EPILOGUE

“Hey, God. It’s Ruby Priest. The help I asked for? It was perfect … thank you.” – Ruby

 

 

 

 

Looking up at the early evening sky, no stars to be seen, Preacher felt his chest compress, the weight of what he was doing made him feel insignificantly smaller, a dot in the world and his brother looking down on him like the sultan he'd always been.

A great man. The best man. He’d always have that legacy, he’d make sure Seb and whatever kids he might have in the future grow up knowing they had a great uncle.

Sliding a hand into his jeans pocket he pulled out the single cigarette and lighter, letting them kiss he took a long pull inhaling the smoke.

"Last one, I promise. I mean it this time." And he did. Or he hoped to fuck he did. He and Ruby had a kid to take care of now, and who knows, maybe he'd knock her up with little Priests one of these days far in the future, he wanted his wife all to himself for a while yet, so he had to be around with two healthy working lungs, didn't he, to play catch and to run after naked toddlers who didn't want to get dressed on a morning for church. Fuck him, Ruby was gonna want him to go to church. He didn't even own a tie. The church would have to take him as he was or fuck it, he was already damned ten times over.

Preacher never assumed his PTSD would magically disappear, if only, he mused, this step was purely for his own heart, he'd held on too long.

Knowing when to let go was harder than doing it because you were acknowledging it needed to be done. And it fucking hurt right in his sternum.

Breathing in and out, he took a smoke and sent the plume into the atmosphere. "Have you looked at my lady and boy? You'd like them, she's far too good for my old ass, it’s as though I fell in pig shit and won the lotto. And the boy, Shane, fuck, he's about the best damn kid, smart, too. I think he takes after me with that." Preacher laughed shakily in his throat. "I'm gonna teach him bikes, just like you did for me, without all the beatings. I hope I can be as good of a dad as you were a brother."

Get on with it, Priest. He was stalling. Like it mattered. But it felt like it mattered. It fucking mattered to Preacher.

"I bet you're up there aren't you, Shaneo, on your glorified golden throne watching the Broncos, thinking thank fuck, you melodramatic slow-ass, what took you so long? Yeah, you are. Gloating bonehead. I miss that about you." Preacher smiled "I would have liked to see you do better at this dead brother thing. I was running on zero exposure, cut me a break, okay? So here it is."

Fingers twitched until he had to drop the smoke or risk burning himself. Running both hands over his head, he inhaled and then exhaled. Why was this so damn hard? He couldn't breathe so good.

But it was the right thing. For him, for his life. For the life, he was making with Ruby and Seb, even for his parents and Tyler. The pain manifested in his chest, but the pain didn't always mean something bad. It said he was here, he was alive and he was no longer numb.  

Letting go was daunting.

"I have to set myself free, bro. No more dwelling on what ifs, blaming myself and wishing we could change places. I have people relying on me now, people who need me, fuck, who I need. I need them so much, can you understand?" Preacher, keeping his shit together, inhaled hard enough he almost tasted the lining of a lung. He released it on a steady tremor, glancing up as if his brother’s face was just out of sight. He just bet Shane was smiling and saying; thank fuck, Ash.

His brother had been a good guy, wanting the best for everyone.

Knowing that, still, his heart burned with buried grief. "This is it, Shaneo, but only for now. You'll see this pretty face again one day. And prepare for me to beat your record in baseball, you better believe it's on. I've got sixty years of practice ahead of me."

With no more to say, he turned on his boots, the dirt in his backyard dry from the warm weather underfoot, the light of the kitchen and open back door warming in greeting to Preacher. He smiled and took the steps back to his family.

Stopped. There was one more thing he had to say. He had to get the words to come out. His voice tight, twisted in emotion, he cast a look skyward and sent a smile up. "Bye, brother, I’ll see you in the light. I love you."

And then Preacher walked through the door, listened to Ruby and Seb running around the lower half of the house laughing and squealing. He grinned locking up, to go join his family.

 

 

 

******

 

 

You can't judge a book by its pretty cover, Ruby reflected as she watched Preacher through the window, standing stock still in the middle of the backyard looking up at the sky every few minutes, because otherwise if you never get past the outer packaging you're cheating yourself on what could be an extraordinary book.

