Chapter Twelve
Caspian woke up the next morning on the pillow, curled against Bran’s side. Many of the people on the outskirts of the room had dispersed during the night, and those who remained were still fast asleep. Caspian blinked a few times to clear the blurriness from his eyes, then rolled over. Before he got far, Bran hooked an arm around his waist and dragged him back across the pillow. Caspian let out a laugh.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Bran asked affectionately. He kissed the back of Caspian’s head.
“To find a bathroom. How many times did we make love last night? I need to shower.”
“We made love all night.” Bran kissed him again. “You were insatiable.”
“It was the hottest thing I’d ever done in my life, having sex in front of people like that.”
“They adore you, just like I knew they would.” Bran sounded satisfied, and that made Caspian happy in turn. “I can’t remember a better Ceremony of Life and Death.”
“And do things like this happen often?” Caspian asked. After last night, he felt energized. He felt silly. “Is this going to be a royal duty we have to fulfill? Having public sex in front of your subjects?”
“Mm. No.” Bran nuzzled against the back of his head. “We have them to celebrate the passing of royal life and the addition of royal life.”
“Addition?”
“I think, in mortal terms, you might refer to this as an engagement party.”
Caspian’s blood ran cold. His enthusiasm shriveled. “A what?”
Bran didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. He kept an arm loosely hooked over Caspian’s waist and pressed a tender kiss to the back of his head. “The Ceremony of Life and Death marks the start or the end of a life in the royal family. We have formalized the intent to start your life as a royal.”
Caspian didn’t know what to say. On a fundamental level, he recognized that Bran was his soulmate. The ties that bound them were impossible to deny, and Caspian knew that he’d never feel for another person as deeply as he felt for Bran, but to get engaged? Without discussing it? They’d hardly knew each other. He’d only met Bran, as a person, for the first time outside of his dream world the day before.
It was insanity.
“Bran,” Caspian said hesitantly. “You didn’t tell me that the ceremony was about… that.”
“I suppose I didn’t. It’s a common fact of life here in the palace. It didn’t occur to me that you wouldn’t know.”
Caspian wasn’t sure if he should believe Bran.
On the balcony of the room right over the ocean, Bran had told him not to worry about it, and that everything was going to be okay. He knew that Caspian wasn’t familiar with the culture of his dimension. So why the oversight?
“In the days to come, we’ll busy ourselves with planning for the formal commitment ceremony,” Bran continued. “Once that occurs, you shall officially be my lifelong partner and a valued member of the royal family.”
Caspian rolled away from Bran and sat up. The pillow sucked him in, and he grimaced and rolled all the way off it. Engaged? Married? Bran had taken him home for the very first time in order to tie him down?
Caspian didn’t doubt that he loved Bran. As cheap as it felt to fall in love so hard and so fast, the circumstances were extraordinary. The kind of love he shared with Bran spanned dimensions and drew Caspian in, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to settle down so soon. Not by a long shot.
“How can I join the royal family when I know nothing about it? The land or your father?”
“You will learn, hatchling. And you will be looked after.”
“But how can I be your partner if you don’t tell me anything?” Caspian asked, ruffled. “All this time you’ve been telling me, it’s not important, but it is. Who you are, what you were doing when I found you, and what the ceremony was for… you’ve been hiding all of it from me.”
“But it’s not anything bad, hatchling.” Bran sounded mildly distressed. He sat up and met Caspian’s eye. “None of it was done maliciously. Sometimes it’s just best to experience before you understand.”
“Not when it comes to getting married, it isn’t!”
Those on the outskirts of the room were starting to stir, but Caspian didn’t care. Bran hadn’t been transparent with him from the start and needed to be called out on it. “How do you expect me to be your partner when you can’t even confide simple things in me? You wouldn’t even give me your name!”
“But I did.”
Caspian furrowed his brow. He stood. “After the fact. It’s always after the fact. If you’re so set on making us partners, then why can’t you afford me an equal standing? Why don’t I deserve to know what's going on?”
There were whispers. Caspian thought they sounded angry. He knew he was asking for trouble picking a fight with a prince, but he couldn’t let this slide.
“Hatchling,” Bran said soothingly. “Your feathers are ruffled. If you don’t want to come back down here to make it up, let’s go back to my room. We shouldn’t be fighting.”
“Is that how you want to deal with your problems?” Caspian asked. “You want to pretend they don’t exist? Brush them aside? That’s not how it’s going to work. It can’t be. If we’re going to be together, I need to know I have someone I can talk to. You can be sweet all you want, but what point is there to being in a relationship if we can’t trust each other?”
More whispers started. Some of the people in the room stood. A couple took a cautious step in Caspian’s direction, and Caspian squared his shoulders and braced himself for the worst. He couldn’t stand up for himself if there were a fight, nor would he be able to fend off a palace full of people. If it came down to it, he was at the mercy of Bran and his people.
He had no one to blame but himself.
Bran looked troubled. He didn’t make a move to stand. “I trust you.”
“You have a really strange way of showing it.” Caspian crossed his arms over his chest. All of the attention was beginning to bother him. Last night, when it had been about fun and pleasure, he’d reveled in it. Now he wished it would go away. “I… I don’t think I want this. Not right now.”
“You don’t want what?” Bran genuinely looked confused.
“This. Isn't it obvious?” Caspian gestured around the room, then locked his arms back over his chest. “I thought we were going to take things a little slower. I didn’t realize you wanted to marry me.”
