CHAPTER 16
REID
THE rich scent of coffee and bacon woke Reid the next morning. He woke slowly, as was always the case, and stretched as he rolled over, dislodging the sheets tucked around him.
He and Harris had practically collapsed into bed after the party last night, both too bone-tired to do much more than fall immediately asleep. Not only had Reid executed and hosted the party last night, but the both of them had sent everybody home at nearly two in the morning, then spent the better part of the next hour cleaning up the dining room and bar of any leftover debris of which there had been a lot.
Reid had been grateful for Harris’ help last night. He easily could have been down there for more than two hours putting everything to rights himself. And now it seemed as though Harris was making breakfast.
Reid could get used to this.
He dismissed the thought before he could think too long and hard about it. He had been doing a pretty decent job of ignoring the fact that Harris’ departure date could only be growing closer. Harris had been pretty mum about the whole thing. With the resolution of Harris’ lawsuit and the subsequent job hunt Harris needed to focus on, it was a wonder he was still in town. When Reid had casually asked the question later on the day of Harris’ breakdown, Harris had been vague, saying something about Maggie needing to tie up loose ends and ordering him to stay put for the time being.
Reid found he liked not having a definitive end date to focus on. It made him focus more on the present than on the future.
As if on cue, Reid’s stomach rumbled, demanding to be fed. Reid rolled to a standing position and made his way to the bathroom.
When he made his way into the kitchen, he took a moment to stand and watch as Harris worked at the stove. A mixing bowl and an assortment of utensils stood at Harris’ elbow, along with a cutting board and knife. Reid noted the remains of some green onions and bell pepper, both of which he had been needing to use and hadn’t had a chance. Harris’ hips swayed as he danced to his own humming, though Reid couldn’t make out the tune. He felt himself thicken at the sight, wanting nothing more than to cross the kitchen, bend Harris over the counter and take.
The timer on the oven beeped, distracting Reid from his NC-17 rated thoughts. Harris quickly hit the button to silence, dancing around to grab a couple of potholders. Reid grinned as Harris caught sight of him and jumped a mile high, letting out a startled gasp.
“Fucking shit, Reid,” Harris snapped, waving one of the potholders in front of his face. “You do realize I have a repaired heart, not a perfect one.”
At the reminder, Reid blushed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have startled you. I was just admiring the view.”
Harris stared at Reid, his own smile slowly stretching over his face. Then he started again and turned to the oven with a curse. He opened it and pulled out the foil-covered baking sheet, rows of perfectly browned bacon lining it.
“Nice,” Reid praised, walking closer. “And are those omelets?”
“Yeah. Denver. Just finished them. My timing is impeccable.” Harris pulled one of the plates closer and scooped some bacon onto it. “I was going to bring it into the bedroom for you, but you beat me to it.”
Reid took the plate when Harris held it out to him. He then turned to the silverware drawer and pulled out a couple of forks. “I got your fork.”
They settled at the dining room table, which had seen more use over the last week than the entirety of the time Reid had owned it. Reid usually ate lunch and dinner at the restaurant if he was working and grabbed breakfasts on the go. But with Harris here, it made sense to spend as much time together as possible, and that included meals.
Harris dropped his plate off at the table and darted back to the coffee pot, taking down two mugs from the cupboard above. Reid watched as Harris doctored up their coffee, feeling his heart give an uncomfortable squeeze at the sight.
Harris must have been exhausted and maybe a little hungover after last night. The fact that he had willingly made breakfast for the both of them and wanted to serve it to Reid in bed warmed Reid to the core. He hadn’t ever been with anybody so caring and attentive before. And he knew whatever this was between them didn’t necessarily call for that kind of attentiveness, and that made everything Harris did all the sweeter.
“Thank you, Harris,” Reid said when Harris returned and passed him the mug. He hoped Harris could understand that his gratitude extended far beyond the preparation of a meal.
