Time moved strangely during Drew's last semester of undergrad. Individual moments seemed to drag on and on as though suspended in amber. Sitting in a stuffy classroom, forcing himself to take notes and pretending he wasn't watching students stroll across the newly green campus. Laughing as Max attempted to fit half of an extra-large pizza in his mouth at once. Staring down at his books in the library, sucking down cup after cup of bitter coffee and trying to stay awake the night before an exam. Driving down the highway, windows rolled down and music blasting, as he and his teammates drove to yet another regatta.

But then it was May, and Drew had no idea where the time had gone.

He was about to leave Bellamy, the first place he'd truly felt like he belonged.

He wasn't ready yet—but he wasn't sure he'd ever feel ready.

* * *

After spring break, Max and Finn had sat down with Andy and Drew in the cramped living room to make an announcement.

"So, um…" Finn started. He glanced at Max, chewing on his lip, and Drew grew nervous. "There was something… I needed to tell you."

Andy and Drew exchanged glances, and Drew could see Andy was freaked out, too. He wasn't sure what could be so dire that it necessitated a sit down meeting like this.

Max was sitting beside Finn, watching him. Drew had never seen Finn, normally calm and collected, quite this flustered.

"I… We… Well, we're… um… Max and I… we—"

"We're dating," Max burst in, and Finn's face went red. Max reached over and grabbed Finn's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Finn's my boyfriend now, and I'm his boyfriend, too."

Andy burst out laughing and Drew shot him a sharp glance.

"Jesus Christ," Andy said. "I thought you were going to tell me you were dying. That's awesome, dude."

Max and Finn exchanged glances, as if they were surprised by this response.

"So… it's not… weird for you?" Finn said. "I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable—"

"It's fine," Drew reassured him. "It… it makes sense. You guys go well together. And I'm glad you felt comfortable telling us."

Drew looked over at Andy, who was making a strange face that Drew immediately recognized—he was fighting his hardest not to blurt out that they'd known for months.

"And, I mean, Max, you did make out with Finn during Truth or Dare over spring break," Andy said, fighting to hide his smirk. "So it's not like this is coming completely out of left field."

It was Max's turn to crack up.

"Okay, good point," he said. He leaned over, kissing Finn on the cheek, and Drew felt a little jolt of pain, like brushing up against an old bruise that hadn't quite healed.

Max and Finn looked like they belonged together, as though some golden glow was radiating out from within them.

Drew wished he had that.

Drew wished he had Andy.

He shook himself mentally, willing himself to be happy for his friends. But, Drew had discovered, it was easy for happiness and sadness to coexist, all jumbled up so tightly he had no hope of untangling them.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell them?" Andy asked.

The question caught Drew off guard. After Max and Finn had announced they were dating, they'd all talked for a long time, carrying on a conversation that lasted all the way through dinner. Max and Finn gave a brief—and thankfully sanitized—timeline of how they'd ended up together, which had turned into a discussion about Bellamy's LGBT culture and the rowing team itself.

Drew glanced over at Andy, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Max and Finn had gone off to do boyfriend-y things, and Andy and Drew were walking back to their apartment. The night was warm, with a soft humidity that promised summer, and across the quad, Drew saw the brief glimmer of a firefly.

"I… don't know," Drew said. He knew Andy was simply asking him, not accusing him or implying that Drew should have come out to Max and Finn. "Not… not ready, I guess."

Andy nodded, and the answer seemed to satisfy him. Drew was quiet for a little longer as they walked.

He'd always thought telling his father would be the final hurdle, but he soon discovered this was far from the truth. The problem with being gay, Drew realized, was that he couldn't simply come out once and be done with it. He was slowly accepting the fact that this would be a conversation he'd have to have over and over for the rest of his life.

It was all a little too much to deal with at the moment.

And there didn't seem to be much point to it. He wasn't dating anyone, after all.

Drew glanced over at Andy, who seemed uncharacteristically lost in thought. Drew had come a long way in the past few months—the heartbreak had faded to a dull ache, like a cavity in a tooth that was always wheedling away at the edges of his consciousness.

On nights like tonight, though, it hurt more than usual.

