Gray’s suite was not what I expected, but totally him. This new him I hadn’t known existed. The one who belonged to a club like The Asylum.

I imagined the interior of a sex club would be all dark leather and burnished steel like his loft, but with whips and floggers and various other S&M equipment hanging on the walls. They probably didn’t have the floor to ceiling windows he had, though. What a view. A million-dollar view.

How often did he spend time here? It couldn’t be that much. He was usually with me, and I knew he stayed overnight in the carriage house.

This must be his den of iniquities, where he brought his women.

Now, here I was.

I couldn’t feel any further away from him.

“Help yourself to drinks. There’s bottled water and teas in the kitchen. I’ll be a minute.” Gray left us in his living room and went down a hallway off the kitchen.

He may be distancing himself from me, but I didn’t need him, anyway. I had a ménage to attend to.

“What’s this boyfriend of yours doing now, doll? We’re all raring to go and he’s off hiding somewhere. I’m tired of seeing you wait on his whims.” Hawk walked into the living room and studied the furniture there.

He’d been calling Gray that all night. My boyfriend. Until three minutes ago, I hadn’t minded. But Gray wasn’t my boyfriend. I didn’t know what he was to me, but I knew what he wasn’t.

My rebound.

The words stung in my ears and pierced my psyche like a nine-foot stinger of a killer bee. It would take a lot to soothe that pain. Not sure a ménage with two strangers would do that. It might do something else for my confidence though. To be desired and needed by these hot men – that was new experience for me. I wanted more.

I followed Hawk into the living room and motioned Ian to come with. The sooner we got back into the groove the better. Regardless of where Gray was and what he did or didn’t want. “Who says we have to wait for him?”

“Hell, yeah. Now you’re talking,” Ian said and whipped off his shirt. His pants weren’t far behind.

If a girl didn’t have a six-pack waiting in the wings for her, she might swoon over the lean, well-toned muscles in Ian’s arms and abs. I laughed at how fast he went from nice guy to naked guy.

Hawk came over to me and pushed right into my personal space. He chucked me under the chin, lifting my face so I looked right into his eyes.

“You and I need to get something clear before this night goes any further.” His voice had taken on a tone that brooked no arguments.

I saw only honesty and want of the truth in his gaze. It was incredibly sexy and reminded me so much of Gray that I lost my breath for a moment. I had to focus to find words to answer him with. “Okay.”

Incredibly, he moved even closer to me. Our thighs touched, my breasts pushed against his chest and responded with an ache. I’d been intent on a one-night stand with strangers, but somewhere in the mix of foreplay I found I liked them both. In another life, I could have gone for Hawk.

“Dollface, is this revenge on your boyfriend?” His face was a mix of emotions. I didn’t know him well enough to understand them all, but I was pretty sure I saw hurt. Was he offended that I was using him? I searched that face. No, he had been wounded in the way only one who’d been cheated on could understand.

“No.” I bit my lip and looked away. Hawk would see that same injury in me.

Hawk grabbed me around the waist, pulling our bodies tighter together as if he could will the truth from me with his overpowering touch. He wrapped his hand around my jaw, drawing my gaze back to his. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not. He isn’t even my boyfriend.”

“What is he then?” Hawk’s eyebrows lowered, ready to furrow if he found the wrong answer.

I shook my head. How the fuck should I know? This whole night, Gray had been something more than our regular relationship ever even hinted at. “Believe me when I say, I don’t know right now.”

Hawk relaxed a fraction. “Fine, I can see that, but then who’s the person we’re getting revenge on?”

I’d done my best to deny that’s what this was to them. They were both too damn perceptive.

I waited for the words to get stuck in my throat, but they didn’t. Marc’s betrayal still burned a hole in my gut, but he himself didn’t have that same hold over me anymore. “My ex-fiancé.”

“Why is he your ex?”

“He was a cheating pendejo who would never do anything kinky with me, but was definitely doing dirty things with my ex-best friend.” I spat the words like the garbage they were.

