The first few times I threw up, Sherri laughed it off and made jokes about how I’d drunk too much rum, and when guests weren’t around, I passive-aggressively blamed her for my plight. After all, if she hadn’t insisted I eat that sushi, this wouldn’t have been a problem. But you could only blame sushi for so long and that had been a week ago.

After throwing up for nearly a week straight, Sherri approached me in my room. “I’ve known you a very long time,” she said, striding in and shuffling through her purse. “I know I’m your boss, but I’m also your friend.”

“Sure,” I replied.

She looked me straight in the eye as she pulled out a box. “You’re an attractive omega, and I’ve noticed that a certain alpha male has shown…considerable interest in you.”

“You did, huh?”

She nodded.

“There isn’t anything there anymore,” I said, plopping onto the sofa. “He thinks we’re…well, he wasn’t interested in doing anything else with me.”

“But you had sex?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but no sound came out. That was a ridiculously inappropriate question to ask, and my surprise rendered me silent. “I’m wondering,” Sherri said. “If you might be pregnant.”

Sherri had lost her mind. That, or I was dreaming. I couldn’t possibly be pregnant. Nope “I’m sorry. What?” I asked, trying to smother my sudden burst of hysterical laughter.

“You’ve been kind of moody lately, and you’ve been sexually active. I don’t think it’s that unfeasible.”

“I’m not pregnant,” I said, even though my stomach twisted at the words.

But what if I was pregnant? What if I was carrying Adrian’s child? Did I want to have Adrian’s child? I wanted a child certainly. When I pictured my life, I always pictured kids in it. Kids and a loving alpha. A comfortable lifestyle, not necessarily as extravagant as Adrian’s, but enough to get by. Enough to save for kids’ college funds. Enough to have all the bills on autopay without having to worry about overdrawing and being charged outrageous bank fees. I’d also imagined myself being a few years older. Settled.

“Look, I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Sherri said. “You’re not my omega, but I think you ought to just check.”

“Do I really need to?”

Sherri nodded and tossed the pregnancy test to me. “I can wait if you want, or I can leave. If you are pregnant, we can attempt to make reasonable accommodations.”

“Or I can go home,” I said.

She nodded. There was a doctor on board, but he was there for minor injuries and emergencies. Not delivering babies.

I opened the pregnancy test and held it in my hand. Who’d known that a small piece of plastic could be so terrifying?

“I can leave if you like,” Sherri said, “Or if you think you’ll need someone, I can stay. Whichever makes you feel better.”

“Stay,” I said, “Because if I am, I might actually die.”

Sherri cracked a smile and perched on the arm of the sofa. I swallowed thickly and walked into the bathroom. After I pulled the door shut, I stared at the pregnancy test as if the answer might magically materialize through telepathic waves. I didn’t particularly need to urinate, but I could probably muster enough for this.

But.

There was no need to worry about all this until I’d taken the test. I unzipped my pants and followed the directions, and after zipping my pants back up, I waited. For several moments, I just stared at the ceiling. When I looked at the test, my entire life could change. All my plans could be washed away. I’d have to tell Adrian, too; he deserved to know.

But how would he react? Would he be angry? He didn’t want anything to do with me except maybe sex. He didn’t want more complications, and this would certainly fall under the definition of being a complication. I rubbed my forehead and dared a quick glance down.

Positive.

It had to be a mistake. We’d used condoms. We’d been careful. This couldn’t have happened to us. To me. I opened the door. “Sherri,” I said, choking on her name.

She was at my side in an instant. Wordlessly, I held up the test. “Lance,” she said. “Okay. You need to try others just to be sure.”

“I can’t feel my legs.”

Sherri wrapped an arm around my waist and helped me to the floor. The polished wood was almost comforting, so smooth and cool beneath me. “What am I going to do?” I asked. “I have to tell him. I have to tell Adrian. He’s going to be furious.”

“Why would he be?” Sherri asked. “He knowingly engaged in consensual sex with you. There’s always a chance this could happen.”

