Chapter Seven
Sticking to his resolve, Caspian didn’t head out into the woods over the next few days. He couldn’t ignore them entirely as they surrounded the house on three sides, but he did his best.
Housework.
Chores.
Books.
He stayed out of the yard as much as possible. It was too hot out there in the burning sunlight, and the glare dazzled too bright for reading.
He frequently glanced out of the windows, but he didn’t see any sign of any raven.
Maybe he was crazy.
Maybe there was something in the water.
Caspian tried his best to shrug it off.
Days after his encounter at the waterfall, Caspian decided that whether he was crazy or not, he needed more human interaction than he’d gotten the one time he’d made an emergency dash to the grocery store for milk, eggs, and bread.
He got into the car and headed into town. Destination: Beaumont Library.
Parking outside the library turned out to be easy and convenient; it was a broad but quiet street, and there was plenty of space. When he stepped out of the car and drew in a deep breath, he realized it felt good to get out into different surroundings. He hadn’t realized the extent to which he'd started to go a little stir crazy, cooped up inside the house.
That was madness because he had freedom beyond his wildest dreams. A home to live in, a little money, so no urgency to get a job, and all the time to do whatever he wanted for a few months. And the wonderful wild woods to explore… as always, it all came back to the woods.
The library building looked like any other small town library. Or at least what Caspian believed small town libraries should look like. Caspian didn't expect to find much in there that he hadn’t seen before. Looking for a new book wasn't his goal.
Sometimes it was just wonderful to be surrounded by books, to touch them, smell them, and be with other people who also loved them.
This is where Caspian thought he should look for a boyfriend, not a bar or a nightclub or a dating app. In a library or a bookshop, he was most likely to find a guy who shared his passion for stories.
Before stepping toward the library, he looked around.
Beaumont Junior High School was across the street, while next to the library was a bright display of children’s artwork overshadowing the sign that declared “Fledglings Kindergarten.”
On the other side of the library, people sat outside under a huge sunshade sipping drinks and chatting with their friends. Broad glass windows let in light and exposed the cheery interior of a small cafe nestled against the library. The sign above the entrance declared West Point Cafe. It was obviously popular, which was always an indication of good food and excellent service.
When he passed through the door, the bell overhead chimed, drawing the attention of the barista behind the counter.
“Hey there.” The friendly young woman in the brown uniform smiled at him as he made his way over. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“In a second, sure.” Caspian pointed at the menu written on the wall-hung chalkboards behind the counter. “I just need a minute to look.”
“Take your time; I’m here all day,” she replied brightly and returned to doing something behind the counter just out of view while Caspian scanned the menu.
The expansive menu had plenty to tempt him, and a specialty coffee particularly appealed. He could see him returning here often.
From behind a voice said, “You know, the lattes here are top notch.”
Caspian turned his head to see a cute, young, blond come up beside him.
“If you don’t like coffee, or more importantly, if you like Chai, the Chai latte is to die for. I’ve never had a better one.” The grin on his face was as if he’d shared a great joke or pun, but unfortunately, if he had, it went over Caspian’s head.
Unsure of the correct response, Caspian settled on, “Thanks.”
“Happy to share a tip with a stranger.” The young man winked. “You’re new here aren’t you? I don’t recognize you.”
Unable to help himself, Caspian looked the guy up and down. He tried to be subtle about it but probably wasn’t, judging by the way the guy placed a hand on his waist and wiggled his hips at exactly that instant.
He was cute. His skinny black jeans with ripped and fraying ventilation gashes around the knees and the shabby chic Madonna t-shirt suggested he was a student and about a couple of years younger than Caspian. His blond-going-on-white hair going in every direction looked carefully sculpted to create that just-gotten-out-of-bed look.
“You’re right.”
“I tend to be, at least some of the time.” The blond raked his teeth against his bottom lip. To Caspian, it came across as flirtatious. “What’s your name and where do you come from?”
He looked exactly like the type of outgoing gay guy that Caspian would have in his friendship circle if he were an outgoing guy himself. He wasn't. Caspian was a bookworm with a degree in literature. He was happy to befriend social butterfly types, but the beautiful, outgoing boys didn't tend to stick around him.
“Caspian. I’m from Riverside but staying just outside of Beaumont.” And he had no idea why he fed this information so freely to a stranger. But the stranger was obviously a friendly local and seemed harmless.
“I’m Alex. Let me buy you a drink, and we’ll take our conversation to a table.”
Caspian was too stunned to argue, but doubt must’ve shown on his face.
“It’s a welcome-to-Beaumont drink. And there’s no need to look so scared. You’re perfectly safe with me. I’m a local, and I work a part-time summer job at the library next door.”
Cute young blond twinks have never been Caspian’s type. If he had a type at all, they’d be older and be more of a brooding dominant personality. He didn’t like to think they might have raven black hair, but truthfully?
They did.
“Fine. I’ll try whatever you recommend. The Chai latte, was it?”
Alex ordered two Chai lattes, then led Caspian to a small round table by the windows. The barista busied herself behind the counter.