“Ah.” Hawk’s face softened, but his grip did not. “Then he deserves everything we’re going to do... to you.” A glint sparked in his eyes. “And I think your Gray deserves to get a taste of some jealousy to boot.”

“He’s not even here to watch.” He’d done his job, protected me, made sure this encounter was safe. Now all he had to do was wait me out.

Ian finally joined us, pressing his body to my back. His naked body. “He will be. No chance he’ll let us have you all to ourselves.”

Hawk stroked my chin and neck with the back of his knuckles. “Not having total control is killing the dude about as much as watching us play with you.”

“Poor guy is probably jacking off in the bathroom, so he can keep pretending he isn’t dying to get inside of you.” Ian’s words filled my mind with that exact image.

Coño.

“You two are full of it.” Even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t. Gray and I had been in denial all night. Longer than that even. Funny that two strangers understood us better than we did each other...or ourselves.

“You’re the one who is going to be full of it.” Ian joked, letting me off the hook.

“Oh ho. I am, huh?” I wiggled my rear end against him, hoping to hit home. I did, if his moan was any indication.

Hawk pressed a kiss to my lips and nipped at me. “Are you ready for this, doll?”

“Yeah. Let’s get some revenge and see just how jealous we can make anyone who might see.” Like the pictures for Marc or the video...or Gray in real life.

“We’ll make ‘em plenty jealous if I have anything to say about it.” Ian pushed his arms between my body and Hawk’s and lifted my sweater over my head.

Before I was free from my top, Hawk unbuttoned and unzipped my skirt and pulled it down to the floor. I stood before them in my matching bra and panties.

I couldn’t see Ian but felt his eyes on me like a heat lamp. Hawk, on the other hand, looked me over from head to toe. There was so much obvious male appreciation in his eyes that if I ever felt self-conscious about my soft and squidgy places, that all disappeared with the wicked smile growing on his face.

Hawk ran his fingers under the strap of my bra. “I love the lingerie, but it has to go.”

“Be my guest.” I was going to enjoy being undressed by these men.

Hawk nodded at Ian and in an instant my panties were on the floor. Before I could say SuperCallousedFragileMysticHexedByHalitosis, my bra followed it.

It dangled off Hawk’s hand. “How do you feel about being tied up?”

I blinked, twice, and swallowed back the excitement that idea held so he wouldn’t think I was a total noob. “Sounds fun.”

“You are a goddess.” Hawk grabbed the cushions off the couch and threw them to the floor. “Lay down on those, head nearest the couch so I have something to tie you to.”

I laid down and Ian joined me. He stroked my arms and brought them up over my head, holding both wrists in his hands. “Remember, you’re never completely helpless. You’re only giving up the control you want to. If we do anything you don’t want, all you have to do is say stop. Okay?”

I nodded, my brain already fuzzing out with an overload of arousal.

Hawk knelt beside me. “Say it, doll. We can’t do this if you don’t communicate.”

“I understand. I’ll tell you to stop if I need to.”

“That’s good enough for now. But anytime I ask, you remember to verbalize.” Hawk grabbed my bra off the floor, folded the cups together, and unhooked the straps. He knelt behind my head and wrapped them around my wrists, looped around the couch leg and then back, into some sort of slip knot.

I tugged at the straps and they stretched a little, but not enough that I could get away. They weren’t so tight that I would lose circulation.

“Next time I’ll bring my own rope. I’ve been practicing a little Shibari. I’d love to see your flushed brown skin wrapped in pretty red rope.”

An hour ago, I hadn’t even considered a next time. Now, maybe.

I didn’t get any time to think on it more. Ian’s hands began roaming my body. His lips followed. He nibbled at my neck and whispered in my ear, “Your body is so lush. I can’t wait to sink into you.”

I was panting already. Now that I’d finally settled my mind and knew what I was after, my body was ready to go. “Yes.”

“But we can’t forget Hawk.”

