As I lay in bed with Sabrina after we’d made love, I found myself staring at the ceiling and thinking about what I’d told her. That no one else knew of this place. Well, at least, no one from Leo’s gang. But now that I thought about it, it wasn’t true. Saffron knew of my seafront apartment.
I had brought her here once, not long after I bought the place - it was only a few weeks before our break-up, and I thought I could convince her to come out here and detox. But she was strung out and edgy, shooting down my suggestions and demanding to be driven back to the city to meet her dealer. I couldn’t be sure that she’d remember which way we’d come to get here, or hell, even coming here at all, but did I really want to take that risk? I had to push it from my head for now. This was the only place I could feasibly stay at the moment - close enough to Leo that he wouldn’t get suspicious, but not so close that anyone could easily find us.
Should I have taken care of Saffron when I had the chance? I mean, it was just the two of us, alone on top of that building. Accidents happen. And Saffron had a past that meant she was unreliable, maybe even a danger to herself. I could have dealt with her then, and not have had to worry about any of this.
I scolded myself internally. No, that would have been the worst thing I could have done. If Leo were already suspicious of me, Saffron winding up dead after a hit with me would have just proved any point he wanted to make to himself. And besides, I had loved Saffron at some point in my life, and I wasn’t about to pick her off just because I was being paranoid.
I had to remind myself that so many of the conversations I had with people like Leo came down to posturing. Everyone was trying to project something, trying to convince people they were harder than they were. Leo was probably just testing me, laying down the law to make sure that I wasn’t going to try and pull any shit on him. How could he know anything? Unless Saffron had gleaned something from our brief meeting, there was no way he could have figured anything out. Sitting here and worrying about it would only make things worse.
I heard my phone buzz in my coat where I had dumped it on the floor while we were getting undressed, so I rolled away from her and went to pick it up. She let out a small, soft noise, still in that post-coital haze, and sat up.
“Who is it?” she asked, her voice soft. I looked down at the message, and my heart dropped.
“Anthony, it needs to be tonight. I’ll expect you tomorrow morning.”
It was from Leo. God, I could have guessed that without even looking at the message. He always let me know exactly when he wanted the hit carried out, but I couldn’t believe I wouldn’t even get one evening with Sabrina to make her feel safe and cared for. I tossed my phone back onto my jacket and looked back up at her.
“No one. Hey, I have to head back into the city tonight to pick up some of my shit, is there anyone you want me to bring back here? To keep you company?”
Her face lit up.
“Well, actually…” She raised her eyebrows. “My friend, Lily. I could really do with her around.”
“Does she know about everything that’s happening?” I asked. I didn’t want to drop someone who had no clue of what was going on into this situation.
“She knows enough.” Sabrina nodded. “Here, I can call her, ask her to close up the restaurant for a few days. That should ease up some of the heat on us, right?”
“Yeah, probably,” I agreed, and handed her my phone. She quickly tapped out a message, then let it sit on the bed next to her as she watched me gather myself.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Everything’s great,” I replied. “I’ll be back later tonight, don’t worry about it.”
“You know I’m going to worry,” she commented, and I smiled t her.
“Trust me, I’ll be fine,” I reassured her. “I’ll go to the city and bring her back, then pick up my stuff.”
“Yeah, she just texted back, and said she’s all good.” She glanced at the phone as it buzzed again. “You sure all of this is going to be okay?”
“It’s going to be fine,” I soothed her. “I promise.”
I planted a kiss on her forehead, and she gave me the address of the restaurant where I could pick her friend up. I went outside to the car, took a deep breath, and stared at the sea for a moment. Part of me wanted to lose myself to its vastness, but I knew that I had too much to do to indulge myself any further.