“You’re welcome,” Harris said with an easy smile, then picked up his fork and dug in.
This wasn’t the first time Harris had cooked breakfast or dinner for him. Everything he had made turned out to be delicious, and this meal was no exception.
“When did you learn to cook like this?” Reid asked. He had wanted to ask so many times before, but Harris had always been rambling on about something else, pulling Reid along in the conversation.
Harris looked at him and gave a shrug. “Our butler, Pierce, taught me when I was younger. Mom and Dad were gone a lot and never would have taken the time to teach me something like that. We always had money to afford someone to run the house like Pierce did.”
Reid’s heart cracked just a little bit more at that new information. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to be as alone as Harris had been throughout his childhood. Reid’s mother had taught him just about everything he knew, and he found a new healthy respect at just how much effort she had made to raise him right.
“But hey, it obviously worked out to my benefit, didn’t it?” Harris said with a lavish wink at Reid. “Impressed you, the owner of a restaurant. I’ll have to add that to my résumé.”
Reid rolled his eyes as he polished off the last of his omelet, refraining from saying the first thing that popped into his mind, which was that he wouldn’t know what to do for breakfasts when Harris wasn’t there anymore.
They finished breakfast quickly, giving each other highlights of the party last night that the other had missed. Reid told Harris that Grayson had made such a vile concoction for Sasha to drink that she dumped it over his head in retaliation. Harris had wheezed at that one, saying it served Grayson right. Harris also mentioned how the thought Jake might have gone home with a pretty girl last night, to which Reid raised an eyebrow and said he’d be glad to return the heckling he got for sleeping with Harris.
They cleaned up, Reid washing and Harris drying. And when Harris mentioned he wanted to take a shower and did Reid want to join him, Reid gave him a wicked grin and advanced on him.
Sensing danger, Harris backed himself up against the counter and shook his head, his eyes glinting with delight. Reid stepped up into Harris’ space, ducking his head to nuzzle against the spot where neck met ear, where Harris’ scent was strongest. He inhaled deeply, letting his hands find Harris’. He kissed Harris’ neck, giving tiny licks and nips, pressing his hips up against Harris growing erection. He growled at the sensation of Harris’ hard cock against his, moving Harris’ hands up to grip the edge of the counter.
Then Reid withdrew.
Harris made the prettiest noises when he wanted something, somewhere between a whimper and a whine. Those large brown eyes were made for begging and, not for the first time, Reid wondered what it would be like to make Harris truly beg for what he wanted. He had never found a partner willing to explore those desires with him before, but he felt Harris could have. If they only had more time.
Reid gave Harris a firm look, hoping Harris understood what Reid was truly asking for.
“Stay here. Don’t move.”
Harris’ eyes widened a fraction, comprehension dawning as he slowly nodded. “Yes, sir.”
The honorific sent a bolt of pleasure straight through Reid, making his cock jump up to attention. He wanted nothing more than to thrust himself against Harris, lose himself in him, but he knew if he started now, he wouldn’t be able to stop later.
Stepping back, Reid gave Harris one last look, one that wordlessly said to obey him, then left the kitchen. He raced down the hall and into the bedroom, grabbing the lube and condoms they would need.
When he came back into the kitchen, he paused at the entrance, committing the memory the picture that Harris made perched against the edge of his kitchen counter. His cock strained against the fabric of his boxer briefs, a little dark spot marking where he had been leaking. Reid licked his lips at the sight, wanting to taste him. Harris’ back was bowed, his abs tight and hard against the urge to move. To order Harris not to move was like asking him not to breathe. The man was in constant motion; it was his very nature. Reid’s gaze fell on Harris’ hands, which gripped the counter tight, knuckles white from the effort.
“Relax,” Reid said, watching as Harris slumped, his hands releasing the counter and head bowing.
“Fucking shit, Reid,” Harris said, panting as though he had run the Hood to Coast.
