Dixie
I was surprised that I was up and ready to go before Church the next morning. I’d felt him leave the bed sometime last night but hadn’t awoken when he returned. It was the best feeling in the world to wake up sheltered in his arms, wrapped up in his strength like he didn’t have any intention of letting me go. The feeling was quickly chased away by the disappointment that all too soon he wasn’t going to simply let me go, he was going to push me away.
Not wanting to wake him I took my time sliding out of his grasp and almost couldn’t make a clean escape because the more I moved the more his hand tangled in my hair where it was caught. He mumbled something in his sleep and eventually rolled to his side, his normally fierce expression softened in sleep and making him look almost approachable … almost.
I snagged a pair of jeans and a tank top from my meager wardrobe and tiptoed into the bathroom to get dressed and tame my hair for the day. I could hear the other Churchill men up and about when I was done brushing my teeth, so I wandered into the kitchen, where the sounds of masculine chatter and early morning preparations for the day were coming from. Jules was at the stove flipping pancakes and telling a sullen-looking Dalen that there was no time like the present for him to learn that actions, no matter how insignificant they may seem, all had consequences. Dalen was grumbling under his breath about how the game this weekend was vital to the team, and Jules flatly informed him that next time he decided to skip school he might want to consider who else he would be letting down if he got caught breaking the rules.
I took a seat at the counter on one of the high-backed stools next to Church’s younger brother and gave him a sympathetic look. His eyes were a startling shade of purple with a halo of yellow and green on the outside. The cut in his lip had scabbed over but the skin around it was still red and angry-looking. The scrape on the side of his head looked sore and the bandage he had slapped over it was doing little to camouflage the damage. I bumped his shoulder with my own and gave him an “Ouch.”
He returned with a lopsided grin that made him wince. “Yeah. Getting out of bed this morning wasn’t any fun, but Dad is still insisting we meet with the coach and the principal.” He narrowed his eyes at his dad’s back and pouted with pure teenaged ire.
It made me laugh and had Jules turning to look at me over his shoulder with a knowing grin. “Dash said you aren’t typically an early riser, so I only made enough for the human garbage disposal sitting next to you, but I can whip up a couple more if you’re hungry.”
I shook my head but gladly took the mug of coffee Dalen poured for me and pushed my way. “I think I’ll go and see if Elma needs help with breakfast. She has her first physical therapy session today, and I want to be around for moral support.”
Dalen lifted an eyebrow at me and then groaned when the action pulled at his bruised face. “You’re like a cheerleader for things that happen in real life.”
My lips twitched as I lifted the mug up and took a sip. “Sometimes the day-to-day things are the hardest. We take being able to do them without struggle for granted. I’m happy to offer a little bit of encouragement when it’s needed.”
Jules turned around and placed a stack of pancakes in front of Dalen that had my jaw dropping open. It looked like something that would be on one of those outrageous eating competition shows but Dalen dug in like this was an everyday occurrence and not a meal fit to feed the entire offensive line of the Denver Broncos.
“I’m sure Elma will appreciate the company, but you should wait until Dash is awake to take you over there. He gave me a heads-up that your recent troubles might be an overly amorous suitor. I put calls in to see what we have on them in the system, but until we hear back, you should probably avoid being out in the wild alone.”
I stiffened and looked at him over the top of the coffee. “Okay.”
Jules nodded and lifted his hands so that he could smooth his fingers over either side of his goatee. “Elma’s had a pretty rough go of it here the last few weeks and she was looking at a long road to recovery. I hate to ask, but if you can avoid mentioning that things are a little bit unpredictable right now I would appreciate it. She spent the last ten years worrying herself sick over my stubborn son, I’d like her to be able to focus on getting better and not the fact trouble followed the boy home.”
I set the coffee mug down on the counter and rested my chin in the hand of the arm that had my elbow propped up on the surface. “I won’t go into details but she’s sharp as a tack. She told me yesterday that she knew something wasn’t right and she saw Dalen’s face last night. It’s pretty obvious things haven’t been smooth sailing since Church and I got to town.”
“She’d be fit to be tied if she knew someone was after you and that they were willing to hurt my boys to get at you. She’s wanted Dash home since the minute he left. She’s also wanted that boy to find his happy since we lost his mom and let’s be honest, Curly Sue, you’re probably the best shot he’s got at it.”
I blinked at the older man and had to take a second to find my breath. I wanted to be Church’s happy forever, not just his happy for now, but he hadn’t given me a single sign he was on the same page as I was. “Well, he deserves some happiness, you all do, after everything you’ve been through. I’m glad I can give him a little bit of it while we’re together.”
