When Alexa woke to the sound of ringing, her heart leapt into her throat and she scrambled to answer it. When she looked at the screen it was only Joe.
“Hey,” she said, trying not to let the disappointment be obvious in her tone.
“Heard from forensics.”
“And?”
“The gun is a match. Rucker Marshall killed Hugh Millard. Chief is playing it off like it was a miracle that new evidence surfaced leading us to the killer, rather than admit he closed the case too soon.”
“Of course he did. But whatever. We got him and that’s all that counts. When’s the trial?”
“Hasn’t been scheduled yet. We’re still choosing a prosecutor and have to give him a chance to get a lawyer.”
“Will you need us both?”
“Yup. That a problem?”
“Of course not. Thanks for the update.”
She hung up the phone and stared at it. She could just text Hawk, but that wouldn’t open the door to much conversation. She could call him, and that would be a step better, but still a little distant. Or she could just go over there and talk to him face to face. As she battled between how to get him onboard with the new information she absently strolled into the kitchen. Maybe food, she thought, thinking of what might constitute a peace offering.
Alexa went to her kitchen and whipped up a batch of bean soup. She fluffed her hair and did her makeup and when she thought she looked okay she walked over with the soup. She knocked and waited, her heart thudding loudly in her ears.
Hawk looked half asleep when he pulled open the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She held up the container. “I made you some food. And I have some news.”
“Thanks.”
She heard Damian whine from the kitchen. Hawk stepped away to let her in and turned from her to see what he needed. When she stepped into the hall, she saw Damian reaching for her, letting out a steady cry. She stood there, not sure what to do. Hawk put the soup in the kitchen, picked Damian up, and brought him to her.
“Want to hold him? I think he missed you.”
“Of course.” She took Damian and cuddled him close.
“What’s the news?”
“Forensics confirmed that the gun we found at Rucker’s house was the gun used to kill Hugh.”
Hawk nodded slowly, like it was taking a long time to sink in. “So he really did it. He killed my brother.”
“Apparently over drugs or those diamonds. Or both maybe.”
“I can’t believe Hugh got mixed up with that guy. He should have just kept stealing cars.” He glanced at her, then corrected himself. “The legal way.”
“I know what you meant.”
“Thanks for letting me know, and thanks for the food. I’ll bring the container back when it’s gone.”
“No rush.”
Hawk reached over and took Damian back. He started crying, but Hawk bounced him and swayed him. “So, we’ll both testify?”
“Yes. The trial isn’t scheduled yet, but I’d guess it’ll be several weeks or months from now.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
He stood there, watching her like he was just waiting for her to go but she couldn’t leave just like that.
“Hawk, I want to say I’m sorry again. I know I lied and kept things from you that I shouldn’t have. I never dreamed I’d fall for you, but I have. I’m not a cop anymore, and part of that, I realized, is because I like the rebellious nature of being a PI. You brought that out in me. I could never go back to doing things by the book like they have to. I like making up my own rules. Just remember that I’m the same Alexa you spent all that time with, who you had feelings for, too. I haven’t changed. Now you just know my past and what brought me here in the first place. But you’re what’s kept me here. You’re the reason I want to be here. I loved taking care of Damian and seeing you every day. I miss him. I really hope you can forgive me. You said how much it hurt to be wrongfully accused. I’m not saying that I didn’t act deceitfully. I wasn’t honest with you and I own up to that. But don’t hold against me something that wasn’t done with the intent to hurt anyone, especially you. Give me the mercy you wished you would have gotten.”
“I understand,” he said.
Then he reached out to grab the door’s edge and slowly pulled it shut. She got the hint and stepped back off his porch. She walked back across the lawn to her house, her head hanging low, her chest about to implode. She couldn’t stand the rawness of it, of how much it hurt to be rejected by someone she cared for so much.
When she got home she wandered around aimlessly. She thought about working on a few projects, but nothing interested her much. Any time she tried to change her mind to something other than Hawk and Damian it ended up coming right back to moments she’d spent with them.
Eventually, she sat down with a hot cup of tea and just cried. There was nothing else to do but to give in to it. The thought that kept running through her mind was that she’d screwed up. She’d lost him forever. The man who had seemed like her total opposite at first, but who had brought out of her this other part of herself. A part she hadn’t even known she was missing, but was now so vital to her. She thrived on the feeling of adrenaline pumping through her veins, and she’d gotten used to feeling it when Hawk was around.
For days, Alexa couldn’t bring herself to leave the house. She moved from her bed to the couch and back again and couldn’t even initiate an interest in work. The dishes piled high in the sink, her laundry became a heap on her floor, and she stopped showering. And she didn’t care. Nothing seemed worth it. Nothing seemed to matter. Finally, on the fourth day, she got an idea and after showering and preparing a healthy breakfast rededicated herself to getting back on track.
“Hi, this is Alexa Reynolds,” she said when the woman answered the phone. “You just sold me a house not too long ago.”
“Of course! Hi Alexa. Are you loving your new home?”
“That’s why I’m calling. I need to sell it.”
“Sell it? But you’ve only been there a few months.”
“I know, and it’ll be a real loss, but something has come up and there’s no way around it, Alexa said. “I can’t live here anymore.”
“Did something happen? Is there something wrong with the house?”
“No. Nothing at all. The neighbor is great, too. I just… need to be in a different city. It’s hard to explain, but it’s related to my job, and there’s not much I can say about it.”
“Ah, I understand. Well, I hate to say, but I think you’ll end up losing some money. With the closing costs, and all the transfer fees, and commission—”
“I know and I wish there were some other way around it, but I’ll just have to take what I can get.”
“Sure. I understand. Well, I can stop over later tomorrow to take new photos, and we can set up the listing.”
“Sounds perfect. Thank you.” Alexa hung up the phone, then went to the basement. She still had many boxes that she hadn’t unpacked yet. The ones she had unpacked were flattened and resting against the basement wall. She picked up the stack and took them upstairs with an air of dejection.