I knew two things for sure as I listened to Church talk dirty to me through the phone that was pressed tightly against my ear.
One was that his voice in all its raspy southern sexiness was enough to get me off. I barely felt the low hum and vibration coming from the battery-operated device that was a sad substitution for the real thing and was currently circling my clit and driving me crazy.
The second thing I knew without a doubt was that long-distance relationships sucked and I wasn’t cut out for distance making my heart grow fonder. The space between us was making me cranky and had my typically sunny disposition all kinds of gloomy and gray. I missed him and as close to the edge of orgasm as I was barely a couple of minutes into his filthy words and husky encouragement, it was obvious my body missed him just as much as my heart did.
“Be sure you pack your little friend when you start throwing things in boxes.” He chuckled as I gasped my way through a full-body shudder. The vibrator was good, but he was better and I was starting to resent that every quiver of pleasure, every quake of desire hinged on his words and the brush of his rough words against my ear. “Next time we’re together I’ll put it to good use. I’ve been thinking up lots of new ways to get you off. Think you can handle real me and plastic me at the same time? I bet you can. I bet you’re drenched with the thought of giving me that cute, freckled ass while that toy fills you up and buzzes against your clit.” His voice dropped and it was obvious the words meant to entice me had a pretty powerful effect on him as well.
I choked on a laugh and tossed my head back on the pillows as my toes curled and my legs tensed as pleasure unfurled slow and steady throughout my blood. It wasn’t the same kind of mind-melting, body-bending orgasm I had with him buried deep inside of me, but it would hold me over until I got the real thing.
“Promises, promises. You have a lot of them stored up to make good on the next time I see you, soldier.” It had been two months and we had one more to go before I was throwing everything I owned into a U-Haul and heading back to Lowry. I flew in to see him one weekend each month, but that hadn’t been enough. One thing the distance had shown us was that we were far happier when we were together than we were when we were apart no matter where we decided to call home.
“I should have made you FaceTime me.” There was a grunt on the other end of the phone and my breath quickened as I imagined the look on his face as his fist pumped up and down the strong, thick column of his cock. I could see the heavy muscles of his chest rising and falling. I could see his massive thighs tensing, one leg bent so that I would have the perfect view of all his impressive masculinity. I could almost feel the delineation between each carved ab muscle and the flex in the defined V that arrowed down on either of his sides.
“Your voice works wonders. It gives good sex,” I purred into the phone and heard him pant as he got closer to his own completion.
“Yeah, but I like your face. I like to see that soft smile you get when you come. I like the way your eyes go out of focus and the way your cheeks get pink. It makes your freckles stand out and that gets me off, every, single, time.”
I sighed and reached up to twist a sweaty curl around my finger. “You know what else gets you off?” He grunted and I could hear the sound of flesh against flesh. It had my already sensitized sex doing a lazy little clench and release of appreciation. “When the tip of your cock hits the back of my throat. When I suck you back as far as you can go and look up at you in awe because there is still so much of you that doesn’t fit. When I trace the tip with my tongue and hold your balls in my hand. When I hum because I like the way you taste and feel in my mouth. That always gets you off.”
“Fuck me.” I was more than ready to. Stupid miles and miles between us.
He panted his way through his own orgasm, threw in some dirty words for good measure, and once he caught his breath he grumbled, “I would give up my bike right now to finish inside you, hell, I’d even take coming on you at this point. I’ve been wanting my cock between those pretty tits for a long time. Anything would be better than my hand and making a mess on my stomach.” I heard sheets rustling as he moved around to clean up. I didn’t tell him that I had no problem watching him finish all over himself, it was hot. But I had to agree finishing together was a thousand times more satisfying.
“It won’t be much longer. Speaking of which, how is the training going?” He’d decided to take Jules’s suggestion and go through Mississippi State testing so that he could join the sheriff’s office and work with his dad. The three months we were spending apart was not only so I could get things settled and squared away in Denver but so he could focus on the training and his future in law enforcement with the minimum of distractions. The job opportunity was only one of the reasons that I ultimately decided it made more sense for us to look at building a life in Lowry instead of Denver. As feisty and fierce as she was, Elma Mae wasn’t getting any younger and I didn’t want to take Church away from whatever time he had left with her considering the years he had squandered. He might be willing to drop everything and be where I wanted to be, but what I really wanted was to be there for him as he made things right with the people that he loved.
Plus I liked Lowry. I liked the slower pace of things and the laid-back vibe, especially since Kallie had finally come clean and told my parents the wedding was off. She refused to tell them why and as a result Wheeler was persona non grata in the Carmichael home due to my parents’ belief that it had been something he’d done, that he was the one at fault for everything falling apart. I begged Kallie to come clean, to tell my parents and Wheeler the truth about why she was willing to lose everything but she refused. So everything was a mess that I felt caught in the middle of and I’d made the decision that Church was right, none of it was mine to worry about, not my circus and not my clowns. What was mine needed to be back home making amends.
Frankly I couldn’t wait to watch Dalen play football and to help Elma make cookies. Church had already found an adorable home similar to Jules’s in a neighborhood close by to rent. He told me I was in charge of making it a home because he didn’t have a clue what that meant. His only requirements were a garage for the Harley, a big TV and a comfortable couch in front of it, and of course a big-ass bed with me in it. I could give him all those things and I was dying to do so.
“Training is fine. I guess it’s like riding a bike, you never forget the basics no matter what they apply to.”
“I think it’s more likely that some men were born to protect and serve others and you happen to be one of them. It doesn’t seem hard because it was what you were meant to do.”