Reid made a mental note to explore more this side of things later, maybe even tonight. But for now, he just needed Harris.
“Come here,” Reid said, walking backwards into the dining room and placing the bottle and foil packets on one of the tables.
Harris’ eyes widened as he followed Reid into the dining room. “Reid. People eat here.”
Reid grinned, unapologetic. “I know. I’ll think of this moment every time I eat at this table.”
He hadn’t meant to get sappy or bring attention to the fact that Harris wouldn’t always be here, but it was too late now. Before Harris could say anything, before he could even deflate with the reality of their situation, Reid rushed forward and pulled Harris into his arms, lowering his mouth to Harris’.
He could taste the coffee, the bacon, and even a little onion from their omelets. But more importantly, he could taste Harris and lose himself for just a moment into the warmth that Harris provided. His hands traced down Harris’ arms. Reid linked their fingers together, bringing them up between them, pinning their hands between their chests. Then Reid let go and moved his hands further, tracing the ridges of Harris’ muscles, tugging just a little at the hair that trailed down, down, down. Harris hissed and thrust up against Reid at the sensation before Reid hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of Harris’ underwear and slid them down Harris’ thighs.
After Harris stepped out of the underwear, Reid gripped Harris’ thighs and hauled him up, pulling him close. He backed them up against the table, causing it to scrape against the linoleum floor beneath, then Reid reversed their positions.
Harris wrapped his legs around Reid’s waist, not letting him move more than an inch away. He rained kisses and suckles up and down Reid’s neck, taking extra care to lave Reid’s collarbones. He bit into Reid’s pecs, making Reid nearly whimper with desire.
Urgency unlike anything Reid had felt before swelled in him. He ached to fill Harris, to feel that heat closing around him as he thrust up into him. He wanted to see Harris come, to feel the man shudder and tense up all around him before going limp with release.
He needed Harris.
“Harris,” Reid moaned reverently, cupping Harris’ jaw with his hand, bringing his mouth up so Reid could claim it once more.
It took a little creative thinking, but Reid managed to slide his boxers off with Harris still clinging to him and grabbed the bottle of lube. Without warning, he coated his fingers and dipped them between Harris’ cheeks.
Harris went wild.
“Fuck, yes, Reid!” Harris thrust his hips upward, his cock bouncing against this abdomen. Reid pushed against Harris’ legs to step back, but Harris’ grip didn’t yield.
“Let go, Harris. Let me take care of you.”
Harris’ thighs relaxed, and Reid dove down to take Harris in his mouth.
Harris howled, his back bowing even as his hands flew back to brace himself against the surface of the table. Reid showed no mercy, sucking hard, tongue moving wickedly, his fingers pushing in and spreading Harris wide. He knew Harris could handle it. That Harris wanted it. The whimpers Harris let loose when Reid released his cock made him smile and hum with approval. He licked up Harris’ balls, nuzzling them, appreciating the hitch in Harris’ breathing before returning.
Harris’ taste filled him, precum spreading liberally over his tongue. He loved blowing Harris, could spend hours doing it and making the man writhe beneath him. Harris’ responses sent waves of contentment and awe through Reid, as though he couldn’t quite believe this man had let him in. Trusted him. Reid tried to show Harris through his actions just how much he meant to him, but the actions paled in comparison to the hot ache inside him.
“Reid, goddammit, I’m close. Hurry up!” Harris’ impatience was clear in his voice, making Reid grin as he withdrew.
“So impatient,” he murmured, his voice a low purr. He knew that drove Harris crazy. He had learned a lot of things over their time together. Sure enough, Harris shuddered and closed his eyes against another wave of pleasure, and Reid crooked his fingers up.
“Fuck!” Harris screamed. Reid hid his laugh in Harris’ thigh, wondering who was downstairs in the kitchen that might have heard that. “Right there, right there,” Harris panted.
