Hawk looked out the window for the hundredth time. So much of him wanted to go over to Alexa’s. He couldn’t deny that he missed her. And Damian seemed to be missing her badly, too. Every time someone came to the door, he looked up and started reaching for the door.
He had sold two of the diamonds and that had gotten him a handsome hundred grand on an online auction. He had enough money now that he didn’t have to worry about working and he planned to take that time off to regroup, to be with Damian, and to find a new babysitter. But instead he’d spent most of it milling around the house listlessly with no focus. He played with Damian and took care of him, but his mind seemed to always be elsewhere.
A few times he’d walked to the door, put his hand on the knob, and turned it. But before he could pull it open, he always walked away. He couldn’t get the lump out of his stomach. For months, she had been in his house, taking care of his baby, sleeping with him. He had been with her, and he hadn’t even known about her past. If that was true, perhaps it meant that it wasn’t a big part of her anymore. It didn’t come into her day-to-day life. She worked from home doing her PI work, and if she interacted with the police, it was nothing major.
When he really thought about it he had to admit that her past, her whole set up of moving to be close to him, to investigate Hugh’s death, all of her deceit, had ended up being for a good cause. Can the ends justify the means, then, he kept wondering.
She’d found Damian quickly after the kidnapping, and though he wasn’t sure if her involvement had caused it in the first place she had done all she could to get him back, and had succeeded. With all of his distrust of the police, circumstances had forced him to reexamine his prejudices.
He paced across his living room floor off to one side Damian played with some blocks.
Other than the obvious complications involved in dating a cop, there were other considerations. Trust was a two-way street and he hadn’t been straightforward with her either. Blame went both ways, and he had to admit that if their positions were reversed things looked quite similar, no matter which perspective you were using. But what about his MC? They didn’t always uphold the law, and having a PI – however rogue – on his arm was a contentious issue.
He picked up his phone and texted Blade. “What’s the club’s verdict on Alexa?”
He waited for a minute, then got a response.
“She’s a cool chick. I told her to come by with you anytime.”
Hawk stared at the text in shock. He had invited her to the headquarters? Women weren’t always allowed in there. Even with their men. It took time for them to be accepted.
He sent back, “Thanks.”
“Any chick who does all that for her man is okay by us. And Dugout is hoping she can get him out of a few speeding tickets.”
Hawk chuckled. He looked out the window again and saw a woman walk up to Alexa’s door. The woman looked slightly familiar, but he couldn’t place her. Alexa came to the door a moment later and seemed happy to see the stranger.
The longing in his chest stirred. For almost an hour he paced back and forth, looking to and fro, and at last the door opened again and the other woman came out and walked down to her car where she pulled out a large sign. He suddenly recalled the face; it was the woman who had sold Alexa the house. She walked the sign to the end of the driveway and stuck it in the ground. Then she got back in her car and drove off.
Hawk stared at the “For Sale” sign like it was a death sentence. She was selling the house. Moving away. She didn’t want to be near him any longer. Maybe this whole time, he’d been thinking about it wrong. She wasn’t sitting over there, heartbroken, waiting for him to come and save the day. He sat down in the living room and stared blankly at Damian for a while. He crawled over and held up a block to Hawk.
He took it and looked down at the baby. “I think I screwed up big time.”
Damian sat down, as if to listen.
“What am I going to do? I want Alexa back, but I think it’s too late.”
Damian’s face fell, as if he understood. He looked over in the direction of her house and reached out a hand. Then he said, in a garbled sound, “Lex!”
Hawk’s eyes grew wide. “What?”
Damian reached again and repeated it. “Lex!”
Hawk put his head in his hands. “Are you kidding me, kid? Your first word is her name? Are you going to hate me forever, too?”
Damian crawled toward the window that faced her house. He banged his little hands on the wall below the window.
Hawk sighed. He had to try one last time.
“Okay then,” he said to Damian. “Are you going to help me make something amazing to win Alexa over?”
Damian clapped his hands together. Hawk picked him up and went into the kitchen.