Take Preacher. That man made her crazy in the best way, she was so full of love it was ridiculous how she'd lived her adult life without him. 

He had two titles before she got to know who he truly was; manwhore and biker. Neither of which appealed to her. Until one day she took a risk on a deep-seated attraction and she turned his page, she thumbed through his chapters, making notes, her mental kindle highlighted in bright pink of his special moments and by the end of the final word she knew Preacher was her favorite book.

Generous of spirit, so damn generous, how did a man like him even exist in this big bad ugly world? His own heart had been empty and hollowed out by grief and tragedy, stuck on pause within his own mind, hurting and still he'd reached out to her when she’d needed it the most and became her savior, the safeguard against a world not so kind to her. 

She'd judged him brutally in the beginning, unfairly so, he was neither just one thing or another, he was colored outside of the lines, he was the box you had to think outside of, there was so much more to Asher Priest than most saw. And that was the thing, despite everything they faced, would face in the future raising a small child neither had the first idea how to do that truly, they were finding their way as they went, they'd do it together. Mistakes, flaws and bad days, they'd be together.  

Love wasn’t something each had looked for, Preacher wanted the fast sex, it found them both when they were least expecting it and when they needed it the most.

Love was funny like that. Leaving Preacher to do what he had to do, she slid a frozen pizza into the oven, added chicken wings for her guys.

She could hear Seb giggling at cartoons on the TV in the other room, the noise of his little boy laugh made her smile. I’ll take care of him, sissy, I swear. I miss you. I’ll always miss you, but I’ll be a good mama to your boy. She swallowed past the lump of sadness. One day at a time, Pastor Danny told her recently. Grieving was a process. Fortunately for Ruby, she had a little man and a bigger man to always help raise her up when she falls.

His arms came around her from behind a while later, he smelled of the summer air as he brushed his smile against the back of her neck, arching greedily asking for more he didn’t disappoint, he skimmed his lips and beard the full length.

"Everything alright?" She inquired, lacing their fingers together.

"Yeah, beautiful, all's good now. In fact. I got you something earlier when I was picking up my wedding band.” Sandpaper rough voice, her eyes lit up. Oh yeah, he wore a platinum wedding band to match hers now, back off waitresses.

Greedy for gifts she spun in his arms and wiggled her fingers. She hoped it was chocolate. He produced a little box in front of her face and stepped back while she carefully unwrapped it.

It wasn’t chocolate.

“Oh, Asher.” A white gold bracelet sat inside a long box. Twisted metal curving in on itself. He was fastening it around her wrist before she spoke again. “It’s gorgeous. You absolutely should have, I really do deserve it.” He grinned that smile that did funny hot things to her belly.

“You do, beautiful. It’s engraved.” Oh, it was. Twisting it around to see on each link in small cursive lettering was; Without you, I don’t make sense.

"Asher. Ugh, you’re gonna make me cry." There was no gonna, Ruby was crying. Preacher pulled her in, rubbed her back, and pervert that he was, gave her ass a little squeeze to make her laugh. She stayed within the nest of his massive arms, safe, loved and warm.

“I love you so much.”

“Back at you and more, beautiful.” Hands fisted in her naturally curly hair. “Now, can I interest you in a little one-on-one while the little cockblocker is busy with his cartoons? I know this Priest you can pray to on your knees.” Oh, the wickedness of this man.

Ruby looped both arms around his neck, up on her tiptoes she brushed their lips together, a promise of what was to come. “You’re always my one,” she whispered.

“Hey, Ruby?”

“Yeah?” A little more kissing.  He put his mouth against her ear.

“"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

The world stopped moving.

Ruby gasped blinking up at a smiling Preacher like he just knew he was about to get so laid. So, fucking laid. He'd just given her the biggest lady-boner.

She squealed and then laughed. “Did you just quote the best movie of all time at me? You did. You really fricking did.” Fingers grasped his beard, Ruby tugged him down to her mouth, crashing their lips, making them one.

It’s true what they say, that if you just have enough faith in God he gives you exactly what you require to be happy.

And sometimes, in those rare distinct times, he presents a Preacher to lead you out of the shade.

There was nothing but light in Ruby’s future.

That, and a lot of sex. Starting in the kitchen.

 

 

THE END