Reid withdrew his fingers, earning a whimper. Then he shoved them back in, setting a brutal pace that made Harris moan and snap his hips up to meet them.
“You’re so goddamn pretty, Harris,” Reid said on a groan, reaching for the condoms and tearing one open with his teeth.
“Fuck me, please, Reid. Oh, hell,” Harris fell back against the table, already growing delirious with the ruthless pace Reid had set.
Withdrawing his fingers once again, Reid rolled the condom on and spread more lube on himself. Then he pulled Harris to his feet.
“Turn around,” he said, voice low and coaxing. Harris turned without question, presenting himself to Reid as he bent over the table, arms stretched forward. Harris moaned and thrust forward, his cock caught between his abs and the hard, unrelenting surface of the table.
Reid grabbed Harris’ hips and pulled him up and back. “Uh-uh. Not yet. My turn.” And with that, Reid aligned himself with Harris’ entrance and pushed.
What he hadn’t expected was for Harris to push his hips back hard and take Reid in one easy motion.
“God! Harris!” Reid’s grip tightened on Harris’ hips, and he held them both stock still. He clenched his teeth in an effort to not come in the next two seconds. He couldn’t believe just how well Harris could take him, as though he were made for him.
Reid’s heart lurched hard as he kissed up Harris’ back. He loved Harris, loved how Harris could make him lose control, could put him back together again. Loved that Harris remained optimistic around him, though he could see the sadness tugging at Harris at the reality of his leaving. He couldn’t not love Harris.
Reid wanted to confess it, to say the words that burned in his throat. But he didn’t. He choked them back, knowing that if they did escape, Harris would be gone before the words faded in the air.
“Come on, Reid. Fuck me before I get any older,” Harris tried to wiggle his hips back against Reid, and Reid laughed.
“You’re not old. Shut up.” But Reid moved.
He set a ruthless pace, wanting Harris to feel him for hours after. Harris had once told him that was his favorite, and Reid had only been too happy to oblige.
All too soon, Reid felt the hot ball of tension deep within him begin to tighten. He reached below Harris and took his cock in hand, stroking in time with his thrusts, biting at Harris’ shoulder.
“Reid,” Harris hissed, tensing against the onslaught. His back bowed up against Reid’s lips, and he cried out loud with his release.
Reid felt Harris spasm all around him, felt the man shudder in his arms, felt the rush of hot liquid on his hand as it splashed against the table. Oh, that was going to be a great memory. It all became too much for Reid, and he let the rush consume him, pumping Harris full.
They lay there for long moments, both catching their breath. It was Harris who spoke first, unable to keep silent for very long.
“Fucking shit, Reid. What took over you?” Harris asked, awe coloring his voice.
Reid felt that familiar heat creep up his neck and face and laughed nervously. “I don’t really know,” he lied, nuzzling his face into Harris’ back.
He knew damn well what had come over him.
Gradually, they righted themselves. Reid looked his fill at the mess Harris made on his table. Harris laughed even as he walked into the kitchen to grab some cleaning wipes.
“You’re a sexual deviant,” Harris said with a grin. “Wish I had found that out weeks ago.”
Reid didn’t think the blush would ever go away.
They lingered in the shower, washing each other’s hair and bodies, taking time with each other. Reid found himself responding to Harris’ touch, to which Harris laughed and made him promise to save it for later.
Reid’s phone was ringing as they exited the shower, and Reid rushed over to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Reid Colburn?” a gruff voice full of command asked.
Reid straightened, a rock settling in the pit of his stomach. “Speaking. How can I help you?”
“This is Lieutenant Commander Philip Stokes of the U.S. Army. I’m calling regarding Lincoln James Holt. He has you as his emergency point of contact.”
Reid’s eyes met Harris’, fear shooting straight through him. Without a word, Harris dropped the clothes he had been holding onto the bed and walked over to Reid, slipping their hands together and gripping Reid’s hard. Reid held on, the lifeline he needed.
