Chapter 14
Answers
Soft lips are on mine, greedy hands are scouring my body, and my eyes dart open to see no one is there. My heart beats heavily in my chest, trying to assess what just happened. It feels like tiny spiders are crawling over me, while the sudden abandonment of the phantom touch leaves me bereft.
Freaky.
I head out of the room at Gage's house to join the three men who are planning a rescue without me.
"Too dangerous," Gage says, dismissing whatever plan lies on the table.
"That's what you've said about everything I've thrown out there," Chaz mumbles, crunching up a paper and tossing it to an overflowing pile of other failed plans.
"If we do anything that risky, we'll all end up behind bars. Then who will save us?" Gage says, sounding haughty and not at all urgent like he needs to.
"Drackus," I say, adding to the conversation and drawing their attention. "And Mom."
Gage rolls his eyes. "Drackus can't save us from the council's prison, Alyssa. It's not like Castine's dungeon. We have to be smart about this."
"I'm sure you're real concerned," I hiss, sarcasm oozing out of me.
He turns his back on me, and sips his coffee as though it's just another morning.
"You're leaking again," Dice says, frowning while pointing his finger at me.
"What?"
"Succubus. You're leaking it again. It's making me all… annoyed. I really need to work with you on capping it off when it's not in use."
"Bigger problems than dripping sex right now, Dice," I chastise, trying not to throttle him.
"It's distracting," Chaz says, his eyes moving from me to Gage and then to me again. "Succubus. That's odd. You don't leak anything else. Why leak succubus?"
"Maybe it's because she's close to changing," Gage says idly, moving away from the bar as though he's bored, and then he comes to stand dangerously close to me. My heartbeat quickens as an old ache tries to return.
Hell no. Not happening. Never again. Never.
He smirks as he sees my inner battle that makes not one damn bit of sense. I love Kane. Why am I feeling tempted? Kane's life is in danger, and I'm struggling to take a step back from Gage.
"Something wrong, Alyssa?" he asks with a knowing grin I want to slap off his face.
Something has been wrong for a while. I thought it was better. Why is it back?
He leans down, letting his breath trail across my face, and then he smiles wickedly before walking around me, leaving me breathless.
"Alyssa?" Chaz says, breaking into my thoughts.
"Yeah," I say, clearing my throat. "We need a plan."
His eyebrows cock up, as if he's amused or confused. I'm not sure which.
"I realize that. That's sort of what we've been doing all morning. You okay? You don't look so good."
"I'm fine," I lie, hating myself for the feelings I shouldn't have. Kane. I have to find Kane.
Nothing. Every plan we have falls apart because of some miniscule detail Gage points out. I've done well to keep my distance from the dark user since this morning.
Chaz has been reading numerous books he swiped from the council's library. Aunt Hilly has been of no use. She has nothing helpful to offer despite her knowledge of the inner workings of the council's prison.
Chaz has been digging deep to come up with a plan, but he's remained silent for a while now, engrossed in whatever book he has on his lap. Dice is pointless—as usual. All he keeps doing is griping about my leaking succubus issue.
"You just focus on your aura, treat the leak like a leak in your aura," he says, for the millionth time.
"Dice," I groan, exhausted. "I can't even cap off my aura. I'm sorry. Deal with it already."
He curses me under his breath, and Gage's smooth chuckle comes out in small spurts. I look away when I feel my heat rising. I almost feel like I'm involuntarily betraying Kane just by having these unbidden feelings.
"I found something you dropped," Gage says while getting too close. Then he holds up Thad's necklace that had fallen off. I almost smile, but it's weighted by the guilt I feel for all these hormonal urges. I feel like a fucking animal in heat right now. Not cool.
"Here," he says, putting it on me and fixing the broken chain by using his magic.
His breath brushes my neck as he presses into my back, and I move away quickly, needing distance. He smiles as he moves back to lean against the wall, keeping his eyes concentrated on me.
I excuse myself when I keep looking at Gage, feeling my unwanted desire trying to bubble free. It's really starting to piss me off.
I shut and lock the door to my room, but I realize immediately I should have cast a spell if I wanted to keep the dark user out, considering he's already materializing in front of me.
"Running from me?" he asks, taking a step toward me and making me take a step back, a pattern that repeats itself as he continues. "You feel it like I do. We're meant for each other, Alyssa. You've been denying it, but you feel it."
When I run out of room to back up, his lips come down on mine. Tears slip out when I can't control myself, feeling my body react without my permission. The cool steel of his lip ring brings back so many memories just like this. The heat of the bar in his tongue forces out an involuntary moan as everything on my body heats up.
I try to fight him, try to fight myself, but I have no control. More tears slip out as his kiss grows hungrier, and he pulls me closer, letting me feel his desire in firm form.
"I've missed you," he whispers into my mouth as my fingers tangle in his hair to tug him closer.
I want to scream, yell, hit him with a burst of power, but all I do is return the carnal kiss that almost becomes bruising. His hands ride over my body, feeling the forgotten places through the fabric, and sending shots of heat to my core.
Seconds before I'm about to make a mistake I'll never forgive myself for, the door pops open, and Gage pulls back.
"What?" he growls, not bothering to turn around to see who it is.
"Somage just called your cell. They need you to meet them in Edgebrook. Now," Chaz says angrily.
Gage turns around, and I almost taste his irritation. "Who told you to answer my phone?"
"I got sick of hearing it ring. Sue me. The point is, they need you. It's probably about all this shit we're already dealing with. I handled my end. You handle yours."
Gage lets a string of curses fly freely from his mouth, and then he turns back to me and jerks me to him to deliver a crushing kiss that fills me with even more shameful desire.
