TWENTY-EIGHT
Zeus
When the silence of your home drives you crazy, a ride seems the only logical thing to do. My cheeks sting from the bite of the cool air, my lips dry as I lean the bike into my driveway.
I rode to the outskirts, took a loop down a couple of roads I’ve never ridden before, and ended up passing by the property where Belle went to the party, of all places. Seemed fitting considering she was the only thing on my mind.
My headlight catches the tail end of John’s work truck as I curl around the large trees at the front of my property. I park the bike, smacking the garage door remote on my way past as I tear into the house. “How did you go?”
John flattens his lips in a kind of smile as Belle crosses the room to greet me. “Found out why she’s doing it, Z.”
“Yeah?” I wrap my arms around Belle, concerned at how tight she holds me. “What did I do?”
“More like, what didn’t you do?”
“Eh?”
He leans forward in his seat, hands clasped. “Turns out marrying me meant settling for second best.”
I cock my head, unsure what he means.
“She wanted you, mate. Never wanted to be with me. I think I was a means to getting your attention, but it all backfired on her when she fell pregnant with the twins.”
“Fucking hell,” I whisper, looking to Belle. “Legit?”
She nods.
I look to John, conflicted at the news. “I’m sorry, man. I never realised.”
“What would you have done?” he says, resigned. “Knowing wouldn’t have changed anything. Except”—he shrugs—“I might not have proposed.”
We both chuckle, trying in vain to draw some humour in this fucked up situation. Belle pulls out of my arms as John stands, walking him to the door.
“What now then?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “We wait and hope she takes the hint, I guess. I’m serious; if she starts this again you tell me and I’ll help pay for a goddamn lawyer. I’ve had enough of her.”
Belle pushes up on her toes to place a kiss to her old man’s cheek. “Thank you for letting me come with you to talk to her. For finding out the truth for us.”
“Yeah, well, I still don’t agree with this.” He gestures to us both. “But I also know a good thing when I see it.”
I could hug the guy if I wasn’t currently opening my arms for his daughter. “Thanks, J.”
“You look after my baby girl,” he calls on his way out the door. “I’ll look after her bitch of a mother.”
Belle waves him off, shutting the door behind John before turning with a small smile on her lips.
“Hey, dove.”
She nestles into my hold, arms banded tight around my middle. “Hey, babe.”
“She upset you?”
She smiles softly. “Of course she bloody upset me.” Her brow twitches into a frown. “Dad said some things about you I didn’t know.”
“Yeah?” I turn her toward the hallway.
She stays nestled at my side as we walk. “He told Cerise why you started working out.”
“Oh.” Outside of John and Jodie, there aren’t many people who know that.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I let her go to turn the living room lights out. “When would I have brought it up? I guess we would have talked about it eventually, dove, but I wasn’t in a hurry.”
I follow her into the bedroom, stopping behind her to run my palms over her shoulders. She sighs at my touch, leaning back against my front. “There’s so much about you I still don’t know.”
I choose not say anything, turning Belle to kiss her instead. I’ve got all the time in the world to talk about shit that doesn’t really matter.
“Where did you go?” she whispers.
“On the bike?”
Belle nods, hands clasped either side of my neck.
“Nowhere, really. Just put tyre to tarmac and cleared my head.” I slide my hands around her waist, hoisting her against me. “I felt hopeless, dove. I felt like I’d failed you.”
“Zeus….” She rests her forehead against mine, nose to nose. “You’ve never done a single thing to let me down.”
“I let you go,” I remind her. “I pushed you away and fucking sent you overseas, so how can I have never let you down?”
“And what did I achieve overseas, huh?” She pulls back, legs wrapped around my hips as she stares into my eyes.
She’s right, but she’s also wrong. If anything, I’ve learnt that there never is a “right way” when it comes to us. I’ve thought about the past three years plenty, about the months after she finished school. What if I’d never kissed her in that kitchen? What would she have done then? If she’d gone overseas without ever building that connection with me, would she be here now, or would I have truly lost her to another man?
Who’d fucking know? All I know is that it makes my goddamn head hurt, so it’s easier to keep looking forward.
“Did I hear your dad right when he said he’s okay with us now?”
Belle tips her head to the side, brow pinched as though in thought, while I walk us to our room. “I want to say yes, but he never actually said he was okay with it.” She holds my gaze. “He said something funny when we left Cerise’s.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he was taking me home.” She smiles as I set her on the bed. “So I thought he meant his house, home, you know?”
He approves. He may not like it still, but he approves. “This is your home now, dove.”
“I know.” She slips her arms around my neck with her whispered words, pulling me over top of her. “How cool is that?”
I return her kiss, yet pull back before she can take things further, one last question still on my mind. “Are you still going to call that douchebag ex of yours?”
She chuckles beneath me, gaze fixed on her fingers as she weaves them through my hair. “I don’t think so.”
“Changed your mind?”
Her warm brown eyes find mine. “Realised that all I need to focus on is right here.” Her hands pat my shoulders as she says it. “I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, with exactly who I’m supposed to be with.”
I spend the rest of the night telling Belle I feel the same through my touch, echoing her words with my kiss, and stealing what little parts of her remain untouched and keeping them for myself.
And as she falls asleep with her head on my arm, her leg tangled in mine, I make a promise: Every day with her is a gift, and from here on I’ll treat them as exactly that; something given with sentiment and care, something not to be taken for granted.
I’ll take each day as it comes and make the most of it, because if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about keeping Belle, it’s that it’ll never be an easy task.
When you have something as precious as what we do, there’s always somebody out there who wants to steal it away.
Always.