“Seriously, Matt, what do you put in this meat? It’s fucking delicious!” Uncle Bill moans around his bite of the burger, while Aunt Hetty scolds him.

“No swearing in front of the kids.” She sends an apologetic smile to my mom, who pours more iced tea for the guests. “Sorry, Margaret. He is a brute.”

My mom wears one of her best pink dresses that causes her green eyes that stay dead most of the time to flash brightly, not that anyone notices.

After all, he has personally chosen it for her.

“It’s okay,” she reassures her, but quickly glances at Father, who flips the meat on the grill a few feet away from us. She must be satisfied with whatever she has seen, because she shifts her focus to me as she slides a plate full of french fries my way. “Here you go, honey. Have fun with your friends.” She runs her finger softly through my hair and nudges me in the direction of the pool, where all the neighbor kids are playing. Gideon and Alp are already there, waving frantically at me from the water as they jump on the float.

This get-together has been organized by my father, who invited the neighbors to celebrate the first day of summer together, sort of a tradition to keep. Since no one cooks better than my dad, everyone eagerly agreed.

He has a façade to maintain, after all; he likes to tell my mom that no one will ever believe her if she goes to the cops or friends. He’ll take her to the psychiatric clinic with a mental disorder and he will be given custody of her “bastard.” We don’t interact with them much anyway unless it’s under Father’s watchful eye. Everyone just thinks Mom prefers to stay at home and do nothing. I’ve heard some women whisper that mom thinks she is too damn good for their friendship.

Shaking my head from the bad memory, I practically bounce on my way as I think about diving into the water. I munch on the fries and pleasure spreads through me, as I haven't had anything but soup and rice in over a month after Mom’s last punishment. Suddenly, Uncle’s Bill voice freezes me to the spot.

“Matt, Alp says your son doesn't know how to swim or hold his breath under water?”

Dad halts his movements, his lips thinning, but he keeps his smile intact as he raises his brow. “Really?”

Uncle Bill nods, comes closer, and lightly punches him on the shoulder. “What kind of father are you that your son doesn't know how to do that? You’ve been slacking.” Everyone collectively laughs, and I relax a bit.

Father is not angry, which is always a good thing, but with his mood swings, Mom and I don't really know what will set him off.

With relief, I join my friends, who talk about PlayStation and Disney trips while I eagerly listen, since I have nothing but books to occupy my time.

Even cartoons are strictly forbidden, because they’d take away Dad’s time from the sports channels.

“We’re going camping this weekend with Dad,” Alp suddenly says, while Gideon adds, “Me too.” Then he splashes water at me and I dip down, grateful it doesn't stain my favorite shirt. “Come with us?” he asks hopefully, but I just shake my head.

“I don’t like to go out.” That's the excuse I always give to everyone, that nothing but school interests me, and it’s not hard to believe with my nose constantly in a book. On the bad days, I wonder why they even stay friends with me and buy me ice cream if I can’t.

And I can’t most of the time, because there is no money to spare.

The rest of the day passes by with tasty food, good times, and warm water, while Uncle Bill teaches me how to swim and dive.

Once Dad closes the door after his last guest leaves, he places his palm, splayed open, on the door, and my mom’s breath hitches as we see him shake with barely contained fury.

She pushes me in the direction of my room, but he turns around rapidly, grabbing me by the nape. I stifle a groan of pain in my throat because he doesn't like them, and he screams in my face, “You like to insult me, bastard, just like your whore of a mother, huh?”

He’s dragging me through the living room when Mom hits his back, begging, “Let go of him, Matt.” He doesn't listen and throws her on the floor with his beefy arm as he continues to walk.

“Mom?” I call, not knowing what to do as fear rushes through my veins. I’ve never had his anger directed at me before. She was always there to intervene. One of the reasons he always started with me was because he knew she would always protect me and never let him hurt me.

“Uncle Bill is your favorite person now, huh? Well let’s see what he has taught you.” With that, we end up in the downstairs bathroom. He turns on the water in the bathtub and picks me up, only for me to land painfully on my back as the water splashes around me. It’s ice-cold, soaking my clothes instantly, and I try to sit up, but he presses on my chest, keeping me on the bottom, while muttering, “Let’s see how long you can stay under.” And slowly the water covers my entire face and ears. It’s too high to breathe, so I hold my breath, but it’s hard, so hard that I move frantically, desperate to find an escape from his hold but not succeeding. He pulls me up then, and I gulp in as much air as possible, but then he pushes me right back under. I choke beneath the water, my lungs burning from lack of oxygen. He repeats the action, lifting me up and pushing me under five more times before he stands up, wiping his hands with a towel while I grab the edges of the tub, breathing frantically and finally managing to turn off the water.

