“What?”

 

“Ash,” Shannon replied. She pushed herself up off the floor and stumbled forward into Kyle’s arms. He held her up for a moment before leading her over to the couch.

 

 “I don’t know how he found out I was in the city. He kept calling and calling but I always ignored his calls. I didn’t want to talk to him. I knew I shouldn’t talk to him. But then we went out to celebrate and I got drunk and he called again...”

 

“After I dropped you off in your room,” Kyle muttered guiltily.

 

He obviously thought that if he had stuck around longer, all of this could be avoided. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Had Shannon not given in at that moment, she would have at some point. This was unavoidable and she knew it. That was part of the reason she hated herself even more. It was just so unfair that Ash still had such a strong hold on her. She thought that had waned more than it actually had.

 

“As soon as I heard his voice everything crumbled. All my thoughts and my resolve just fell apart. The time I spent to get over him and how hard I worked to move forward seemed to have been in vain, all just because I heard his fucking voice!”

 

Shannon kicked her coffee table, effectively shattering the glass, but she didn’t care. So she wouldn’t be able to sell it anymore, at least it had been gratifying to kick it in the moment. She doubled over her knees, shaking. It was all just so unfair.

 

“He called me and sent messages after that, but when I kept ignoring him, he stopped. He finally left me alone.” Her voice cracked as she spoke the last sentence. The thought he had really left her for good was terrifying and heart breaking. Had she made a mistake?

 

She felt Kyle’s hand land softly on the back of her shoulder. “Shannon,” he muttered. It reminded her of the way Ash had said it. Then it struck her– what if he had called to seek help? She recalled Mikey’s words about Ash getting lost in the drug and party scene of the rock star world. What if, knowing she was in town, he thought there was even a sliver of hope to get out of it all?  

 

Before she could stop herself, Shannon launched into that conversation with Kyle. It was more like she was filling him in on what Mikey had said and then set off an avalanche of her thoughts and feelings on the subject. Somehow she had ended up confessing that she told Ash she missed him. She admitted it was true. Kyle remained quiet the entire time. He let her talk on and on as he listened patiently, not a single expression crossing his face. When she finally finished, she turned to look him directly in the eyes.

 

“I can’t blame you,” he finally told her. “And you were drunk. You weren’t in control of what you told him. That doesn’t mean you can’t move forward. He finally got the message, Shannon. Maybe now you can finally close that door and feel like you really can move forward. Plus, you have a much bigger thing to focus on now that will help.” He paused and turned to face her. She drew in a deep sigh as he reached out and cupped her cheek. Displays of physical affection from Kyle were rare but genuine, every single time. Shannon leaned into the touch and shut her eyes.

 

“Besides, you know you’ll always have me to lean on. You know I will always, always care about you and be here for you.”

 

Shannon opened her eyes to look into his. When he spoke to her like this, his voice was much softer than usual. It was true. His words were true and she knew it. He had already demonstrated just how much she meant to him and how far he was willing to go to help and protect her. She stared at him a bit harder and that was when she noticed his eyes appeared to be watering.

 

Was he fighting back tears? He was the only person in the world with whom she had ever felt such strong comfort. Shannon felt completely free to be herself around him without any apologies. He truly saw who she was and valued her for it. Why was she such a fool?

 

In that moment of strong emotional vulnerability, she thought that leaning in and pressing her lips to his was the right thing to do. In that moment, when she felt everything draining from her because of Ash, kissing Kyle felt like the right thing to do.

 

When he didn’t pull away, it made her think it was the right course of action. She scooted forward on the couch and placed her hands on his shoulders, right near his neck. She moved her lips and tilted her head, making the simple peck a full on kiss. He didn’t fight it. He gave into it. She felt the hand on her cheek move to the back of her head. It was a slow kiss that had started with so much uncertainty, but she quickly pushed forward.

 

She swung one of her legs over his lap and pressed her body into his. She broke the kiss for a brief second to get a quick breath before going in again. Kyle’s lips were much softer than she would have thought they would be. Her hand ran over his chest and down his stomach until it landed on his belt buckle. He made a strange noise in her mouth. Unsure of what he meant by it, she pushed her breasts against his chest before pulling back and quickly pulling her t-shirt off. She threw it over the back of the couch and immediately landed her lips back on his.