Admittedly, her reasoning was pretty good, and I wouldn’t be losing much at this point. Adrian already didn’t want anything to do with me. Why did it really matter if he wanted to blame me for this? “Yeah,” I replied. “You’re right.”

Sherri rubbed my shoulders. “But I’ll go with you to tell him,” she said, “If that’ll make you feel more comfortable.”

Nothing would make me feel comfortable about telling Adrian Lafayette I was having his child. Nothing in the world. I took a deep breath. “I suppose it’d be bad form to tell him with a text?” I asked with a laugh.

I didn’t have any idea how I felt about this, so I might as well make a joke of it. See if it helped soothe my nerves. It didn’t.

“Very bad form,” Sherri said, “But you’re brave. You can do this. Just…get confirmation first, and then we’ll make plans for you. There’s only four weeks left before we return to harbor. If you want to stay, you can. If you want to go on the trip after this, you can, but it’s the six-month one. You couldn’t keep working much longer after that, and…at that point, I wouldn’t be able to guarantee much help for you. You’d have to depend on whatever medical facilities the nearest port had to offer.”

“I know. I’ll finish out this trip. If I am going to have a kid, I’ll need the money, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll tough it out and then worry about it. I can always go to Mom’s house. I’ll go there and make sure everything is set up. I can’t be that far along. Maybe four or five weeks. I’ll reconnect with some people, throw a baby shower, figure out where I stand with Adrian.”

Sherri wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Maybe you should take a couple of days off anyway. Just to give yourself time to process everything.”

I nodded. “You’re the best,” I said. “I really don’t deserve you.”

She smiled. “It happens,” she said. “Come on. Do you want to lay down? I can run upstairs and get something that might help with the nausea at least.”

I let her help me to my feet. Nothing seemed to really exist at the moment, and it was easier to let her take control of things, to obediently follow her lead, than it was to argue. I climbed into bed and arranged the covers over myself. Sherri furrowed her brow and crossed the room. I wasn’t sure what she was doing until she scooped Abandon All Hope off the floor. “Did it make you angry?” she asked.

“Furious,” I replied.

She handed it to me, and I traced Adrian’s embossed name on the cover. “I’ve been trying to learn to be a better reader,” I said. “To find all the little patterns and symbols.”

Sherri patted my knee. “More power to you. I’m terrible at that sort of thing. I’ll be right back. I’ll bring another test with me.”

I nodded. As she left, I cracked open the book and idly fingered the place I’d dogeared earlier. Was there really any point in continuing to read if I knew how it ended? Wasn’t some of the magic gone? I licked my lips and rubbed my thumb across the pages.

All my inadequacies seem to collect in my head. I’m not strong. I don’t know how to fight or defend myself, and I’m not even in-shape. I’m downright scrawny, all bones and skin. I wish I could say that everything will be okay. I wish I could say that I don’t doubt myself. Jóhannes wouldn’t doubt himself, would he? I wish I was more like him. I wish I had his strength and my mother’s powers; maybe this would be easier, then.

“Me, too, Clarisa,” I muttered.

I hoped my story didn’t end like hers. True, Adrian and I didn’t have an evil witch coming between us, but we did have a lot of potential issues. I was never going to be Elizabeth, and I suspected that was what he really wanted.

A week and several pregnancy tests later, I was forced to admit I was pregnant. Even though I’d taken time off and seldom left my room, I’d run into Adrian three times and Angelica twice. Today made the fourth. My throat was dry as I watched Adrian. He was typing on his laptop. He looked fine. Cold and composed, as usual.

I approached and stood at his side rocking back on my heels. “How are you?” I asked.

“You haven’t been around lately.”

He’d noticed my absence! I bit my lip and flushed, embarrassed at the delighted little flutter I’d felt in my chest. “I’ve been dealing with some personal things,” I said. “I…”

There was no need to expect the worst. We weren’t even in a relationship. The absolute worst thing that would happen was he’d yell at me. He couldn’t call off our relationship or anything.

I still couldn’t do it.

“Can we talk?” I asked. “Do you mind?”

“Depends. What do you want to talk about?”

I needed to tell him. I should tell him. He had a right to know this. “Endings,” I croaked out.