I turned my head to find Hawk stripping out of his clothes. He was wider than Ian, muscles on muscles. Light skin to Ian’s dark, broody depth to Ian’s carefree pretense.

I needed both men like the sun and the moon. But I could not live off the rays and glimmer alone. Even as they touched me and worshipped my body, there was heat, but without warmth.

For now, it was enough. Only for now.

Hawk grabbed a strip of condoms from his pants and tossed them onto the floor next to me. He moved some of the cushions aside and slid his body in half underneath me, pressing a leg between my knees. “Open yourself, doll.”

He guided my leg, hooking his elbow under my knee so I was open and bare for Ian’s perusal.

“You’ve got a beautiful pussy. First I’m going to taste it and then I’m going to fuck it.”

The frank words seeped into my mind, igniting fires. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the scene. Two men were pressed against me and I could do nothing short of telling them to stop while they had their way with me.

I was almost everything I’d ever wanted.

“No, don’t close your eyes. Look at me.” Hawk demanded my attention. It wasn’t a request and I was more turned on by that fact. I twisted my head and stared at Hawk. “I want to see those pretty eyes glazed over with lust as Ian makes you come.”

Ian met Hawk’s challenge with a long lick over my clit and then set up a steady pace of licks and sucks, hitting all the right places. I squirmed, and my eyes fluttered, wanting to revel in the pleasure of it.

“No. Look at me or face a punishment,” Hawk rumbled.

I moaned and tugged at my bindings. Ian didn’t let up for a second, driving me higher and already close to coming. “Please.”

“Please what?”

“I don’t know. I need...” I felt bound by more than the ties around my wrists.

Hawk held my gaze while his hands played with my nipple. “You need to let go. You’re not in charge of your pleasure, we are. You don’t have to do anything but let us take you to places you’ve never been before.”

I wanted to let go, loved the idea of not needing to worry about every reaction, every response. I’d never felt good enough in bed and always worried if what I was doing was right. “I don’t know how.”

“Because you’re thinking too much. Just feel. Feel Ian’s tongue sliding over your flesh.” Hawk moved my leg so it rested on his knee, then reached around and caressed the bottom side of my breast. “Feel how my touch pushes you higher.”

He pinched my nipple, shooting ecstasy straight to my clit.

My eyes closed of their own accord. It all felt so good, so freeing.

Except for the slap to my ass that followed.

“What? Ooch.”

“I told you if you didn’t keep your eyes on me you’d get a punishment.” There was entirely too much glee in his eyes.

The smack to my bottom didn’t really hurt. In fact, it added another layer of excitement. The combination of the sting on my backside and the tantalizing tongue in front had me that much closer to coming. I hummed my approval. Would he do it again if I closed my eyes?

Smack.

Yep.

“Don’t make me tell you again or you won’t like the next punishment near as much as you’re enjoying the spanking.”

I doubted that. I shouldn’t have.

I smiled and closed my eyes, squeezing them tight and waited for Hawk’s hand to warm my ass.

It didn’t come. I peeked out one eye. Hawk did not look amused.

“You’ve got a bratty streak.”

Not ever in my life had I been a brat. I did what I was told. Except for tonight. It was damn fun.

“Ian, our girl here doesn’t get to come in your mouth now.”

Ian’s head popped up and I could see my juices glistening on his lips. “Well, fuck. I was just getting started.”

He kissed me, sweeping his tongue into my mouth, letting me experience my own flavor. It was salty and sensual.

“That’s what you get for being a brat.”

“It’s not all bad,” said the brat in me.

“Just you wait,” he said, then glanced over at Hawk. “Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking, you evil bastard?”

“A little orgasm denial would do this brat some good.”

“Orgasm denial?” I squeaked. It had been a turn on when Gray told me I couldn’t come until he said but being denied all together. What was the point?

Ian snagged the strip of condoms from the floor and ripped one open. It took him only a second to put it on. “Yeah, babe. This is going to blow your mind, and you’re going to begging to obey every command before we’re done.”

