CHAPTER TEN
Stars
I really did mean to go to bed. I was still feeling nauseous, and it had been a long couple of days. But when I got closer to my room, I found Asher waiting for me. I smiled.
“You okay?”
Asher was my brother closest in age to me. That still meant there were almost nine years between us. I had saved him by shoving him into a pod and jettisoning him from Artemis before the Sandler Cartel forced me into the black hole.
He nodded and rose from where he squatted near my door. “I was hoping to catch you.”
At almost fifteen, he was tall—actually one inch beyond his father Cooper—and lanky-looking. His voice had lowered, and his cheekbones seemed to have risen. Suddenly, he looked much more like the son of a former prince and less my little brother who got lost in his own head trying to write music.
“You did.”
He’d been traumatized by what had happened when I went missing. Ari had helped him see it had been my choice to save him and blaming himself for circumstances beyond his control was foolish. Ari had helped all of us—and now he suffered, unconscious, with a lifetime of more suffering ahead of him. It seemed everyone who spent too much time around our family ended up, at some point, in a med machine.
Asher looked past my shoulder. “Where are your husbands? Shouldn’t one of them be with you? They’re pretty intense and around you all the time.”
“You’re not wrong. I think the rest of them believe Damian is with me right now. But he actually went to talk with your father.” As least I hoped it was only talk. I took a deep breath. They wouldn’t kill each other, I didn’t think.
Asher ran a hand through his dark hair. He looked much more a Jackson than an Alexander, and since I was basically a clone of my father’s mother when it came to my appearance, our dark hair color was the only trait Asher and I had in common.
“He’s my cousin.”
I squeezed my brother’s arm. He wasn’t a baby I could wrap in a hug anymore. Right beneath him in age, our blond brother Colin was on the edge of not wanting to be squeezed, too.
“He is. Weird right? The black hole did such strange things to time. Your uncle, Cooper’s brother, is long dead, and Damian is older than me, even though I was born decades before him.”
“Can I steal you for a bit? I mean, can I have a little time to show you something? Will they get upset if you’re not with them?”
I knew who “they” and “them” were. He wanted to know if my guys were going to freak out if I went somewhere with Asher.
“They worry. I think we’re pretty safe here. Honestly, I think Sterling could find me anywhere in this place. So, let’s go. What do you want to show me?”
Asher’s face lighted up. “Awesome.”
We took a long walk through silent halls. It seemed that my comparisons to Mars Station only held as far as what the compound looked like. There was no nightlife to speak of, as far as I could tell. People went to bed early. Everything was quiet.
Asher led me to a small room with a bunch of piping. It looked like it was one of the environmental rooms. Everything was neat and tidy, with a tablet hanging on the wall where people signed in and out from inspecting the place. The whole area screamed, “Cooper”—all of it. He was always in charge of environmental concerns, and he was fastidious as all hell. If this had been Uncle Wes’ area, everything would be everywhere.
My brother pointed to a pipe. “It’s not what it looks like. Take a gander.”
Take a gander. I grinned. There were some things I only heard from my brothers and sisters. Little phrases we all shared, indicating the same people had raised us. I didn’t say “take a gander” to others, but I would probably use the phraseology with Asher as he had with me. Our mother said it all the time.
Why hadn’t I appreciated the small things that came with having these people around all the time? Why hadn’t I known how lucky I was to have them? Well, because I was too busy missing my loves and blaming the universe.
I walked to the pipe he pointed to. “If this thing suddenly shoots dust in my eye, I’m going to get you back.”
Asher grinned, some of the little boy he had been presenting himself in his amusement. “I swear. No dust. No soot. I wouldn’t take you on. I still remember drinking the sour milk as one of your retaliations.”
When I couldn’t talk to others, I’d always had him. He’d been too young and too loving to care what an oddball I was. I placed my head beneath the opening to the pipe, and I gasped. It wasn’t an environmental room at all. It was a spy place. I could see above ground, even as far as the sky above. I rotated around until the stars illuminated above me.
“Uncle CJ do this?” He didn’t always trust the computers. Sometimes he wanted to see things with his own eyes. This was a way for him to do it.
Asher stood to my left. “I assume so. All of this was done before any of us got here. My father dumped me in here last week and told me to get over myself.”
“That doesn’t sound like Uncle Cooper.” I pulled back to look at Asher. “Those were his exact words?”
Asher sighed, his shoulders deflating. “That was the implication.”
“And what is it you were supposed to get over?” They’d always been close, as far as fathers and sons went, although Cooper didn’t always get Asher and the feeling went the same way from Asher to Cooper.
