My entire body was frozen in ice as I saw the blue plus sign on the stick. I didn't even need to check the instructions to know for sure. My period was two weeks late and that could only mean one thing: I was pregnant.
But how could this have happened? I'd taken my pill every night like clockwork. I opened the bathroom door and checked to make sure Roman was still asleep. Our little early morning fuck session would keep him knocked out for awhile. I sneaked over to my side of the bed and grabbed my pill container off the nightstand.
I went back to the bathroom and inspected my pill. Everything looked correct. I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't my fault. We must have been very lucky then.
I sat down on the toilet and tossed the pregnancy test into the trash can. What was I going to do? Should I wake up Roman and tell him?
No. Not yet. I needed to confirm it. No use freaking him out if it's nothing. I'd have to skip school today and see a doctor.
–
“Well Ms. Turner, you're a hundred percent pregnant,” an old man with spectacles and a white lab coat told me.
Tears came streaming down my cheeks. I didn't know whether to be happy or scared out of mind.
The doctor took a seat next to me and cleaned his glasses. “I take it from your reaction that this wasn't planned.”
I shook my head, my throat closing up. “I've only known the guy for a month. I don't even know if he wants to be with me, let alone have a kid.”
Would Roman even make a good father? He was a killer for god's sake. Maybe it was time to run home? My parents would know what to do. But how could I ever tell them everything that happened. Would they even want me back after finding out that I became a drug addict?
A nurse with short brown hair popped her head in. “Doctor, I have Mrs. Penbel in waiting room three.”
“I'll be right there,” he replied. The doctor turned back towards me. “Tell your man the truth. You might be surprised by his reaction.”
The doctor was right. Roman had done nothing that should make me think that he would react badly. I just imagined he would tell me that it was over and leave me for good. But Roman was a good man. We loved one another.
I checked my cellphone—Roman had insisted I get a new one when I moved in with him—two missed calls from Roman. I couldn't call him back because he'd be able to tell that something was wrong in my voice.
I sent him a quick text:
Emma: Class got canceled today. Be home soon!
Roman replied instantly:
Roman: I'll be here.
I thanked the doctor and jumped into my brand new Mazda 3. Roman had also insisted on buying me a brand new car. I tried to refuse, reminding him that he was out of work and shouldn't spend that type of money on me. He wouldn't even hear me.
My sweaty palms clenched the steering wheel as I drove back home. How was I going to break it to him? “Oh hey Roman. By the way, I'm having your baby.” Sounded stupid when I said it out loud. “Roman, will you have a baby with me?” That sounded like I was giving him the honor of being a father. Nothing that came to mind sounded good. I'd just have to wing it.
I unlocked the door to our apartment and found Roman sitting on our couch with his head in his hands. He immediately got up and came to me, his eyes on the verge of crying. What happened? Was that why he was trying to call me?
“I was so worried,” Roman said, embracing me. His musky scent almost lifted me off my feet. I wanted to stay safe in his arms forever. Roman pushed me to arms length and looked me in the eyes. “I want to have this baby with you.”
My jaw dropped. Every nerve in my body relaxed. He wanted to have the baby. “How did you find out?”
Roman laughed. “Wasn't very hard. You left the pregnancy test in the bathroom.”
“I guess I was so blindsided that I didn't even think of that. You're not mad are you?”
Roman looked offended. “Mad?” He grabbed both of my hands. “How could I be mad? I want to do this with you. And actually I was planning to do this in a couple weeks but now is a better time.” Roman got down on one knee and produced a small jewelry box. It popped open and sitting on a bed of clouds was a silver engagement ring with the biggest diamond. “Emma, you're the one. There's nobody else I'd rather spend my life with. I love you.”
I couldn't turn off the waterworks if I tried. I was so shocked and happy at the same time that I couldn't form a reply to Roman. He just sat there on his knee, holding the ring up.
“Any answer would be great right about now.” Roman looked worried.
I nodded up and down, shedding tears everywhere. “Of course the answer is yes.”
Roman put the ring on my finger and I couldn't help but admire how beautiful it looked on me. Roman finally got off his knee and hugged me hard.
“Promise me you'll love me forever,” I whispered in his ear.
“I promise with all my heart,” he replied softly.