Jules braced himself on the counter across from me with his arms crossed against his uniformed chest. His dark eyebrows quirked upwards and his mouth tugged into that grin that had to break hearts from miles away. “I think it’s easy for folks to forget that sometimes it’s far harder to have a smile ready than it is to find a frown. You should find your happy, too, Dixie girl.”
The man was far too perceptive for my own good. “I am happy.” And I was most days. It was the days when I got swallowed up by everyone else’s wants and needs and forgot to focus on my own that I felt like I was missing out on a little something. I was a caretaker by nature, but the care I allowed for myself often paled in comparison to that which I offered others. “I have a lot to be thankful for and I get to have a hand in making sure that the people I care the most about are living their best lives. There isn’t much more to happiness for me than that.” Sure, I would be elated to finally have the dreams I’d been hoarding for a lifetime come true but just like I couldn’t be Church’s reason to find his happy, I couldn’t hold him accountable for mine. I was going to have to go out and live my best life without him, even if I wasn’t sure that was possible. Even before we were romantically involved my heart had beat stronger, my soul had shined brighter, and my life had been more full and interesting simply by having him in it. Once he was gone I knew there were going to be a lot of stormy days in my future but the truth was the rain was never able to stop the sun from shining for very long.
“Enough of this boring grown-up talk. I’m going to have to sit through hours of lectures and real talk once the coach gets his hands on me. Can we go so I can get it over with?”
Dalen’s surly tone broke the somber mood between his father and me, so it seemed like a perfect way to end the conversation. I grabbed my phone and some shoes from the bedroom, surprised Church was still out like a light. I was leaning over to give him a kiss on that tempting mouth when his eyes popped open and I found myself lost in a swirling labyrinth of color and confusion. Those eyes weren’t dark and haunted first thing in the morning. They blazed with a million emotions I couldn’t name and a few that I wanted so desperately to be something he hadn’t even hinted at.
“Mornin’.” His eyelids fluttered slightly and all the muscles in his chest stretched and flexed as he lifted his arms above his head. The sight made my mouth water and had me pondering putting our visit to Elma Mae on the back burner when Church’s phone rang from somewhere off to the side of the bed.
I lowered my lips to his shoulder as he swiped the screen and put the device to his ear. I let my fingers trip and tickle across his smooth skin with a grin as he lifted an eyebrow and gave me a warning look. I had my mind on payback until he stiffened and reached up a hand to push my hair off my face with a shake of his head.
“Is she okay?” I went still at his question and frowned as a serious look pulled tight across his features. “Give us five minutes and we’ll be over.”
He tossed the phone onto the bed and swung his long legs over the side. “Is everything okay?”
He looked down at me as he snatched up a pair of jeans and shoved his long legs into them. “That was Elma’s home care nurse. Apparently she fell this morning in the bathroom. She’s refusing to go back to the doctor. The nurse asked me to come over and talk to her.”
“Oh no.” The words whispered worriedly between us. I was worried about Elma, but in all honesty I was more worried about Church. He wouldn’t take something happening to the older woman well. He would see it as more evidence that every time he let someone get close, something bad worked its way in to harm them. “Well, I’m the new guy, so I have no problem going head to head with her if it’s for her own good.” I could do tough love for the cause because it was still love and that was sort of my specialty.
“The nurse said she’s in a mood, so you can stay here if you want. I got this.”
I reached out a hand and put it on the center of his back as he sat down on the edge of the bed in order to tug his boots on. “I know you have this, but I’m here and I want to help you with it.”
He looked at me over his shoulder and the corners of his lips twitched as he reached around to snag my wrist so that he could pull me flush against his warm skin. “Always trying to fix everything, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
I gulped a little and kissed his shoulder again. “I mean, I have to try.”
“No, you don’t, but you always do. That makes you something pretty special, Dixie.” He let me go and bent over so he could snag a shirt off the floor. “You can come with me, but Elma is stubborn, so if she’s in a mood I might have to pick her up and put her in the car and force her to go see the doctor if she’s hurt.”
I cleared my throat and slid off the bed. “You’ll take care of her. That’s what you do, and that’s what makes you special, Church.”
We walked up the block and around the corner hand in hand. We didn’t say much, but he never did and the fact he had his fingers wrapped around mine felt like it said a whole lot more than words would anyways.
