Cannon

 

 

I’d been staying with my mom for the past week and a half. Though Paige didn’t say it, I no longer felt welcome at her place. I felt even worse, because it was basically my fault that Allie found us that morning. I’d left my mom’s in the middle of the night without saying good-bye to anyone, shown up drunk at Paige’s, and apparently forgotten to lock the door when I got home. And I was hung over, so I didn’t hear Allie come in until she was practically in the doorway, watching us with judgmental eyes.

Allie was still pissed at me, but I knew in time she’d get over it. If she thought Paige was going to be a distraction from my career, she was wrong. Paige didn’t want a future with me. At least, that’s what I’d been led to believe.

“Hello? Mom?” I called out as I let myself inside.

I found her in the kitchen baking. Mom baked when she was stressed; it was kind of her thing. A plate of frosted pumpkin bars sat on the counter, and a pan of brownies was cooling on top of the stove. Mom was elbow deep in a mixing bowl, kneading what looked like biscuit dough. I eyed everything with apprehension.

“Cannon.” She smiled when she saw me. “Glad you’re here. Hand me that canister of flour.”

I did as I was told, then sat down on the bar stool at the counter to watch her work. “How are you holding up?” I raised my brows at the counters, which were now piled high.

“What? They’re for the church brunch this weekend.”

I rolled my eyes. Baking was a much better alternative to lying in bed crying, but still she was my mom, and I was allowed to poke fun at her idiosyncrasies.

“So, talk to me about Denver,” she said, dusting the countertop with more flour.

I’d called her the minute the opportunity was presented to me, wanting her input, although ultimately the decision was mine to make. But all that was before Bob passed. Things were different now.

“Mom, I can’t possibly leave you now. Not after everything that’s happened.”

I hadn’t told her about Paige and me, and I’d made Allie promise not to either. Mom had enough to worry about. She didn’t need to know about the drama still stewing between us. Allie had reluctantly agreed through text message, still refusing to speak to me much.

“Of course you can, and you will. I’ve always known this day was coming, and I’ve been preparing for it for a long time, Cannon.”

I weighed her words, turning them over in my head. I had never put myself in her shoes, never considered what it was like to be a parent, to know your children would grow up and leave you one day. But she was right; it’s something you always know is coming.

“I was fine when you went off to Yale, and I’ll be fine now.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the heavy crease between her brows proved her point. My mom had lived alone most of her adult life. My dad wasn’t in the picture very long before cutting out, and she’d made it just fine. All those years, she forged a life for herself, tugging two small kids behind her.

Mom turned out the ball of dough onto the floured countertop and began rolling it out with a large wooden rod.

I was grateful when she met Bob and fell in love. It wasn’t fair that she’d only gotten to have him in her life a handful of years. But then again, I knew life wasn’t fair. It was from her that I’d learned how to take the sourest, bitterest parts of life and turn them into something productive. It was time for my mom to make lemonade.

“Cannon, there’s something else I want to ask you,” Mom said.

“What is it?”

“Your roommate, Paige.” She hesitated, smoothing her hands over the front of her apron.

My heart thudded dully in my chest. Had Allie said something? Watching Allie freak out that morning hadn’t been easy. But Paige’s indifferent response toward me afterward had been much worse.

“What about her?”

“I watched how you were with her during the funeral. You were attentive and sweet, and paired with the fact that I know you harbored a secret crush on her when you were young . . .” Mom stuck her hands into the ball of dough once again. “Call it mother’s intuition, but I just got the sense that maybe there was something going on between you two. And then you suddenly left and hightailed it back here.”

“Mom, I love you, but I’m not going to talk about my sex life with you.”

She made a noise of agreement. “That confirms it then.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Is it merely physical, Cannon? Part of me always wondered if you two would cross the line into more than just friend territory.”

“I don’t think Paige is interested in that, Mom. And besides, Allie would never go for it.”

“You never know, Cannon-ball. Many things can be solved over a cup of coffee and some conversation.”

I pressed the heel of my hand against my temple, feeling the stirrings of a headache. “Doesn’t matter now, anyway. You’re right about Denver. As long as you’re okay, there’s no reason for me to stay.”

It was too good an opportunity to pass up. And if Mom insisted she didn’t need me, there wasn’t anything holding me here. Unless you counted a sister I wasn’t on speaking terms with, and the woman I’d always desired who was honest from the start about what she wanted from me—a few mind-blowing orgasms and nothing more.

Mom nodded, a small smile on her lips. “I know you’ll do the right thing. You always do.”

I wasn’t so sure about that.