I watch Jason leave the room without a backwards glance at me. “I’ll be back,” he says.

I stand there, feeling like my life is falling to pieces.

I can still feel his arms around me, holding me tight like nothing bad could ever beat us, even after Howard walked in. I hug myself, curling up in a little ball and sitting down in front of a computer screen, trying to pretend like that didn’t happen.

But it did, it happened. Howard caught me kissing Jason, and there’s no way we’ll get out of this one.

I want to die. No, not die.

I want to disappear from the face of the earth.

If I could just melt away, slip down beneath the dirt, and cease existing, that would be ideal.

It’s not just me that I care about. Jason has way more to lose than I do. Sure, I might get a bad reputation at school, but I’m going to leave here. I’m going to graduate and move on with my life.

But Jason, this is going to follow him. Nobody will remember my name.

Everyone will remember Jason.

This is going to break him, ruin him. All because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

I sit there in that room for nearly two hours before I finally get up. Jason hasn’t come back, and I don’t expect him to.

Maybe he’s being smart and running. Or maybe he’s doing whatever else he can to protect himself by distancing himself from me.

I wouldn’t blame him. Let him throw me under the bus. I want it, honestly.

I feel simultaneously abandoned and happy that I’m abandoned as I leave the empty room. All those computers back there, all that hard work, all those good memories, it’s all tainted for me now.

None of it matters, anyway.

I don’t know what we were even doing back there. Hours spent writing programs, working on this vision that Jason has, and it’s all for nothing. Howard’s going to blow it up, all because of his failed idea.

I walk through the halls of the building, out into the mild afternoon sunlight, and I start back toward my apartment. I don’t bother going to class today.

It just doesn’t seem important.

I get back home and go right to bed. I curl up and even manage to sleep for a few hours.

Mac’s there when I finally manage to drag myself out of bed. She’s in the living room and looks surprised when I stumble into the kitchen.

“You’re home?” she asks.

I grunt at her and pour myself some water.

“What are you doing here?” She gets up and walks over to me. “Have you been in your room?”

“Sleeping,” I say.

She frowns. “It’s, like, five. Barely after five.”

I shrug a little. “Had a rough morning.”

“What happened?”

I hesitate, but fuck it. What do I have to lose now?

“We got caught.”

She stands there staring at me for what feels like a really long time. I finish my water and put the glass in the sink before she finally answers.

“How?”

I tell her the whole story, starting with Howard’s idea, up through his failure and that awkward moment with the group.

“So when everyone left, Jason and I were talking, and we kissed, and that’s when… that’s when Howard came back in.”

She groans. “No way.”

“Seriously. He saw it, saw everything.”

“Jesus.” She shakes her head. “That’s so…”

“Horrible.”

“Stupid,” she corrects.

I blink, surprised. “What?”

“You two were kissing out in the open in like the most dangerous place imaginable. How could you be so stupid?”

I stare at her for a second and I feel a little anger rising up in my chest. “You weren’t there,” I snap at her. “You don’t know.”

“You’re right,” she says, shrugging. “But it was still stupid.”

I stare at her, feel my anger peak, and slowly let it all fade away.

She’s right. I know she’s right. We were stupid, reckless.

We took too many risks.

Jason’s right about risk. It feels good, really good, it makes everything that much sweeter.

But it’s addictive. It’s dangerous. Risk only works if it doesn’t come crashing down in your face like it did earlier.

We got addicted to that risk, and it destroyed us.

Mac’s right. It was stupid to kiss in that room, especially knowing Howard could come back at any moment. It was a stupid, stupid risk.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admit to her. I can feel the despair pushing in again.

“Well, first of all, quit feeling so bad for yourself,” she says.

I bite my lip. “I ruined everything, Mac.”

“Nothing’s ruined,” she says, waving that away. “You and Jason are both consenting adults. So what, so he’s your professor? Maybe he’ll get in some trouble, but if you really want to be with him, you can.”

I shake my head. “No, there’s just no way.”

“Clara, stop.” Mac glares at me. “You’re stronger than this.”

I don’t know what to say. “Maybe I’m not.”

“You are. If you want this man, then fight for him.”

“He left me waiting for him,” I say softly. “He didn’t come back. It’s over, Mac.”

