” Judgment oozed out of her as she rolled her eyes as Joe finally began banging on her own door. She opened it up, just wide enough for him to burst through, forcefully pushing her behind the door in the process.
“Who do you think you are, Bailey Reed?! That’s my child! MY DAUGHTER!” The smell of booze on his already rancid breath seemed impossibly stronger than before. Bailey had to wonder if he had actually brought his signature silver flask with him into the waiting area.
“Joe, please. Calm down.” She watched as the nurse sunk out of the room, just glancing back at her long enough to give her a knowing, suspicious look.
“I am not going to calm down! Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down!” He began to pace in the wild way he always did when he was angry. His feet couldn’t seem to catch up with themselves as he tripped on his own shoes every few steps. His dark palms flexed and stretched into balled up fists as he sped up. “Do you understand what you did to me? I missed my own daughter’s birth! How could you do that to me?”
Bailey tried to muster up the adrenaline she had from the birth as she gnawed away at the inside of her cheek. She had so much to say to him, but she couldn’t risk it. Instead, she lowered her head softly and said, “If you make a scene, they won’t let us take her home. Please, Joe. Just chill.”
“I’m not going to calm down, goddammit! And no one is taking my fucking baby!” Rage poured out of the tiny man like a waterfall. His charcoal black eyes bulged out of his head as the blue and purple veins in his neck popped. He was inches from her face as she remained tethered to her hospital bed.
Bailey knew what was going to happen next. She had been used to the routine, the rage, the anger. But when it did, she still found herself shocked and saddened. The slap across her cheek wasn’t that hard. He could barely find her in the mess of booze drowning his mind. Yet, he made contact to her skin sending piercing hot flames up and down her face. Her own had instantly went up to the spot where he had made his mark and cradled it gently. The tears in her eyes had fallen from the force, soaking her nails and fingertips.
“I’m—I’m—I’m sorry, Joe. I’m sorry.” She turned her face away from him knowing he was most likely winding up for a second go. The first one wouldn’t have satisfied him enough.
“I’m sorry? I’m sorry?” He mocked her, laughing maniacally. “Is that all you got to say for yourself, woman?” His hand rose high, this time in a fist.
“Yes. That’s all she’s got to say. And if you don’t leave in two seconds, you bet I’m gonna call security on you.” Josephine, Bailey’s grandmother, stood in the corner of the room. Her already ashy face had gone pale. In her arms was a vase and an arrangement of pink and purple flowers from her own garden.
Joe turned to her, directing his anger in her direction, “I don’t want you to be next, old lady. Leave us alone. This is a private affair.” He took two giant steps towards her.
But instead of cowering away or slipping out the door, Josephine stood strong. She set down the flowers on a bedside table and also took two steps toward him. She lowered her voice as she sneered, “Joe Malnuty, don’t you dare threaten me. I’ve known you since you were a child. I know you’re nothing but a black soul with no heart. Whatever my grandbaby saw in you, I'll never know. But this is the end of it. You don’t touch her. You don’t threaten her. And if you so much as dare to lay a mean hand on that new baby of yours, I will go to the ends of the earth to see you torched. Do you hear me?”
Joe waddled back and forth on his heels. The old Southern woman had put him in his place. His mind couldn’t even catch up to her. Instead, he turned towards Bailey and said, “I’ll be back, Bailey. And my daughter better be here.”
As he left, Josephine shut the door behind him and went back to her flowers, smoothing out the spots that needed tending to. She sat next to Bailey’s bed in one of the large reclining chairs with an oomph. She reached out her small hand to Bailey and gave her granddaughter’s a squeeze. “My darling, Bailey. You’re gonna be a great mama. I know this for sure. I saw how you looked at your daughter when they handed her to ya. But you have to be strong for her. It’s not enough to love someone. You have to fight for them, as well.”
Bailey wiped away her tears with her free hand as she nodded in understanding. Her life wasn’t the same anymore. She couldn’t just be Joe’s punching bag. She had to be Lily’s mom. And that took courage, more than she had had in the past. As Josephine slept and Bailey rocked her newborn in her arms, she made the promise she would never let Joe or anyone hurt Lily.
It was a secret between the two of them, but an oath that would be harder and harder to keep as she grew. The distance between Bailey and Joe grew as Lily’s needs distracted Bailey from Joe’s. Dinner not on the table came with a shove. Forgetting to iron his work shirt resulted in a slap. Asking a question or making a request was followed by name-calling.
But he never once laid a hand on Lily. To Joe, his daughter was the perfection Bailey could never be. Her cries were just Bailey’s fault. Her needs were Bailey’s failings. And Joe would not go a minute without reminding the new mom of it.
Then, one day, Bailey woke up. The sun was shining, birds singing in the spring air. On her baby monitor, Lily was talking to herself as she pretended to read a book. Joe had gone off on an early morning boating and drinking trip with a friend from the city. Bailey had regretted days like this because it always meant he would come home drunk and meaner than ever.
But as she stared at the empty bed and listened to her daughter recite the pages she had memorized, Bailey knew it was her chance. Despite knowing he wouldn’t be back home for hours, she didn’t waste a second packing. Lingering would give her second thoughts or allow her to dwell on Joe’s threats that he was the only thing keeping the family together. No, she needed to be single minded. Only the essentials were coming. No money. No toys. No clothes. She would figure it out when she got to her destination.
Bailey held her breath as she knocked on her grandmother’s door. It was only 10am and she knew the older woman was a heavy sleeper. With Lily sleeping in her arms, she snuck to the backyard to the windows of the living room. Peering in, she could see the woman dozing off in her chair. She pounded harder upon the cold, dingy glass as she screamed out her grandmother’s name. The thought of Joe finding her then and there irrationally popped up. She needed to get in the house, and she needed to get in there now.
Finally, Bailey placed Lily down on the grass, took twenty steps back, and launched herself at the glass foot first. The sound of shattering woke Josephine with a start as she stared down the vision of her granddaughter and great-granddaughter standing out in the morning dew.
Bailey, with her hair pulled up tight and still in her best pajamas cried out behind the remaining screen, called in as loudly as she could, “Please, let us in!”
Josephine, coming to her senses, ran to the door and threw open the screen. Bailey handed Lily to her grandmother and then flung herself into her arms as she explained how she left Joe. But Josephine needed no explanation. Bailey’s wispy frame, battered and bruised from the wear and tear of the last few years said it all. Instead, Josephine looked at her, her hand slicking down the fly-aways on Bailey’s head, “This is your home, my dear. Always your home. Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you here.”
Bailey believed her. But every night, she stared out Lily’s bedroom window from her apartment above the garage. And every night, just around 1am, she swore she could see the outline of a man in a pair of tight jeans and a ripped t-shirt waiting for her in the shadows.
Now, almost three years later, that figure wasn’t just in her imagination. It had crept out of the darkness of Bailey and Lily’s past to find her. While she knew she was safe and secure behind the bars of Leo’s manner, her daughter was not. There was no grandma to stand up for her, no mother to protect her. He was coming for her, and it was Bailey’s job to get to her before he did.