Chapter Seven
Layla
Rachel is sitting on my bed, and we’re discussing penises. Well, she’s talking about the sizes and stuff, and I’m stuck listening.
“Austin was fantastic. I can’t believe I waited this long to be with him. Even if he’s small.” She motions to the downstairs area.
“Um … Rachel, I don’t want to hear this.”
She pulls a blue sucker out of her mouth and points it at me. “You’re my best friend. I have to listen to all your dull Adam stories. You’re going to listen to my exciting Austin ones”
My sister has a word for Rachel’s sex life. Well, she has a lot of them, actually. Slutty is usually her top choice, followed by dirty, and degrading. Normally, I stick up for Rachel and tell Juliet to mind her own business. At least Rachel is putting herself out there unlike my sister, who would rather hole up in her room with books. Sorry, but those Mr. Darcy characters aren’t going to pull themselves from the pages and magically appear. But today I’m starting to see Juliet’s point. It’s not putting yourself out there if almost every guy in school has had a piece of the pie.
“Oh my God, his tongue definitely made up for the lack of length.”
I stick my fingers in my ears and sing, “LALALALALALA.”
She pulls one out and says, “Seriously; grow up. I’m telling you this so when you do give it up to Adam for the first time, you’ll know how to rate it.” She gives me a square look. “If you’ve got nothing to compare him to and no expectations, how will you know if it was really good or not?”
I shoot her a look that is half self-doubt and half embarrassment. “I’m not ever giving him anything!”
“What? Why? Oh, does his kisses not set you in that kind of mood?”
If my eyes could shoot laser beams, I’d blast her. “No! I don’t know, anymore. He’s cheating on me.”
“Wait, what? With who? Tell me you went postal on him and the bitch.”
I shrug. “Her name is Diane. I don’t know her. I didn’t exactly see a face shot of her.
“Oh, hon. I’m sorry. When the hell did this happen?”
“Last night.”
She shoves my shoulder. “And you didn’t tell me until now? We could have already slashed all his tires and painted I have crabs on his hood.”
I laugh. “Yeah. No. I’m not going to do anything crazy.”
“We totally should. That’s not even the craziest part of what would be the most epic revenge ever.”
I shrug. “What would be the point? I won’t feel any better. I keep thinking this is somehow my fault.”
Rachel stands and starts walking to the door. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll be back.” She leaves my room and moments later I hear, “What the hell, Rachel? Get your hands off me!”
“Shut up. Your sister needs you.”
Juliet enters my room looking super pissed. “You needed to send her to my door? Uck. I better not get the clap or something ‘cause she touched me.”
Rachel sneers at Juliet. “I’m perfectly clean; thank you, miss bitter prude.”
“Ladies! Seriously, knock it off. Rachel, why did you get my sister?”
“Because even though her future is probably a house with a thousand cats and her books, she can talk some sense into you.” She turns to Juliet. “Layla thinks because she didn’t sleep with Adam, she’s to blame for him sexting some other girl.”
Juliet wrinkles her nose and glares at me. “Did she really drag me out of my room for this conversation?”
“Yes. Now tell her!” Rachel says.
“There is nothing to tell. She already knows it’s not her fault.” She sighs as she looks at me. “If you weren’t ready, you weren’t ready. If he was a prick and couldn’t wait, that’s not your fault. And he doesn’t deserve the honor, as Mom puts it.”
I smile at Juliet. “Thanks.”
She nods. “Can I leave now? I was in the middle of Recon.”
Rachel glares at her. “Ugh, you’re a disgrace.”
“Hey. No, she’s not. Yes, Juliet, you can go.”
Juliet rolls her eyes at Rachel then exits my room. Rachel shakes her head at my door. “You have to admit she’s never going to get a date.”
“That’s her thing. Video games, books, cosplaying her favorite characters, and mudding in her Jeep. So what? At least some jackhole won’t rip her heart out.”
Rachel sits back down on the bed. “Well, you need to quit moping and get yourself another man.”
“I can’t. I’m kind of … I still haven’t … ”
She scrunches up her nose. “Damn it, Layla! Please tell me you dumped his sorry ass as soon as you found out he was parking his car in someone else’s garage.”
I have no idea where she comes up with these phrases. My face heats with shame and embarrassment. “Not yet. I’m going to tell him we’re done.”
“Please tell me you aren’t going to go all drama queen on his butt at school on Monday. That shit never ends good, Lay.”
“I know. I’m not. I’m going to do it tonight when he comes over. He texted me.” I swing my phone to show her, and she shakes her head.
“‘My face misses yours. Coming by tonight. Cool, baby?’ Is this how he always texts you?”
I pull my phone back. “Pretty much.”
She purses her lips together. “Yeah, no wonder you haven’t been giving it to him. Why didn’t you dump him sooner?”
I narrow my eyes. “I don’t know. I thought … I thought we were good together and he loved me. And I guess I thought his texts were sweet.”
“They’re not sweet. This is sweet.” She pulls up something on her phone and reads, “’Hey gorgeous, I can’t wait to spend a day with you. The air is sweeter when you’re around me. I need to get lose in those baby blues. Counting the minutes.’” She smiles. “That is sweet and hot, right?”
“He sounds like a fifty-year-old stalker. Who wrote that?”
“You can refer to him as Sexy Butt.”
“What? Why are we calling him that?” I cringe after the question leaves my mouth because in all honesty I don’t want to know.
“Duh. He has one amazingly sexy butt. He’s our age and into poetry.”
“Oooohkay. Why not call him by his real name?”
Rachel rolls her eyes. “Hello, my phone’s password must be knowledgeable to all. Mom’s new ‘We don’t have secrets in this house’ crap. That means the little monster from hell, loves to get into my phone. And if Patina doesn’t know their real names she can’t find them or tell on me either.”
I raise a brow. “You do know Patina could call them.”
“Right and when a deep hot throb voice answers what’s she going to say, ‘Hey ya sexy butt’ The guy will laugh and hang up on her. Besides my mom thinks she should quit snooping around so much anyway.”
“So, you labeling them this ensures Patina won’t tell on you?”
“Pretty much because she’ll get grounded. Last week I purposely named one rocking hard on and she told mom. You should have been there. My mom made her stay in her room with no electronics. She also told Patina if she ever used potty mouth language again she won’t leave the house until she’s fifty.” Rachel laughs.
I frown a bit. Poor Patina. But I can also feel for Rachel. Patina does love to stir trouble. She’s a freshman at our school and has already crashed a few parties, tried to get pictures of Rachel drinking in order to show their mom. But the best was when she wore one of Rachel’s outfits to school and tried hitting on one of Rachel’s ex’s Perry Porter. Everyone in elementary school used to call him P.P. and then giggle. Okay, I still giggle and some people still call him that.
Rachel glances at her phone. “Hey … I have to run. I got to take the monster to the mall to get a dress for this dinner thing she has.”
“Okay.”
“Text me later with the deets of you punching Adam in his throat.”
I smile at the thought. He’d come to my door and I’d slam my fist right into his neck. Then he would croak, “What did I do?” I’d say, “Ask Diane.” Then I would slam the door in his face.
She hugs me. “Good idea, huh? I can actually see your brain working it out. Thinking something evil is actually putting a smile back on your face. Yay. I did my job. Remember; text me.” She pulls back and heads out the door.