It took Adrian three hours to arrive at my cabin, pounding his fist against my door. I opened it and stood a bit behind the door. For a long moment, we stared at one another. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” Adrian finally said.

He entered, his steps long and confident. My breath hitched as he grasped my wrists, his thumbs rubbing quick and hot circles on my skin. I should’ve pulled away. I should’ve insisted he had no right to come here. He’d called it off. He’d called us off. I couldn’t, though. Not with my stomach twisting with wanton need. I would’ve let him fuck me senseless if he’d wanted to. I may have even hoped it would go in that direction.

“I’m not that interesting, am I?” I offered.

Adrian laughed. “No,” he said. “On the contrary, you are…so genuine. You’re wonderful. You’re just not…”

“Not Elizabeth,” I said.

“Right,” Adrian agreed.

“I won’t tell you how to handle your grief,” I said, “but I’m sure Elizabeth would just want you to be happy. If I make you happy…”

“You do,” Adrian replied. “But maybe we should take this…”

“I’m fine with taking it slowly,” I said, “But I need a direction. Either you want me and want to try to make this work, or you don’t. I can deal with either one, but I need to know up front.”

Adrian breathed in and out hard. He pulled me closer so his body was against mine. I shivered in delight at the physical contact, his well-built muscles separated only by the thin cotton of our shirts. “I want to try,” Adrian said, “but I can’t promise it’ll be smooth sailing.”

“That’s all right.”

“I want to take you on a few dates, and get to know you outside of the bedroom as well as I know you inside the bedroom.”

“Okay.”

Adrian bent his head to my neck and inhaled sharply. “God, you always smell so ready,” he whispered. “So ready. It’s been driving me crazy living just a staircase away from you. I wake in the night and swear I can smell you.”

My breath quickened. Warmth flooded my face, and my body tingled with anticipation of what I hoped was to come. “Is this leading to make-up sex?” I asked.

Adrian laughed, his mouth still close to my neck. “Do you want it to?” he whispered.

“I…wouldn’t complain,” I admitted.

Adrian kissed my jaw. “Maybe it’s a little soon for that,” he said.

“Okay,” I breathed. “What do you want to do?”

Adrian released my wrists and strode to my sofa. Idly, he picked up my copy of Arabian Nights. “It’s not my fault Amazon Prime doesn’t ship to the middle of the ocean,” I replied defensively.

“It isn’t,” he replied, flipping idly through a few pages. “But you like this book?”

“It’s a fun read, but I’m sure I don’t get nearly as much from it as you do.”

“Well,” Adrian replied, “it’s hardly your fault for not knowing something that has to be learned. No one just knows how to read literature. It’s a skill that must be taught.”

I sat beside him. With a smirk, he pulled me closer. I rested my head in the crook between his neck and his shoulder. “Have you ever loved anyone?” Adrian asked.

“Maybe you,” I said. “I mean, I’m not sure I really know what love is.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Is that bad?”

“No,” Adrian replied. “But it’s difficult to believe someone like you has never experienced it. Didn’t you date in high school? There must’ve been someone you thought you loved.”

“Not really,” I said. “I didn’t have many friends. Because my dad was in the military, we moved around a lot.”

“You must have lots of fascinating stories then, about all the places you’ve been.”

“Well, it wasn’t that grand. We mostly stayed in the South. No exotic trips to Iceland or anything like that. Maybe that’s why I like working on this ship so much. The world feels so much larger out here than it does at home.”

I’d miss that when I had the baby and went back to my mom’s house in Pensacola, Florida. The vastness of the sea and the people, the sense of a small community. Pensacola was a city, and it was entirely possible that however long you lived there, you’d never meet the same person twice. That just didn’t happen on a ship as small as ours.

“I imagine it does,” Adrian said. “Would you like to see the world?”

“Who wouldn’t?” I asked. “The alternative is staying home and never really experiencing much. Of course, I’d want to, but I don’t have the resources for it.”

And I might be having a baby soon.

“Angelica wants to see the world, too,” Adrian said. “You really pitched her on this idea of being a pirate princess. She wants to sail around the world when she turns eighteen. Thanks for that.”

I laughed. “She’s ten,” I said. “Didn’t you ever have crazy ideas when you were ten? That doesn’t mean she’ll actually do it.”

“Well still,” Adrian said. “If she does, I’m blaming you, and I will track you down and give you a piece of my mind regardless of where you are eight years from now.”

“Even if I’m married and have kids?”

Adrian’s expression was indecipherable. “You, married and with kids…” he muttered. “I don’t know if I like that thought.”

“I can’t get a handle on you,” I said. “You liked having sex with me. You felt guilty after making that one smart remark towards me. I thought we had something that night at dinner, and then you just dropped me. Now, you’re willing to take me up again. Sort of. Maybe. But you don’t like the thought of me married and having children with someone else. I don’t know how to feel about you, and for all your posturing about being blunt, I don’t think you really know how you feel about me. You confuse me.”