His eyes never stopped shifting over the area around us. There were obvious lines of tension in the set of his shoulders and in the turn of his mouth. It was like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, or for whoever had been terrorizing us since we left Denver to jump out of one of the perfectly maintained rose bushes that lined the neighbor’s yard. His alertness made me anxious and had me craning my neck to make sure danger wasn’t lurking as we rounded the corner and started up Elma’s driveway.
The nurse’s plain economy car was parked in front and the big white door leading into the home was open. The screen door was still shut and the sound of Elma’s TV could be heard well before we reached the porch. I went to run up the stairs like I always did, but Church threw out a hand and gently shoved me behind him as he took the steps one at a time. He was always doing that. He put me first in bed. He put me first when it came to the idea and thought of me getting what he thought I justly deserved. He put me first when it came to my comfort and well-being, and he put me first when it came to my safety and security by putting himself between me and whatever line of fire might be in front of us. I could take care of myself, but around him I didn’t have to, because he always stepped up to take care of me. Somewhere along the line on this wacky journey he’d convinced me to take with him, his need to protect and defend felt less like an obligation and more like an honor that he was more than happy to have the responsibility for.
He rapped his knuckles on the frame of the screen and called Elma’s name. There wasn’t a response for a long minute, which made him frown. “Do you think she can’t hear me over the TV?”
I shrugged and reached around him to tug open the door. “She might be in a lot of pain if she fell hard. Her nurse probably gave her some medication to help with that. Maybe it finally kicked in and she’s down for the count. That will make kidnapping her and hauling her back to the hospital easier if that’s the route you decide to go with.”
He gave me a narrow-eyed look as he pushed into the house, me close on his heels. “Not funny, pretty girl.”
It wasn’t. But I hated the idea of Elma hurting as much as I hated the idea of him hurting because someone else he cared about had fallen to that bad that hung around, heavy and dark like a stormy day.
I was opening my mouth to shout for the nurse when suddenly there was a crack that sounded like a thousand firecrackers going off. One second I was standing behind Church in the entrance of Elma’s stately and romantic house and the next I was being shoved bodily through the screen door without it being opened. Another crack ripped through the air and I heard him swear as he pushed my head down and continued to shove me through mesh and out of the house.
I heard him grunt in pain and swear as he yelled at me to run, his hands hard on my shoulders as he kept pushing me farther and farther away from the deafening pops and pings that I belatedly realized were gunshots.
I tumbled and landed on my hands and knees at the bottom of the porch steps. The gravel of the driveway slit the skin of my hands open as I screamed at Church when I realized he was still standing on the porch. He had one hand wrapped around the opposite bicep as crimson oozed fast and thick through his fingers.
“What …” I didn’t even get the rest of the question out before Church fell back a step as the tattered and torn screen door was kicked open and a squirming, swearing Elma Mae was wrenched through it, clasped in the arms of a man that I recognized immediately. He looked different. Insanity and fury did that to a man. It twisted features and erased any traces of humanity that might have been there before.
Elma had a nasty-looking black eye that she hadn’t the day before, and it was clear she’d been fighting for a while but her already damaged and frail body was no match for the irrational strength that came with crazy.
Joseph had a small black pistol in his hand and it was aimed right at the center of Church’s chest. Even with the distance separating us I could see his finger twitch on the trigger as he grappled with the white-haired Tasmanian devil in his grasp.
“He hurt Dharma.” Elma’s voice broke as she spoke to Church. “He made her call you and then he hit her in the head with his gun. She’s bleeding, bad.” Elma sounded as angry as Joseph looked as his wild-eyed gaze shifted between the two of us.
“She was supposed to tell you to come alone. She didn’t. She was supposed to tell you the old bitch didn’t want Dixie here. She didn’t do that either.” His gaze drifted past Church and landed on me. “I need you out of the way. You’re standing between me and what’s rightfully mine.”
“The fuck!” Church growled the words and went to take a step forward but the gun wavered and switched from being pointed right at him to resting threateningly against Elma’s temple. That had Church going stone still and the older woman’s eyes popping open wide. I sucked in a shaky breath and climbed to my feet. I wiped my bleeding palms on my jeans and cleared my throat so that Joseph’s attention would shift to me and off the two people standing between us.
“This is a bad idea, Joe.” I hoped keeping my tone calm and using the name I used when I thought I was chatting him up online would lower his guard and make him more susceptible to suggestion. “Someone is going to report those gunshots. Church’s dad is a cop. Elma Mae is their family. This is not going to end well for you.”
