Chapter 2
The Question of Emotions and Honesty
Rosaline did not fight Ignacio as he led her to a small outdoor garden far from where they had started.
Once they got there, he looked around, her hand still in his. “We can sit over here.” Again he pulled her along to a small bench. He sat and patted the space next to him. She looked at him, not quite sure what to think of his enthusiasm. “Oh, right. Here.” He pulled a barrier around them. “There. No one can hear us. Go ahead, you can use me so that you are more comfortable.”
“Why?” She tilted her head to the side.
Ignacio’s eyes narrowed for a second, his brow creased in concern. “I thought it would help you. The way you spoke a few moments ago, clearly something about what happened bothered you. I mean, you didn’t exactly hide it well on the way home either, but just now I realized why you seemed a little off on the way back. I know that you have been largely… unable to tap into your magic because you have had to train in how to allow others to tap into your magic pool. It must come as a shock when you have to use it on such a large scale, even if you had a champion there to help you.”
Rosaline blinked, then sat down. No one had ever tried to talk to her about how she felt. It was strange. “Oh, I didn’t have any help. Legend wasn’t there.”
“What?” Ignacio stood up. “Has something happened to him? We kept our distance, I swear.”
There was something almost like panic in his eyes, and it made Rosaline feel a lot better. She smiled and reached out to him. Pulling him back to the bench, she said, “No, no, nothing like that. There were traces that some very powerful magic had been there, and signs that Legend had… been involved at some point. I can’t imagine anyone else absolutely decimating their ranks.”
Ignacio smiled and sat down. “I wish I could meet him. And I am sorry you didn’t get to.”
“Me too. I was so looking forward to it. But I don’t understand.” She looked at him again, her hand going to her lip.
“No more of that.” He took her hand and pulled it away from her face. “No more hurting yourself.”
“Why? Why are doing this?” Her large bluish-lavender eyes looked into his.
“Do you not want me to?” His expression was a mixture of confusion and hurt.
Rosaline’s eyes moved over his face, and she realized that in all of her years, Ignacio had shown her more honest expressions than anyone else—no one else had ever appeared to be so open with her. Her heart seemed to stop, and for a moment, she worried that perhaps she had overexerted herself on the mission. She finally said, “No, it’s nice.” A small smile spread across her lips. “Thank you.”
He nodded at her, “Tell me whatever will help you. I am here to listen.”
She wished he would take her hand again, but he put his hands in his lap and watched her expectantly. Wringing her hands, she frowned at a flower nearby. “After we split up, I followed the trail of tainted magic.”
“That must have been a horror all on its own.”
Her eyes went up to his, and she nodded. “Some of it was fear, but some of it was more like… dead magic. They warped those women. They were still in there, at the core, but trapped and screaming within themselves. That was the easiest to follow, but… I never want another woman to go through that again.”
“That is why we are involved now. To stop the Unwashed.”
Rosaline shook her head, “We should have been involved sooner. Much sooner. They should never have gotten to that point. They used our magic, you know. That was druid magic they were using, and the only thing that could mean…” Her voice trailed off because she did not want to say what must have happened. Instead, she turned her thoughts to the pure emotions that realization elicited. “It made me angry. So very, very angry. And to drown out the horror and pain that I felt at that warped magic, I allowed rage to seep in. By the time I found them, I think I was beyond reason. I didn’t even think anymore, my hands and mouth worked a spell I had only a slight understanding of. A spell from an obscure book.”
A hand covered hers, and Rosaline realized that she was pulling at her lip again. The taste of blood was more obvious. The same tender green eyes were looking into hers. “So you were looking for a book to help you understand.” He patted the book on the bench.
Rosaline didn’t want to lie to him, so she looked away. Ignacio was just trying to give her a momentary break from the memories, but now that she had started to relive it, she wanted to get through it. “Before I knew it, the world exploded around us, but not in any way that could be called normal. Some of them were pulled into themselves, removing them from existence. A few of the prisoners disappeared, I can only assume because they had been placed in the caravan cages by the men who now no longer existed on any time line. When I realized that it wasn’t just Unwashed who could be wiped away, I changed my magic, and tied all of the humans in the area into a time loop. Using the Judgment, I made sure they would not leave that spot until they learned the error of their ways.”
“And if they don’t?” He squeezed her hand as if to reassure her.