Adrian frowned. “You make me sound so wishy-washy.”

“You’re being wishy-washy.”

Adrian crooked a finger beneath my chin and turned my head towards his. “Maybe. But you should be aware that once I decide I do want you, you’ll be mine. I’m not accustomed to being refused what I want.”

I shifted on the sofa and straddled his waist. “You’ve said so before,” I said. “I’m waiting for you to figure out what you want, though.”

“And I’m taking my time. It’s driving you wild, isn’t it?”

I glanced away. “I’m not sure wild is the word for it,” I replied.

“It smells like it is.”

“That’s my desire for sex you’re smelling. Not enjoyment derived from not knowing whether or not I’ve found my alpha.”

“After your mother died, how long did it take you to stop grieving?” Adrian asked.

I rested on my forearms, my face inches from his. “I don’t know,” I said. “A while. I still think about her sometimes. Some days are harder than others, but for what it’s worth, it does get easier.”

“Abandon All Hope sold more copies than any novel I’ve ever written. It won more awards than anything I’ve written. And it was created during the months right after Elizabeth’s death. My grief built my greatest work, and I wonder if maybe I’m being a bit…indulgent in that regard.”

“How do you mean?”

“Emotion is good for writing,” Adrian replied. “But I wonder if I’ll ever feel so strongly about anything.”

“Of course, you will,” I replied. “Don’t be silly!”

“You have that much faith in me, do you?”

“Sure.”

Adrian hummed. “There’s a book by David Foster Wallace called A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, and it’s about a cruise he took once.”

“Because it’s supposedly, I assume he didn’t really like the cruise?” I asked.

“That’s exactly right,” Adrian said. “Wallace is, of course, a highly-educated man, so he was bored to tears on a cruise where no one was as brilliant as he was.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“You,” Adrian replied, rolling his eyes. “I was actually going to argue that Wallace was incorrect in his assertions. I’ve found some worthwhile people aboard this ship. Perhaps Wallace didn’t make the best of what he had.”

“Oh? Who’ve you met?”

“Cheeky, aren’t you?” Adrian asked.

“Bite me,” I replied.

Adrian grabbed me around my waist and with astonishing ease tossed me onto the sofa cushions. I gawked as he grabbed my wrists and effortlessly pinned me beneath him. My heart was in my throat. “Dear God, you’re strong,” I said.

“I know,” he growled. “Bite you, you said?”

“I didn’t mean literally. Rude,” I said, although my smile betrayed my words. “Are you staking your claim?”

Adrian lowered his head, his hair brushing my forehead. Lightly, his tongue teased my jaw. Then, my neck and throat. I gulped and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling myself closer to him. “I think I will,” he growled.

He inhaled sharply and nibbled at my neck. I groaned and arched my back, rubbing our hips together. That urged him on. He bit down harder, hard enough to mark me. I whined and curled my hands, digging my nails into the palms. Adrian bucked his hips, already hard beneath his swimming trunks.

I burst into uncontrollable laughter. Slowly, Adrian lifted his head and gave me a nonplussed frown. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Really sorry. I just thought…you said I’m always ready. You’re already hard.”

“I wouldn’t be hard already if you weren’t such a little minx,” he growled.

“Minx,” I mouthed.

With a mocking smile on his face, Adrian shifted his weight down. He rubbed his hips against mine. I tossed my head back against the sofa cushions and stifled another bout of laughter. If anything, this seemed to encourage him even more. He grunted and sped up, rubbing his cock against mine. We were still separated by our clothing, but the movement was intense. I bucked and twisted against him, trying to get more of him and trying to match his quick pace. My muscles tensed, and I whined deep in my throat. I came suddenly and remained where I was while Adrian finished and he lowered himself onto me.

My chest rose and fell quickly against his, and I settled easily beneath his superior weight and warmth. We remained like that for a long time before Adrian pulled himself up and gazed down at me. “Minx,” he said. “Look how flushed you are.”

“I’ve never liked the way I blush,” I said.

“No?”

I shook my head. “Well, my face in general, really. It’s always been too obvious how I feel. I can’t hide my emotions from anyone.”

But I was hiding his baby. The secret of our baby. I swallowed thickly.

“That’s fine,” Adrian said. “It’s sort of adorable, to be honest.”

I licked my lips and nodded. Guilt twisted in my stomach. I needed to tell him.

But we were going to try us out.

But he deserved to know.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Are you in need of some more affection?” Adrian asked, running his hands through my hair.

One night. I could tell him in the morning. I just needed a little more time to mentally prepare myself. Then, I’d be able to do it.