He snorted. “You always think the best of everyone, me included.” There was a long pause and then he sighed. “Don’t ever stop doing that. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
I laughed a little and got up when I heard Dolly making noise in the living room. She had no use for me when I was a puddle of goo after Church talked me into a bone-melting climax.
“I’ve always seen your best and now everyone else can, too. You aren’t trying so hard to hide it anymore.” Dolly started barking and prancing around the door as someone used a heavy hand to pound on the wooden surface. “Hey, I have to go, someone is at the door.” I pulled on a long T-shirt that had a fox on it and the words “No Fox Given” scrawled around it and a pair of yoga shorts and willed my still-rubbery legs to find some strength.
“What? It’s after midnight there, why is someone at your door this late?” I smiled as all his alpha protective instincts fired up. He wasn’t around to keep an eye on me and he hated it. Something I knew for a fact since Rome had been hovering like a mother hen. I finally asked him to back off and he sheepishly shrugged and told me when a brother in arms asked you to keep an eye on his girl when he couldn’t that’s what you did. Then he hugged me until I thought my ribs were going to crack and told me that there was no one that was ever going to be able to replace me. I knew he meant I would leave a void in more than just the bar and it made me want to cry.
“I don’t know, but if you quit barking at me I’ll go find out.” I had a pretty good idea who it was as lately both my sister and Wheeler had the annoying habit of popping by when they weren’t expected, each to bitch about the other and the tension their split had caused in the family and between their friends. Canceling the wedding should have been the end of it but it turned out when you broke up with someone you had been with for so long untangling the ties that bound your lives together was quite a tricky feat.
“Don’t open the door until you know who it is.” He snapped the order at me over my sigh.
I petted Dolly on the head and shushed her and drily replied, “I can adult, Church.” I looked through the peephole and wasn’t all that surprised to see a familiar tattooed form on the other side. “It’s Wheeler. I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow.”
He grunted. “I love you, too, and tomorrow we FaceTime.”
“Goodie.” I made a smacking kiss noise and hung up the call as I pulled open the door. Dolly did her typical overenthusiastic greeting but Wheeler walked in and immediately launched into a tirade without even acknowledging the poor pooch.
“Did you know? Did Kallie tell you? And if you did know how could you not tell me? This is getting insane, Dixie.”
He ripped off the red ball cap he had on his head and ran his hands through his hair. His blue eyes were alight with fire and there was an angry flush staining his neck beneath the ink that lived there. I’d never seen him this keyed up before and I couldn’t believe this was his reaction to finding out that Kallie was a lesbian or at least curious enough about the same sex to be bisexual.
I closed the door and leaned my back against it. I held up a hand in front of me and gave him a pointed look. “First of all it’s not my place to share news like that with anyone. It’s Kallie’s life and she’s the one that has to be held accountable for her choices. This isn’t the end of the world, Wheeler.”
He threw his hands up in the air and let them fall. “How can you say that? This changes everything, and it’s not just her choices at play here.”
I scowled at him and crossed my arms over my chest, starting to get a little defensive on my sister’s behalf. “Sometimes things happen. They hurt the people we care about, but we can’t control them. You can’t be mad at her for being who she is.”
“I’m furious with her for keeping this from me.”
I sighed and walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “She hasn’t told anyone. I think she’s scared. Realizing that you’ve been wrong about your sexual identity your entire life has to be terrifying. I’m sure she never intended to hurt you.”
His pale eyes widened at the same time his eyebrows snapped down. His mouth opened and then shut like he was a fish out of water. “What are you talking about?”
His voice was sharp and it startled me, so I took a step back. “Uh … the fact that Kallie was cheating on you with a woman, didn’t she finally tell you the truth?” I couldn’t imagine what else would have him so riled up.
He let out a whoosh of air and put his hands on his knees as he started to laugh almost hysterically. This went on for a solid five minutes before I put a hand on his back and said his name questioningly.
“That’s not what you were so worked up about?” I frowned at him in confusion.
He slapped the ball cap back on his head and his jaw clenched as his back teeth clicked together. “No, that’s not what I was upset about, but at least now I know that I won’t have to question whether or not the baby is mine.”
“Baby?” The word whispered out and I put a shaking hand to my lips. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
He shook his head and lifted both his hands to drag them over his face. “Nope. She showed up at the house tonight to get the rest of her stuff with a positive pregnancy test. It wasn’t a conversation that went well.”
“I can’t believe this.” I really couldn’t.
“You and me both.” He eyed me speculatively. “Are you really going to leave me here to wade through this mess on my own? Your parents aren’t talking to me and apparently Kallie has more than one secret she’s holding on to.”
I gave him a lopsided smile and nodded. “I’m really going. I’ve finally got my own happy and I’m gonna hold on to it.”
He sighed and turned towards the door. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, and I’m here in spirit if you need me.” He gave a sharp nod and then showed himself out of the apartment. It didn’t escape my notice that when he hit the hallway he turned his head and looked longingly at the doorway where my pretty neighbor lived.
This was a mess that had just gotten even messier. But for once I knew it wasn’t all on me to clean it up. I wanted everyone I loved to have their own happy and to live their best lives possible, but I knew now that it wasn’t up to me to take them by the hand and lead them there. They had to find their own way, just like I had found mine and Church had found his. That didn’t mean I was going to stop lighting the way to all the good things I knew were waiting out there. That was intrinsically part of who I was. I was simply done being the one holding the torch.
The sun was a trillion, billion, million miles away from the Earth and every day we managed to feel its warmth. That would have to be true for those that I loved while I went and lived my own version of the fairy tale I’d always wanted. My story wasn’t perfect but the ending was and that was all that mattered.
Good things did come to those who were willing to wait.