I watch as Naefaren closes the door behind himself. For a moment, I just sit, stunned, frustrated, and hurt. It feels like rejection even if he thinks he has a reason.

Screw hurt, I’m mad.

Does he think I'm a child? That he has to make sure to protect me from myself? That I don't have my own thoughts and feelings?

I'm now well beyond pissed.

Getting up, I try to ignore the twinges that remind me of what just happened. I really don't want to be naked while I'm feeling this way so I reach into a drawer and pull out the first item of clothing, it's the pants Clara gave me. I stare at them. She's been through this. Well, not this specifically, but the general scenario and she seems pretty damn happy with Drevakin.

Maybe I can use her as a sounding board.

Pulling on the pants, I grab a shorter tunic to go on over it. Slipping on some shoes, I'm ready to go. I stride out into the hall and directly to the front door, needing to get out of here. A maid sees me, but one look at my face has her scurrying away.

Probably for the best.

I step out into the courtyard and take a look around. A couple of guards are talking to each other in low voices, an already hitched carriage waiting.

Perfect.

I try not to look the juntta in the eyes. They still freak me out, but I'm a big girl so I'm learning to deal. It helps that the only other way to get around is on foot. I walk over to the guards and stand there until they notice me. It doesn't take long.

"May we be of some assistance, my Princess?" the slightly taller one asks politely.

"Yes, thank you. I need to go to House Ti'ana. On urgent business."

They look at each other, frowning. Obviously, they weren't expecting an actual request on my part.

"House Ti'ana?" the shorter one repeats, a question in his voice.

"Yes."

They look at each other again.

"Perhaps I could go inform Prince Naefaren and he could accompany—"

"No," I interrupt, the idea of them needing to check in with Naefaren before I can go somewhere really hits a nerve in my current state. "We're going right now." I climb onto the carriage. "If you would rather not take me, please give me directions on how to reach House Ti'ana and I will go myself." I pick up the reins and try to look like I know what I'm doing.

I'm totally bluffing but they don't know that.

They look at each other again, this time alarmed. As one unit, they climb onto the carriage.

"There is no need to go by yourself."

"We will be honored to take you to House Ti'ana."

"Thank you," I say, relieved that I didn't have to slink back into the House Mansion with my tail between my legs. That would have really topped everything off.

One of them takes the reins and then we're moving, the juntta's multiple legs moving in spindly coordination to propel us forward. As we pass through the marketplace, I wave back at the people who bow and curtsy to me, still feeling like an impostor. That's never going to be normal.

I don't think I ever want it to be. It really chafes at my democratic beliefs, but I'm also not naive or arrogant enough to believe I can change the society here so drastically.

At the gate, the stationed guards call out a greeting which my guards return. They don't say anything else as we pass through the border wall, but I have a feeling that wouldn't have been the case had I been trying to leave on my own. That's one of the biggest adjustments I have to make, not being able to travel and move around freely will take some getting used to.

As we drive through the brightly lit tunnel and come out the other side into a dimly lit cavern, I'm glad I didn't leave on my own. I would have no idea how to navigate out here. After a few twists and turns, I'm even more glad to not be alone. The guards are alert and scanning the area as we travel, obviously on the lookout for threats.

I'm not the only one to breathe out a sigh of relief as the brightly lit tunnel leading to House Ti'ana comes into sight. After we pass through, there’s the same flat space between the tunnel and the border wall, floodlights covering the area in bright light. At the gates, we’re haled by the guards there but nobody stops us as we pass through.

Inside, the people and the marketplace are also similar to House Viir's, though the smell of the food is a little different, as is the cut of the clothes. We arrive at the courtyard in front of the House Mansion and the guards hop down. I follow suit, not wasting any time making a beeline for the front door.

I stop a couple of feet away to stare. The door is painted with a complicated design that I'm sure took forever but the combination of bright colors is truly...horrifying.

The door opens before I can get over my fascination and knock. A maid looks out inquiringly.

"May I help you?" she asks, glancing at the guards behind me.

"Yes. May I please speak with Princess Clara, if she is available? I am...Princess Ling."

Wow, that felt even weirder to say but I figure giving a title would get me through easier.

"Yes, of course," the maid says, dropping a curtsy. "You may wait in the sitting room inside while I go inform her of your arrival."

"Thank you."

The sitting room she leads us to is also pretty bright, but nothing can hold a candle to the impact of those front doors. While I'm waiting I consider the rudeness of simply showing up at someone's home. But it’s not like I can just pick up a phone and call her either.

As I'm wondering if the Alvan people might have some kind of pigeon-like animal that could be trained to carry messages, Clara hurries into the room, a plump baby on her hip.

"Oh!" I exclaim, jumping to my feet. "Oh, he's beautiful!"

"We like to think so," she says with a smile, handing him over when I hold my arms out.

He comes easily, gurgling with happiness as he pushes his plump little hands into my hair. I stare into his hazel eyes set in a cherubic, light purple face and immediately fall in love.

"Oh, you're just adorable, aren't you?" I coo, cuddling him close.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you," Clara says wryly, sitting down with a sigh. "But is something wrong?"

I look away from the armful of cuteness to focus on Clara's worried face. Sighing, I sit with the baby in my lap, letting him play with the ends of my hair.

"I had a fight with Naefaren. Well, maybe that's not quite accurate," I admit. "More like, he decided he knew what was best for me and now I'm really angry. I don't know how to deal with this in a way that won't ruin everything. I thought...maybe I could pick your brain? Since you have more experience?"

"Ah," Clara says, nodding. "There’s definitely a learning curve when you're with an Alvan guy. What exactly happened?"

"He won't have sex with me," I say bluntly.