Hawk untied me from the couch, but kept my wrists bound. He sat me up and leaned his back against the cushion, propping me against his chest and in the vee of his legs like a giant, warm body pillow. He wrapped one arm under me and caged me against him. “Knees, up, spread your legs wide.”

I didn’t dare disobey this command.

Ian knelt in between our legs and pressed his lips to my throat and his cock against my opening, sliding inside, filling me. “Mmm. So tight. I’m going to enjoy every minute of fucking you.”

He pushed in so slowly I was sure he meant to torture and tease me. I tried to thrust forward to take more of him, create some friction. Hawk stilled me.

“Ah, ah, ah, little brat. This is your punishment, remember?”

I’d spent plenty of time not coming in my life. I didn’t like this game. “If you’re planning on denying me an orgasm, wouldn’t it be better if I was working toward one?”

Hawk laughed. “You’re going to regret saying that.”

His arm moved from my hip to between my legs, fingers slipping along my skin until they found my clit. “Let’s go.”

With his words, Ian moved, thrusting in a steady rhythm. With each withdrawal, Hawk’s fingers stroked over me, taking me instantly from brat to a moaning puddle of lust.

“Oh, Coño. Yes.” With Hawk at my back, I didn’t think the eyes-open rule still applied and I closed mine, swimming in the bliss of attention from two men at the same time.

“That’s right, doll. Jesus, you’re a beautiful fuck.”

A deep orgasm was building, building.

“Shit, her pussy is gripping me like a fat fist.” Ian groaned and pulled out of me. Hawk’s fingers pressed tight against my clit but stopped moving.

I thrust my hips forward, searching for more of the pleasure. “No, don’t stop. Please. I need to come.”

“I know,” Ian said.

Hawk flicked my skin in whisper-light strokes that were nowhere near enough to do anything besides drive me crazy. “But you don’t get to come. Remember, naughty girl?”

“Ever?” Not my idea of fun. Yet, my body thought differently. The idea of someone else controlling me sent heat straight between my legs.

“Not until I say.” Gray’s words floated from somewhere far away and exploded inside of my brain. I couldn’t see him, but desire shot through me, spiking my need at his words.

“Please,” I whispered.

Our three bodies stilled. Waiting for Gray’s command. “Not yet. You’re not ready.”

Pollas en vinegre. He was killing me. In all the best ways.

“You’re the one who wanted to try punishment.” Hawk patted my pussy in light little spanks. “If you come without permission, the punishment won’t be as much fun for a second offense.”

He dipped his fingers inside of me, pressing his palm right where I needed it. He pumped in and out, giving me another taste of delicious retribution. “My, you are tight. No wonder Ian can’t wait to get back inside of you. But you’re going to have to beg for it.”

I needed so much more, but I didn’t get it. Hawk pulled out, leaving me empty and feeling so deprived.

I’d never known real hunger in my life, but a huge hole I didn’t even realize had been there all along gaped in my soul. I didn’t just need their touch or an orgasm, I needed someone to fill the void left empty by shame, fear, and lack of real connections in my life.

I pulled against the straps binding me, reaching toward them with my body, moaning my plea.

“Yes, that’s it, doll. Take her, Ian.”

Ian plunged all the way into me, beginning my torture again. This time, he wasn’t slow. He started up a fast pace with hard thrusts that took me right back to the edge of coming.

Hawk kept his light touch on my clit, holding back from the pressure I needed to take me into ecstasy.

“Please, Hawk, please.”

I couldn’t bring myself to ask for Gray’s permission when he wouldn’t deign to take me there himself.

There was no response.

Hawk pulled his hand away from my legs and up to my lips. “Taste yourself again. I’m half in love with your damn mouth.”

I licked and suckled, hoping to please him, remind him of what I could do with my tongue, daring him to let me.

“That’s it. Good girl. Such a hot mouth. You’re getting me all kinds of hard. I can’t wait to fuck you.”