“If they don’t learn, they will grow old and die in that spot. A loop that will appear to everyone else like a strange rock formation.”
“Like a mirage in a desert?”
Rosaline nodded, “Yes. But people will not go that way. Not for a few years. The time there is scarred by the tainted magic. Too much was used in too short a period of time, with too many magic users. Their fear and our powers made sure that people will view the area as unlucky. Once people begin to sense that the magic is fading, they will start to travel it, mostly the bad ones who do not mind the negativity that goes with it. I hope they get pulled into the loop.”
“Is that possible?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how it works or exactly what it can do.” She looked up into his eyes. “Is that bad? Should I not act without knowing first?”
He patted her hand, “It is always best to think first, but sometimes you have to trust your gut. That is how people survive in the world.”
“It was horrible.” She bit her lip. “Is it bad that I liked it?”
“You liked it?” The shocked look on his face let her know that she had misspoken.
“At least it made me curious. I did not like what I did, but it was strange to experience such strong emotions.”
Ignacio moved a little closer to her, “Have you never experienced strong emotions?”
Rosaline thought back, “I don't think so. Just what most people have felt.”
Shaking his head, the shifter said, “Even assassins have emotions.”
Rosaline giggled, “Of course, but I know that you all have the same kinds of emotions as we do. You aren’t controlled by them.”
He watched her for a moment, trying to determine if she was being serious or if she was testing him. “Yes, sometimes we are, and that is what we spend years learning—how to keep ourselves under control.” Ignacio’s green eyes flashed as he looked into hers.
“Then you all must be very good.” She tilted her head to the side, “I think that you have shown me more emotion in the last few minutes than I have seen from everyone in my entire life. You always seem to have more emotions than anyone else.”
Ignacio looked away from her, “I am still young and have not yet learned how to hide everything. I hope that it does not cause you harm or discomfort.”
She placed a hand on his face and pulled his gaze back to hers, “How can it hurt me? Seeing such honest emotion makes me happy. I wish that you would be as open and honest with me as you have asked me to be with you today.”
His face turned a bright pink, and Ignacio began to stammer as his eyes seemed unable to look into hers, “I don’t think that is a good idea.”
“Why not?”
Pursing his lips, Ignacio seemed at a complete loss for words.
Rosaline moved toward him a little as he had done for her not long ago. She was aware than his face was even hotter, so she put her hand back in her lap as she spoke, “You wanted to help me be able to talk, and now I feel so much better. It still hurts.” She tapped her chest to emphasize how she felt. “But now I can put it into words. The memory of their faces was...”
She was beginning to get lost in the images as a gentle voice near her supplied, “Haunts you?”
Nodding vigorously, Rosaline agreed with Ignacio, “Yes. Yes. They were haunting me, but now, I understand why. Talking to you about it helped me understand what I was feeling.”
A lopsided grin appeared on Ignacio’s face, “I’m glad I could help you. Something seemed off ever since we met up, but you wouldn’t talk about it. Even Orion said that he was concerned, and he feared that you should not have gone.”
“Oh, but it was good for me!” Her voice was a little louder than she had meant for it to be. “I learned so much from it. Before I left, I had no idea why people were so upset about the Unwashed, but now I have seen what they have done, and I understand why people are so upset. Even I am angered by them, and I had never really understood how strong anger could be.”
A pale hand reached up and brushed a bit of her hair away from her face. Only then did Rosaline realize that she had been talking so animatedly that some of her hair had gotten in her mouth. She blinked at Ignacio as he finished pressing her hair behind her ear. His eyes looked a little strange as he said, “Your hair really is a lovely color. And your new hairstyle really suits you.”
Rosaline stared at him for a moment. It was the first time she could remember anyone saying anything about her appearance. “You… you like my hair?”
“Of course, who doesn’t?” He smiled at her, “It’s like the color of starlight reflected on the ocean.”
“No one has ever told me that.” She stared at him for a moment.
Their eyes locked with his hand so close to her face.
A voice from nearby caught their attention, “Rosaline, the priestesses are wondering where you are.”
Ignacio jumped up, turning his back to her just as Orion appeared in the doorway. Rosaline stared at Ignacio’s back, unsure why he had reacted that way.
“Oh, Ignacio, you are here, too. I was certain that you had already headed out, you were so eager to leave not long ago.”
