Chapter Nineteen
Tony stood outside Jessie’s hospital room until his legs started going numb. The guard posted outside her door gave him a few curious looks, but for the most part ignored him.
He’d been waiting since they’d brought her in hours ago, with nothing to do but run through every detail of the last several weeks in his mind. He’d been a damn fool. Yes, Jessie hadn’t been totally honest with him, but she’d had her reasons. She was nothing like Lucille. Nothing. Her lies, her evasiveness, even her involvement in the club, had all been for the good of others. There wasn’t an evil bone in her body. She would never have betrayed him as Lucille did.
No. He was the one who’d betrayed her. He’d known deep down that she was an innocent, that whatever she was mixed up in, it was for a good reason. And he’d turned her in anyway. He’d been so afraid of repeating past mistakes that he’d made a whole slew of new ones. Worse mistakes. Yes, the evidence had pointed to her being dirty. But his gut had told him the truth. But he’d been so afraid to screw up again he’d given up the woman he…he loved.
He sank to his haunches, leaning against the wall and letting his elbows rest on his knees, his head hanging. He didn’t care what she’d done, what sorts of lies she’d told. Despite all of it, he loved her. Loved her so much her absence was like a gaping hole in his shredded heart. She might be just on the other side of the wall, but she may as well have been thousands of miles away.
He’d lost her. He knew it. If he’d trusted his instincts, if he’d tried harder to gain her trust, find out what was really going on, or hell, even given her the chance to tell him her side of the story before he’d given her up to Jameson, then maybe he’d have a chance.
But he’d done none of those things. He’d let his fear and his past get in the way. And the price was Jessie.
Finally, Tony sighed and straightened up. She hated him. He knew that. He’d made a mess of things and she’d probably never forgive him. If she didn’t, he’d have to live with that. But he wanted her to know all the details before he walked out of her life for good. She deserved so much more, but he could give her that much at least.
He pushed her door open and let it close quietly behind him. She wasn’t asleep. She lay in the bed, looking somehow smaller than she had before. Her arm was wrapped up to the elbow. He pulled a chair over and sat by her bed. She kept her attention fixed on the window, on the rain that ran in tiny rivulets down the panes.
“Jessie?”
She didn’t answer.
Tony wracked his brain, not knowing how to start. How do you apologize for destroying someone’s life? “The doctors said your arm should heal well. You’ll get out of here soon.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “Yes, but to go where? Home?” She finally looked at him and the haunted sadness in her eyes carved a hole in his heart. She looked back out the window. “I don’t even have a home to go to.”
“Jessie…”
A quiet sigh escaped her. “What do you want, Tony?”
“To talk.”
“I think everything that needed to be said has been said. Let’s just leave each other in peace.”
Tony shook his head. “You don’t know. I need you to understand why…”
She looked at him again, her eyes huge and bright in her pale face. “I don’t need to know why. It doesn’t matter.”
He wanted to gather her to him and just hold her.
“Yes, it does. I didn’t do this to hurt you, Jessie. I didn’t set out to destroy your life.”
“Didn’t you? You walked into my shop with the express purpose of getting as close to me as possible, romantically, if necessary, in order to get information on the Phoenix so you could arrest him and shut down his speakeasy. Right?”
Tony leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Yes,” he said, weariness coating the word.
“Then you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe you didn’t mean to destroy me, when that is exactly what you set out to do, by any means necessary. Only it wasn’t enough for you to just destroy my life. You had to destroy my heart, too.”
“I never wanted to hurt you, Jessie,” Tony said, nearly choking on his regret. “I’m sorry. I truly am.”
Jessie was silent for a moment. “You could have stopped it.”
“Yes. But I was too afraid of making another mistake.”
Jessie was quiet for a moment, then let out a small sigh. “Like the one that cost your partner his life?”
Tony’s gaze shot to hers, shock thrumming through him. “You know about that?”
She nodded. “Mario gave me a newspaper clipping, warned me not to trust you.”
Tony closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s what was in the envelope he gave you.”
Jessie’s eyes widened, but only slightly. Tony supposed with everything else she’d found out, knowing he’d seen that exchange wasn’t particularly shocking.
“What did you give him?”
Jessie closed her eyes and leaned back against her pillow. “My father owed Willie money and when he died, Willie expected me to pay off the debt. I was late with a payment, so Mario came to collect.”
Tony let out a long breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jessie didn’t answer that, but then she didn’t need to. Tony knew exactly why she hadn’t confided in him.
