It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I was straight, so how was it the best sex of my life had been with a man?

If I wasn't straight, why was it I didn't figure it out until now? I thought back to what Windfra had said. There is no gay in Aldonia. There is no straight. There's just love. And there are many different kinds of love.

We were on the couch together, embracing each other. The room was a little bit cold and I wanted to grab a blanket. At the same time, I didn't want to move. I just wanted to stay there in that position with Beau as long as possible. Until the end of time. I wished I had a camera that could fully capture the moment. Not just the way things look, but the way they felt. The thoughts shooting through my mind that didn't translate into words. The details of every little goosebump on his skin. I just wanted to freeze time and hold on to this moment as long as I could.

"I can't remember ever having been happier," I said.

Beau didn't respond at first. "That man," he said. "The one with the gun? He shot you."

I looked at my arm. The wrap was holding, a small patch of blood visible through the layers.

"Yeah."

"Have you been shot before?"

"A couple of times, yeah. I got lucky. Both times before, the shots missed hitting anything bad. One of them, the doctor said if it was half an inch to the right, it would have hit my heart and I wouldn't have survived."

Beau contemplated this for a second. "If that man. If he’d fired at me? What would you have done?"

"Jump in front of it."

"And you'd be dead," he said.

"That's the risk, yeah. That's the job I signed up for."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"If you're a taxi driver," I said. "You're in danger of getting in a car accident. If you're a pilot, your plane could crash. If you're a chef, your kitchen could catch fire. Every job is at least a little bit dangerous."

"So why do you do it?"

"I'd get bored driving a car all day, I can't fly a plane and I can't cook. What I can do is stay calm if somebody pulls a gun. I can withstand pain. I can make a split-second decision to save someone's life. And I know I can get shot. The bullet hit me in the arm, I'm going to be fine. I don't know if I could say the same thing would happen if it had hit you, instead."

"You're just tougher than most people," Beau said.

"You could say that, I guess. I don't feel that tough. If that bullet had gone through my heart, it wouldn't have done half as much damage as some people have done, just using their words. If someone wants to hurt me, they're wasting their time trying to use a gun. You could hurt me more than anyone else in the world right now."

He nodded, looked around.

"I think it's time we head back to the palace," he said.

"Why?"

"We should probably have a real doctor take a look at your arm."

I nodded. He was right. I just wanted to stay here a few moments longer.

"And I'd like to go back home," he said.

He had a vacant look in his eyes, like he was thinking something he wasn't saying. Like maybe he wasn't feeling the same way I was.

Maybe it was just in my head, I told myself. It had to be.

"Okay," I said. "Let's go back."