Chapter Thirty-Seven
Layla
My day sucks. I mean it really bites the total big one. It’s last period and R hasn’t responded to any of my texts. At this point I might need an intervention or have my mom confiscate my phone. Not that the texts I’ve sent are stalkerish or make me out to be a total psycho. Well, at least I don’t think they do.
Why won’t he talk to me? Is it possible I did something wrong and now that I revealed who I am it’s changed his perspective of asking me to the dance? Like he doesn’t want anything to do with me at all? It shouldn’t bother me. It does though, and I really miss our conversations. Somehow, someway, I completely blew it.
Not only am I dealing with this, but now Tyler is giving me the brushoff too. What was that all about? I thought we were friends. I get he’s not really into me. I get that Selena is his type, though I cannot for the life of me understand why he would be into Selena. Is he blind? Can he not see she’s using him?
She probably has no idea what kind of things he even likes, like what his favorite band is. Not that I’m really much better but I bet I know a heck of lot more than she does.
Someone snickers beside me in class, drawing me away from my current thoughts and back into reality. Ms. Clements stares at me. “Layla, I’d like to see you after class.”
Dang it!
The final bell rings, dismissing everyone from class except me. I wait until everyone leaves before I approach Ms. Clements’s desk.
Her beady eyes lock with mine. “Layla, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately but it’s troubling me. Your work as of late is subpar. You aren’t taking notes. Do you know I called your name seven times before you even snapped out of your daydream? Exams are coming up soon and I really need you to focus.”
Nothing like getting a lecture for being below average to top off an already crappy day. She frowns at me. “Here is a copy of the notes. Do not let this happen again or I’ll be forced to call your mother and set up a meeting with the school’s counselor.”
That is the very last thing I need. “I’m sorry Ms. Clements. It won’t happen again. I promise. Thanks for the notes.”
“Be sure to study them. You only get one pass in my class.”
She dismisses me. I gather up the rest of my things and as I exit the classroom spot Tyler and Selena just outside the doorway. She’s walking her fingers up his arm and he’s not making any attempt whatsoever to dissuade her affections. A slow burn creeps up my throat as my stomach twists in knots.
Hot tears threaten to spill. I blink rapidly to hold them at bay. A few slip out as I bow my head and rush down the hall away from them. It feels like a thousand needles have pinpricked my heart when I reach my locker. What is wrong with me?
It’s just Tyler. Stupid, annoying, likes-to-make-sure-he-has-everyone’s-attention Tyler. I shouldn’t care at all. But I do. He’s the first person besides Rachel and my sister who doesn’t make fun of my dyslexia. He doesn’t look at me with pity either. He doesn’t try to make me feel dumb, and I love that.
When Adam found out about my dyslexia, he laughed, like with tears springing from his eyes. Then when we went out to restaurants he would say, “Oh, should I read the menu for you?” As if I was a toddler. I hated how much he belittled me, but I wanted to give him a chance. He didn’t know what I was going through so he didn’t know how to handle it. At the time, I thought maybe that was his way of helping, but it just humiliated me. I never told him though, so he never knew. I can’t exactly fault him for that.
“Hey,” Rachel says, pulling me from my thoughts. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “I think I’m in love with him but he likes someone else.”
She yanks me into a hug and says, “It’s going to be okay. Let’s just cheer our asses off tonight. Go to a party. Find you someone to flirt with and have a good time. It’ll help you forget about whoever is bumming you out.”
“It’s Tyler. I love Tyler. Oh, God, what is wrong with me?”
She leans back and smiles. “Well, what about mystery guy?”
“He won’t talk to me. I told him who I was and he hasn’t responded. See,” I say as I dig out my phone and hand it over to her.
She lets me go and looks through the texts. “Oh, whoa. Maybe there is an explanation. His parents could have taken his phone away from him because he didn’t do a chore or something.”
I shrug as I take my cell back. “Maybe. But wouldn’t a mom or a dad text back saying he lost his phone privileges or something?”
Rachel shakes her head. “Whenever I have to turn my phone over I punch in a new password and give it to them. My mom will see the messages, but she won’t be able to respond. Send him this: Sorry if you’re grounded. Hope you can talk soon. This way he won’t think you are crazy for blowing up his phone with those messages,” she says.
I chew on my lower lip. “Okay.”
“If he ends up not being grounded then he’s a total jerk and you deserve better.”
The corners of my lips sink. As much as I want to let her words empower me, there is a deep pain in my chest at the thought that R wouldn’t want me. It’s just another kick to my damaged ego.
I voice text the message and push send.
Rachel and I head out into the parking lot. For the first time ever, I don’t feel like cheering at a game. Especially not one where the one person I want is going to be looking for someone else on the sidelines.
I shouldn’t be upset. I should be happy. How can I possibly be happy, though, knowing the person he wants is so wrong for him?
As I make my way to Rachel’s car I hear my name. “Layla!”