“Is Lincoln alright?” he heard himself ask, voice impossibly calm.
“I’m afraid not. He’s alive, so he’s got that going for him. He was hit with an IED on his last mission, shattered his left leg. We medevac’d him out, and he’s heading to Germany to undergo surgery to try and save the limb.”
Reid’s air left him, and he began to sink. Harris wrapped a strong arm around him and guided him to the edge of the bed, where Reid collapsed against it.
“When will they know?” he asked, swallowing hard.
“Hard to say, son. But we’re doing everything we can.”
Reid nodded before he realized the lieutenant couldn’t see him. “When do you think he’ll be on his way home?” Reid asked.
“It’s hard to say, but maybe a week. We’ll take care of him the best we can here, but once he’s healing, it’s best if he’s home. He’ll be honorably discharged, with more metal than he’ll have in his leg decorating his chest. He saved a lot of lives, sacrificed a lot. You should be proud of him. Best damn sergeant I’ve had in a long time. I’m sad to see it end this way.”
“Me, too,” Reid whispered, then cleared his throat. “Thank you for calling.”
“We’ll be in touch, Mr. Colburn.” The line went dead.
“Holy shit, Reid. What happened?” Harris leaned his head against Reid’s shoulder, offering as much comfort as he could.
“Linc –” Tears choked him, burning behind his eyes. He forced a breath in to help stave them off. He could cry later. He had things to take care of, to prepare before Lincoln’s return. “He was injured pretty bad. They’re trying to save his left leg right now. Flying him to Germany. Then he’s coming home.”
“Wow,” Harris whispered. “What can I do? What do you need?”
“This,” Reid said, shifting and bringing his arms up around Harris. The ice that had formed in his chest at the news thawed. Reid was grateful for Harris and his comfort, the fact that when bad things happened, Harris’ first response was to offer any help he could. “I just need to hold you for a minute.”
They held each other tightly as Reid processed what had happened. He wanted to yell, scream at the universe for hurting his best friend. Irrationally, he wanted to hop on the first plane to Germany and be there for the surgery and to take Lincoln home himself. He channeled all those impulses into hugging Harris, burying his nose in Harris’ freshly washed hair. The scent of his own shampoo in Harris’ hair soothed him, and he never wanted to let go.
Feeling stronger, more put together, Reid began to withdraw. He kissed the top of Harris’ head and whispered, “Thank you.” And because he couldn’t hold it in one moment longer. “I love you.”
He felt Harris stiffen against him, even as he stiffened. Hearing those words out in the open made it all seem so much more real. And he knew, he knew he had just fucked everything up.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, trying to smooth it over. “I know. It’s stupid; it’s impossible. But…” his voice trailed off, and he shrugged.
Harris pulled away, his face frustratingly blank as he looked up at Reid. “You’ve just received traumatic news. I get it.”
Reid shook his head, frowning. “No, that’s not…” Then he realized what Harris was doing. He was giving him an out.
Deflated, Reid nodded, going along with it. Because he was a coward, but he wanted Harris to stay more. It didn’t matter how he felt; it only mattered if Harris would stay just a little bit longer.
“I’ve got to get things prepared for Linc’s return,” Reid said, addressing the floor. He felt the bed shift as Harris stood.
They didn’t speak as they dressed, the weight of what had just happened falling heavily on their shoulders. As Harris grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, Reid rushed to follow, reaching out for Harris’ hand to stop him.
“Harris,” Reid began, at a loss for what to say. He wanted to beg Harris not to leave. He knew he was being selfish, that he should let Harris leave and process what had just been said. Instead, he sighed and gave Harris what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “I’ll see you later?”
In response, Harris leaned forward and pressed a warm, gentle kiss on his lips. Reid didn’t know why, but the gesture brought tears to his eyes.
Then Harris was gone, the door snicking shut behind him.
And Reid’s heart cracked completely in two.