"Hmm." Clara is completely unfazed as she taps her mouth with her finger. "Did you tell him you were coming here?"

"No," I admit. "I was too angry. I just grabbed a couple of guards and left."

She winces a little, sighing. "I understand. But Ling, you have to understand that traveling here isn't safe." She sighs, leaning forward, her forearms braced on her thighs. "You should have told Naefaren you were leaving. He's going to be worried, and with good reason."

"You're right. I let my emotions get the best of me. But it's just so frustrating, you know?"

"Oh, I know," Clara agrees. "Did he say why he wouldn't?"

"He said I didn't know the full ramifications of the Paritella. That he didn't want me to feel trapped by it, or regret my decision later."

Clara nods, her eyes on me. "You're probably not going to want to hear this, but he's not entirely wrong."

I give her a look.

"Hear me out here, I knew what the Paritella was and it still hit me like a ton of bricks when it snapped into place. There's no real preparation for that. But here's the kicker, whether or not you are Naefaren's Pari, his true mate, once you have sex with him, he's tied to you forever. That means, if you decide you'd rather go back to Earth and you leave him, it's not like he can just shrug it off and find someone else." She gives me a moment to digest that. "Are you sure this is what you want? Because bonding with him like that and then leaving..." she sits back, shaking her head. "It wouldn't be right."

I adjust the baby, carefully pulling my hair out of his hands as he yanks with a little too much enthusiasm.

"I'm not leaving. Or changing my mind," I say quietly, meeting her gaze head on. "And if there's no real preparation for the Paritella, I'm just as prepared as Naefaren is, right?"

Clara's smile is slow, her eyes twinkling. "That's certainly one way to look at it." She crosses her arms, cocking her head to the side as she regards me. "If I were you, I'd go back and tell Naefaren how I feel. Don't let him brush you off. And, when in doubt, pull the wiles card."

"The wiles card?"

"Feminine wiles," she clarifies, wagging her eyebrows at me. "Works like a charm."

I laugh, shaking my head. "Hasn't seemed to work so far," I say ruefully. "But I'll take it under advisement." With a decisive nod, I stand and hand over the baby after one more snuggle. "Time to go back and assert myself."

"Atta girl," Clara says. "Go get that dick!"

I turn to look at her.

She grins back. "Sorry. Go get your man!"

"I don't think there's any way to cheer me on that sounds good," I mutter.

"Hmm. How about good luck?"

"That works."

I wave a hand at her and leave the House Mansion, finding my guards waiting for me by the carriage where I left them.

"We can go back now," I say, hopping onto the carriage. "Thank you for waiting."

"Of course," they both say in unison, climbing onto the carriage with me.

I consider what to say and how to say it the whole way back to House Viir. Though there’s a point in the middle when an odd sound groans from the darkness and I'm pulled out of my musings. Rather than investigating, the guard holding the reins clenches his jaw and urges the juntta to go faster and I am more than fine with that.

Clara's admonishment about traveling not being safe runs through my mind again. Probably this wasn't the smartest move to make but talking to her really helped me clarify things, so I can't really regret it either. When we get back, I fully intend on cornering Naefaren and having my say.

I start to get an inkling that what I did was an even bigger deal than I realized when we reach the gates of House Viir. Guards are shouting and then one comes down and takes off for the House Mansion. That can't be good. By the time we make it through the marketplace and to the courtyard, Naefaren is waiting in the open doorway of the House Mansion, his feet braced shoulder width apart and arms crossed.

His eyes lock on me, his jaw clenched.

My guards go tense on either side.

"Don’t worry. I’ll tell him I left you with no choice," I murmur.

"Perhaps we should stay while you...talk."

Oh. They're worried about me. I look over at Naefaren again and understand why.

"Thank you, but I will be fine."

Hopefully.

The guards reluctantly hop off the carriage, one of them helping me down as well.

Time to face the music. I walk up to Naefaren, meeting his furious gaze with my own. I don't expect him to immediately pull me into a tight hug. I let out a surprised gasp and he loosens his grip enough that I’m not being crushed. Pulling me inside, he closes the door.

"Where did you go?" he demands, his voice tense.

No beating around the bush.

"House Ti'ana."

He growls, picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder before he walks down the hall.

"Put me down!" I whisper furiously, cognizant of the fact that servants are always around.

He ignores me as he opens a door and walks us inside. He tosses me onto a bed but it isn't mine this time.

"Why would you leave House Viir without informing me?" he growls, pacing in front of the bed. "Do you know how worried I was?"

"I took guards with me," I retort, sitting up. Faced with his anger, I lose my resolve to be reasonable.

"I did not know where you had gone or why!" he says in a low voice.

"I went to speak with Clara! Because you cannot get it through your thick head that I might know what I want better than you do!"

"And what is it that you want? You do not even fully know what you ask for!" he shouts, closing the distance between us and bracing his arms on either side of me.

"There’s no way to satisfy you that I am ready!" I shout back, pushing at his chest but not moving him an inch. "I am not going anywhere! I am here to stay!"

With a muttered oath, he slides a hand into the hair at the back of my head, holding me in place. His kiss is rough, passionate, and just a little out of control.

I want more.

I want everything.

He breaks the kiss just as abruptly as he started it, the eye contact searing with him this close. "So be it," he says in a hoarse voice. "I will give you what you want." He uses my hair to tilt my head back farther, gently, so it doesn't hurt. But the possessiveness of it, the control, is clear. He kisses the side of my neck, rubbing his lips against the sensitive shell of my ear. "You have made your choice."

He pushes me down on the bed, his heavy body coming down on top of mine. If that was supposed to be a threat, he missed the mark. Anticipation sings through me as I slide my hands up his back.

Yes.

His lips come down on mine once again.

Yes.

This is what I want.