I don’t know what I thought it would feel like being inside the beach house again. The last time I was here I dressed, poured a smoothie, and left for my killer session with Javier. I grimaced. Bad choice of words.

I wandered through the rooms, feeling like a stranger.

Reid was behind me. “I’ve added additional window sensors and laser triggers at all entry points. I don’t have a full computer system installed, but by the end of the week you’ll have the best tech I have.”

“Mmmhmm.” I nodded absently.

I looked out at the ocean breaking against the shore. It was rough today.

There were two men planted on the beach, wearing ball caps. There were two more in my driveway. This didn’t feel like home.

Suddenly, Reid’s arms wrapped around me. He kissed the side of my head.

“Something’s wrong. What is it?” he asked.

I didn’t want to admit he was right. I was more comfortable at Big Bear.

“It sounds dumb.”

“Try me.”

I sighed. “It feels creepy here. Like someone’s watching. Maybe it’s all the windows.”

It was why I had loved the old house to begin with. It wasn’t one of the new fancy Malibu houses. It had been here since the first wave of celebrities moved to the coast in the fifties. The windows stretched from the floor to the ceiling. I had loved the sunlight. Now I wished I could board up the windows and hide.

Right now those windows made my skin crawl.

“Let’s head back to Big Bear,” he offered.

I shook my head. “I’m not going to be scared out of my own home. Besides, I’m not going to miss my first awards dinner. I have a dress you’re going to love.”

I spun to face him. Maybe all I needed was a little Reid distraction.

“What kind of dress?”

“A very low-cut black dress.” I grinned, flattening my hands against the ridges of his abs.

“Is that so?”

I nodded. “Want a preview before tonight?”

He brushed his lips over mine. “I’d love a preview, but I have to go over the schematics over the venue.”

I stuck my bottom lip out. “Schematics over sex?”

“Believe me. Not an easy decision, but the dinner is only a few hours away, unless you want to cancel. In that case I promise to put your dress to good use right now.” He gripped my ass roughly and I moaned. “Want a trade?” he taunted.

I shook my head. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Then sex will wait.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Fine.” He took a step back. “But you aren’t leaving, are you?” Little alarm bells went off under my skin. I didn’t want to stay in the beach house even if I was under heavy protection.

“No. I’ll be here. I’ve had everything sent to my tablet. I’m not leaving.”

I sighed. “Good. Maybe I’ll lie down then. Can you work in my room? There’s a desk.”

“I can do that.”

He followed me down the hall to the master bedroom. It was a suite I remodeled as soon as I bought the house. There were soft blush hues mixed with a pale sky blue. I liked to think it was somehow both cool and warm at the same time.

He watched as I curled up in the center of the bed. Reid pulled a blanket over me, draping it at my shoulders.

“Don’t let me oversleep,” I warned. “I need at least two hours for hair and makeup.”

“Got it. I remember your schedule.” He smiled.

“I remember all of this.” I knew I sounded sleepy. My body felt heavy and exhausted.

“All of what?” he asked, running a hand over my hip.

My eyes burned too much to open. “The way we fit together.” I turned into the feather pillow. “The way your hands feel. The bourbon you drink.”

“You remember all that?”

“Mmmhmm.” I nodded. “And how no one else in their right mind gets up at 5am to work out. Except us.”

“What?”

I thought there was something different in his voice.

“I never dated anyone after you who wanted to wake up before five. We’re the crazy ones, I guess.” I didn’t know if either of us liked it as much as it was what we had trained our bodies to do.

“No one else you dated…” His voice trailed off. “Holy fuck.”

My eyes blinked open.

“I-I didn’t mean to say I dated other people.”

He waved me off. “Not that. I dated other people, Abi.”

“It’s ok. I know.” I just wanted him to rub my hip and put me back to sleep.

“No. I said something once.” He walked from the bed and paced in front of the window.

This nap was going nowhere. I pushed myself up. “What is it, Reid?”

He sat in an overstuffed chair. It was funny it could actually make him look normal-sized. He folded his hands together.

His eyes landed on me. “There was a girl I dated.”

“We have a mini-past. I’m ok with it.”

He shook his head. “This girl. She wanted more from me. She wanted to take me home to meet her parents and buy a dog together. She was serious. More serious than I ever was about her.” His eyes drifted across the room. “And I was a fucking dick to her. I said something shitty.”

I didn’t know why he was confessing, but I listened.

“It couldn’t have been that bad. You’ve never said anything I couldn’t forgive.”

He huffed. “I said, you really think I want to meet your parents. I don’t even want to spend my 5am workouts with you.” He paused. “She laughed and said that that was ridiculous, no woman would get up that early anyway. And instead of keeping my fucking mouth shut, I told her she was wrong. I told her I loved 5am with you. That you were worth the sting of the morning. That you were the kind of woman I wanted to take home. That I’d buy a dog with you, because 5am workouts with you were what made me want to wake up every day.”

I swallowed hard and my stomach knotted. “Oh my God.”

He closed his eyes. “This is my fucking fault.”

I rushed from the bed and knelt in front of him. “You think it’s her? The girl you dated?”

His eyes hardened. “She had a tattoo on her wrist. Something from a college spring break trip.”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think.

“Where is she?” I asked, shaking him. “Where did she go when you broke up?”

He lifted his head. “L.A. She moved to L.A.”