I turn and spot Mark and my sister going toward her Jeep. They wave me over. I have no idea what those two want. From the way they’re huddled next to each other, I don’t think it would be wise to go near them. They look all delighted and in love, and I’m pretty sure my mood will bum them out.
Juliet locks stares with me. Reluctantly I approach.
“We were going to head to the Pizzeria. Wanna come?” Juliet asks as Mark pulls Jared over to us.
“Yeah. Come on. You’re in, aren’t you Jared?” Mark says.
I glance up at Jared and note his grim expression. A slight tug on my left arm pulls my attention and I notice Rachel standing beside me. “Someone say Pizzeria? I’m in. Lays you’re in, aren’t you? You love their pizza,” Rachel chimes.
Of course, I love their pizza. It’s the best in the town. Only an idiot with no taste buds whatsoever wouldn’t like it. But then he joins the group with her clinging to him like post-it and my stomach sours. “I, uh … don’t think so. Sorry.”
I backpedal away right as Tyler says, “What’s going on?”
“We were trying to get a group together to head to the Pizzeria. Everyone’s in except Layla,” Mark answers while he stops me from leaving.
Great. Now everyone is going to know something is wrong and ask me about it. Tyler looks at me with a raised brow. “Not feeling pizza or something?” he says. I swear it’s like the whole swarm of people around us melt away and it’s just us.
Why can’t he see that thing suctioned to his side like an octopus is the reason I don’t want to go? Surely, he can see. I blink quickly as I feel a fresh bout of tears start to bubble up in my eyes.
Darting my gaze to the ground I stifle the urge to express what I’m really feeling and answer, “Not today. I’ve got to catch up on some homework.” A sharp pain forms in my chest and I swear I’m about to fall over and die.
Rachel grabs my arm and pulls me away before I can embarrass myself any further. Clearly Selena won. I need to come to grips with that fact really quickly or this is going to be one of the crappiest days not only of the year but possibly my whole life.
We’re about halfway to Rachel’s car when a deep voice speaks from behind. “Hey, uh, Layla?”
I turn and swipe away a few tears. “What’s up, Jared?” I try smiling but there is no point. I’m a mess and there is no sense in hiding it now. He can return to his friends and tell them some rumor, like maybe I’m missing Adam or something.
“Are you two going somewhere else to eat?”
I glance over at Rachel. She smiles like always whenever Jared is around. Big and flirty. Most of the time it makes me laugh, how bad she has it for him, but this time I can’t even muster a smirk. “Yeah, well, I don’t know about Rach, but I was going to grab a burger instead.”
“Ugh! Burgers. Can’t we get Chinese?” Rachel whines.
I shake my head. I need a burger and a shake but she is driving.
“I’m down for some Moe’s if that’s where you’re going?” Jared says.
Rachel groans. “Fine. But only because it’s two against one. Need a ride, stud?”
Her flirting knows no bounds. “If you don’t mind.”
“You can take the front,” I say. I know Rachel wouldn’t want him sitting anywhere else, even if he looks like he’d rather be. As I slip into the backseat I can’t help but notice Jared staring off into the distance at something.
“Pick the tunes,” Rachel says to him.
Jared looks half dazed. “What?”
“Music. You pick what you want to hear.”
“Ah, that’s cool. Listen to whatever you want.” He shifts in his seat as Rachel pulls us out of the parking lot and onto the main drag. “It’s Tyler bugging you, huh?” he asks me.
“What? Why would you think Tyler is bugging me?”
Rachel groans. “Seriously Lays, he pegged it. Don’t sit there and deny why you turned down gooey, warm mozzarella for dead, sizzling cow served on a bun.”
I thought she was on my side. Some friend she is. I roll my eyes. “Yes. Fine. I admit it. Your buddy basically told me off this morning, and then Selena was practically dry humping his leg most of the day. It’s been so stellar all I want to do is drown my rejection in a huge shake and eat a bacon burger with a mountain of fries.”
“You should talk to him,” Jared suggests.
“I kind of tried that today but he blew me off. And again, I’d like to point out he’s already taken by some sophomore skeeva.”
Rachel giggles. Jared shakes his head. “He’s probably just doing it to make you jealous.”
“Did he tell you that?” I demand.
“Nope. I’m not allowed to speak for him. But I think he does like you too. Why else would he even care if you weren’t going to the Pizzeria?”
“This way he can eat somewhere else? Maybe he wants alone time so he can take his new toy back to his palace. It doesn’t matter.” I know I’m turning into a silly sap. The words are already out there though, so judge away.
“Oh, for God’s sake! You are sounding like a child. Knock it off. We’re getting you a damn shake, a burger and some fries, and then we’re going to cheer. After the game, we’re going to a party and we’re going to find you a man.”
I inwardly wince and notice Jared cringe. Even he thinks it’s a terrible idea. I’m not Rachel. I can’t just hop from person to person with no feelings involved.
Before I can make an argument, she pulls into Moe’s.