I had to tell him but not yet.

“Do you know how many conversations I’ve had about the ending of that book?” Adrian asked sounding bored already.

“For an artist, you’re very dispassionate about your work.”

I sat in the empty chaise lounge beside him and crossed my arms.

“I’m not dispassionate,” Adrian replied. “It’s just that no one ever has anything new to add. If you were a celebrated artist and every single person you ran into wanted to have the exact same conversation, how would you feel?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’d be happy they enjoyed my work enough to think about it and to want to talk about it.”

Adrian sighed. “What did you think about it?”

“I hated it. Clarisa deserved a happy ending,” I said, declining to tell him that I had, maybe, skipped around a bit.

“Why?” Adrian asked.

“Because she was a good person! She loved Jóhannes and fought for him against supernatural forces! She deserved him and he deserved her. Why would you write a story where two good people, in love, couldn’t be together?”

“Clarisa is terrible. She’s moody, quick-tempered, selfish, and has a terrible fear of commitment. It takes her half the book just to admit she does like the hero.”

“And are you calling yourself all those things?”

Adrian looked taken aback.

“You said those characters were both parts of you. If you dislike Clarisa for all those things, do you also see them in yourself?”

“I never should’ve told you that,” Adrian said.

He did believe that. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “You’re right. We don’t know each other that well, but your actions have proved you’re a good guy. You’re taking care of your daughter. You’re on this pirate ship, admittedly, completely miserable, but you’re doing it for Angelica. Doesn’t that all count for something?”

“Do you know why I’m taking care of Angelica now? Because I was never around when she was really little. Joan practically raised her from the time she was born. I traveled around and took Elizabeth with me. It isn’t some great act of generosity; it’s making amends.”

“But doesn’t making amends mean you’re trying to do better? That means something to me, and I know it means something to your daughter.”

“You’d befriend a monster,” Adrian said.

“Maybe,” I admitted, “but maybe the monster is just misunderstood. Like Frankenstein’s monster. Maybe he’s been neglected by his creator.”

“Ah, Shelley,” Adrian said, looking amused. “And what did you take from her? Anything interesting?”

I sighed. “That’s from my first semester at community college,” I admitted. “It’s a bit foggy.”

“Ever consider going back?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes.”

Not now that I had a baby on the way.

“You should.”

“You know university isn’t for everyone,” I replied.

“That’s true,” Adrian conceded. “But what do you plan to do? Work here forever?”

“Maybe. I just want to work with kids. Have kids of my own. That’s all.”

“But why?”

I shrugged. “Why not? Why do you like writing? Why does anyone like anything?”

Adrian took my hand, and I fought to hide my shiver at the personal contact. His thumb rubbed across my palm, as he gazed at my hand. “Elizabeth knew how to read palms,” he said. “Fortune-telling, you know? I always thought it was a bunch of nonsense.”

“But?”

“But I indulged her, of course,” Adrian said. “She enjoyed doing it. Why would I mock her for that?”

He put his face close to mine, and I felt my pulse quicken. When he moved in for a kiss, I didn’t stop him. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smelled like expensive cologne and salt-spray, and I wanted to just drink in all the scents. His lips were soft against mine, which were dry and chapped from neglect, but there was something about the kiss that ignited a fire in my belly. I could kiss him all day.

He broke away and stared at me, his green eyes fierce. “I can’t,” I said.

“But you want this,” he replied. “I can smell it.”

“I know, but I can’t…you don’t know what you want,” I said. “Sex, obviously, but you don’t want the same thing I want. I need that emotional connection, and maybe you don’t. But I just don’t…this doesn’t feel right.”

Adrian dropped my wrist. “That’s it, then?” he asked. “For you, it’s a relationship or nothing at all, huh?”

My heart pounded so loudly I heard it in my head. I sucked in a deep breath and tried to steady myself. “Yeah,” I said, although the reply didn’t come out nearly as assertively as I wanted it to. “Yeah, that’s the deal.”

“Too bad,” Adrian said.

Now seemed like the absolute worst time to tell him I was carrying his child. “Yeah,” I replied, as I stood. “Too bad.”