I pulled my mouth away. “Then fuck me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking. My pleasures run darker than Ian’s. I want your ass, doll.” He pressed against me, pushing his hard cock against the back of my thighs.

My mind swirled with the lust of his voice, his words, and the feeling of his body pressing against mine. No one had ever taken me there before. Even when I’d asked.

The forbidden and taboo idea almost pushed me into orgasm. I shuddered and sucked in a shattered breath.

“Ian?” I whispered.

“Yeah, babe?” His voice was shaky and his eyes closed. He was holding back from coming too. I wondered if that was part of their game.

No more games.

“I want Hawk’s dick in me, too. I want both of you. Can we do that?”

He stilled and stared at me, searching my face. “Fuck, yeah, we can. I wasn’t sure we’d get to tonight. Are you sure? You know what you’re asking?”

I was asking for a sexual experience to obliterate every lacking, orgasmless, missionary, vanilla thing I’d ever done in my life. “Yes, I want this, I need it.”

Ian pulled out of me and rolled onto his back. His cock glistened with my juices. “Hawk, untie her.”

I was almost sad to lose the feeling of lack of control the bindings gave me. Hawk unwound the straps and rubbed his hands over the marks they’d made in my wrists.

“You’re sure this is what you want? We don’t have to. I get almost as much out of controlling the scene as I do fucking you.”

That was a fascinating idea that I would have to store away to ask him about later. Gray had ultimate control over us all. We all knew it. Was he getting off on knowing even with the layer of Hawk and Ian between us he was the only one who could take charge of me?

Except, for the first time in my adult life, I did have a say. I was going to get almost everything I’d ever dreamed of, fantasized about. “Yes. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

Hawk nodded and rubbed his thumb over my mouth.

“Good.” He glanced to where Gray must have been and nodded. “Then your punishment is over. I think it’s time we heard you come.”

“Climb on over here, babe. Straddle me and lean forward so those lovely titties are right in my face. Then Hawk can enter you from behind.”

This time I wasn’t afraid to have Ian under me. They obviously knew what they were doing. They hadn’t steered me wrong yet and I trusted them now.

From my new perspective I could see past Ian and into the kitchen. Grayson stood there leaning against the wall. His hair hung in his eyes, mussed, like he’d been running his hands through it. How long had he been there, watching, torturing both of us?

A new bout of lust curled from my throat to my thighs. He’d seen more of me tonight than ever. Not just my body, but my desires, my vulnerability, my pleasure.

I whispered his name. There was no way he could hear it, but the moment the sound left my lips, he pushed against the wall and stood, filling the doorway, the whole room with his presence.

A rush of butterflies whirled in my chest and dropped into my stomach. The arousal I was sure was already on the edge built up a whole other level and I felt the evidence of it between my legs again.

Hawk knelt behind me, caressing my flesh. I heard the sound of another foil package opening and I thought I’d die of anticipation while he rolled on his condom.

Before I could beg for his cock, he reached between my thighs. His fingers ran over my pussy and pulled the moisture back, rubbing it over the pucker of my ass.

“You’re so fucking wet, I’m going to use your own juices to lube your tight little asshole.” He pushed the tip of one wet finger just inside, opening me, preparing me for his forbidden invasion.

One finger, then a second slipped inside of me. I was so focused on what Hawk did to my body, I’d almost forgotten Ian under me.

“I think this kind of kink is definitely your thing, babe. I’m gonna make it even better for you now.” He reached between our bodies, sliding across my clit several times before slipping two fingers inside my pussy.

Hawk pulled back, Ian pushed forward, setting up a rhythm between each other, becoming point and counterpoint. In and out, out and in.

The luscious sting shot ribbons of lust through me. My first real taste of this illicit act only made me want more.

I wanted it from Gray.

Every cell in my body was aware of him, on high alert.

Their touches were his touch, their voices saying his words.