“So,” Alex said, “you’re not just passing through?”
“Not really,” Caspian admitted. “I’m only here temporarily, but I’m not passing through. I’ll be here for the next few months.”
“Oh. Well.” Alex leaned forward on his elbows. “That’s okay. What’s your story?”
Pleased to have someone to talk to, Caspian still couldn’t help but feel a little unsettled. He didn't want to lead Alex on. Although still technically single, Caspian felt a sense of loyalty toward Bran. He couldn’t explain that to Alex without revealing his slide into insanity.
“I’m here to house sit for Dr. Kilpatrick; he has an old house out on the main road. It’s one of the houses set back into the woods. You know the one?”
“Yes.” Alex nodded looking interested.
“He’s a family friend. Since I just graduated, I figured that I had the free time to do it. When he gets back from Europe, I’m heading back to Riverside.”
“Oh, Riverside.” Alex flashed him a cat-like grin. “Fancy. I mean, exciting. Bigger than here, at least.”
“I don’t know. I think here is nice.” The barista brought their drinks over, placing a large cup in front of each of them. Caspian traced his fingers along the cup. “I wanted to reconnect with nature after years of studying. It’s beautiful and quiet here, and that’s what I wanted. I lived in a dorm with some other guys during college, so it was always noisy.”
Alex looked thoughtful. He leaned back in his chair. “I guess. I grew up here, so it’s all familiar to me. There’s only so many times you can see the same trees, you know?”
“I don’t know. Have you gone hiking?” Caspian looked Alex over warily. Did people from Beaumont know about the oddities happening in the forest, or were they unique to him? “I’ve seen a lot of beauty out there on my own.”
“Oh?” Alex sat up straight as though Caspian had shared something incredibly interesting. “You’ve gone hiking in the woods?”
“Yes. It’s what made me most want to stay here.” Caspian picked up his drink and blew on it gently. “Do you not?”
“When I was younger. I suppose. Until recently, the forest hasn’t really interested me.”
“Until recently?” Caspian didn’t push too far. He barely knew Alex. It wasn’t his place to pry for information.
Alex took a sip of his drink. He sighed contently and set the cup down. “I think maybe I should start visiting it again. I hear it’s absolutely magical.”
Magical? He had a feeling that Alex knew more than he was letting on.
“Magical?” Caspian repeated after considering the word for a while.
Sipping his drink, Alex studied Caspian in silence. When he finally put his cup down on the table, he leaned forward and said, “My best friend, Pip, he was drawn to the place. Fell in love, you could say. And couldn’t keep away. He’s taken me to a few magical places in the forest over the past couple of years.”
“There are some beautiful spots.” Nodding his agreement, Caspian adjusted the way he sat and let his fingertips trail over the cup. “I’ve had an interesting time exploring it.”
Alex laughed like as if he understood. He quieted himself enough to sip again, then looked across the table at Caspian. “Do you go often?”
“Almost every day since I arrived. It’s hard to keep away,” Caspian admitted.
“Mm. It must be good.” The double entendre twisted in Caspian’s gut. “Think we can go together sometime?” His eyes sparkled with an impish quirk in the way he smiled.
The red flags went up. The hairs on the back of Caspian’s neck stood on end. He knew that Alex wasn’t a villain, but he couldn’t let Alex think there was an attraction between them that wasn’t there.
“Actually,” Caspian said, “I’m kinda seeing someone. I think. I don’t really want to give you the wrong idea. I’m sorry.”
Alex burst out laughing. He clamped his hands over his mouth and shook his head, then composed himself and sighed. He dropped his hands and folded them on his lap. “Seeing someone?”
“Just recently. It kinda came on suddenly.”
“Mm. I bet.” Alex’s blue eyes bore into him. Caspian felt naked somehow. “So, you’ve met Pip?”
“I’m sorry?” Caspian thought he should feel affronted by the abruptness; he cocked his head in confusion.
“Hmm, okay. Well, if you ever do meet him, in one of those magical woodland places, tell him we’ve met.” Alex waved a hand across the table between them indicating the two of them. “You’ll know it’s Pip because he’d got these strange eyes—one of them is ringed with green.”
No matter where he went, no matter if he was alone or in good company, it was clear that something strange was going on in Beaumont. Caspian looked Alex over, looking for answers, but Alex’s eyes only laughed at him.
Caspian took a sip of his drink as the silence grew. He could see why it came so highly recommended—the Chai tasted sweet and smooth, but still spicy.
“So,” Alex said after a pause. “Are you going to stick around?”
“The cafe?”
“No, Beaumont.” Alex cocked his head. Caspian’s thoughts immediately shifted to the raven. “I know you said that you were going to head back to Riverside once the summer ends, but…”
“I don’t have plans to stay,” Caspian said. “Not right now.” The idea of leaving left him feeling dreary, but what reason did he have to stay? Strange sex dreams and bizarre ravens? Pale, nude individuals in the forest? Caspian was living a fantasy, and there was no indication when that fantasy would crumble away and leave him crushed by reality.
