My body feels undeniably heavy and riddled with pain as my eyes open as I’m being lifted from the ground. I look up as Axel stares down at me in horror before people start yelling and Axel begins to run with me in his arms.
I’m fading in and out, feeling like a ragdoll, my mind still unable to really figure out what’s going on as Axel runs with me out the back door. By the time we get out there the men from inside the bunker have climbed into dune buggies, much like the ones we arrived in. In my haze, I spot the ugly fucker with the tattoos on his face, Rix, bundling Kenzi into the back of one of the buggies. There’s so much noise going on around us, and my head is so foggy with pain, I can see him yelling at her, but I can’t hear what he’s saying. She’s moving, but her eyes are staring blankly back at us.
The only thing I can hear is Axel muttering a continual ‘sorry,’ but the undeniable pain I’m in is making me woozy, and I’m unable to concentrate.
I can hear Kace yelling orders as Axel stumbles across the sand with me still in his arms. I want to yell at him and tell him to put me the fuck down and stop carrying me like some damn bride, but I can’t find the words. My lips are dry, and my mouth’s not cooperating with the signals from my brain.
Pain is a fierce opponent. It has the ability to bring even the strongest man to his knees, and in times like this, it can be so intense that you get to a point where you can’t even feel it at all. You’re just numb, your whole body’s tingling. I don’t know if I should be grateful that I can’t feel anything, or worried that maybe there’s a reason that, as I look down at my legs, my pants are drenched in blood, and I suddenly realize that I should be able to feel that. I should be able to feel Tanner pressing against the blood flow with her hand, looking up at me like she’s confused as to how I’m still breathing. I should be able to feel Axel jolting my body from left to right as he hurries across the unsteady ground, with my deformed leg flicking from side to side.
That shit should be painful as fuck… unless...
Just as I’m about to start to freak out, fighting the thoughts that are now running rampant through my mind, a loud blast rocks us all, sending every one of my team crumbling to the ground with the force of the shake. Axel flies forward, his heavy body forcing mine through the air and landing on top of me, crushing the air from my lungs, covering me in sand.
That’s all I can remember, sand. So much fucking sand that I never want to visit another beach in my fucking life. It’s slowly swallowing me, and I can’t breathe.
And that’s when I realize that this could be it.
I’m done.
I stare at Jack with my mouth hanging open, my heart racing a million miles a second as I listen to Kace yelling over the line. “We need a fucking medic,” Kace splutters, coughing as he gasps for air. “I’ve got a man down. He’s awake, semi-responsive, but he’s had a hard hit to the head and left side of his body,” Kace explains in a rush.
“I’ve already got the backup team on their way to you,” Jack tries to tell him calmly, and I notice that he’s refusing to look over at me, his eyes narrowed on the speaker sitting in the center of the table as if he can actually see what’s going on.
“No! I want fucking air support. Get us a damn helicopter and get us the hell out of here before I lose a man, or have to explain to the Mexican police why there’s a huge gaping hole in their fucking desert.”
I can hear the desperation in his voice. From what I’ve learned about Kace since I’ve been here, he’s always calm, collected and never loses his cool in tense or stressful situations. He keeps their team focused and holds them together like super glue. But his tone is filled with worry, and though he hasn’t said it yet, I just know in my gut it’s because something has happened to Luca.
My foot taps impatiently as Jack pushes his chair back, sending it sprawling across the floor. He points his finger at one of the men in the mission room with us. “Get them air support, and get it to them five minutes ago,” he orders.
The young man nods sharply before reaching for the phone.
Sweat drenches the hairline on my neck, my whole body beginning to burn up as I try to make sense of what’s going on out there in the middle of the Mexican desert, wishing I could do something, but dreading the outcome.
Unable to sit back any longer, I leap into the space that Jack vacated, leaning over the table as I pick up the small microphone.
“Everly,” Jack warns from behind me, but I ignore him, raising the microphone to my mouth. “Kace, is Luca all right?” I ask, feeling like I’m going to vomit all over this table in front of every Agency member in here.
“Everly, you need to go. This isn’t the time—” Kace starts.
I cut him off, not about to let him bullshit me or treat me as though I’m inferior or undeserving. “No. Tell me if he’s okay. Damn it!” Just as I get out the last word, the microphone is snatched from my hand, and I’m yanked away. I fight against Jack. “Tell me if he’s okay,” I yell, struggling in his arms as he pulls me toward the door. The tears well in my eyes, dripping down my flushed cheeks as I struggle against Jack.
“Rescue copter is taking off right now. ETA seven minutes,” the young man calls to Jack as he drags me from the room, the door slamming shut behind us. He drops me to my feet.
I turn around, my breathing heavy and anger in my eyes. “He’s hurt. I know he is,” I hiss. “You need to get him out of there.”