“It’s never over.” She sighs, shaking her head. “I don’t know why I care. I guess I liked him, and I know how you feel about him. I just hate to see it end like this.” She touches my arm as she turns to leave the kitchen. “You’ll be okay, Clara. I promise.”

I watch her sit back down on the couch and I lean up against the refrigerator, her words ringing through my mind.

It’s never over…

But it has to be. There’s no way we can come back from this. He didn’t come back for me, which means things are even worse. He went after Howard, probably tried to bribe him.

But there’s not enough money in the world for that. Not when Howard finally could see his revenge.

I feel my hatred rise up again. Howard, that fucking asshole, that petty little bitch. He’s going to take the best thing that’s ever happened to me away, just because his idea didn’t work out.

That sexist little bastard. I hate him so much, I can barely control myself.

My hands clench into fists. For a second, I think I’m about to smash the wall.

When there’s a knock at the door.

I hesitate, look at Mac. She shakes her head. “Not for me,” she says.

I walk slowly over. The knock comes again, sharp and insistent. My mind runs through a bunch of possibilities.

Police, SWAT team, here to arrest me. The dean of the college, here to kick me out. My parents, here to shame me for being so stupid.

Mac gestures at me. “Go ahead,” she says. “What’s the worst that it could be?”

I groan and whip open the door.

He stares back at me.

The absolute worst-case scenario.

“Hi, Clara,” Howard says.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t move. I just stare at him, eyes wide, as the anger slowly grows.

“What are you doing here?” I finally manage to ask.

He shifts from foot to foot. “Can we… talk?”

I shake my head. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Look, I know I’ve been a bastard to you, but please. Just for a second.”

I think about slapping him. I think about running away.

But the smarter thing is to hear him out. I mean, he has all the power here, after all.

“Fine,” I say. “Come in.”

We walk inside, moving past Mac. She looks a little surprised but doesn’t say anything as I lead Howard to the back of the house and into the back yard.

I sit down on the back steps as he looks around and shoves his hands into his back pockets.

“Go ahead,” I say. “I’m listening.”

He looks away. “I’m here to apologize. I wasn’t very nice to you and I took some of my frustrations out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I frown a little. “Okay, thank you,” I say. “But why are you apologizing?”

He hesitates a second. “It’s part of the deal.”

“Deal…?”

A million ideas run through my mind, but there’s only one person that could’ve pulled something like this off.

“But I really do feel bad,” he says quickly. “I was an asshole. You’re good at what you do, Clara. I shouldn’t be such a dick all the time.”

“Right,” I say. “Thanks.”

He grins at me. “But Jason? Sleeping with your professor? Jesus, Clara.”

“I know.” I look away. “It just happened. I never meant… I don’t know.”

“Hey, whatever. I don’t care anymore, seriously. I’m not judging you.”

I glare at him. “Like you’d have any right to.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, probably not.”

I sigh and look down. “Look, I guess I appreciate you coming out here and doing this, even if you didn’t want to.”

“Can you blame me? Nobody wants to admit they were being an asshole.”

“Yeah,” I say, smiling despite myself. “But, uh… you’re the one with all the power here.”

“True,” he says, smiling even more. “But Jason is very persuasive.”

I frown. “He didn’t… offer you something, did he?”

“At first, it was money,” he admits. “A lot of money, actually. A stupid amount of money. But I turned him down.” Howard paces away, shaking his head. “I was really pissed.”

“I get it,” I say softly. “I would’ve been mad, too.”

“But then I spoke to Parker. He told me that Jason said he was going to bring me the conference.” Howard looks back at me. “He was going to bring both of us. So even though my idea didn’t work out, he appreciated it anyway.”

“Of course he did,” I say softly. “It was a good idea. It just didn’t work out.”

He nods sharply. “So after that, I kind of… rethought things. I cooled off. And like a half hour ago, I went to see him.”

“What did he offer you?”

“A job.”

Hope starts to bloom inside of me. “A job?”

“Not with him,” Howard says. “But at Google. I start as soon as I graduate. I have the paperwork already. He works fast.” Howard laughs a little bit.

“He got you a job at Google?”

“And some money.” He grins at me. “Less than he originally offered, but this job… it’s worth so much more than money.”