"I'll be back. We'll continue this," he murmurs against my lips, seeming reluctant to let me go. "If it wasn't for the fear of this having something to do with you, I'd stay. I just want you to know that. I'm done with the Somage. From now on, you're my one and only focus. I love you."
I don't respond. I can't. Right now, in this moment, I hate him almost as much as I hate myself. Chaz seems bored more than shocked. That's insulting. Then again, I'm in love with Kane but kissing someone I just want to forget.
"If anything happens to her while I'm gone, I'll make sure it's painful for you," Gage warns.
"Just deal with this shit," Chaz says dismissively, waving Gage off.
Gage vanishes from the room, and I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Chaz vaporizes from the room, leaving specks of his glistening trail behind. I slump to the ground, wishing I could claw out my heart right now.
How could I do that? Again?
Chaz materializes in the room, and he grabs my bag from the floor before tossing it to me, seeming rushed.
"Use your magic. You have ten seconds to pack."
I start to open my mouth, but he interrupts me before I can speak. "Eight seconds."
Instead of trying to figure out what the hell is going on, I use my magic to seal up everything I can, and then I pull the bag over my shoulder. Chaz pushes me out the door, baffling me all the more.
"What's going—"
"I'll explain on the way."
Dice is messing with the coffee maker, slapping the side of it, as we walk by. He never even looks up.
"We'll be back. Alyssa needs some air."
"Whatever," the incubus grumbles, cursing the inanimate object in front of him.
As soon as we reach the outside, Chaz steers me toward Kane's old home, which is right next door. With a flick of his wrist, the garage door opens, and a car starts.
"Get in and buckle up."
I do as he says, though I'm actually starting to freak out a little.
"Chaz, what the hell is going on?"
He doesn't speak as he throws the car in reverse, and then makes a hard turn to barrel straight ahead. We bypass the lake homes at warp speed on our way to town.
"You curious as to why you're completely in love with Kane, yet when you're alone with Gage, you want him too much to deny it?"
My tears teeter but don't fall. There's an explanation?
"What's happening to me? Is this because of what I am?"
He takes another hard turn that jars my body, but he gets us back on the road, heading out of town.
"Ever heard of the Aphrodite spell?"
"Yeah. It's a love spell. A complicated love spell most can't successfully cast."
He nods slowly. "Do you know what happens when you use that spell on someone who is in love with someone else?"
I think hard about it. Love spells always seemed juvenile to me, so I never really studied up on them.
"No."
He takes another sharp turn, and then we level out on the interstate, heading far away from Pine Shore.
"If you cast the Aphrodite spell on someone who's already in love, the spell can't work properly. Instead, it heightens the feeling of lust, which is an emotion that can easily be confused for love when thrown out in strong doses. Not to mention, you almost lose control over your body and desires. You wouldn't notice it at all unless you had a reason to need to deny that person but couldn't. Have you by chance ever been with Gage even though you really didn't want to?"
My mind flashes back to the night I caught Gage cheating on me. I couldn't refuse him. I wanted him even though I didn't want him, almost as if I had no control over my actions. I wipe my tears away. I knew something was wrong then, but I never sought the answers because of the far worse chain of events that were in play at the time.
"Yes," I almost whisper. "Are you sure it's a spell?"
His jaw tenses as he stares straight ahead. "I'm positive it's a spell. Your succubus is giving it away. It makes so much sense now. What does a succubus feed off of?"
"Lust," I murmur in a nearly muted tone, getting sicker.
"Exactly. So when you feel the extreme feelings of lust, your succubus rises to the surface. The closer you get to your change, the more it leaks. You don't feel any differently, but you secrete the scent, making everyone around you feel the heat, so to speak."
"But who—"
"Gage. Your lust is targeted toward him. The spell probably started while the two of you were dating, from what I've gathered from the books I've been reading today. It died down when you and Kane got back together—well, it died down for you. For him—it's starting to drive him crazy. The spell can't work at all if one of the two people isn't already in love. The problem is—if the other person finds love in another, then the caster is the only one to suffer. He's been suffering alone. With Kane out of the picture, he's not suffering by himself anymore because the spell is dragging you back down. It's probably why your creature goddess freaked out when you were alone with him that day at the widows."
I swallow hard, trying to digest everything. Gage wouldn't do this. He couldn't.
"If I'm meant to be with Gage, and he did cast this spell, why would my creature goddess half of me freak out then but not this time?"
He purses his lips for a second. "Freya wasn't like you," he says randomly, or at least I think it's random. "She held back. She buried her powers, but no one knows how. She never accepted who or what she was. Maybe you're starting to do that. Your creature goddess doesn't like being controlled, though. Hers never did, and in the end, she wasn't stronger because she held back; she was weaker."
How am I holding back? I basically begged the devil inside me to come out last night when Kane needed me. I was pointless without it. My darkness didn't stir, but—
"How did I do that? Last night. The scream. How did I know to do that? That was the only bit of stir my dark side would offer. I'm usually fighting to restrain it, not to release it."
He shakes his head. "I don't know. But—you don't have your phone, do you?"
My eyes widen and I start rifling through my bag, desperate to find it before Gage finds me. As soon as I do, I toss it out the window. I'm not scared of Gage, but until I know what's really going on, I can't be around him.
Chaz breathes out in relief, and he kicks the car into a higher speed to propel us far away from the dark user. I hope he's wrong. I hope Gage didn't do this.
"Where are we?" I ask as I climb out of the car in front of an old home.
"Mom's safe house," Chaz says as he joins me, grabbing our bags from the car. "We'll strategize about how to get Kane out of prison while we're here. I'll call Mom and see if she can meet us and help out. Then I'll call Drackus and Calypso."
I nod while letting out a ragged breath of exhaustion and disbelief. There's always chaos. Always. If anything happens to Kane, I don't know if I'll care what my crazy half does to the ones who hurt him.