Jack narrows his eyes at me, folding his arms across his chest. “We’ll do whatever we fucking can to get them all out in one piece. You need to trust that we know what we’re doing. We’ve done it before. We can’t have you losing your damn mind in there and causing more fucking problems than we need.”
I feel like a young girl being scolded by her father, and that thought brings another flood of tears. I fall back, my back hitting the hallway wall with a loud thump, my hands curled into fists.
“This is why we avoid attachments here, Everly. Because when situations like this happen, people lose their heads. They go crazy. And they’re no longer useful because they can’t get out of their own damn minds,” Jack scolds, his voice softening just slightly, but still with a sharpness that tells me we will have some serious words later on. “So far, all we can do is get to them and get there fast. Yes, he’s hurt bad, and he needs urgent attention, but so far there’s been no 911 call. He’s breathing so we’re still okay.”
I inhale deeply through my nose. He’s right. I’d spent night after night studying the code The Agency teams use. Kace sounded desperate to get out of there, but I heard the worry in his voice which could just be concern for his friend, or for his entire team if they’re caught in a situation where they are stuck in the middle of nowhere without back up.
I try to breathe, letting the information settle over me and trying not to picture Luca’s face or remember the sound he had made a few minutes ago, one filled with so much pain and agony that I could feel it in my bones.
“I can’t babysit you right now, you need to go have a break, pull your shit together,” Jack orders, pointing down the hallway, ordering me away, the look in his eyes one of both understanding and disappointment.
I nod and turn, trudging off down the hall, not even turning as I hear him open the door and am hit by the urgent flurry of the atmosphere inside that room as those people fight to do what they can and get Luca and the rest of the team out of that dangerous situation.
I don’t even know where I’m going until I look up and find myself standing outside the gym where I train with Luca almost every single day. I bite my lip as I push the door open, the cool air hitting me like a smack in the face, feeling like heaven against my burning cheeks and stinging eyes.
It’s empty, the sound of the door swinging closed behind me echoing off the walls. I’ve grown to love this place. Sure, I’ve always been into sports and working out, and I love the feeling you get when you build up a sweat, knowing that you’re pushing your body to its limits. But this gym has become more than just a place to work out or train my body. It’s become a place to get to know a man who, at first meeting, seemed like someone I’d happily kick in the nuts and walk away from as I flipped him off.
Luca can be obnoxious, sarcastic, and cocky with a side of arrogant. He’s in your face, and won’t let you for a second forget about him. But in this gym, he’s also supportive, comforting, motivated and determined to prove to the world that you should never assume you know someone until you’ve seen the demons they harbor in their heart.
The Luca I first met, compared to the man who bared his heart and soul to me, are two different men. However, when they came together, I found this beautiful soul who will not only do anything to protect the ones he cares for but also isn’t afraid to show he has a side to him that’s soft and sweet.
The boxing bag hanging off to the side of the room catches my eye, and my fists clench as if prepared for a battle. I push off the ground, storming toward it as I pull my arm back and plow my fist so hard into the bag that I’m surprised it doesn’t leave a gaping hole. I try again, over and over I punch the bag with everything I have, not caring that I’m not exactly dressed for a workout, just aching to release all these emotions built up inside me.
I’ve developed feelings for Luca. They’d started off slow, but then suddenly they’ve hit me like a fucking freight train, and now all I can think of is how he’s hurt, how I don’t want to lose him just yet when he’s just come into my life. I’m scared, more than scared, I’m petrified of having one more person stolen away from me.
I’ve barely survived losing my dad. It’s been the hardest time of my life, and I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been times where I wondered whether I should just follow him into the afterlife. He was my everything, my biggest cheerleader, my best friend, the person who I admire more than anyone else in this world, and he was stolen from me too soon.
He should have been here to watch me get married, he should have been here to see me have children, he should have been here to give Luca shit and threaten to kill him if he hurts me.
My punches get faster, but they’re becoming weaker and weaker as I fight to keep my heart from exploding all over this goddamn gym.
I can’t lose Luca too. Not when the hole in my chest is only just starting to heal. Not when he’s only just walked in, and by some miracle, I’m already beginning to feel whole again.
My hair sticks to my forehead as sweat streams down my face, my muscles aching for some time to rest but I won’t let them. I can barely breathe, every inhale I’m struggling against the sobs that come from deep within my gut.
I hear the door open behind me and instantly fall to my knees. My lungs scream for air, my body burns. Footsteps squeak against the floor, but I refuse to turn around.
“Get up,” Jack orders, a calmness returning to his tone. “We’re going to El Paso, Texas.”
“Why?” I whisper, wiping the tears with the back of my hand.
“Because he needs you just as much as you need him.”