“It’s not going to end well for them!” His voice was shrill and the gun pressed harder into Elma’s temple. She cried out in pain and Church couldn’t stop himself from taking another step forward. The gun jerked away from Elma’s head and once again ended up pointed right at Church. “Someone is always standing in the way of what I want. Someone is always getting what should be mine. At work, at home, I’m always coming in second best. Except with you, Dixie. You were the only one that saw how special I could be, how great I could be. You saw the best in me. I just needed a chance.” The gun wavered a little and I screamed as I saw his finger move on the trigger.
The gunshot was louder now without the walls of the house to muffle it but nothing was as loud as the scream that ripped out of me as the bullet hit its target and sent Church to his knees in front of me. Elma Mae shrieked just as loudly as I did but her sound was cut off as she was flung to the side, collapsing in the same position I had as I hit the ground. Joseph stalked to where Church was still kneeling, blood now flowing freely down his arm and soaking into his shirt as his big body listed to the side. He lifted a hand to his shoulder and I could see him tilt his head back so that he was looking Joseph in the eyes as the other man loomed over him, the gun now focused right in Church’s face.
“You’re in the way of what I want. She was nice to me. She was sweet to me. She liked me and then you showed up and took her away.”
That wasn’t exactly how it all went down, but I didn’t think there was going to be a lot of reasoning with him. “If you keep hurting Church and the other people I care about I’m not going to be nice anymore, Joseph. This has to stop.”
His gaze shifted from Church, who was growling low in his throat and breathing hard. He was hurt, but he was also pissed off. I could practically see the wheels turning in his handsome head. He was going to take this all on himself. He was going to think that we were just getting good, and bad had wasted no time getting between us. He was going to think this was his bad even though it was clear it was all mine.
“I just want things to go my way one time. I want to be a winner for once.” He sounded whiny and pitiful, which was totally at odds with the firearm pointed at the man I loved.
I sucked in a breath so hard that it whistled between my teeth. I put my raw hand to my throat and did what I always did … I tried to fix things.
“Leave Elma and Church alone and I’ll go with you wherever you want, Joe.”
Church’s head whipped around so fast I was pretty sure he was going to get whiplash. “You aren’t going any, fucking, where, Dixie.” The words were bit out and filled with fury.
I refused to look at him because that was a lot of anger and a lot of frustrated man between me and my objective. I knew he would hate it, but I didn’t see any other option. He was shot and Elma was hurt. I didn’t know if anyone had called the police and I refused to be the reason anyone I loved was hurt.
Joseph tilted his head and considered me. “They’re going to come after us.”
That was the sanest thing he’d said since the first gunshot was fired. I put my hands up in front of me and prayed my voice didn’t shake the way the rest of me was. “I’ll tell them I left with you. I’ll tell them I picked you.”
His wild eyes widened even more and he looked down at Elma, who was growing increasingly pale. “I hurt people. They won’t like it.” He sounded like a toddler and I assumed the “they” he was referring to was the police.
“I’ll tell them it was all Church. I’ll tell them he tried to take me from you and I didn’t want to go. I’ll tell them you hurt people protecting me.” I sounded desperate and frantic, because I was. Church’s eyes shot daggers of warning at me. I could feel them prick my skin and stab into my soul but I refused to look at him. I didn’t want to lose Joseph’s attention.
He considered me for a second and cocked his head to the side before stating, “That might work.”
I exhaled slowly and told myself to stay steady. I could do this. I could fix it. “It’ll work, but you have to trust me and we have to go, right now.” The gun wobbled a little and his eyes shifted back to Church and then slid over to Elma.
“They’ll be able to tell the truth.” Shit! He had far better reasoning skills than I expected for a lunatic.
“But they won’t. They just want me to be happy and if you leave with me then I’ll be happy.”
“Dixie.” My name had never held so much meaning as it did when it was ripped out of Church’s broad and bleeding chest. He would die before he let me go and it was my job to keep him alive at all costs.
“Joe, Church and I aren’t real. This is all just a fantasy. He was never in your way. He told his family that the reason he couldn’t go home was because of a girl. It was a lie, and when he had to come home he asked me to pretend to be that girl. He’ll let me go because I’m not his to hold on to.” I’d told Church I didn’t want him to be a liar and here I was spinning falsehood upon falsehood.