“Mm. We’ll see,” Alex said knowingly.
Caspian wondered what Alex did know.
“You work in the library, you said. Are there books about the local area? Myth, legends, history?”
“It’s just a part-time job during summer vacation; I’m no librarian.” Alex sat back. “There are just about three books on the history of Beaumont in the library, and I’m hardly exaggerating. But they are very gray and dull. There’s nothing about local myths and legends of the forest. Nothing that you’d want to read.”
That was very presumptuous assessment of what kind of book Caspian wanted, and completely accurate.
“It’s really a very small local library. I think you’d have to go to the big main library at Arlington and you might find something.” Alex drained the rest of his cup, then stood up. “I’d love to chat for longer, but I have to go. Let me give you my number. Do you have your phone handy?”
Without a word, Caspian obediently fished it out of his pocket.
“And relax, I’m not coming on to you. You’re seeing someone. It’s cool.”
“Don't I look relaxed?” Caspian unlocked his phone and went into the create new contact window. He then passed it across the table, to his new contact.
Alex took hold of the phone. “Actually, no, you look on edge.” He looked down at the screen and started tapping away, entering his details. “I’m not looking to hook up, and I totally respect whatever relationship you have, but, you know, sometimes it’s good to have a friend,” Alex said as he handed the phone back. “And if you see my friend Pip out in the woods, tell him I say hello. Oh, and you should give me a call.” With a wink, Alex left. Caspian watched as the door closed and Alex passed in front of the cafe window on his way back to the library.
Caspian spent a couple of hours in Beaumont. He went to the library. He wandered around the streets, and he returned to the cafe. He didn't talk to anyone else half as entertaining as Alex.
Caspian ate dinner alone that night in front of his computer. He sat on the couch, now and then glancing toward the glass door in the hopes that he’d see a raven perched there. Nothing greeted him but the night.
With a sigh, Caspian set his plate aside and lay back. No matter how drawn he felt toward the forest, there was nothing he could do about it as night set in. He wasn’t dumb enough to wander out into the woods in the dark.
“After everything you’ve been through out there, you’re dumb to keep going back at all,” Caspian scolded himself. He tugged a blanket off the back of the couch and snuggled beneath it. The air conditioning unit did a fantastic job of cooling the living room down.
“All of this is pretty stupid. I must be insane.”
Still, his eyes were drawn toward the glass. The light bled through the forest, inviting him. Caspian squirmed beneath the blanket, wanting to go, but logically knowing he couldn’t. It was approaching eight at night—total darkness would descend soon. He wasn’t going to spend a night out there.
Besides, he wanted to see the man who only ever visited him in his dreams.
Caspian made a face and shoved his head beneath one of the couch pillows. He was being unreasonable. He was a grown man with a college education. Why was he letting this get the better of him?
He yawned. Whatever the case was, everything going on left him exhausted. He came out from beneath the pillow and tucked himself against the back of the couch. It wasn’t long before his eyelids drooped and sleep claimed him.
And with sleep came the dreams.
The place made no sense. It lacked gravity and light, but it didn’t have darkness either. The void truly contained nothing. For the first time, Caspian thought he understood what it might be like to be blind. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t find a way to focus. The nothingness gripped him tight and held him in place. And yet, no matter how he reached or twisted, he couldn’t find something to anchor himself to.
The place was alien, like no place on earth. The air hung thick and full in a way he wasn’t used to, and when he breathed it in, it almost suffocated him with its intensity.
He missed Bran.
He missed Bran more than he had any right to.
Caspian opened his mouth, but when he cried out, he couldn’t hear his own voice. The syllable of Bran’s name was lost on his tongue. It melded with the nothing and gave it power. Caspian felt helpless against it.
Where was Bran?
Their sleep-time meets were the solace Caspian counted on. He longed for Bran’s touch more than he should have.
Why?
“Bran?” Caspian tried again. This time he heard himself, but his voice was weak and didn’t carry far. “Bran, where are you? Why aren’t you here?”
There came no reply.
Caspian struggled to see something—anything—but it was useless. He might as well have been trying to see out of his elbow. The world, if there was one, didn’t want him here. He didn’t belong.
In an anguished cry, he lashed out, seeking anything that might give him a sense of where he was. He found nothing. Caspian lashed out again and again, clenching his jaw and exhausting himself in his struggle, but he found nothing.
It ached.
He ached.
“Bran!” he called, and one last time he lashed out. He felt like a fish hooked and suspended by its mouth. Was there no escape? “Bran!”
Caspian woke abruptly, drenched in sweat and miserable. He’d fallen off the couch and landed on his ass. His tailbone smarted.
Dazed from his dream, he rose from the floor and wandered upstairs, aiming for a shower before bed.
Night had fallen. The backyard was in darkness.
No eyes watched him from beyond the glass.
Under any other circumstance, Caspian would have been glad. But he wasn’t. The crippling feeling that he missed something vital overwhelmed him, and Caspian wasn’t sure he could ever make it go away.