* * *

Drew felt almost giddy as he taped up the last box. He'd done it. He'd graduated. He'd survived four years at Bellamy University, survived four years on the crew team, survived four years of having a best friend who once set his own hair on fire at a party.

He looked around the room, expecting to be inundated with memories from the last year. But Drew was surprised to find that the room seemed blank and impersonal, now that they were both mostly packed—well, Drew was packed, and Andy had thrown most of his belongings towards the cardboard boxes he was using to move.

The room where he'd lived for the past year, where he'd had some of the highest and lowest points of his whole life, suddenly looked… unremarkable now that it had been stripped almost bare. It was simply waiting for the next set of roommates to begin their own adventure next year.

Drew picked up a box and went into the hallway, where he could hear his housemates talking. He paused at the bottom of the stairs, smiling as he listened to them. They'd all made promises that they'd stay in touch, that they'd visit one another—Max and Finn were going to Philly, Andy was staying in Linfield, and Drew was off to Chicago.

But Drew knew that, even if they reunited, it would never be quite like this, and he reveled in the last golden moments of his college career. It was bittersweet—he loved his friends dearly, but he also knew that once he no longer lived with them, he'd hear from them less and less as the years went by, until all he had left were a few well-worn, much-cherished memories.

That was just the way things work. In the end, Drew knew he was never quite remarkable enough to be worth staying in touch with.

"You did really well," Finn was saying. "Once you started, you know, actually doing your homework."

"Oh, shut up," Max said. There was a pause, and Drew assumed, from the dramatic retching noise Andy made, that they kissed.

"Man, you guys are too adorable," Drew heard Andy say. "I'm gonna get diabetes or something."

"You had your chance," Max said. "Should have snapped Finn up while you could."

Drew climbed the stairs to see Max with his arm around Finn, Finn blushing deeply.

"Please," Andy said, laughing. "We all know Drew is my soulmate."

"What about me?" Drew said, and three heads swiveled towards him.

"I was just saying you're my soulmate," Andy said casually. He was leaning up against the counter, and Drew set down the box he was carrying.

"Oh, yeah, sure thing, my little sugarcube," Drew said mildly.

"Hey, careful with those jokes," Finn said with a grin as he leaned against Max. "Jokes like that are how we got started."

"Who says we're joking?" Drew said, frowning with mock indignation.

Drew wasn't quite sure what possessed him then—maybe it was the summer air, or the sheer relief that he'd managed to graduate and find a job, or maybe it was just that Andy was a terrible—or a wonderful—influence.

As he walked by, Drew's arm snaked out and pulled Andy into him, planting a dramatic kiss right on Andy's lips.

And Andy, to his credit, went right along with it, going pliant in Drew's arms before pulling back, wiping his mouth as if nothing had happened.

Drew had to fight to keep a straight face as he went downstairs, leaving Max and Finn with their jaws on the floor.

Once he was alone in the room, he touched his lips. It seemed fitting, in a strange and sad way, that both their first kiss and their last had been something close to practical jokes, bracketing something that had felt like so much more.

Someday, he knew, the heartache would fade away completely, and all those jokes would feel a little funnier.

* * *

That evening, Drew found himself on the roof of an academic building, breaking approximately four million campus rules.

Of course it was Andy who'd convinced him to climb up here, claiming that Drew already had his diploma and Bellamy wasn't going to demand it back. Drew, of course, could have poked holes in Andy's logic, but he allowed Andy to drag him out onto the roof.

This part of the roof was flat, with a little barrier around the edge. It felt more like a strange, industrial balcony than a roof, dotted with fans and other parts of the campus building's ventilation system.

They sat down beside one another, settling in as the sun slipped from the sky.

And he was glad he'd risked it—the view was worth any worry of getting caught.

"Admit it," Andy said, giving Drew a sly grin.

"Admit what?" Drew asked.

"Admit that this was an amazing idea," Andy said. Drew snorted.

"It was… a decent idea," Drew said, and Andy looked aghast. "Fine. It was an amazing idea."

Andy smiled proudly, looking out over the city skyline.

They were quiet for a while, and Drew inhaled deeply. The air was warm and sweet, and from the roof, they had a perfect view of the Linfield skyline, the buildings downtown sparkling, cradled by the velvety blackness of the hills beyond.