“He also warned me that they’d be watching in case I decided to switch sides and join you,” she said, her voice small, quiet.
“Which is why they bombed your shop.”
Jessie shrugged, grimacing when the movement pulled on her arm. “Who knows? Maybe they thought I was too close to you. Maybe they wanted to send a message to the Phoenix. Maybe they just thought I was overcharging for steaks. It doesn’t really matter. My shop is gone.”
Tony leaned over and took her hand, relief flooding him when she allowed it. “I’m sorry, Jessie. For all of it.”
She looked at him, those big blue eyes he loved finally meeting his. He could drown in those eyes. They would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. He could only pray that someday the happy spark he loved so much would return. All he knew for sure was that he would never, ever again be responsible for an ounce of pain marring their lovely depths. He’d die first.
“Well, isn’t this cozy?”
Jameson pushed through the door and came around to the other side of Jessie’s bed. Jessie removed her hand from Tony’s, pulling her blankets up like they’d be added protection against the agent staring her down.
“Really, Miss Harlan, you must be an incredibly forgiving person. I’m impressed.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, I know if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be speaking to the man who brought me down, let alone lying there holding his hand.”
“Jameson, enough. Let her be.”
Jameson cocked an eyebrow. “Didn’t you come to gloat?” he asked Tony. “You should be proud. A whole team of my agents couldn’t make a crack in that façade she had up. Yet you brought down the whole operation in just under three months. It’s impressive, truly. I might even recommend you get your job back on the force. They were too hasty letting you go after that little mess with your partner.”
Tony stood and took a step in Jameson’s direction, not caring what the consequences would be if he decked the man. Jessie’s voice stopped him.
“What was impressive?”
Jameson turned a sneering smile on Jessie. “Miss Harlan, it is my very great pleasure to inform you that you’ll be brought up on charges of racketeering, obstruction of justice, the illegal ownership and sale of alcohol, and any other charges we can make stick in conjunction with your running of the speakeasy called The Red Phoenix.”
Jessie breathed slowly in and out, but her face was as white as the sheets she laid on. “You don’t have any proof of any of that.”
“What? Didn’t he tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Jessie bit out, her eyes darting back and forth between Jameson and Tony.
“Jameson,” Tony warned.
Jameson ignored him. “We’ve got all the evidence we need to put you away for a very long time. Photographs of your private stores, not to mention all the confiscated hooch we found at the club, the location of the speakeasy, all the contents of your office, and photographs of you accepting payoffs from Mario Russo, a well-known associate of Willie the Weasel. All courtesy of Mr. Solomon here.”
Jessie looked at Tony, her eyes wide, her tears making them liquid pools of sapphire.
“Now,” Jameson continued, though Jessie kept her eyes on Tony, “if you’d like to be cooperative, we might be able to make a deal.”
Jameson grasped the end of her bed and leaned over, startling her into looking at him. “Give us the Phoenix and you might just get out of prison before all that pretty hair of yours turns gray.”
Jessie’s forehead crinkled in confusion and her gaze flicked to Tony. “But…”
Tony grabbed Jameson’s arm and pulled him away from her bed. “That’s enough, Jameson. You’ve said what you wanted to say. You can’t expect her to make a decision like that right away.”
Jameson glared at Tony, but finally nodded. “Fine then. Twenty-four hours, Miss Harlan. When you decide who’s going to prison, you let me know.”
He shook Tony’s hand off his arm and marched from the room.
Tony went back to the side of the bed, Jessie’s round eyes following him the whole time. He stared down at her. Down at this woman who would own his heart and soul until the day he died.
“I know I’ve made a mess of things, Jessie. I can’t fix everything. But I’ll do what I can to make this right. I swear it to you.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead and then turned and left her with tears streaming down her cheeks.
…
Tony went straight to his office and began pulling files and film from the safe where he’d stashed all his information on Jessie and the Phoenix. He’d told Jameson what he had on Jessie. But he hadn’t turned any of it over yet and Jameson had been too stupid to insist.
For the first time, Tony was grateful for the rickety little woodburning stove that served to heat his office. He yanked open the door and began feeding the files into it, one at a time, making sure they were completely consumed. Then he tossed the photos he’d taken—of Jessie accepting the envelope from Russo, of the tunnels beneath the shop, of the cellar full of gin. All of it. Within minutes, every last piece of evidence he’d collected was destroyed.
Then he sat at his desk and waited for Jameson to show. He didn’t have to wait long.