I smile a little. “Congratulations.”

“This isn’t how I wanted it to happen, but I don’t care. Google! It’s my dream job.”

“Good, that’s great.”

“So anyway, he told me to come here and tell you. And to apologize to you. And now I did.” He’s grinning, clearly still excited about the job offer. “I guess it’s done with.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, good luck, Clara. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Thanks.” I stand up and he walks past me, back through my apartment. I follow after him, drifting on clouds.

“See you later,” he says, and leaves.

I stand there like a moron, staring at the door.

Mac’s silent for about thirty seconds before bursting out: “Well, what did he say?”

“He’s not telling anyone,” I say softly. “Jason… got him a job. Bribed him into silence.”

“Wow,” Mac says, laughing. “No shit. How’d he manage it?”

“I don’t know,” I say, opening the door. “But I have to go talk to him.”

“Good luck!” she calls after me as I run down the steps, out to the sidewalk, and hurry toward Jason’s house.

I’m out of breath as I bound up his stoop. I knock on the door twice and it opens almost immediately.

“Clara,” he says, surprised. “I was just about to—”

I throw myself at him. I toss my arms around his neck and pull him against me, kissing him deep and slow.

He kisses me back, pulling my body against his.

We break apart after a moment. “Come inside,” he says softly.

I follow him into his apartment. He shuts the door behind me, smiling. “I’m sorry I left you hanging,” he says as I turn to him.

“You asshole,” I say. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, coming closer to me. “I had to scramble to get everything together. I guess you talked with Howard already.”

“Google? Really?”

“Their CEO owes me a favor,” he says, shrugging. “It cost me a lot, cashing a favor in like that, but…” He trails off.

I have tears in my eyes. I hate myself for it, but I can’t help myself.

He comes to me, pulls me against him, “It’s okay,” he says softly.

“No, it isn’t. We’re just going to keep getting caught and sooner or later, you won’t be able to bribe your way out of it.”

“No,” he whispers. “That won’t happen.”

“Jason,” I say, looking up into his handsome eyes. “We can’t. We can’t keep going on like this.”

“I love you, Clara. I’m not giving up on you.”

The words feel like hammers against my body. I stare at him, and the tears really come, rolling down my cheeks. “I love you, too,” I manage to say.

He wipes the tears away and hugs me close. “I love you, Clara. We’re making this work. I promise.”

“How?” I whisper back, voice choked.

“I’m quitting the university.”

I step back. “What?”

“I don’t need it anymore,” he says. “I got what I came for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I got you.” He smiles at me. “I came here looking for talent, and I found it. You’re what I need, Clara.”

“Jason, I…”

“Stop. Listen.” He steps closer. “You’re smarter, more talented, better than any of those guys. You’re the best on this campus, Clara, by far. I need you. I want you to be my partner.”

“Partner?” The word feels like lead in my mouth. I don’t even know what it means.

“We’ll work on my project together and we’ll split it all, fifty-fifty. I’ll be the money, and you’ll be the brains. We’ll do this together, for real.”

“Together,” I whisper.

“Always.” He steps closer and kisses me softly.

I linger in that kiss, my mind whirling like mad.

He loves me. He wants to give half his company to me.

And I love him too. The thought of not being with him drives me insane. I hate thinking about not being near him at all times. I can’t picture my life without Jason now.

“Yes,” I say, breathless, when the kiss ends. “I’ll do it.”

“Good.” He kisses me one more time. “We’ll build something together, Clara. After this semester is over, we won’t have to hide anything. I’ll step down, you’ll finish your degree, and then…”

“Then we’ll just be together.”

“That’s right. Together, us against the world.” He grins at me.

“Just the way I want it, Daddy.”

He kisses me slow and hard.

And I feel like finally, after all of this, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He’s giving something up for me. That means he loves me, he really loves me. This isn’t some schoolgirl crush, it’s real, it’s very real. We’re going to build something together.

We’re going to build a life together.

My heart swells with joy as everything falls into place around me.

I thought we were done. I thought I’d never feel this way again.

But I have him. I have him. I really, really have him.

My Professor. My Daddy.

My love and my life.

I kiss him and I know I’m fine.