He shook his head. “I hate it here. I want to be doing things. There are people on ships fighting. The Sandlers are fighting their own father. You took out a whole ship of the Sandler Cartel and rescued Ari.”
“I wasn’t exactly the one doing those things. I came along.” Killed someone. “But it was Sterling and Damian more so than yours truly.”
He wasn’t listening. I could see it in his eyes. “I’m not a child, and I’m sick to death of being treated like one. I could be helping. I could be fighting. I could be … doing something other than hiding down here with the children.”
“You’re finishing school, right?”
He threw his hands in the air. “You sound like them.”
“I haven’t said anything yet of any worth, so I’m not sure why you’re getting upset. You want to fight? You can in three years. They can’t make you do anything after you’re eighteen. I hope you’ll reconsider it. There are lots of ways to fight.”
He sucked in a breath before hollering his response. “Just because my father couldn’t kill his sister and C.J. had to do it, doesn’t mean I’m also not going to be able to get the job done.”
“Wow.” I decided I didn’t care if he didn’t take hugs easily anymore. I pulled my little brother into my embrace. “None of us were there. I was on a shuttle with Uncle Nolan, hiding from the fight. We didn’t see what happened. We barely know anything about it. The only people who know what occurred were the people there. Your father is one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.”
He actually shuddered as I held him. “I nearly got you killed. I know that’s not my fault. But I’m so sick of waiting around to grow up, to prove to everyone I am my own man, that I can be counted on and trusted.”
Asher tugged to be released, and I let him. I needed to find exactly the right words. “As for me, I’d hope you wouldn’t be able to kill your sister any more easily than he did.”
My brother snorted and then broke out in a grin, nearly bending over with laughter. That was exactly the response I’d wanted. I remembered being fifteen. It had really, really sucked and would have been so much worse if I hadn’t had Paloma to get me to smile when I wanted to sulk.
“All right, fair enough.” His face got serious. “Can I come with you when you leave?”
“When am I leaving?” Damian had taught me to deflect with the best of them. I couldn’t take my brother anywhere without our mom’s and his father’s permission. “I just got here.”
“We both know you won’t be here long. You’ll be back in the fight, helping in the effort, and I’ll be here studying quantum physics. When am I ever going to use quantum physics?”
I put my arm around him and led him from the room back into the hallway. “We never do know when the things we learn in school will suddenly be useful. Are you working on your music?”
“I can’t hear it right now. Like the notes have stopped speaking to me.”
Poor Asher. I kissed his cheek. “Being fifteen is tough.”
I meant to go back to my room, but when I brought Asher back to his, I ended up staying to watch movies Colin had been making on his tablet. At some point, I conked out right there on the couch with my brothers and sisters lying around me. If anyone had moved at all to the left or right, we would have all toppled to the ground.
A hand on my shoulder roused me some time later. Damian stood over us, an amused look on his face. I rubbed my eyes. I’d promised to be in the room waiting for him, and I’d completely screwed up.
Somehow, without disturbing the others, I managed to get off the couch and over to Damian. The nursery shared a separate hallway with my mother’s room. The kids could get to her or she to them if need be. Everything was quiet.
I took Damian’s hand and let him lead me back into the main housing hallway outside the rooms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Sorry.”
“Had a little panic when you weren’t where I thought you’d be. It’s three in the morning. I quietly searched the other guys’ rooms. Woke Sterling, not on purpose but because there is no coming into his sleeping quarters without rousing him. He found you. Then he shooed me out and rolled over like the whole thing didn’t happen.”
I breathed in Damian. “I didn’t mean to not be in my bed. I got distracted.”
“It’s a good thing.” He scooped me into his arms. “You need your family around, and I need you. So we’re all good.”
“You are my family.” I kissed his chin, and he sighed.
We made it back to our housing section and my room in good time. Everything was quiet; only the buzzing of the air filtration systems reached my ears.
Damian laid me on the bed, coming over me gently. I loved the feel of his weight on top of me. His mouth met my own. I needed to ask him how things had gone with Cooper, but it would wait. My body buzzed, ready for him.
He wasn’t in a hurry, but I was. His lips were firm against mine. I stopped chasing him and tried to make him follow my lead. I wanted faster, harder. I wanted him.
Damian smoothed my bangs off my face. “Are you tired, Diana?”
“No, feeling kind of energized right now. Why?” I kissed his chin. He was so lovely. Damian would hate the description, so I’d never tell him, but he really was a beautiful, beautiful man.
“You seem like you’re in a hurry. I thought maybe you were tired.”
“Maybe I waited for you all night and now I don’t want to anymore.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, hooking my feet together to squeeze him tight. He sighed against my mouth.