"Can I, um, say something?" Andy said after a long while. His voice was quiet.

"Yeah, sure," Drew said, tensing. That request rarely prefaced anything pleasant.

"When, um—when you kissed me. Earlier today. In front of Max and Finn—"

Drew felt like he might dissolve into a puddle of embarrassment. That had been such a bad idea, and so out of character—of course Andy felt awkward and creeped out.

"I'm sorry, Andy—" Drew broke in, before Andy could finish. "It was totally inappropriate, I didn't mean to make you feel—"

"Wait," Andy said, holding up his hand. "That's—that's not what I was going to say."

Drew frowned, waiting for him to continue.

Andy hugged his knees up to his chest, curling in on himself despite the mild night. He looked out across the city, his features haloed by the glitter of the Linfield skyline. He swallowed before he spoke.

"I—I was just say that—like, I didn't know if—maybe you—like, before, when we were—whether or not we—you know—but I—"

He trailed off, glancing over at Drew, and Drew couldn't help laughing gently.

"Uh, what?"

Andy grinned sheepishly and ran his hand through his hair.

"Sorry," he said. "I’m… not good at this stuff." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable—" Drew said. "I was just fucking with Max and Finn, and I didn't do it well—this is why I leave being funny to you and Max—"

"No—" Andy said, sounding almost frustrated. "I wasn't—you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I liked it and—" He trailed off again, burying his face in his hands. Drew had never seen Andy like this, vulnerable in quite this way.

Andy drew a deep breath, and even in the dim glow from the city lights, Drew could see his cheeks were blushing scarlet.

"I guess… we never really talked about it," Andy said, so softly Drew barely heard him. "All that stuff last semester. I just wanted you to know that it, um, meant a lot to me. What we had. And I know you weren't interested in dating me or anything, and that's fine, but—I—I—cared a lot about you, you know? And I think, like, when you do start dating some guy, you're going to make him really happy."

Andy was looking out over the city again, like he didn't want to meet Drew's gaze, and Drew felt the cogs in his mind come to a screeching halt. There were a dozen things he wanted to say in response, but when he opened his mouth, the least eloquent thing popped out.

"You're straight, though," Drew said, and he immediately wanted to smack himself.

Andy shrugged.

"I guess… not that straight," Andy said with a weak laugh. He hugged his knees in tighter. "I was… pretty fucked up when you ended stuff."

"I—I—" Drew stammered, his brain still playing catch up. He'd worked so hard to keep himself from hoping things between them might develop, had fought so hard to stop himself from falling for a straight guy—

A straight guy who wasn't, it seemed, actually straight.

"You don't have to say anything," Andy said. "I guess I just wanted you to know that—you're a catch, Andrew Riordan." He glanced over at Drew, giving him a crooked smile.

Drew stared at him, and Andy's smile faded slightly.

"You—you thought that I didn't want you?" Drew blurted out. Andy's brow furrowed.

"Well, yeah," he said, frowning. "That's what you said—you'd never meant for anything to happen—it was too complicated—I mean, I basically just threw myself at you and got a crush, and I get that you never wanted that—"

Drew scrubbed his hand over his face.

"Andy—" Drew said slowly. "That—that wasn't what I meant at all. When I said that—over Thanksgiving break—I meant—I was ending things because I had feelings for you and didn't think they were reciprocated."

Andy blinked.

"Wait—so you—"

"Thought you weren't interested, yeah," Drew said. "And you—"

"Thought you weren't interested," Andy finished.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and a bittersweet feeling burned through Drew, elation and melancholy knotted together too tightly to disentangle. It was all too much to handle. Knowing all the pain he'd felt had been because of a stupid misunderstanding just made things worse.

His mind reeled, trying to comprehend it all.

Andy had wanted him. Andy had wanted him. All those little moments, the currents of affection between the two of them that Drew had thought he'd imagined—those had been real.

Andy made a strange noise, something that was not quite a laugh.

"Wow," Andy said. "We… we really fucked that one up."

And for once, Drew didn't pause to think or analyze or consider—he just leaned over, slid his hand around the back of Andy's neck, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Andy gasped in surprise against Drew's mouth, but his lips instantly parted, deepening the kiss. Andy's hands found Drew's shirt, fisting in the material and pulling him closer as they kissed, long and deep and urgent.