Ignacio looked at Orion, “I encountered Rosaline as I was heading to pack what I will need. As you said, she seemed burdened by something, so I offered myself as a listener.”
One of Orion’s eyebrows went up as he looked at his mentee, “I bet you did. Get going.”
Ignacio turned and gave a slight bow to Rosaline before offering her his hand. She took it. As he pulled her from the bench, he murmured, “I am very glad that I could help. Remember how you felt just now and you will be fine as you recount that to the priestesses. They will understand that you are still learning, and that what you obtained from this mission will help you on your path.”
He didn’t give her a chance to reply. As soon as Ignacio finished speaking, he spun on his heel and hurried past Orion.
“My apologies. He is young and still has much to learn in this area.” Orion approached Rosaline.
“There is no need for you to apologize. He was right, and I am indebted to Ignacio for his assistance.”
“I am glad to hear it. You do appear… less burdened now.”
“Did I do right talking to him? He looked so flushed and showed so many emotions, I am now worried that perhaps I put too much on poor Ignacio.”
“I think that he can handle it better than you. He is more accustomed to emotions and has more experience controlling them.”
“But isn’t he going on a mission?” Rosaline looked at Orion, wondering if he would be honest about the reason Ignacio was leaving. After everything that had just happened, she wondered what made Dulce special to Ignacio. She suspected that he might be in love with the woman, but the idea seemed very unwelcome to Rosaline.
An assassin and a seer. It’s ridiculous. Why would they let him go if that were the case? It must be something else. He must want to save her the way he wanted to… Rosaline frowned as her mind followed a track that didn’t make her feel any better.
“Perhaps I spoke too early.”
Rosaline looked up at Orion, “I’m sorry?”
“You look a little out of sorts. Are you sure you are alright?”
“I am… I am just worried about placing an unnecessary burden on Ignacio before he goes on a mission. He is good. Very good. But he seemed more emotional just now.”
“Yes, he would.” Orion smiled but provided no additional information.
“Is it because of what I told him?”
“I think it is because you told him more than what you told him.” Orion offered only a friendly smile.
Rosaline tilted her head to the side, “It is difficult to imagine you judging people. You seem so kind-hearted and gentle.”
“Is it any easier to imagine Caspian killing?”
“Noooo. He doesn’t seem like he could kill either. He seems to love everyone. Almost everyone.” The image of him pushing her further down her path appeared in her mind, but it was quickly chased away by another image. A pair of lovely green eyes looked into hers as the words were murmured, It’s like the color of starlight reflected on the ocean. Rosaline realized that she was smiling. “I guess that is what you guys do. They can never see it coming. Is that hard to live with?”
Orion looked back at her, “There is a different answer for each case. We do what we must because it is the path each of us chose. We knew what we were getting into, and we accepted that.”
“How do you know that it was the right path?”
Orion frowned and was silent for a few moments, “Each assassin has a different answer to that. My lady,” he bowed, “I would love to stay and chat, but the priestesses are waiting for you. I myself was quite shocked that you had not been to talk to them yet.”
Rosaline placed her hand on her lip, “I wasn’t ready yet. But I am now. Thank you, Orion.”
As she passed him, Orion gently grabbed her upper arm, “Rosaline, is there…” They stared at each other for a few moments, but Orion did not seem able to finish the question. He seemed to realize that he had grabbed her arm and he quickly released it, giving her a slight bow of his head.
Rosaline tilted her head to the side and gave him a smile, “You are concerned. That is very kind of you, but it is alright.” She patted his hand, knowing that it would make him feel better. “Please be careful, Orion. You should not live with regrets because I know that you feel a lot more than you are willing to show. Don’t let it make you as bitter as it has made Caspian. You are all that holds us together sometimes because you can see what others don’t. Be as good to yourself as you are to others because we are all going to need you soon. The light, caring you that never wants to harm anyone suits you much better than the brooding, moping you.” She gave him a sorrowful smile as his smile faltered. Aware that she had just given him a new burden, she knew it was one he needed for the trials he was about to face. Rosaline did not envy him, but she knew Orion would be alright. He was always alright.
As she headed toward the temple, Rosaline’s mind was wandering out into another part of the Marlyon and a different assassin. Talking to the priestesses now didn’t seem nearly as bad as worrying about what was going to happen in Ishtar.