 

She grabbed his hand and guided it up her side until it was resting right under the cup of her bra. She was urging him on to move things forward, but he wasn’t doing it. Not feeling like waiting for him, she opened the palm of her hand over the crotch of his jeans. As soon as she felt his hard bulge she moaned lightly into the kiss.

 

She could feel him tense up and hold his breath. Not wanting to waste even a minute, she started rubbing his hardness over his jeans. He shifted his hips and pushed up into her touch but, quite suddenly, he pulled away from the kiss and practically pushed her off. She leaned back against the couch and watched as he stood up to adjust his pants. His face was red and he looked completely flustered.

 

“What the-”

 

“This isn’t right!” It was the first time he had ever screamed at her.

 

That very thought seemed to have registered with him as soon as it happened. He looked down and sighed before walking around the back of the couch to pick up her t-shirt and toss it to her. She draped it lazily over her bra. She didn’t really care if he saw her. It wasn’t a big deal anyway.

 

“This isn’t the answer, Shannon. This won’t fix anything and it won’t make you feel better. Besides, I could never forgive myself if things got further than they already did. It would be like I was taking advantage of the situation and your feelings. You deserve better than that.” He looked at her for a moment before turning on his heel and walking out the door, leaving her alone to try and process what the hell had just happened.

 

Shannon spent the rest of the week holed up in her apartment, ignoring calls and messages from everybody, until the day of the big move came. Much as she wanted to pretend she hadn’t tried having sex with Kyle, things were still a bit awkward between them when they met up. That stressed her out even further given that they were about to start living together. The good thing was that the actual act of moving was long and arduous so by the time night rolled around in the new apartment, they were both too tired to awkwardly muddle through any sort of interaction. Instead, they went straight to bed. The entire next day was spent settling into the apartment, culminating with Shannon cooking for the four of them.     

 

“This is surreal,” Luke said between bites of his steak. He looked around the apartment and grimaced. “How is it our apartments are identical, but yours turned out so much more awesome?”

 

Ben snorted, but said nothing.

 

“Obvious, isn’t it? Shannon’s got the magic touch,” Kyle muttered before taking a sip of his soda pop.

 

Luke snickered. “Of course you’d know all about her ‘magic touch’, wouldn’t ya Kyle?”

 

Both Shannon and Kyle froze. The other two noticed and exchanged glances. “What the fuck?!” Luke slammed his hand down on the table, making everything rattle.

 

“What?!” Shannon asked. She slammed both hands down on the table and pushed herself to stand. She was already angry. The weight of everything had overcome her in that moment and she wasn’t up for whatever bullshit Luke was about to spew. Nothing had happened and, even if it had, that was between her and Kyle. She was beyond frustrated with everything going on—it was crushing.

 

“What? You think we didn’t fucking notice how you two fools froze when-”

 

“Who the hell are you calling a fool?” Shannon spat as she charged forward toward Luke. Ben instinctively jumped up and stood between them, earning him an intense glare from Shannon. She pursed her lips and took a deep breath.

 

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but nothing happened.” She reached out and slapped the glass beside her, sending soda pop to spill over the table, before stalking off and slamming her bedroom door shut.

 

It was an hour later when there was a knock on her door.

 

“Come in,” she called out. She didn’t want to see or talk to anybody but figured it was for the best not to make things even more tense than they already were. When she saw Kyle standing against her doorframe, she wasn’t sure how she felt. It was a relief to see him rather than Ben or Luke, but with everything that had happened it was awkward. Either way, things between them needed to be cleared up. The last thing she needed or wanted was to have a weird relationship with her best friend over a moment of weakness.

 

“Things don’t have to be like this,” he muttered, taking a seat on her desk chair. “I understand what happened that night and I don’t hold it against you. We can pretend it never happened. As for those guys, they’ll eventually believe us and get over it.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Look, we’re all under a ton of pressure right now and we don’t really know how to deal with it. It’s not like this is anything any of us have ever been through, but we will get through it together.”

 

“How do you always know what to say?” She felt like she was tearing up. Maybe it was foolish or maybe it made perfect sense but, in what seemed like an instant, it was like her best friend was back and a huge source of stress had vanished into thin air.   

 

“I don’t,” he muttered. Shannon shot him a look as he chuckled. “I guess we’re just compatible that way,” he added. He smiled and patted her on the shoulder before leaving her room. He knew her well enough to know she needed time to be alone and reflect on everything that had just happened. She needed to think. She needed to plan.