“I love you. Love you. Love you. Please.” That please …
I didn’t try to set Damian’s pace but let him make love to me as he wanted. He asked for so little, but that didn’t mean he didn’t need tremendously. His hands shook when he undressed me. Somehow with Damian, it was always like the first time. He never seemed like he’d seen me naked before or as though I was something he was used to.
Damian loved me with his eyes before he ever did it in any other way.
I soaked in his adoration and let it warm me from all the years I’d been alone and confused.
When we were finally both naked, I wrapped my arms around his neck to kiss him thoroughly. His body twitched above mine, and I felt his length grow against my stomach. He moaned, and I bathed in the sound. He wanted me, and there was something so intense in the way he longed for me that every breath he took during lovemaking felt like a promise of eternity.
Damian pushed inside of me. My muscles stretched to accommodate him, and I closed my eyes. Some moments could only be felt, not seen. Damian ran a soft finger down the side of my face. “Give me those eyes, Diana.”
I opened my lids. “I was reveling for a second.”
“I need your gaze; I can see your soul in your dark depths. Please.”
He pressed his forehead down on mine. This was Damian. It was all or nothing. I’d always give him all. He was my Damian.
His movements started out slowly, his body pressing and pulling from mine until he shuddered. I knew that meant he was close. He’d held back as long as he could. I loved watching him. Nothing gave me more pleasure than seeing Damian lose control. He shattered me with his heat.
“You need to come, Diana.” He squeezed my breast tightly. “I need to see you come.”
I wasn’t close yet, and I didn’t really care. This was pleasure for me, simply being this close to him. If I told him that, he’d feel like he’d failed me.
“Damian, I—”
“Sshh,” he interrupted me. “Just feel. Get out of your head. Let me love you.”
He pressed between us. I did usually need some clitoris play to come, and he knew that about me. We were always learning each other, but there were things Damian did masterfully when he played with my body.
He swirled his finger over my clit while his cock drove pleasure home. I cried out. I hadn’t been close, but boy, could he get me there fast.
“That’s my girl.” I loved the warmth in his voice. “You’re so beautiful when you come.”
That was all I needed. I shattered around him, and he cried out, his neck straining while my own orgasm called his. Damian cried out my name, over and over. There had never been a more precious moment.
Sometime later, while he stroked his finger over my stomach, he spoke. “We talked about plants. He brought me to see my horses. Showed me around. We actually have a tremendous amount in common.”
I didn’t have to ask of whom he spoke. Cooper. I could have told him they’d have a lot to talk about. I wasn’t going to do I told you so with Damian. “That’s incredible.”
“Then eventually we brought up my father.”
He’d been leaning on his hand looking down at me but altered his position to lie fully on his side spooning me. I kissed his forehead. “Did it all go to hell then?”
“No, it was nice, actually. He seemed impressed with the way my father had kept us all alive. Hadn’t known his brother could have been such a good dad. He loved some stupid stories I told and then told me things about their childhood I hadn’t known. Some story about getting locked out in a storm. I loved it. I think he did, too.”
I was sure Cooper did. “I’m so happy you had that kind of night.”
“Ended kind of great, too.” He tugged me closer. “I made love to my wife.”
I petted the back of his neck as I stared at the ceiling. This place was new, and I still wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. Yet anywhere with my guys would always feel like home.
Damian sighed, and I glanced over at him. He was asleep. I wasn’t tired, but I loved the warmth of his body. If I could be this comfortable forever, I’d take it.
I woke slowly, aware of two things right away. The sunlight machine made it feel like mid-morning, and Damian was erect against me. He snored lightly, which told me he was still out cold. But his body had certainly started to wake. His hand messaged my breast, and heat pooled between my legs. I could think of worse ways to be awoken in the morning.
“Damian …”
His eyes fluttered open, and realization dawned on his face, followed by a fast smile. “Looks like I was having really good dreams about you.”
“I—”
The door flung open, and Sterling leaned against the doorframe. “Up you two. There are actually things to do today.”
Damian pointed at the hallway. “Out.”
“No. You woke me up last night. I let you sleep in. I’m the nice guy here. Diana’s father wants to see her. Who would you rather see right now? Me or Geoff?”
Damian groaned and sat. “You could have led with the father.”
“Yeah, but this was more fun.” He winked at me. I was glad to see more happiness in Sterling’s eyes than had been there lately. “See you soon, Sweet Baby.”
I grinned at Damian while Sterling left. “We did have some luck never being bothered on Orion. We could have all been naked if we wanted to be.”
“I don’t want to see them naked outside of an occasional threesome or foursome or whatever.” Damian laughed. “I’d rather be naked with only you.”