“What else would I want?” Bran’s brow furrowed. His lips pushed together. “I don’t understand what you thought would happen when I took you home. Of course, I would stake my claim. From the very first night we met, I told you that this would be forever. You consented.”
“I…” Exasperated and defeated, Caspian knew that Bran was right, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. “You seduced me.”
“You always had the chance to say no.”
“I thought I was dreaming!”
“Hatchling,” Bran said stiffly. “Perhaps it is in our best interest if we continue this conversation in my private chambers.”
Caspian looked over his shoulder. Several of the sturdier men had approached, their expressions solemn, their eyes on the prince. At a moment’s notice, Caspian did not doubt that they would descend upon him and remove the threat.
He didn’t want to cause a scene.
“All right.” Caspian looked back at Bran. “Can we go then, please?”
“Yes.” Bran stood. Despite the conversation that had just passed between them, he still held his regal composure, but the light had gone from his eyes. “Let’s.”
They walked to Bran’s room side by side, but Caspian had never felt more alone.
When they entered, Caspian recognized the black silk sheets and the endless candles.
Bran’s room was deep in the cliff, located at the end of a labyrinth of hallways. Caspian helped himself to the bed and curled up beneath the sheets, feeling exposed and bitter. He had no idea where his clothes were.
“You’ve hurt me,” Bran said. His voice controlled, but Caspian still heard the sad disappointment masked in it. “I don’t understand why you’re acting out. Our souls are one, hatchling.”
“That you don’t understand where I’m coming from is part of the problem.” Caspian sat up. He kept the sheets wrapped around him like a cloak. “How is it that you can take such huge steps without consulting me first? We've only just met.”
“Our fates are entwined.” Bran shrugged. He looked as if he was struggling to explain something incredibly simple and self-evident to someone who obstinately refused to understand.
“You know what?” Caspian pinched his shoulders together. “We’re responsible for our own fate, and if you keep acting the way you’re acting, ours are not going to be so entwined.”
Bran's mouth dropped open with visible shock. “Do you even know what you’re saying? I don’t understand. You promised me this was what you wanted. We are to be wed. I am to make you a prince—one day you will serve at my side as I rule over these lands. You did consent. I did ask.”
It was true. Caspian remembered. But he hadn’t understood the enormity of those discussions.
“Do you understand how strong you’re coming on? How much you’re asking of me? I’m fresh out of college. I’m a human. From another world.”
Bran looked away. “It shouldn’t matter. This is what is meant to happen. I don’t know why you’re fighting it.”
“And I don’t know why you’re not fighting for it.” Caspian let his gaze linger on Bran. The man looked sexy and gorgeous. He'd probably never been rejected in his entire life. And he looked sad beyond measure.
“I don't understand you. I would fight to the death for you. I want to marry you and already my soul is eternally bound to yours. What is it you want?”
Caspian sighed. He wanted to lash out and cry all at once. “I wish you would try to understand me. I know that you’re the prince and that you’re bound to this world, but I’m not from here. I don’t understand this place like you do. I don’t get the customs and the culture. I haven’t even been here for twenty-four hours. I need time.”
“How much?” Bran stood as proud and tall as he could, but Caspian heard the panic in his voice. The discussion injured him. The thought made Caspian’s heart ache.
“I can get us breakfast. Or perhaps I can let you rest and catch up on your sleep through the rest of the morning, and we can dine at noon together.”
“No. I mean… I need time.” Caspian fidgeted with the sheets. “Like… days. Weeks.”
As if Caspian's words had landed physical blow after blow, Bran was visibly shaken, and he said nothing.
“I like you, Bran, I really do. I just need to think about what’s happened. Humans don’t just jump into marriage like that. Not most of them. It’s… a big commitment.”
“I don’t understand you.” Bran sat down on the edge of the bed and sank his face into his hands. “I don’t understand why you deny a soul bond like this. Why prolong the inevitable? If you don’t already feel like you’re in love with me, you will in time. The bond we have guarantees it.” His voice shook, and he looked as if he might actually cry.
“People where I’m from wait years before getting married, even if they’re in love,” Caspian said softly. He wanted to comfort Bran, to put his arms around him, but feared that might not help.
“People, where you're from, don’t experience soul bonding,” Bran retorted. “It’s not the same. Please, hatchling, don’t take this the wrong way.”
“I just think that maybe I’m being hasty.” Caspian dropped his gaze. He couldn’t take looking at Brain any longer. It hurt. “If we’re going to be in love forever, what are a few years of waiting it out, right?”
Bran said nothing.
He didn't have to.
Caspian saw the hurt on his face. In his whole body. The way he appeared crumbled and defeated by the further blow. Caspian didn't have to say “years,” but he did.
“Can we have breakfast together?” Bran asked after a long pause. “Perhaps with food you’ll feel better. The ceremony was exhausting. You’ll feel better if you eat.”
“This isn’t a problem that’s going to be fixed with food,” Caspian mumbled. “It’s not going to be fixed with anything but time and communication. I just… I have a lot to think about.”
“Then what do you want to do?” Bran asked. “You’re welcome to stay in my chambers while you think. There are guest chambers you can stay in as well. My home is your home. The palace is yours to live in as you wish.”
Bran didn't get it, and they were going around in circles.
“I need to go home,” Caspian said quietly. He couldn’t abandon his commitment to Dr. Kilpatrick, just because he’d met his soulmate. Life didn’t work like that. “There are things I have to do there. I need to go back to my world and think. Can you take me back through the rift between worlds, Bran? I don’t want to stay here any longer.”
Bran’s mumbled yes was the most regretful word Caspian had ever heard.