Joseph continued to look at Church and at Elma but somewhere in the distance sirens started to wail, indicating that someone had reported the gunshots. We were running out of time and apparently my psycho online date knew it. “You’re gonna go with me.” He said it instead of asking it and instead of trying to get through Church to get to me he walked over by where Elma was still lying unmoving and crumpled on the ground and vaulted over the railing on the porch, which landed him in Elma’s flowers. She was going to be good and pissed when she could do something about that but at the moment all she could do was weakly lift her head and look at me with pleading eyes.
Joseph was at my side in an instant. His hand was clammy and shaking as it wrapped around my elbow. The gun in his hand dug into my side as he shoved me towards the sedan in the driveway. Once I got closer I realized the keys were in the ignition and the driver’s door was still slightly ajar. He’d grabbed the nurse when she’d been either coming or going and used her as leverage to get into Elma’s home. He was going to shoot Church as soon as he opened the door, but the man was a terrible shot. Something I hoped would work in my soldier’s favor.
“You drive.” He put a hand on my head and tried to shove me into the car. With his hand on the top of my head and sirens screaming as they got closer and closer I let my eyes meet Church’s as he lumbered to his feet and started towards the car.
“Hey, Church.” I whispered the words, not sure that he would hear them over the pounding of my heart and across the distance that separated us. “You know I love you, right?” I’d never tried to hide it but I had to tell him if this was the only chance I was going to get.
“You don’t get to do that, Dixie. You don’t get to give me that when you’re risking your neck like a little fool and telling lies.” He sounded so angry and so hurt that it hurt worse than the crack of the gun across the top of my head as Joseph freaked out at my words and hit me.
I let out a strangled laugh and closed my eyes briefly. “You’ve always had it. I gave it to you forever ago. You just didn’t know it.”
“Get in the car, Dixie.” I did as I was told and folded into the seat. The car was a few years old and needed an oil change but it started right up. I pulled out of the driveway, watching Church with wide eyes the entire time.
Alone in the car with the only person I’d ever met who actually wanted to harm me, I told him exactly what was on my mind. I felt like there wasn’t much left to lose.
“Your mom was overbearing and has obvious control issues. If you want to meet a girl and have something special, I would suggest you leave her at home next time.” I cut him a look from the corner of my eye and noticed that he was turning an alarming shade of red. His cheeks were billowing in and out like he was having trouble catching his breath.
“She yelled at me.” The gun swung in an arc and ended up pointed at the side of my head. “She hit me … she always hits. Ever since I was little. She told me I would never be a man, that I would never have what it took to satisfy a woman. She burned me with an iron.” He pulled up the sleeve of his arm and showed me a nasty burn that looked like it was still healing. “Then she told me I was worthless and that I would never give her grandchildren.” He started to laugh. Hysterical, shrill peals of laughter that hurt my ears and made my skin crawl. “Well, I finally had enough. I finally fought back. So you don’t have to worry about Mother or her hurting our children anymore. She got what she deserved.”
I cringed and swallowed back a scream. He’d tried to hire someone to kill Church, so I shouldn’t be surprised that he was capable of taking a life and sounding so cavalier about it. What really had my skin tightening and my brain buzzing was the fact that he was talking about me being the mother of his children. That didn’t bode well for me and whatever future plans he had in mind.
I blew out a breath and lifted my eyes to the rearview mirror. I had to trap a shout behind clamped-down lips. Then out of nowhere a white car with twirling red and blue lights was trailing behind us, dropping in and out of sight, but there nonetheless. I’d tried to sacrifice myself for the greater good, but the greater good wasn’t going to let me go that easily. I couldn’t stem the flow of tears that spilled over my lashes and ran freely down my face.
“I’m a nice person, Joseph. I like everyone I encounter and chances are if you had asked I would have gone on a second date with you because I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Don’t do something you can’t take back.” Don’t kill me like you killed your mother. Don’t hurt me like you hurt Elma and her nurse. Don’t shoot me like you shot Church. I couldn’t even get my head around the thought and my heart refused to believe that fate would force Church to attend another funeral of a woman that mattered to him. Nothing in this life could be that cruel.
My captor’s eyes went flat. There was no emotion. No regret or fear. There was nothing there but chilling intent and cold-blooded resolve. “I don’t regret anything. You’re the one, Dixie.”
A broken laugh burst out of me as I lifted my hand to wipe my face. All I did was smear moisture around and show Joseph how badly I was shaking.
I’d always wanted to be the one. It was my one wish. It looked like I should have been more specific when I was tossing my pennies into the well. I wanted to be the one for the person that was the one for me, not for a lunatic with mayhem and murder on his mind.
If I made it out of this alive there was no way I was going to let the man that was my one get away or let him send me away.