I leaned on my elbow. “Damian, you didn’t participate on the day we all had our first groupings. Granted, someone had to fly Artemis. Was that the only reason you didn’t come into the multi-person sex fests?”
“Great description.” He kissed me lightly on the lips, biting down slightly. “I like you alone in bed. I don’t mind sharing your heart, but when I’m with you, I don’t want to share your body. Unless I have to. Never say never and all that. Not yet.”
I kissed his cheek. “Whatever you want.”
“Love you.”
* * *
My father walked me around the outer wall of the compound. “There are thousands of systems and redundancies to keep them working. We have people checking them all the time, but I don’t trust any of them like I do you. I don’t want to find myself in a situation where the trash disposals all shut down on me.”
I touched his arm. “Was making bombs easier than this?”
“Hugely.” He rubbed his chin. “I have to tell you, darling, I’m making bombs again. The new ships going out have my bombs in them.”
He’d quit years ago. Mars Station had enough of his explosives to last years and years. He told me it drained him, made him feel like life was always about to explode. He worked security, and my mother said he was as good at determining threats as he’d ever been at making things go boom.
“Dad…”
He rubbed his forehead. “We left the other side of the galaxy so we could give you a better life. I’m not sure we did. This is as bad as I ever remember it being.”
“It’s a bad time. It’s not all horrible. I’m actually…happy.” I took his hand in mine. I had never seen him this level of stressed out before.
“Then it’s all been worth it.”
I hoped he really meant that.
* * *
Judge and I wandered through the compound, looking at the systems together. Like on the ship, he’d be great for big picture design while I worked on the small details. Wes and my father were busy monitoring the outside world for threats, and Nolan spent his days with CJ and Sterling making a new plan to fight the Sandler Cartel.
Damian and Cooper were taking a look at the agricultural situation together, and the doctors had gone into Dane’s lab that morning and had yet to emerge.
I pointed at one of the air filtration units. “It’s blowing the wrong way?”
“Huh?” Judge had been scrolling through his tablet, becoming an expert on all things underground compound. He thought he could get the radon level down to even better than where it was. I’d been having a tough time keeping his attention on anything else.
There were sometimes difficulties in dealing with a genius.
“Never mind.” I didn’t need his help to deal with the air filtration. It was more my line of work anyway.
Wes had thought to equip each room with a ladder attached to the wall, should we need to get up toward the ceiling to check on the machines. Judge leaned back against the wall, reading his tablet, and if he noticed me taking out the ladder, he didn’t comment.
Maybe what I needed were flying shoes. The next time I could get his attention, I’d suggest it. Seemed like something he might actually be able to invent.
I grabbed the wrench out of my back pocket and climbed the ladder. A few turns of my wrench and I had the top of the device off so I could look at the insides. It took me a few moments to find the problem, and only because it seemed so ridiculous I almost couldn’t consider it real.
There was a spider living inside the air filtration device, and it had made a huge nest around the wires.
“What the hell?”
I’d seen insects and lots of them on Mars Station. Oh hell, I knew better. Spiders weren’t insects. They were arachnids. But dealing with them was about the same as other bugs when I had to be the one to manage them. They came off ships from various planets. Usually, the filtration systems killed them with no problem. But sometimes they lived for a while. One time, we’d had to kill hundreds of Venusian ants. That had sucked. But I had never seen a spider like this one. It was purple.
And then it made a hissing noise akin to a cat before it launched itself at my head. I tried to stop it, failed, and fell backwards off the ladder.
My head spun. With my luck, I’d be concussed again, only that wasn’t my biggest concern. The damned thing had bitten my cheek. I cried out as Judge screamed my name. I swear the spider grew to half my size, or maybe I was delirious because the walls were suddenly bleeding and Judge became something with eight legs and arms himself.
Nothing made sense.
And then I couldn’t breathe.
* * *
I woke in the med machine, my least favorite place in the universe. I heard voices outside. Closing my eyes, I tried to breathe. The machine would have told them I was awake, so either I wasn’t really healed yet or they hadn’t noticed.
Lewis spoke in a low voice. “I swear there’s nothing in that closet. It’s a side effect.”
“She’s awake,” Ari answered him, even though I was sure they hadn’t been speaking of me.
The machine opened, and Cash stared down at me. “Trying to die again, Boo?”
I let him lift me. “Always.” My whole body shuddered, and revolt moved through me. “The spider bit me. And it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Above even that zombie. I hate those things.”
He kissed my forehead. “This is the last time you’re almost dying. Got me? I’m not kidding. You try and die again, and I’m going to spank your ass.”
I closed my eyes and pressed my spinning head against his chest. He felt safe, and I thought he’d probably forgive me if I threw up on him. “Promises. Promises.”