My body is almost paralyzed from the cold, running on adrenaline alone, but I have to get out of here before he comes back.

Tears mixed with water stream down my cheeks, and I hide my face from him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, but he laughs as he leaves the bathroom. “Let it be a lesson, boy.”

A lesson.

Everything is a lesson with my father.

Mom rushes inside, pale as a ghost, and I notice a red mark on her forehead; she must have hit the table with her head. That’s his favorite thing to do. She sways a little as she comes to me, probably still dizzy from her wound. She wraps me in a towel and rocks me from side to side.

She murmurs softly into my ear, “My baby, my poor, poor baby.” As I inhale her scent, I think that everything is okay, because she is here to protect me from the monster.

Psychopath

Ella rolls back from me, lying on her side, and covers herself with a blanket from head to toe. She breathes evenly, although she’s probably dying inside.

After all, despite her claims, her body surrendered to me; even if her mind can never accept me, her body knows who has owned it for the last month.

All this time, when I’ve imagined kidnapping her and introducing her to all my sick wants and desires, that for some reason I desperately want to inflict on her, I never thought that once she was here all I’d want to do was take her the fuck away.

My darkness demanded to be seen by her, because she claimed she loved me. But for the first time in my life, my darkness didn’t need to hurt; it needed to possess.

The damage I’ve done to her beautiful skin is minimal. Sure, it’ll sting, so she’ll remember her challenge, but that’s about it. I could never bring her more hurt, and that pisses some part of me off.

Faking a relationship with her was part of the game, and certainly entertained me. I needed to learn her weaknesses, make her fall in love with me first so I could fully enjoy all of this. It was hard some days to act like a lovesick fool, but if it brought me victory? I didn’t mind.

Right now though, I don’t feel all that good about my victory, because although her body was in it, mentally, Ella was not.

Who the fuck have I become?

Disgust washes over me as I get up, putting on jeans and pulling at my hair, unpleasant memories entering my mind.

The beast inside me roars to get out, and I need to be far away from her to get a hold on these confusing emotions that are so foreign for me.

Grabbing another blanket from the chair, I cover her with it; although her eyes are closed, I know she’s awake.

With one final glance, I close the cage behind me and go back to the house, where the raging inferno inside me can calm down.

Although I have a suspicion that nothing will be ever the same.

Ella

Waking up groggy once again, I sit up swiftly, only to be reminded how much my body is sore after Kierian had his way with me, and disgust at my willing body sets in.

How could I have allowed it?

I remove the blanket and see myself dressed in a white flannel dress that reaches my ankles. The chain lies nearby; I’m free of it. A buzzing sound comes from above me, and the sink slowly drips water, which is getting on my nerves, so I do everything I can to block the sound from my ears.

I get up, looking around but not seeing Kierian anywhere.

He left me alone in his basement! I come closer to the cage and pull at the bars, but they don’t budge. I kneel in front of the lock, studying the small opening all around.

Searching through my small prison, I try to find anything that will help get me the hell out of here, but I find nothing. If I had a bra, I could have used the metal from there, but he had to kidnap me in the middle of the night.

Screaming in frustration, I kick the bars, only to have pain travel to my knee, and I mutter, “Ouch.” I touch the wall, hoping there is an opening in it, but come up blank there too.

Same with the floor, so much fucking stone that it would be impossible to dig.

My fingers are red and swollen from constantly searching for a means of escape, and my throat feels dry, although I ignore the food and water he left for me on the table.

Eating and drinking will mean agreeing to his methods or taking his generosity, and I won’t do that.

I try a few more times to squeeze between the bars, to scream for help, to find a way out, when it finally sinks in there is no escape from here.

With a silent cry, I kneel in front of the bars, clutching them tightly as my body shakes with sobs.

“Think, Ella, think,” I murmur to myself, desperately needing to hear my voice so I won’t go insane. “How can you get the hell out of here?”

Slowly, I go back to the mattress and sit there, rocking back and forth, until realization hits me.

And with that, I fall asleep.