Gray’s muscles were tensed, his breathing rapid, like he was ready for a fight. I’d seen him that way before, always when he thought I needed to be protected. I didn’t want or need his protection now, only his body and mind.

Our eyes locked. I mouthed my need for him. “Fuck me.”

He shook his head.

I wanted to show him I was ready even if the little voice inside my head said I wasn’t. That I needed more time to explore my own sexuality before I gave all my power up to him.

If he wouldn’t fuck me, he’d have to watch while someone else did. While I imagined he was inside of me.

“Are you ready, doll?”

I opened my eyes and stared at Grayson. “I’m more than ready. Take me.”

“Ian, get in her, I’ll follow.”

I heard Ian’s quick intake of breath, and then his cock pushed at my wet flesh. He groaned and shoved in all the way to the hilt.

My hips fell of their own accord to meet his, but he didn’t move, only waited, still. I groaned my pleasure and my want for more.

Hawk’s hands spread the globes of my ass and I felt his cock push against my back entrance. He entered me slowly with small rocking thrusts forward, allowing my body time to adjust to his invasion. He took it very slow, letting the burn build past any pain until he was fully seated in me.

“Are you okay, doll?”

I felt so full, so surrounded. All I could squeak out was an “mmm-hmm.”

I had no control. I wasn’t scared, I was free. For the first time since I’d lost my virginity. I could be nasty and dirty and love a good fuck.

Ian grunted. “Say it. We need to know you can handle this before we’ll move.”

Ack. I couldn’t talk, I could hardly breathe.

He buried his face into my throat and bit down and I cried out. “Yes or no. Say it now or we’re done.”

Gone was the gentleman, the domination in Ian’s voice rang clear. I didn’t realize until then that someone could be both, but something in me responded to that and knew that I could be both too.

“Yes. Yes. Dios mio, yes.” I said it to them, but the words were for Gray.

Hawk’s body tensed and he began with a slow rhythm, being kinder than I expected. It took a minute for Ian to catch up, but soon his cock matched the in and out pace, sliding through my slick folds and back again to fill me up.

The sensation sent me soaring, already close to coming.

Not from the dirty sex, but from knowing Gray was watching.

I never once took my eyes off his face. His smile was as dark as a sinner in hell. From behind his back, he raised the phone, filming everything.

My heart stuttered.

This was the dirtiest, filthiest thing I’d ever done, and I loved every second of it.

I wanted to close my eyes, to see the stars dancing there. But if had, I wouldn’t have seen the way the camera faltered in Grayson’s hands.

He set the camera on the counter, propped against a bottle of water, still aimed at me. His hands now free, he unbuckled his pants and let them hang open. Underneath his proper exterior hid the naughty side of him. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

I’d never be able to look at him the same again. Not knowing there was only one thin layer of material between me and his cock.

His pants didn’t have to drop far before Gray’s penis poked out the top. He gripped it in one hand and stroked down to the base.

I sucked in a hiss of breath. A sparkle of light glimmered in the dark. Four shiny metal balls glinted on the shaft of his cock. He was pierced, twice.

My body tensed and I cried out, my imagination running wild and crazy at the thought of feeling Grayson and his metal inside of me, pumping like Ian and Hawk.

“Fuck, honey, that’s right. Come for me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Hawk chanted and increased his pace. Ian had become completely incoherent, a long-broken moan coming from deep in his chest.

“Come for me. Let me hear you scream. Come on, I’m fucking close. Fuck. I’m going to fill your ass.” Hawk thrust hard, Ian pumped into me and I reached my arm out for Grayson.

Gray’s hand sped over his cock. His mouth moved, forming words I couldn’t hear, but I didn’t need to. I knew exactly what he was saying. “Come for me, Angel. Come now.”

I screamed. His name on my lips, but only an incomprehensible prayer to the goddess of love and sex could be heard. My whole body, my whole world collapsed and the stars I’d been seeing with each of the guys' thrusts exploded into a giant supernova.