“Do you really have to leave?” Laird asks, his blue eyes dim. At only thirteen, he’s all gangly limbs and braces.

I ruffle his dirty-blond hair and wish like hell I could give him a different answer. “Yeah, but I won’t be gone long. Soon as basic training is over, I’ll be back for a visit.”

It’s a lie, but I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t ruin the beach for him. He’s had his life ruined enough in the last month.

We’re in his favorite spot, sitting on a log that washed up nearly to the sand dunes. Unlike me, it seems to be here for good. No amount of hurricane-force winds or rising tides can move it from this spot.

He shrugs, then lifts a piece of sand glass to his lips, whistling sharply. “Maybe I should join the Army.”

Your heart couldn’t take it, I want to say, but I don’t. No need to insult him or diminish his giving nature. Even at eighteen, I know this about my little brother. In the not-too-distant past, some might have accused me of possessing the same kind of heart.

Only, I don’t have a choice.

I can’t stay here and live off my name. Hell, there’s not much money behind our name anymore as it is. The IRS tends to frown on not paying taxes.

And our father’s accountant didn’t pay taxes on the family shipping business for years before the government caught wind of it.

“Maybe you should work on your pitch. I heard Coach tell mom you could play up a level this summer,” I say, focusing on the ocean.

Waves rise and fall.

The clean scent of the water rushes over me.

Every now and then, I get a whiff of brine and diesel from the ships that are in port.

“I guess so.” He shifts beside me. “Knight, I want ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

Knots form in my stomach, so big and heavy I can’t move. “What’s that?”

He turns. Because I know I have to look at him, I face him. “Why did Daddy...” He swallows, and his big eyes fill with tears. “Why did he have to ... with the gun... Why?”

I throw my arm around his bony shoulders, not saying anything. What can I say about our dad’s suicide? I’m only eighteen for fuck’s sake. Our oldest brother Duke is way more equipped in handling shit like this. Hell, even Deacon or Baron—

“Knight?” he whispers. “Should I talk to Quinn?”

“Nah. Give me a second.” I lick my lips, salt flavoring my tongue. Looking away from him, I stare at the sandpipers as they run from the water crashing on the beach. “Sometimes... people feel like there’s no other way out.”

Laird doesn’t reply, so I peek at him. Big tears drip down his face, but he’s not making a sound.

“That morning, I told Daddy I was mad he didn’t go to my last soccer game,” he blurts, his body caving in on itself. “I broke one of his stupid ships, too.”

“You can’t blame yourself. You can’t...” I run out of words, then regroup. “Which ship?”

“Queen Anne’s Revenge.”

His favorite model ship. “Damn.”

Laird snorts. “Daddy didn’t yell at me, ground me... or anything.”

“You want me to?”

He nods, his breath shaky as he exhales. “Yeah.”

“Fine. You’re grounded for life. Never leave you room, especially not to moon over girls.”

“Girls are annoying.”

“Especially Ophelia,” I agree, just to see what he says. Ophelia is what a lot of people would call touched in the head. She sees fairies, mermaids, and sprites, believes that statues come to life during the full moon. Can’t really blame her, though—she basically takes care of herself and her crazy momma.

None of that matters to Laird, though.

He thinks the sun rises and sets because of her... and I’m not going to tell him to get over his crush. Laird needs something pure to hold on to right now.

He jerks back. “No. She’s different.”

I hold up my hands, relieved he took the bait. I can totally bust his balls for liking a girl. Pretty sure there’s a rule for brothers about that. “Hey, you asked me to punish you.”

“I want a different punishment,” he mutters.

I think about it for a moment. “How about you get Queen Anne fixed?”

“Not enough money.”

“Learn how to do it yourself.”

He squints at me. “Like from a book?”

“Yeah, they have this place called the library. For some reason, that’s where people like to keep books.” I nudge him in the side. “I heard it’s even open after school.”

He grins, the teeth along the side of his gums either missing or growing in. “I can do that.”

“Good.” I stand up, brushing off the back of my shorts. “Ready to go home?”

“I am now. Thanks, Knight.” He jumps to his feet, running down to the shore and chasing the seagulls away.

They fly up into the air, calling out to their bird friends.

A smile kicks up the corner of my mouth. “Everything will be okay. You’ll see,” I whisper.