Finally, they pulled back for air.

"You're—you're leaving," Andy said, his brow still furrowed.

"Yeah," Drew said with a sad smile. "Yeah, I am. I… wanted you to know I think you're a catch, too."

Andy raised his eyebrow.

"One more time?" he said. "For old time's sake?"

Drew laughed.

"Here?" he asked, looking around at the rooftop. In response, Andy shifted so he was straddling Drew, pushing Drew down and laying on top of him.

"Why not?" Andy said, and Drew laughed, reaching up and guiding Andy's lips to his.

He remembered every one of the kisses they'd shared before this. The quick, sloppy peck on the lips while he was tucking drunk Andy into bed. Parted lips and searching tongues in the fading evening light of the evening, tucked away in the alley. Deep and surprisingly tender, full of need and apologies, as their bodies slid together in the shower. The surprising jolt of electricity when he'd kissed Andy in front of Max and Finn.

But this—this was different.

Because now there was nothing between them, no secret longing or misinterpretations. He'd loved Andy, and Andy had loved him, too. And as Andy bit Drew's lower lip and Drew deepened the kiss, he didn't even bother trying to hide how much he wanted Andy. Andy let out a surprised little moan against Drew's mouth as Drew grabbed Andy's hips, pulling their bodies closer together.

There was something sweet and desperate about the way they moved together, barely noticing the rough surface of the roof before them that scraped against Drew's back through the thin material of his shirt.

They were saying goodbye, Drew knew. As much as he loved Max and Finn and Andy, he knew that their friendships wouldn't be the same after they went all their separate ways, flung to different corners of the country. In his heart of hearts, Drew knew he wasn't much good at having friends—he'd never known how to make them or how to keep them. Once he was no longer living with them, he fully expected them to move on from him.

But he'd always carry them with him in his heart. And he hoped that, from time to time, they'd think of him as well.

So Drew made the best of the current moment—the soft warmth of the night, Andy's weight on top of him, the slightly wheat-y taste of beer on Andy's lips.

He was getting hard, and he could feel Andy was, too—Andy was grinding his cock against Drew's hip, his thigh rubbing against Drew's cock and sending spikes of heat through his body. Drew reached between them, sliding his hand down Andy's stomach—

And then Andy's phone started ringing, startling them both. Andy pulled back, his pupils blown wide, looking utterly disoriented as he pulled his phone out and checked who was calling.

"Tina?" he said as he answered, sitting up and back so he was straddling Drew's hips. Drew had to bite back a groan at the sensation of Andy's weight pressing down on his cock.

"Where are you fuckers?"

Tina's voice was so loud Drew could hear her clearly, and Andy winced, holding the phone a little further away from his ear.

"You better not be skipping the last crew party," Tina continued, in the cheerful, bossy tone that was so familiar to Drew.

"We're—uh—we're on our way," Andy stammered. "See ya soon." He hung up, still looking dazed.

"Shit," he said. "I forgot about the party."

"Me too," Drew said hoarsely. Andy smiled down at him weakly.

"I guess we can't exactly skip saying goodbye to everyone," he said.

"Yeah," Drew said, not bothering to keep the reluctance from his voice. "We… we should go."

They slowly stood up, brushing themselves off and righting their clothing. Drew's cock was still pulsing insistently, pressing uncomfortably against his jeans, and he firmly ordered his dick to knock it off, which had little effect.

At the window, before he shimmied through, Andy paused and turned back to Drew.

"I'm—I'm gonna miss you," Andy said, a sad, crooked smile on his face. Drew's heart swelled. This was Andy at his most… Andy. Sweet and open and honest.

The Andy Drew had fallen in love with, who'd broken Drew's heart without realizing it.

Whose heart Drew had broken, too.

Drew swallowed.

"Me too," he mumbled.

Andy raised his eyebrow.

"You're gonna miss you?"

Drew snorted and punched Andy in the arm. The moment was gone, but maybe that was for the best.

"Come on," he said. "Before Tina sends out a pack of hunting dogs to track us down."

And with that, they crawled through the window, leaving the roof and the city and that chapter of their lives behind.